When Writing Couples, I Like To Use The Kiss Rule:

What is a nice guy? 

 I have met many, or so I was told. They sat across from me on first dates, deeply sniffing a wine and commenting on the forenotes of fruitiness before asking if I “read much?” They tell stories about their love of Kafka; pausing only to look at me with this sad little knowing smile. To a child, they tell me much about the books I have already read. They explain words I learned and used well before them. When I try to interupt, to explain that, yes, I read, and as a matter of fact Kafka is right next to Dante on my bedside, I am talked down. Talked over. 

 The nice men don’t understand why being nice isn’t working. Women, I guess, are strange creatures to them. When we are approached on the subway and told we are pretty; when we only flash quiet tight smiles, it is an affront. They were only trying to be nice, it’s not their fault that our bodies are ships that others want to pirate. We should know by the smell of your rose lips that nice men - they exist. It is my fault for being so goddamn difficult. Nice men decide for me it is their duty to inform me of my physical accommodation to their pleasure. That compliments have never come as knives, a cage to suffocate the bird in. That because they used “pretty” and not “hot,” We should be sure that we are safe, that nice men only want us to hear what’s best for us. We’ll miss it when we’re older. Nice men are doing us a favor, until we don’t smile for them. Then they are nice men telling us we are bitches, sluts. 

 The nice men are only trying to help. Women won’t take it, because we are all dumb wild animals bumping our blind eyes against “jerks” who don’t know what we really need. We don’t even know what we really need. What we need is a nice guy, and the nice men are there for that; to force her into situations where she stands to lose a close friend again because he couldn’t stop seeing her as a sex object. She doesn’t know it, but she needs him. Nice men tell me a lot about myself; without my mouth ever opening. Nice men tell me I’m too stupid for my own good and need to be explained every little thing, that I don’t know if I’m worthy until I cause attraction, that I can’t even make my own sexual decisions. 

 Nice men, I am told, are not like other men. Nice men sometimes even call themselves feminists and then write poems about how hard it is to be a male feminist. Nice men are artists with their dark disney princesses, are pleasantly amused by the efforts of queer girls, offer shading advice to someone with headphones in. Nice men tell you while you’re buying roof tiles to go get your boyfriend. Nice men don’t understand why we flinch when the label “nice guy” explodes in our faces. 

 We are silent in all of this, an active object that they fondle with their meaty mitts. They assume our little chickadee brains can’t conquer poetry. They teach without being asked for a lesson. They insert their opinion. They know better than we do, about our bodies, about what is best for us. We are a curious thing to them, that does not bend, that talks back on other frequencies, says silly girly things like “I read,” “Of course I knew that,” “I saved a life once,” “I don’t feel comfortable with a strange man approaching me,” “I am able of knowing who I should be dating,” “I am a human and I have my own life, am not hive mind, have my own experiences and values and feelings and you should stop assuming things about me.“ 

 Who told the nice men they are nice? What did they do to deserve that label? Was it be a decent person to that poor underclass of women? Did you deign to find them human? What does a nice man do that is nice besides tell me he is nice? What do the nice guys do? Did they ask us if we felt comfortable with the type of nice they offer? Did they ask us how to be nice or did they just all talk in one big group until some rules appeared, some “nice guy” guide. Is there a ceremony where nice girls and nice guys all sit around while the nice men sip wine and talk about how nice it is to be nice, did you know they once held a door and didn’t spit on her? The whole time us silly girls with our silly wildflower wilting hearts, we melt as these nice men glisten. 

Maybe the reason they think they are nice men is because they don’t ever stop to listen.

au where aria knew ezra was stalking her

Yeah, same.

I just want you all to know, that if and when this site does experience a real exodus and/or get sunsetted for good, even if we don't keep in touch I'll remember you so fondly. You're the online equivalent of the other kid on the beach where we built sandcastles together; the girl at the campsite where we explored the trees. You're the man next to me on the train who chatted cheerfully to pass the time when we got delayed. You're the drunk person who shared kind words in the bathroom at the club, you're the talented artists at the life drawing class or the poetry night in a city where I don't live anymore. It makes me sad that maybe in the future our paths won't cross so easily, but even when we leave this little shared piece of cyberspace, carried away on our briefly intersecting trajectories, just know I still love you

I wasn't talking about getting love. I'm saying that if you ask the gods for things like wealth, health, love, and wisdom; you should give something just as equally valuable. Now a days milk and honey doesn't really count as sacrifice like back in the days. Back then jt was the source of people's livelihood. Now we give it just as a little gift. I think that if we are to ask something from the gods it should be something out of our comfort zone, a real sacrifice to modern age humans.

1.) You don’t have the guts to talk about this without the Anon filter, so I’m not totally convinced you’re not trolling me

2.) We don’t live in the Dark Ages anymore, we don’t do human or animal sacrifice. We don’t dismember ourselves. Anybody advocating these things is dangerous.

3.) If you feel like you need to give your god $500 and a new car in order for it to be valid or whatever, don’t let me stop you.

I’m gonna be over here with all my fingers and toes thanks.

to 134 more years of the never-ending cycle of first meetings and comfortable domesticity

to holmes and watson, in all their forms

I like to have white or ambient noise playing while I study, so I thought I’d share a list of my favourite websites in case anyone else was interested.

Rainymood - Allows you to play rain, with suggestions of ambient music to play at the same time. Has an iOS and Android app, my personal favourite.

Calm - A visually beautiful website. Provides moving backgrounds and an option for guided calm which allows you to immerse yourself in the music and to relax. Has a free app for iPhone. Another one of my favourites.

Showertime - The experience of taking a shower without the water. Allows you to control features such as length of shower, size of room, water pressure, etc.

Coffitivity - The background noise of a coffee shop. Allows you to choose between different locations such as lunchtime lounge, morning murmur  etc. Has an app for iOS and Android as well as a desktop app for OS X.

Soundrown - A website with a sleek minimalist design, allows you to choose between rain, coffee shop, ocean, fire, bird noises, or a combination of the five.

Relaxing Snow - Visually beautiful falling snow, the website gives you the opinion to play music with the scenery, or to choose your own.

Raining.Fm - This website gives you the ability to adjust the rain to exactly how you’d like it, with options to tweak thunder, rain and storm noises. Has an app for iOS and Android, as well as a timer and snooze option.

Rain For Me - Simple rain effects with the option to download the audio files for offline listening.

Snowy Mood - Inspired by Rainy Mood, this website really makes you feel like it’s winter. Perfect for playing while snuggled up in a warm bed.

Rainy Cafe - Combines the sounds of a bustling cafe setting with the sounds of drizzling rain. Allows you to select the volume of each setting, or turn one off completely.

Interacting with Medieval Iceland

Just made a new Instagram account for the Hall (@Fjorn_the_Skald over there). I know it’s not the best digital map of Iceland around, but here’s the first post, which promotes my interactive map of medieval Iceland for a general audience.

It needs a lot of work, so if anyone has suggestions for improvements, please do let me know! I haven’t had much time to work on it, with the chaos of my Master’s program and all, but I hope to improve it soon!

Lol 😂