How This Derpy Guy Pull 2 Beauties Is Beyond Me

Life Series Winners as Ghosts AU:

Grian: The longest dead, died in a revolutionary war against a corrupted king. Stabbed in the chest. Overly critical of every other ghost in the house, self proclaimed leader.

Pearl: The daughter of a noblewoman who was married off to the man who owned the house. She was convinced that the two of them were in love until he strangled her in her sleep, just aiming to gain her inheritance.

Martyn: A pirate who used the house as a safehouse in between adventures, until he was found out and he was shot in the back of the head. Did try to usurp Grian as the leader of the ghost at one point, failed pathetically.

Joel: A nascar racer who retired in the house after years of continuous victorys brought him fame and fortune. Died when a rival put a bomb in one of his cars.

Cleo: A fitness instructor from the 80’s. Moved into the house with her two sons. Poisoned by her jealous ex husband to get back at them for leaving him.

Scar: Cleo’s son who returned to the house in the future to investigate the death of his mother all of those years ago. He’s driven mad by the investigation and he hangs himself, at least that’s what everyone seems to think.

Scott: The most recent tenant of the house. Bought it because the housing market is shit but Bdubs wanted to sell the house no matter what he got out of it because of all the bad memories it held. Tried renovating it and had the ceiling crash down on him.

Jimmy: The most recent tenant of the house. The ghosts are frantically trying to get him to leave because everyone who lives in the house seems to die. Jimmy however, doesn’t care what the ghosts say, because he just thinks he’s hallucinating.

one time i was in an olive garden bathroom and my packer fell out of my shorts and this ten year old boy just looked at me with absolute terror and without thinking i said "that's what happens when you don't eat your vegetables" later i saw him eating salad at a speed no human should be capable of

Falls in, i would love to hear about this decked out/failed cave exploration au pls pls pls already i am Bewitched

hehehe [in tango's voice] sighh i suppose...

really im very tempted to just let it sit and not tell anything, because it's so fun seeing people theorize and point out details in the notes. but yeah i guess i shouldn't gatekeep it, its a fun au!

i do want to state in the beginning that it was a one-off thing and i have no plans on continuing it or drawing more for it. if you do tho? feel free! (not asking for fanart by any means, but giving the green light if anyone was wondering)

well

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Pet crew were a group of cave explorers. They're no experts by any means but they were no amateurs either! (ignore the fact that they're not wearing any PPE, i didn't want to draw it, ok--) And recently they've been excited about mapping out a new cave system they found, completely unexplored according to their research.

Tango, always a big lover of his plans and spreadsheets, presumably decided to go in alone ahead of time to sketch out at least a rough draft for a map, so they had an idea of what they're going to be dealing with.

But see, this cave is not an ordinary cave, no matter how pristine and untouched it looked. It is one gigantic organism of unknown origin, and a hunrgy one at that, the air inside it is filled with little cells or spores that, when inhaled enough, start taking over the body and corroding it to the cave's will. Killing the host in the process.

So, obviously, after spending some time in the cave by himself, Tango did get some cells in him. Not enough to be noticeable, but enough to give him a headstart on the corruption when the group went in for a proper dive some days later.

The first symptoms of undergoing the change are pretty standard: light fever, weakness, dizziness — easy to mistake for a flu.

Which is exactly what Tango did. Of course, going caving with a flu is not a smart thing to do either, but the group has been planning this trip for so long, delaying it even more because someone was slightly under the weather would've been foolish!

The cave started off with a big drop, requiring a rope to be set up, and then sprawled into a system of tunnels. Tango and Pearl were very excited to find an entrance to some ancient tombs a couple of hours into the dive. There were stairs leading even deeper underground, which turned out to be an entrance to a bigger cave system, with a huge frozen lake in the middle and an entrance to abandoned mines.

Further symptoms include skin turning pale, graying hair, eyes starting to shift color to red. Previous symptoms remain and intensify.

Tango had always been pale, he had blond hair too, and in the dark it was hard to notice the white streaks in them. The pink cheeks were easily passed as a result of being in the cold. Pearl did express some concerns about Tango's well-being when he started to fall back a bit, but he dismissed it as just him getting tired. By that point Pearl seemed to also have some "frost" in her hair.

After the hair have fully turned white, the tips start to switch color to an unnatural blue. Skin eventually loses color completely, turning gray. Fever intensifies as body desperately tries to fight the infection.

At that point it was impossible to deny that something was wrong with Tango. There are no mirrors underground though, so to him it was just his flu getting out of hand. Guilty of hiding his illness, yes, but nothing critical. The blue hair however were not normal, and the other two were freaking out a bit more than Tango would've hoped for.

They had an argument.

Etho snapped and hit Tango to beat some sense into his stupid head.

By that point Pearl was clearly looking bad too, and Etho's own hair were apparently turning white. They were all feeling terrible, physically and mentally. They decided to head home.

As previously stated, the cave is in fact alive and can sense when something that belongs to it is trying to escape. In an effort to stop it, the whole cave system comes to life. Old animal carcasses rise and start walking, small screeching creatures begin patrolling the tombs, the ice melts and the cave blooms in dangerous ways.

When the crew exited the mines into the second level of the cave system, it was apparent that the way back would be a lot harder. By that point Tango was struggling to stand and Etho had to drop his equipment to carry him. But the fever and the dizziness were making it hard to move fast, the changed layout of the cave was difficult to navigate even with their map, and the way to the surface was still very and very long. It was obvious they couldn't make it out....

Unless they were willing to make some sacrifices.

Etho isn't proud of his decision, but leaving Tango was their only option! He and Pearl still had a chance to escape if they moved quickly, but Tango was just too far gone, he couldn't-- Etho couldn't carry him to the exit, he was getting too tired, and if they all stuck together it would get all three of them killed! Was it not better for at least two of them to survive instead of-

They had another argument.

Pearl stubbornly insisted on taking Tango, so Etho had to lie to her and say that they will come back once they scout out the way. Etho couldn't force himself to look at Tango though, if he did he would be met with this knowing look and he just couldn't bear it. Tango cried when they were leaving.

After the body succumbs to the fever it stays dead for a short period of time, while the rest of the changes set in.

It took a miracle for both Etho and Pearl to reach the tombs, but the hard part came after. Etho did everything in his power to convince Pearl to leave with him, he said they will come back later when they're better prepared, he said it was too late to help Tango, he said it was Tango's own fault, he said many bad things, none of which were enough to change Pearl's mind. She turned back and Etho didn't follow her.

He ran through the tombs and the caves alone, losing his eye to a monster he saw all too late. It was painful and it was disorienting, Etho doesn't even remember how he got to the initial drop they went down, he was panicking and only moving forward because of adrenaline and instinct. The ascend was a fever dream, Etho doesn't know how he didn't fall to his death then.

Through the rush of blood in his head, Etho heard the faint sound of Tango's voice. Too cheery for his feverish condition, and much, much closer, a lot closer than the place they left him to die in. He did not hear Pearl. The sound stopped when it was right under him, and he felt a light tug on the rope he was hanging of. And nothing else happened...

Etho emerged from the cave into the cold night, stumbling over his own feet, too tired to run. Their van was parked over by the entrance and Gem was already waiting for him. Him — shaking, bloody and alone.

...

The body reanimates again, now obedient to the cave's will. It is no longer alive but it is not dead either, frozen, stalking through the tunnels in a mindless haze.

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

here in pronoun civilization no one jumps for the neos

x

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

Started my period fourteen days late. I hate this sm.

mean gills + nosy neighbors = gossip squad

enkay watches the imp and skizz podcast ep 125

"skizz has got a pet name for everybody" weird way to phrase that impulse

✨mirroring body languageeeee✨ the besties

"and then I met Joe (of the Hills variety)" spoken like a true close mate

"joe had to stage a coup to get me on hermitcraft"

live reaction to THAT statement:

another deed to add to the damn PILE of good deeds that Joe has done for the server: the man invited Mumbo

"etho pokes and prods scar into saying things" the mans is a great behavioralist

i love cleo's personality. They're just such a strong personality and i love them for it

"you don't match their energy, you come back tenfold, and I LIKE THAT" yeah of course you do skizz

best fwens :3

cleo loving hanging out with kids is so funny to me because they love observing some of the weirdest hermits (scar, joe, skizz)

of course skizz loves listening to accents

WAHHHHHHH I MISS STRESS

best fwens :3

cleo loving hanging out with kids is so funny to me because she loves observing some of the weirdest hermits (scar, joe, skizz)

of course skizz loves listening to accents

WAHHHHHHH I MISS STRESS

Cleo's GASP when skizz described tango's DnD table

this was skizz's face when cleo described DnD, GET THIS MAN A FUCKING CHARACTER SHEET

i love cleo's optimism about their career ten years down the line. I love them sm

"and then i started living next to ren and false" based and true. scar too. great creatures to observe

"get in there and mess me up" okay, freak

"i'll bully you!" "YES" i love these two

"can't wait to be bullied" i love them

imp and skizz learning the basics of D&D via a series of increasingly standoffish DMs would be so fucking funny. Start off with the beginner friendly tango/jev combo and then level up to the cleo/joe level where they're just fighting them from all angles

final frame weirdos /aff