Fairy Tales Are More Than Moral Lessons And Time Capsules For Cultural Commentary; They Are Natural Law.

Reblog if you have read fan fiction better than some published books

Help me prove a point

A few of you asked me for historical fiction recommendations, so here they finally are! This is one of my favorite genres and these are some of my absolute favorites! 

Previous Recommendations:

Mythological Retelling 

Mythological Retelling (2)

Fantasy

Contemporary

Urban Fantasy

High Fantasy

The Baby Is Fine

For sale baby shoes never worn. Oh he's not dead or anything he's just massive and they don't fit

For sale baby shoes never worn. They're Gucci, my sister got them for me and I'm not putting $600 shoes on a newborn Why the hell would anyone buy these? She's an idiot.

For sale baby shoes never worn. At least I don't think so. I found them in the eggs at the grocery store and they look pretty clean $20 obo

For sale baby shoes never worn. She doesn't have any feet but it's hardly slowing her down, honestly. I guess you can't miss what you never had.

For sale baby shoes never worn. Bought them and forgot about them for like six months, never even took them out of the box and now they're way too small. My brain is fried.

For sale baby shoes never worn. Fair warning though, they've got fucking minions on them.

For sale They were a gift from my great aunt and I don't want anything from that wretched harpy.

baby shoes I thought I could put them on my dog so he doesn't slip all over the kitchen floor but yeah it didn't work

never worn. I don't know. They're just ugly. Do I need a reason?

My Personality

Zodiac Sign: Aries | Taurus | Gemini | Cancer | Leo | Virgo | Libra | Scorpio | Sagittarius | Capricorn | Aquarius | Pisces |

Chinese Zodiac Sign: Rat | Ox | Tiger | Rabbit | Dragon | Snake | Horse | Goat | Monkey | Rooster | Dog | Pig |

Celtic Zodiac [x] : Birch (the Achiever), Rowan (the Thinker), Ash (the Enchanter), Alder (the Trailblazer), Willow (the Observer), Hawthorne (the Illusionist), Oak (the Stabilizer), Holly (the Ruler), Hazel (the Knower), Vine (the Equalizer), Ivy (the Survivor), Reed (the Inquisitor), Elder (The Seeker)

Alignment: Lawful Good, tie between Neutral Good and Chaotic Good, True Neutral, Lawful Neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil, Chaotic Evil

Myers-Briggs: ESFP | ISFP | ESTP | ISTP | ESTJ | ISTJ (barely not ISFJ though) | ESFJ | ISFJ | ENFJ | INFJ | ENFP | INFP | ENTP | INTP | ENTJ | INTJ |

Four Temperaments: Sanguine | Melancholic | Choleric | Phlegmatic

Enneagram: The Reformer (Type 1) | The Helper (Type 2) | The Achiever (Type 3) | The Individualist (Type 4) | The Thinker (Type 5) | The Loyalist (Type 6) | The Enthusiast (Type 7) | The Leader (Type 8) | The Peacemaker (Type 9) |

8w9 6w7 4w5

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor | Hufflepuff (secondary Slytherin though) | Ravenclaw | Slytherin |

Ilvermorny House: Thunderbird | Horned Serpent | Pukwudgie | Wampus |

Soul Type (one test): Hunter | Caregiver | Creator | Thinker | Helper | Educator | Performer | Leader | Spiritualist |

Archetypes: Creator | Athlete/Hero | Rebel | Caregiver | Magician/Innovator | Royal/Ruler | Performer/Jester | Innocent | Orphan/Everyman | Explorer | Lover | Sage |

Brain Lateralisation Test: Left | Right | - 50/50.

Cerebral Personality Test: 1-10% | 11-20% | 21-30% | 31-40% | 41-50% | 51-60% | 61-70% | 71-80% | 81-90% | 91-100% |

Multiple Intelligences Test: Kinaesthetic | Linguistic (Top 1) | Logical | Interpersonal | Intrapersonal (Top 3) | Musical (Top 2) | Visual/Spatial | Naturalistic |

My Personality

There's something magical about old pictures of stars

Andromeda Galaxy, 1925 Around The Pleiades, 1932 Cygnus Wall, 1910 North America Nebula, c. 1920

What is a nice guy? 

 I have met many, or so I was told. They sat across from me on first dates, deeply sniffing a wine and commenting on the forenotes of fruitiness before asking if I “read much?” They tell stories about their love of Kafka; pausing only to look at me with this sad little knowing smile. To a child, they tell me much about the books I have already read. They explain words I learned and used well before them. When I try to interupt, to explain that, yes, I read, and as a matter of fact Kafka is right next to Dante on my bedside, I am talked down. Talked over. 

 The nice men don’t understand why being nice isn’t working. Women, I guess, are strange creatures to them. When we are approached on the subway and told we are pretty; when we only flash quiet tight smiles, it is an affront. They were only trying to be nice, it’s not their fault that our bodies are ships that others want to pirate. We should know by the smell of your rose lips that nice men - they exist. It is my fault for being so goddamn difficult. Nice men decide for me it is their duty to inform me of my physical accommodation to their pleasure. That compliments have never come as knives, a cage to suffocate the bird in. That because they used “pretty” and not “hot,” We should be sure that we are safe, that nice men only want us to hear what’s best for us. We’ll miss it when we’re older. Nice men are doing us a favor, until we don’t smile for them. Then they are nice men telling us we are bitches, sluts. 

 The nice men are only trying to help. Women won’t take it, because we are all dumb wild animals bumping our blind eyes against “jerks” who don’t know what we really need. We don’t even know what we really need. What we need is a nice guy, and the nice men are there for that; to force her into situations where she stands to lose a close friend again because he couldn’t stop seeing her as a sex object. She doesn’t know it, but she needs him. Nice men tell me a lot about myself; without my mouth ever opening. Nice men tell me I’m too stupid for my own good and need to be explained every little thing, that I don’t know if I’m worthy until I cause attraction, that I can’t even make my own sexual decisions. 

 Nice men, I am told, are not like other men. Nice men sometimes even call themselves feminists and then write poems about how hard it is to be a male feminist. Nice men are artists with their dark disney princesses, are pleasantly amused by the efforts of queer girls, offer shading advice to someone with headphones in. Nice men tell you while you’re buying roof tiles to go get your boyfriend. Nice men don’t understand why we flinch when the label “nice guy” explodes in our faces. 

 We are silent in all of this, an active object that they fondle with their meaty mitts. They assume our little chickadee brains can’t conquer poetry. They teach without being asked for a lesson. They insert their opinion. They know better than we do, about our bodies, about what is best for us. We are a curious thing to them, that does not bend, that talks back on other frequencies, says silly girly things like “I read,” “Of course I knew that,” “I saved a life once,” “I don’t feel comfortable with a strange man approaching me,” “I am able of knowing who I should be dating,” “I am a human and I have my own life, am not hive mind, have my own experiences and values and feelings and you should stop assuming things about me.“ 

 Who told the nice men they are nice? What did they do to deserve that label? Was it be a decent person to that poor underclass of women? Did you deign to find them human? What does a nice man do that is nice besides tell me he is nice? What do the nice guys do? Did they ask us if we felt comfortable with the type of nice they offer? Did they ask us how to be nice or did they just all talk in one big group until some rules appeared, some “nice guy” guide. Is there a ceremony where nice girls and nice guys all sit around while the nice men sip wine and talk about how nice it is to be nice, did you know they once held a door and didn’t spit on her? The whole time us silly girls with our silly wildflower wilting hearts, we melt as these nice men glisten. 

Maybe the reason they think they are nice men is because they don’t ever stop to listen.

Favorite writing trope

Adding “as you do” after describing something that nobody does.

“So he went to hell to pick up his dead wife’s soul, as you do.”

“So she climbed up the tower with her robot hands, as you do.”

This song gives me a lot of Manannan feels.

Swallowed by a vicious vengeful sea oh ooh oh-oh Darker days are raining over me oh ooh oh-oh In the deepest depths I lost myself oh ooh oh-oh I see myself through someone else