Wearing A Collar And Your SO's Hoodie And Maybe A Skirt, But Nothing Else, Is Peak Fashion

don’t you know it’s not good for your hair to wash it every day. you have to use sulfate and paraben free shampoo. you have to wash your hair with conditioner instead. you should stop washing your hair for a month because actually your scalp has the natural ability to maintain itself. greasy hair can make your acne worse so make sure you wash it every day. you have to use this three step regiment on your face EVERY SINGLE night. buy this $70 serum and use it with the 10 other serums you have but don’t combine them. don’t use anything on your face except a gentle cleanser and moisturizer. do NOT use moisturizer on your face you are DESTROYING your skins natural moisture barrier! acne is just for teenagers you’ll grow out of it :) oh no but adult acne is sooooo common. just take birth control and your acne will go away. cut out all sugar and dairy and your acne will go away. actually those studies are fake, get light therapy treatments instead. take accutane and your acne will go away, only a couple of those kids killed themselves! shave your armpits because it looks better. if you shave your armpits you’re not a feminist. actually shaving your armpits is for HYGIENE. wax your legs. wax your bikini line. but waxing any part of your body can give you ugly ingrown hairs and permanently damage your skin and follicles and besides that’s the patriarchy. (but get laser hair removal instead.) don’t have an eating disorder because that’s too much but definitely do intermittent fasting. don’t eat carbs. don’t eat sugar. don’t eat fat. actually your brain uses carbs as its main energy source. actually fat is necessary but only good fat. you have to DRINK MORE WATER!!! drinking 8 glasses of water per day is a myth. burn fat and get toned by doing these exercises. but cellulite is natural and 99% of women have it so you HAVE to embrace it. take diet pills. ummm don’t you know those are meth?? take NATURAL diet supplements for weight loss. take THESE vitamins to cure your depression and clear your skin and make you better at sex and make your vision better and speed up your metabolism and make your digestion better and make you focus better. i know the ONLY right answer but you have to pay me for it. follow my blog! listen to my podcast! subscribe to my email newsletter! buy my snake oil!!

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what if you go to the doctor w/ your dom, bc you just ache down there so much that it can’t be normal. and awkwardly you stutter this out to the doctor as your dom sits in silence in the examination room, a mild look of amusement in their eyes.

and the doctor opens their mouth and asks, “how long has it been since you’ve orgasmed?”

“w-what?” you stutter out, already feeling the tips of your ears burn with humiliation.

the doctor’s eyes flick to the collar around your neck, to the confident stance of your dom. “how long has it been since you’ve let them cum?” the doctor asks casually.

your dom is entirely unfazed. “months,” they reply casually “but i edge them a few times a week.”

your thighs brush together, seeking sensation just thinking about it. the doctor tsks and places a hand on your inner thigh and spreads your legs. again, you burn red and your dom shoots a casual glance towards you.

“your sub needs an orgasm,” the doctor states professionally, snapping gloves on and spreading your thighs. “may I?” they ask your dom instead of you. your dom nods.

“this is highly professional,” the doctor tells you. “there’s nothing wrong with me touching you like this. this is all business,” they coo, slipping their fingers into you.

they make a pouty face, mocking you. “you trust me, don’t you?”

you nod, almost lost in the haze of horniness and subspace.

“I would never do anything to hurt you, you know this!” they tell you in a patronizing tone. all you do is spread your thighs wider. and then they laugh. “god, you’re already horny. what a little slut,” they mock.

desperate and sensitive, you buck your hips into their palm with a whine.

your dom tsks. “slap them. they can’t move their hips.”

you feel the rubber gloves of the doctors other hand squeezing your face, peering at you curiously, tilting your chin from side to side, tugging at your mouth. the warmth of their fingers leaves your face as they drop their hand, then bring it up again to slap you. hard. but you stay silent.

“awww, they liked it,” the doctor hums, returning to their place between your legs.

“so tell me,” the doctor states, casually, continuing to stroke you, “what did the patient do that was so bad that they couldn’t cum for months?”

you whine, embarrassed that they’re talking about you like you’re not there.

“they masturbated and then lied to me about it,” your dom hums. “but I suppose their punishment is over,” they shrug, watching with a glint in their eye as the doctor finger-fucks you.

“what a good little toy,” the doctor smiles wickedly at you, wrinkling their nose. “I’ve got to get myself one of these.” they add another finger, and you yowl - it feels like they’re stretching you out. fuck, you think to yourself.

“I-I’m gonna cum,” you sob out, digging your fingers into the examination table. you glance at your dom for permission, and they nod, so you fall apart with a desperate scream.

the doctor snaps off their gloves with a small smile, and leaves you there on the table - spread out and panting, still dripping, makeup running down your face with tears.

“I’ll leave you two alone for a while - in case there’s anything else you want to check up on,” the doctor winks at your dom before walking out.

We should treat every young man who wants to buy a gun like every woman who wants to get an abortion - mandatory 48 hour waiting period, parental permission, a note from his doctor proving he understands what he's about to do, a video he has to watch about the effects of gun violence, and a mandatory invasive ultrasound procedure. Let's close down all but one gun shop in every state and make him travel hundreds of miles, take time off work, and stay overnight in a strange town to get a gun. Make him walk through a gauntlet of people holding photos of loved ones who were shot to death, with people shouting at him that he's a murderer, begging him not to buy a gun.

It make more sense to do this with young men and guns than with women and healthcare, right? I mean, no woman getting an abortion has killed a room full of people in seconds.

being pinned down and commanded to struggle/try to break free for their amusement is 🥴

dumb things that are weirdly hot:

- someone leaning over and buckling my seatbelt

- tying my shoe for me (especially if you pat it afterwards??)

- zipping up my jacket

- making me hold ur hand before crossing the street

- handing me my water bottle to make me drink it

- slightly condescending nicknames

- moving me by my belt loops/waist

- “why don’t you be a good girl and *instructions*?”

- brushing my hair out of my face

- opening my drinks for me

- lifting my chin to make me look you in the eye

When doms hit you with that “aww, you poor thing” in that mocking, fake sympathy voice

How about you sit on dads cock while he forces you to watch icky videos and let's see just how long it takes for you to start bouncing kiddo...

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