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by elliothawkey

Why This Chris Must Go

I didn’t post this until I’d waded through seventeen different sources - including The New York Times and California political donor records (which are public) and wasted too much time that should have been spent harassing my daughter about her homework. But there was a joking little Twitter poll about Which Chris Must Go? that went viral when people starting posting about Chris Pratt’s political and “spiritual” leanings. I was on the fence about Pratt since he abruptly divorced Anna Faris and left their special needs son to hastily marry Katherine Schwarzenegger. Then, he joined the GOP Schwarzenegger family’s church, The Hillsong Church, which considers LGBTQ+ an “offense against god” and advocates for electroshock therapy to get rid of the gay. (Remember that barbaric shit? Even my backwards ass state banned it.) He also works with Jews for Jesus, who attempt to convert people from the Jewish faith to Christianity (I guess with electroshock therapy, since that’s working for the gays, right Chris?) Aaaand, he and his adorable bride donated a heavy chunk of change to Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign. I’m no political scientist, but that sounds like a pretty staunch support for this psycho to get re-elected. Frankly, I don’t care. That’s not why I’m disgusted.

It was quite the backlash. And so guess who leaps to his defense? Some of the rich, white straight guys from Marvel. Robert Downey Jr. who initially posted “Fuck you all.” in response on his Instagram account deleted it before adding this lovely moment of concern. My sweet Mark Ruffalo (oh, Mark, how could you?) did as well.

You know who didn’t leap to his defense? Brie Larsen. Tessa Thompson. Zendaya. (Nor any of the other Chrises, by the way.) So, where was the support when these women were viciously bullied online? Brie got death threats for daring to become Captain America. Tessa and Z were ruthlessly subjected to racism and misogyny for acting in the Marvel Universe. Not a fucking word of defense for these women- who were truly being brutalized. So, RDJ? Fuck you, kitten. Fuck you for being a hypocrite and defending the guy just because the public learned about his leanings and “spiritual” activities. And Mark, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed. And for the other rich, white, straight Hollywood guys to leapt to his defense? Brie, Tessa and Z are still waiting for your passionate words of support.

When they wake up, it takes them a while to realise that they have me. I’m in their heads by then, and my wings are unfurled, the talons sunk into the brain. Groaning when they realise I’m with them, they try to go back to sleep. More sleep might be enough to drive me away, they think.

It doesn’t work like that.

Sara’s her name. Her lover whispers it when they both wake up, only minutes apart. I whisper the name, too—don’t worry, she can’t hear it—and I try to get a feel for her. Not a very expressive face, she keeps it blank and featureless. The sort of girl who’d hide inside a boring old cardigan and pretend she’s too good for fashion.

She groans louder and swivels her feet off of the bed, down to the floor.

“Bad sleep?” the partner asks.

“Headache.”

“Bad?”

“Explosive.”

That makes me smile. A lot of people just leave it at ‘headache’, like I don’t deserve any qualifiers, like I don’t deserve to be acknowledged in my uniqueness. But no, I like Sara now. I revel in her description of me, I hold the letters out on a string of gold, and I want the word tattooed onto my metaphorical forehead.

Explosive.

“Damn. I don’t wanna be you right now,” the partner mutters.

Beaming, I pulse harder and harder, beating down on the walls of the brain, breaking brick and shaking the mortar. It’s one thing to be admired by your friends, it’s another entirely to hear your enemies’ complaints. If you give them nothing to complain about, what even is the point of your existence?

“Please don’t.” Sara is dragging her feet towards the bathroom now. Her limbs feel numb. I hold on to what I’ve got.

“We’re out of pills, the painkillers, I mean.”

Sara glares at her partner. Well, she tries to, but I don’t think she quite manages. It’s enough to get the partner out of the bed, though.

“I’ll get some more from the pharmacy. You can rest easy today. You should call work, let them know you won’t make it.”

Sara has her fingers on her forehead now, and she’s rubbing her temples, rubbing her forehead, rubbing whatever part of the skin outside of her skull that she thinks I might be hiding in. It’s a pitiful attempt, if you know anything about me, about headaches in general.

“Rest easy! That’s an order, private!” the partner announces, tries to be cute.

“Just get out already!” Sara yells, and then she whines loudly, gripping her head and stumbling back towards the bed.

The partner is a little taken aback. “Sorry,” she says, and slips out of the room.

I continue to work my magic. The last one I had my talons in was an old lady who didn’t really make it all the way to the end of my tenure.

“I know you can hear me,” Sara says, and I glance up to see if her partner has returned. “Yes, you. Headache. I know you’re there.”

Releasing my hold, I stare at the end of the bed. Sara takes her hands off of her head and wraps them around her knees. “I don’t have much to say to you. Just know that you won’t make it out of my body. You won’t survive.”

“Explosive,” I whisper to myself. Was it the truth?

Sugar and Spice

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Female Reader Summary: You make a sweet impression on one of the new tattoo artists in the neighborhood. Word Count: Over 2.3k Warnings: Flirting, fluff, innuendos, brief moment of insecurity (reader's mom kind of sucks, sorry!), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Future smut, slight angst, and feels. A/N: Because I "need" another tattoo AU, let me introduce you to Hottie and Sugar. ❤️ Thank you to @rookthorne , @sweeterthanthis, @dreamlessinparis, @11thstreetvigilante for listening to me ramble about this man and some future upcoming shennanigans. Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby (thank you!), but any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by yours truly, divider by the amazing @firefly-graphics, and Bucky edit by the wonderful Nix. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

The first time Bucky Barnes walked into your bakery, your best friend and co-owner, Tess, assumed he was lost. Maybe because he didn't appear to be your average customer. A confident aura surrounded him, like he took what he wanted without question. You hadn't encountered a man who looked like sin incarnate before.

It took you a moment to greet him with how dry your mouth had gone.

The stranger didn't smile as he made it to the counter in a few strides. It surprised you that he got through the door with his massive frame. The dark t-shirt and jeans looked painted on and the skin you could see was littered with tattoos. A handsome package wrapped up with chestnut brown hair past his ears, short beard, and steel blue eyes.

Lust at first sight was an understatement.

It was as if he walked out of your wet dreams and into your life.

Sin. Incarnate.

You smiled from ear to ear when you saw him up close, even though he still didn't smile back. You didn't take it personally. Tess once said you were too sweet for your own good, but you replied you never knew what was going on with your customers. Maybe a bit of kindness would brighten their day.

You weren't sure if it was friendliness that he needed, but he wouldn't stop staring at you.

You admitted to yourself later that his gaze made your heart pound and it wasn't out of intimidation.

"Hi. What can I get for you?" you asked.

He blinked and looked toward the display case, giving you a chance to exhale.

When did you start holding your breath?

"Something sweet," he said, his voice huskier than you expected as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Those were the exact words my punk friend said."

"That's extremely helpful in a bakery," you deadpanned.

His eyebrows shot up as you dropped the serious expression and started laughing. It surprised you when he laughed with you. Not only did you consider his reaction a personal victory, but it made him look even more handsome.

How was that possible?

"Exactly what I said."

"Well, not sure if he's allergic to anything or how many of you are eating, but we can do an assortment of cookies if you'd like," you suggested, walking to the end of the case to show him the different flavors.

"That sounds good. A dozen should work," he said, narrowing his eyes as he placed his large hands on the glass and looked it over again. Was it rude to stare at him? "And since the punk didn't tell me what he wanted, surprise me."

"I'll pick the best flavors," you smiled as you grabbed a box and tongs.

"What's your favorite?" he asked curiously, folding his hands and resting his chin on top of them as you selected the cookies.

Your cheeks flamed when you realized he was watching you. You hoped you didn't drop anything. "Can't go wrong with chocolate chip. It's a classic. If I had to pick a favorite treat overall, I'd pick the caramel chocolate brownie. Simple, but full of flavor."

"I'll take one of those, too, please."

"Sure. You'll have to let me know what you think," you said, placing the best brownie from the batch in a smaller box.

"So, you're saying you want me to come back," he said with a half smile as he pushed himself off the display to follow you back to the register. "Is that it?"

Is he flirting with me? No, he couldn't be.

Your mom chastised you for ending things with your recent boyfriend. According to her, you should've appreciated that a charming, good-looking man wanted you all of all people. It hurt to hear that, but he turned out to be a jerk and you refused to settle for less than what you deserved.

You also wouldn't let negative thoughts cloud your safe space.

"I wouldn't mind," you giggled before you cleared your throat. Even if by some miracle he was hitting on you, you weren't supposed to flirt while you worked. "We like having repeat customers," you added.

"I'm sure you have plenty. It's a cute shop."

You looked for a hint of sarcasm on his face and found none. "Thanks," you said, holding your head a bit higher. The shop was your baby and you took pride in it, always doing your best to make it as bright and welcoming as you could. "And I really would like to know what you think. Always looking to improve if we can."

"It's a good thing I'm just across the street," he said as he got his wallet out. "I can sample the entire menu."

You began to ring him up when you paused. "You don't happen to work in the new tattoo shop, do you?"

Some of the other business owners on the block weren't too happy about a tattoo parlor opening up, afraid that it would attract a rougher crowd. You knew better than to judge a book by its cover. You also felt bad that you hadn't had a chance to go over to introduce yourself.

"Co-owner. What gave it away?" he asked, reminiscent of your deadpan delivery moments ago.

"Oh, just this feeling," you teased, wondering how many tattoos he had hidden under his clothes. You cut that thought off and stopped him when he took some cash out to pay. "On the house as a small welcome to the neighborhood."

He moved his hand over to the tip jar and dropped the money in. "Thanks," he gave you a half smile again as he glanced at the nametag on your bright apron and said your name.

It sounded like honey on his tongue.

"I'm Bucky, by the way. Nice to meet you," he said, taking the boxes.

"Nice to meet you, too," you smiled back, a wave of heat rolling down your chest at the thought of him coming back to see you. "Enjoy the treats."

"I'm sure they'll be as sweet as you, Sugar," he smirked.

You stood there, stunned, as he walked out of the shop. Thankfully it was a slow time of day and you had a moment to fan yourself once you remembered to breathe. You had half a mind to get a tattoo as an excuse to see him again.

"Who the hell was that?" Tess asked from behind you.

You jumped and clutched your chest, forgetting that she was in the shop. "My new crush," you answered without thinking.

"Obviously. I thought he was lost until he ordered something," she snickered as she nudged your shoulder. "You were giggling."

"Yeah. Well, I doubt he'll be back," you mumbled, going to the case to wipe it down.

"Oh, he'll be back. I saw how he looked at you," she said, moving her eyebrows up and down. "You're the sugar he wants to taste."

"Did you see how hot he is? He has plenty of 'sugar' out there and I'm," you waved your hand as you tried to think of a good comparison. "I don't know. I'm Splenda."

"Okay. First, that sounds like your mother talking, which is not allowed in here. Second, you're not Splenda. You're the whole bakery. No putting yourself down in our sanctuary," Tess said sternly. She liked to give you a hard time as your best friend, but she was serious when it came to your love life and self-esteem. "For real. You're a catch."

"Maybe he'll fall in love after he eats the brownie I gave him," you joked.

"That's the spirit," Tess said, graciously not calling you out on your deflection. "He'll be back."

You didn't want to get your hopes up over a stranger, but you did want to see him again.

You just didn't expect him to visit your shop again the very next day.

"So," he said when he went to the counter and set his hands on it, blocking out everything behind him. "About that brownie."

"Yeah?" you asked breathlessly, praying you looked halfway decent. "What did you think?"

"Best fucking brownie I've ever had," he grinned and rubbed his stomach. The praise rendered you speechless. "What else is good here?"

Me. I'm good.

You wished you said what was on your mind, but you gave him one of the leftover sample cakes instead.

It went on like that for over a week. Bucky would stop in and select a new dessert. On the slower days, he tried the treat at the counter and chatted with you. Tess messaged you on your day off to tell you how disappointed he looked when you weren't there. He bought two items when you saw him the next day.

The brownie was still his favorite.

So you decided to surprise him when he showed up at his usual time. The blue Henley made his eyes stand out more and the smile he gave you sent heat through your core. Your hand managed not to shake as you held up a plate for him. You couldn't help but want to impress him.

"Is that my brownie?" he asked when he went to greet you.

"With a twist. Caramel chocolate brownie, but I added chocolate fudge frosting," you replied, handing it to him. His fingers touched yours and you wished at that moment that the counter didn't separate the two of you. "I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will," he said, keeping his eyes on you as he brought the brownie to his mouth and took a bite. They slipped shut as he let out a deep moan. His head fell back briefly, too.

Your fingers twisted in your apron as you pressed your thighs together. Did he do that on purpose or was it that good? You didn't think your treats were worthy of pornographic sounds.

"Fucking delicious," he promised as he opened his eyes and took another bite. "It'll hurt my feelings if you don't add this to the menu."

"Thank you. I'm glad you like it," you said, wondering if the words sounded as breathless as you felt.

"I haven't tried a single thing here I didn't like, Sugar."

"Why do you keep calling me 'Sugar'?"

"'Cause you seem sweet, like these treats you make for everyone," Bucky stated as a matter of fact. "I can stop if you don't like it."

"Please, don't stop," you said. You liked hearing it from him.

He smirked as he licked a bit of frosting off his thumb, your mouth salivating at the sight. "Not how I expected to hear those words from you."

Blood rushed to your cheeks as your brain tried to process what he said. You could play it cool. Or play along. "Well, Hottie, if you're lucky, you might hear them in a different way."

Bucky's mouth shifted from a smirk to a full blown grin. "Hottie?"

You tried to summon the ground to swallow you up, but it didn't work.

"Well. Yeah. I mean, you call me Sugar, which makes you Spice. Spices can be hot and you're a hottie," you said with as much dignity as possible before you giggled. "Or I can just call you Bucky and we forget this entire conversation."

"I won't forget. My memory can be fuzzy at times, but I'll remember this conversation," he promised, tapping his temple. "And keep calling me that. I like it."

You leaned across the counter, trying to look as enticing as possible. At least, as much as you could in your work apron. He visited the shop multiple times now and he was definitely flirting with you now. You could make a move.

Don't be Splenda. Be the whole bakery.

"Bucky, would you want to-"

The door swung open before you could finish your question, your shoulders slumping in defeat. "There you are, Buck. Andy is actually smiling at someone. Hal's trying to get a picture. You gotta see this."

Bucky's nostrils flared as he closed his eyes. "Fucking punk."

He sounds as disappointed as I feel.

"Friend of yours?" you guessed.

"That's just Steve with his impeccable timing."

Bucky stepped aside so you could get a look at his friend. The man was just as large as your newfound crush, also covered in tattoos with long, blonde hair and a trimmed beard. And he was beaming at you.

"You must be Sugar. Buck mentioned you."

"Is that right?" you asked.

"Oh, yeah," Steve smiled. "Hasn't shut up about you."

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you gazed at the brunette. He didn't look ashamed or embarrassed as he stared back. You must have made some sort of good impression on him if he spoke to a friend about you.

"Are you working tomorrow?" he asked, ignoring his friend for the time being as he handed you his empty plate.

"Yeah. I'm opening the shop," you answered.

"If I'm not arrested for murdering my best friend, I'll come back and we can finish our conversation," he said as Steve frowned. You couldn't stop yourself from smiling. "If that's okay with you."

Who in their right mind would say "no"?

"More than okay. I'll see you tomorrow," you said, giving Steve a wave as Bucky stomped toward him. "Nice meeting you, Steve."

"You, too. Keep making those cookies! They're so good!" he chuckled as his friend chased him out of the shop.

"Oh, who the hell was that?!" Tess shouted from the back of the office.

"A friend with bad timing," you called back with a shake of your head.

"You were finally going to ask him out, weren't you?" she asked, poking her head out. "About time. Sick of hiding in the office so I don't have to watch you two flirt."

You scoffed when you caught her smiling. "You love being in the office. And tomorrow is a new day. I'll ask him."

"You better wear something pretty for your hottie."

She's never going to let me live that nickname down.

You weren't sure what you were going to wear tomorrow, but you knew you couldn't wait to open the shop and see Bucky again.

Hope you liked this sweet introduction and can't wait to share more of this Bucky and the other boys. Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

Lazy Mornings

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Summary: Bucky loves waking you up in the morning. Word Count: Over 600 Warnings: Explicit sexual content, oral (female receiving), Bucky is a giver. 18+ Please!!! This is not beta-read, so any and all mistakes are my own

I blame you for this @angrythingstarlight​. You know what you did and I love you for it. Gif by @violadvis​. Enjoy, lovelies!

Waking up beside Bucky was one of the best feelings in the world. It took time for him to get comfortable sleeping with someone else in his bed, but it wasn’t because he didn’t trust you. He didn’t trust himself with the nightmares. Hurting you was the last thing he wanted to do. You worked through it with him and now you couldn’t remember what it felt like not sleeping in his arms. You always felt safe and warm in his embrace. 

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