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i need other people to watch the parkciv christmas parody video where the only jewish character screams “MAZEL TOV” after every sentence , santa is an evil dictator who segregates elves and the main character goes on a quest to kill santa claus to get a date and does so via divine intervention from JESUS CHRIST

2/7 winners designs :3

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???

Secret Life if everyone had only one life

Most health losses remain the same as they were accidents: mobs, heights and generally being a little dumb.

Scott never stops Jimmy and Scar from talking as Jimmy has done severely better in this continuity never being out first, maybe he even joins in the conversation for a while before walking off.

With Third Life being completely different Scar never gives Grian the cactus monopoly as that has no significance. Perhaps he gives him sugarcane as Double Life has taken Third Lifes place as the birth of Scarian? Thinking about it Scarian would probably be referred by fandom as Bamboo duo or Panda Duo having been created in Double Life.

Session 1 remains basically the exact same for everything else mostly, same for most of session 2.

Martyn still goes to the Nether and is killed by the piglin, he is the first player out of the game.

Session 3 is where the changes start...

Joel doesn't reroll his task for a hard one as failing would basically mean being extremely close to being out, so he sticks with the deja vu task...which he likely fails as its a task that realistically I can't imagine someone being able to do at all without luck... This means he doesn't die failing the bucket clutch.

Jimmy still dies to the drowned and is out second, the big dogs never happen for obvious reasons. Gem still dies to an enderman while trying to do her task and is the third player out. Lizzie still dies to a skeleton on the water slide and is the fourth player out.

Martyn Isn't there to guess Tango's task so he likely succeeds, he gets 3 hearts and 7 items.

Grian's session 4 task is different as there are no yellows, the same is applied to all tasks that are based on the green-yellow-red life system from here on out, each of them has been slightly changed. In this case he simply needs to convince anyone that singing is his task, which he succeeds. This is easier as it allows for more people to be target but harder since It's harder to be sure you have fooled them without them calling you out as a yellow life...so it evens out. He still joins Cleo and Etho later.

Martyn is also not there to make Scar's life more miserable as he can't cause him to fail, Scar succeeds getting 6 hearts and 4 items.

Etho also never gets his task from Martyns suggestion so aHa Etho never happens.

The same that happened to Grian applies to Skizz, Skizz likely fails either way.

Lizzie is out so she also never makes the paths which means movement across the server is technically more difficult. Also Scotts task is likely failed without Lizzie.

Importantly, without Gem and with everyone having only one life they can't risk the dragon is likely never slain and Bdubs fails his hard task losing 10 hearts.

Without Gem there is also no tower off so no questionable mounder towers, Mumbo never climbs the now Gemless Scotts mountain to judge which is tallest and never falls to his death in the process.

BigB's task is different as stated before, so he probably doesn't betray the heart foundation. No trust issues this time around.

Tango and many others also never lose lifes because there are no red life tasks. Cleo race against Gem is also not a thing which means Cleos task is to simply get people to hand their doors.

Joel can't use Jimmy or Lizzie to target Scott (aka basically two of the few people willing to) so he likely fails his task.

Bdubs is still pushed in the zombie pit by Scar, Mumbo still falls in lava, Skizz still dies to something as his health is extremely low and BigB still dies while fighting the wither. They are fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth out respectively.

With only one life Grian likely doesn't run in front of the wither to press the button, he doesn't die yet... however he does likely have extremely low health so he probably dies against the wither anyway. He's the ninth player out. (Or eight if he dies before BigB)

Scott has the charisma to still complete his task without Gem, so he does. Scott also has 1 heart, he probably dies even without trading his life to Martyn.

Gem is already out of the game, there is no boogeyman/zombie apocalypse in session 7 so ... nobody dies, not even Tango who is never killed by BigB's dog as BigB is out and is later also not killed by the non existant zombie army.

There's also no Angel Jimmy as Grian is out of the game and can't get the task.

At this point in time there are 7 players left in the game: Pearl, Joel, Impulse, Cleo, Etho, Tango and Scar.

Everyone also has very little hearts each as there have been no respawns... Which means when that creeper explodes next to Pearl...she probably doesn't survive it, tenth player out, 6 to go... Knowing Joel erratic behavior gets worse without his teammates he's likely to accidentally kill himself sometimes soon... 5 left.

The last 5: Impulse, Tango, Cleo, Etho and Scar. I can see Impulse and Tango working together... Seeing the weird competition between Scar and Heart foundation I think Tango and Impulse target and kill Scar, 4 left...

Cleo does the nice vs naughty thing, I don't think she gets to kill anyone but I think someone kills them in response... Maybe dogs if she's accidentally punched... 3 left.

With Impulse working with Tango I think they work together to kill Etho putting him in third leaving those two to fight for the win as the finalists... I think Impulse has a higher chance to win...just slightly, the difference isn't that severe, but I think in this case Impulse wins.

The winner of secret life is Saturn.

(Third Life)

(Last Life)

(Double Life)

(Limited Life)

I'm really not a ship person (nothing against shipping its just not for me usually) but something about Scott rarepairs really intrigue me

Scott rarepairs are so awesome. That’s a man who cares so deeply about those he loves and never expects to be loved back with the same caliber.

The people who he’s commonly paired with are the same people he hangs out with a lot, so they’re more inclined to be aggressive with him when not allied with him. That’s their friend! Of course they’re gonna mess with him.

The people in Scott rarepairs usually don’t talk with Scott as often, but they know his kind of humor because most of them hang out with Cleo and Gem a lot. They also tend to know from the life series that Scott is not a force to be reckoned with. That means that they have a lot of respect for Scott AND a lot of affection for people like Scott.

Something that helps is that Scott is one of the friendliest people in that social circle. I believe that myself, but I say it aloud because so many other people in that social circle have stated such, which is absolutely a testament to how pleasant Scott is to people. People are SO quick to get comfortable around Scott. Tango, Etho, Grian, Bdubs, and Skizz don’t get to talk to Scott very often, and yet they’ve all had on camera moments where they expressed how cool or sweet they find Scott to be.

“Scott’s awesome. Scott’s awesome.” - Tango during his 2nd MCC, which was at Twitchcon, when Scott found him to check on him and encourage him.

“We all need to have people we can trust no matter what’s going on. Bdubs… Scott…” - Etho during Secret Life to Cleo

“Scott is the only person on this server who I trust right now.” - Grian during Third Life

“A birthday party? That sounds- that sounds like Scott or Jimmy- no that’s Scott. Scott’s a very empathetic person.” - Bdubs answering a trivia question this past episode of the Life Series

“Smajor was this other… guy on the life series, and, every time I passed him, he’s kinda nice, and then we talked more and he’s really nice, and now I admire him, and now I like him, and now I- I really like this guy!” - Skizz on the Imp & Skizz podcast describing how he didn’t want to make connections with people for their clout when he joined Third Life, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to Scott. This is also, coincidentally, how crushes tend to develop, Skizzleman.

Scott is a very earnest and caring person, even in the life series, a death game, where that’s not particularly rewarded 100% of the time. Everybody has so much respect for Scott, both because they know that he’s a lot like Cleo and Gem and they have a lot of love and respect for Cleo and Gem and because their personal experiences with Scott have made it clear how sweet and competent he is.

I love Smajor rarepairs, because I’m not into relationships where one person is pulling all of the weight. A lot of mainstream Smajor ships reduce Scott to his relationship and let the other person have their own things going on. There tends to be a lot of focus on the other person, like they’re Scott’s whole world. Rarepairs tend to have Scott’s partner(s) treat him with reverence, which forces Scott to confront his insecurities, how he feels like he needs to earn other people’s affection.

Tango is immune to flirting, but he’s very responsive to Scott’s teasing and eager to banter with him. He doesn’t talk to Scott a lot, but he clearly really likes Scott and how earnest Scott is.

Etho absolutely thinks that Scott is incredible. You can see it in literally every single interaction they have. Etho and Scott probably talk the least out of everyone I mentioned, but I think Etho pays the most attention to Scott and has simply become endeared to him because he sees so much of Cleo and Gem in Scott.

Grian ALWAYS has a compliment for Scott. When he first met Scott, he didn’t trust Scott because “no one’s that happy”. When he learned that Scott’s just like that? Instantly loved Scott. How could you reject someone who’s clearly so happy just to spend time with you? He loves to tease Scott. I think he sees Scott as someone he can properly match wits with, what with how they both love to make short little games and are usually chaotic until they’re the least chaotic in a group and immediately become the responsible one.

Bdubs is terrified of Scott. There’s no other way to put it. Bdubs is more afraid of Scott than he is of Cleo and Gem. He commented during the fourth episode of Wild Life on how Scott is a really hard target. There was fear in his voice. He later tried to convince Tango not to go after him. He really didn’t want to upset Scott. He’s so traumatized after that game of tag. HOWEVER. Bdubs knows that Scott is a man of reason. Bdubs isn’t usually worried about attacking groups that his group is on neutral grounds with, because he knows that they’ll eventually attack him first if he doesn’t beat them to the punch. That’s how this game works. Scott doesn’t do that, and Bdubs has taken note of that and trusts that. Bdubs trusts Scott not to attack him without a reason.

Skizz? I could go on for HOURS about Skizz. Skizz has literally admitted to subconsciously treating Scott like he’s Impulse, who Skizz loves to death, who Skizz trusts when he can’t call anyone else, who Skizz kisses on the temple when they haven’t seen each other for a while. Skizz is a very kind person, but, in game, he’s not the most levelheaded person. Scott is both kind AND levelheaded, which Skizz has a lot of respect for. Scott doesn’t even have a temper to lose when it comes to verbal conversation. Hurt him or his friends and he’ll make you wish you hadn’t, sure, but words will never hurt him. I think Skizz honestly sees a lot of Impulse in Scott, whereas most people see Cleo. People compare Cleo to Scott, because they’re both petty and witty. Skizz compares Impulse to Scott because they’re both petty and survivalists. Skizz has commented many a time on how Scott is so much better than Skizz at PVP and how impressed he is that Scott can evade the entire server when they’re hunting him. Apparently, Skizz (and Impulse) thinks that Scott gives the BEST hugs. Apparently, Scott is the only person whose hugs make Skizz feel like he could fall asleep right then and there.

Another thing I’ve noticed about my favorite Smajor rarepairs is that they all love to make Scott laugh. When Tango teases Scott, it’s never about anything serious. It’s always to make Scott giggle. When he’s around Scott, Etho LOVES to do and say things that would make Cleo or Gem laugh, and they work on Scott too. It’s the “wet cat” behavior he emphasizes when he’s with Cleo and Gem, because he knows that it makes them laugh. Scott has never poked fun at Etho for being “washed up” or “a wet cat”, but he does laugh when Etho emphasizes the “lost puppy” behavior. Outside of the life series, Grian isn’t particularly interested in making Scott laugh, but he does like to impress Scott. When Grian knows Scott’s watching, he really challenges himself. I think it’s because he, himself, is very impressed with Scott. Bdubs absolutely loves to make Scott laugh. You can see it in Scott’s escape room videos. He says so many silly things just to get a reaction out of Scott. You CANNOT tell me that “Bdubs, there’s something in this room that will allow you to swim up lava” “the bed” “no, think something you can drink” “the lava” was genuine. I’m completely sure that Bdubs knew Scott meant that there was a hidden fire res potion but just wanted to be silly. Skizz LOVES Scott’s laugh. He’s said it before. Skizz loves to make Scott laugh so much. He loves hearing Scott’s laugh. It’s so giddy and full and joyous.

Maybe I’m projecting a little bit. As a lesbian, you can’t believe how grateful I am that the only traits my mother has ever asked me to find in a partner is 1) someone you can trust and 2) someone who makes you laugh. She doesn’t ask for my partner to be rich or cisgender or a man or conventionally attractive or of a certain race or religion. That’s kind of what makes me love Smajor rarepairs so much. They respect and trust Scott, and they love to make him laugh.

enkay watches the imp and skizz podcast ep 125

"skizz has got a pet name for everybody" weird way to phrase that impulse

✨mirroring body languageeeee✨ the besties

"and then I met Joe (of the Hills variety)" spoken like a true close mate

"joe had to stage a coup to get me on hermitcraft"

live reaction to THAT statement:

another deed to add to the damn PILE of good deeds that Joe has done for the server: the man invited Mumbo

"etho pokes and prods scar into saying things" the mans is a great behavioralist

i love cleo's personality. They're just such a strong personality and i love them for it

"you don't match their energy, you come back tenfold, and I LIKE THAT" yeah of course you do skizz

best fwens :3

cleo loving hanging out with kids is so funny to me because they love observing some of the weirdest hermits (scar, joe, skizz)

of course skizz loves listening to accents

WAHHHHHHH I MISS STRESS

best fwens :3

cleo loving hanging out with kids is so funny to me because she loves observing some of the weirdest hermits (scar, joe, skizz)

of course skizz loves listening to accents

WAHHHHHHH I MISS STRESS

Cleo's GASP when skizz described tango's DnD table

this was skizz's face when cleo described DnD, GET THIS MAN A FUCKING CHARACTER SHEET

i love cleo's optimism about their career ten years down the line. I love them sm

"and then i started living next to ren and false" based and true. scar too. great creatures to observe

"get in there and mess me up" okay, freak

"i'll bully you!" "YES" i love these two

"can't wait to be bullied" i love them

imp and skizz learning the basics of D&D via a series of increasingly standoffish DMs would be so fucking funny. Start off with the beginner friendly tango/jev combo and then level up to the cleo/joe level where they're just fighting them from all angles

final frame weirdos /aff

reminders for today:

if you or someone you know might need it in the next few years, purchase plan b. the shelf life of plan b is 4 years, and we might not be able to access it as easily as we can now in the days ahead.

if you are larger/plus size: go online and purchase ella instead of plan b. plan b is less effective if you aren’t under 160 pounds.

if you can, purchase books that project 2025 is looking to ban.

mass deportations are starting. if you see ice vehicles or agents, yell ice raid and la migra as loud as you can.

if someone asks who you voted for, keep your mouth shut. they’re fishing for traitors.

if anyone, anyone at all asks about your neighbors or their legal status in the us, you know nothing. don’t be the reason that their family is separated.

if anyone asks about your religion or lack thereof, keep it vague. this administration will look for any excuse to persecute you.

your friends are trans or queer? for the next four years they’re not. don’t expose anyone’s status as a trans or queer person to anyone else, even if you think you can trust them.

did someone you know get an abortion? no, they didn’t. they were never pregnant.

in short, don’t be a snitch, and keep to yourself these next four years. we’ll make it through this even if it seems hopeless at times.

we can survive this. we’ve survived before, and we’ll survive again.

is this anything

Joel making an ad for travel to the esmp 1 ocean empire on HC season 10 means that in the timeline HC10 and Esmp 1 happen:

In the same universe

at the same time.

Since Esmp 2 is set 1000 years after esmp 1 this of course means that during the crossover the rift didn't connect two different universes but two version of the same universe but at different times and that esmp 2 happens 1000 years after Hermitcraft.

I do what I want.

Itchy veins.