So, I Feel Like I’m Losing My Mind. I Keep Seeing Metas About How Aziraphale Wants Crowley To Return

So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.

Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.

Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.

Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.

Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.

He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.

He’s doing the right thing.

Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.

And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.

But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.

It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.

It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.

God was wrong to cast out Crowley.

Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.

Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).

Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.

Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.

More Posts from Tsuyushuu and Others

tsuyushuu

9 years ago

Well that explains it :v

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tsuyushuu

3 months ago

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

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tsuyushuu

3 months ago

Itafushi writers making Megumi the gold smart class president and Yuji the troublemaker meanwhile it’s the other way around

Megumi was legit fighting bitches on the playground and insulting people meanwhile Yuji was joining clubs to keep it from closing, bringing flowers for his grandpa.

Like yall come on. Megumi was a smart but a delinquent for real he just hides it well and Yuji is just a slow golden child.

The dynamics of them is always reversed in fanfics and it likes breaks my heart cause it’s just ughh how did the fandom just like mess up their characterizations that badly.

And yes I’m writing it myself before someone comes at me for complaining, and even if I wasn’t I can still vent.

Tags

jjk itafushi fushiguro megumi itadori yuuji jujutsu kaisen I KNOW RIGHT?? if you insist on making yuuji the delinquent then make BOTH of them delinquents the thing when they met is that the high school versions of themselves are quite chill but *middle school* itafushi has reputations™ let them meet via a fight and let them be menaces together and just because yuuji is capable of abject physical violence doesn’t mean that he IS violent or that he likes to be he is not the type to punch first talk later if anything the one who is more likely to start a fist fight is megumi megumi canonically beat up some dudes and then told them to figure out themselves why he beat them up 💀 and that is what i appreciate about itafushi they turn the smart uwu boy x airhead delinquent jock trope over its head so spectacularly it needs to be studied by literary scholars

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tsuyushuu

6 years ago

Pepperony is the best fight me

Make Me Choose - Ironhusbands Or Pepperony

make me choose - ironhusbands or pepperony

from @mag-and-mac

“When I drift off, I will dream about you. Its always you.”

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tsuyushuu

1 month ago

spidet, perched on a roof: if you shoot that guy im eating charlie dinners for a whole week. dp, pointing a gun at a criminals head: come ON, he SUCKS. criminal: charlie dinners? spidey, kicking a leg in the air: if you kill him im switching back to one of those 3-in-1 shampoo conditioner body washes. dp: NOOOOOO

spidey weirdly jumping across the frame: if you injure him i will block you on tiktok. dp: wAAAAAH criminal: i think you two spend too much time together

how to train your mercenary

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tsuyushuu

4 months ago

and you keep reblogging me. instigation goes both ways.

i said, "let's have a discussion", in good faith.

you asked a question. i answered, in good faith.

then you miscontrued and misinterpreted what i said to make it seem like i agree with you, which i fucking don't. you broke the fucking good faith, and here i was thinking that maybe this might turn into something fruitful. just save me the trouble and tell me from the start that you are a fucking brat who can't take no for a fucking answer ever.

first of all, this post has never been about "ending the circle of violence" or whatever the fuck that shit show of an ending was trying to say. it's an irrelevant point to make that came out of nowhere. do you have a habit of stringing along every thought you have in your head and try to make it fit your narrative or did you never get the chance to learn critical thinking?

secondly, you are assuming that if i'm critical of the show i can't ever agree on any of its message. you assume that just because i don't agree with certain character arcs it means i have to be disagreeable to every single fucking thing said in the show. so basically i can't like something and be critical of it at the same time? so media literacy is dead now? say that again three times in your head, do you not find it fucking ridiculous?

and now, at this point of the conversation, you decide to throw in the "nuanced character" argument and accuse me of being performative, while this fucking conversation has never been about characters to begin with?

and whether or not i agree with how the show ends doesn't invalidate any of the things i just said, and if you can't grow a fucking brain cell big enough to comprehend that, then we're done here.

^^^———

It is WILD that you say “selling drugs and engaging in gang turf war does not make you not a citizen” as if that changes the fact that they’re still CRIMES.

I mean, if your logic is that Zaun is technically part of Piltover and thus falls under Piltover’s jurisdiction… committing a CRIME under their jurisdiction means you can suffer consequences from your actions. No? It doesn’t MATTER if you’re a citizen or not. Being a citizen doesn’t give you free rein to do whatever you want! You have to obey laws!

If I’m a citizen of a city in America, and I do a crime, the police of that city are allowed to take away my rights as a citizen. That’s what being a citizen in a functional society MEANS!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU WEIRD ASS MOTHER FUCKERS????

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tsuyushuu

4 months ago

Kudos to fanfiction writers for writing about all the trauma and emotional and mental turmoil that the original content creators dont acknowledge when putting characters through hell

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tsuyushuu

3 months ago