Very Specific Julien Baker Lyrics That Fucc Me Up

very specific Julien Baker lyrics that fucc me up

But I think there’s a god and he hears either way …. i rejoice

Maybe it’s all gonna turn out alright and I know that its not but I have to believe that it is 

maybe the emptiness is just a lesson in canvasses

and besides I’m starting to get used to the gap

pinned to the mattress like an insect to styrofoam/ all my prayers are just apologies

Grit my teeth and try to act deserving / When I know there’s nowhere I can hide from your humiliating grace …. and I would go to church on sunday

rom the sting, paper sheets, bloodwork and the IV / And the whirring machines while the nurses reassure me

(I know I shouldn’t act this way in public)

But I’ve kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers that never loved me/ And I know my body is just dirty clothes

And I just let the parking lot swallow me up / Choking your tires, and kicking up dust / Asking aloud why you’re leaving / But the pavement won’t answer me