Me Writing Is Just Me Fucking Around For Several Hours Making The Characters Be Gay N Shit And Then Deleting

early start today. i’ve been working on music again.

a lot of it is from about a year ago so the emotions are still fresh in the lyrics. i hope you don’t mind. i learned how to make beats and i’ve been working on fitting my lyrics into it. so far i have three done.

i started around 3pm and didn’t stop until about 1am. woke up at 5am and got back on it. it’s 7am now. in my head, i still do the math to figure out what time it is for you.

i’m glad i found a passion in music again. i gave up for so long and it felt like a part of me was missing. writing is my therapy. it’s the safest way to express what i feel without hurting anyone.

i wish i could hear your opinion on what i spent my day doing. you always did have a good taste in music. i wish i had told you that.

i think i might be slightly manic right now. i’m not tired. i’ve been spending a Bit too much money on things i don’t need. maybe it’s just the meds taking their course. my roommates are looking out for me and making sure i’m safe. i love them.

words from we hug now by sydney rose

have decided this account is gonna be for not only shit posts but also Private Romance Things™️ i cannot post in front of actual people

was that you? i hope it was.

all i do is yap i’m a professional

my roommates are fighting.

they’re engaged. i love them both very much but they’re both very different when they’re upset. it’s never as triggering as i expect it to be. maybe something in me is still too broken to fix.

i’ve kind of become their couples therapist. i’m usually unneeded but i’m good at looking at situations from the outside.

i do catch myself wondering if this would’ve been us. i hope not. it gets pretty heated. it’s not a bad relationship, they just clash when it comes to the communication of different agreements. i know they love each other.

i loved you even when we fought.

i wake up. i take my pills. i listen to your playlist in the car. i drive to work. i blink and hours have past. i go home. i kiss him and cook with him and sleep with him and i pretend. i pretend i’m not as lonely as i am.

one time i threw up on someone’s penis and i think about it a lot

chat i gotta be honest i might kill myself

there should be a sexy way to pour soup on someones head