I Realized Growing Up Alone Caused Me To Never Give Other People Any Roles In My Life. I Don’t Allow

I realized growing up alone caused me to never give other people any roles in my life. I don’t allow myself to need anyone, because I still know how bad it hurt to need my parents, and how badly I was punished for it. Needing people is scary. I get attached to things instead. When I was a kid, some of my clothes had actual names. I had a favourite pillow, favourite blanket, favourite pajama. I was attached to every poster on my wall, and some of my things felt like extensions of me, if someone hurt them, it felt equal to hurting me. I gave things a role in my life one would usually give to humans, because I needed connection and interacting with humans was so unsafe.

Forms of communication that didn’t include direct interaction felt like the pinnacle of bonding to me. Reading a book felt like talking, listening and understanding. Watching a show felt like having friends. Listening to audio books felt like being read bedtime stories. Playing a game felt like being played with. Identifying with a fictional character felt like being seen, that character finding happiness felt like being fulfilled. Reading a blog felt like intimate connecting with someone’s soul.

I was out there absorbing and feeling like that was it, this is how you feel like a part of humanity. Only problem with it was, I was still invisible to all these creators, existing only in my own mind, nobody affirming I was a part of the bond. And it was safe. So I keep doing it with people too. I absorb what they say, without making myself a part of their world, and without giving them a role in mine. That kind of a role is reserved specifically for my socks.

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

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twistybat

1 year ago

My Very Last Comic For The Nib! End Of An Era! Transcription Below The Cut. Instagram / Patreon / Portfolio

My very last comic for The Nib! End of an era! Transcription below the cut. instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble

The first event I went to with GENDER QUEER was in NYC in 2019 at the Javits Center.

So many of the people who came to my signing were librarians, and so many of them said the same thing: "I know exactly who I want to give this to!" Maia: "Thank you for helping readers find my book!" While working on the book, I was genuinely unsure if anyone outside of my family and close friends would read it. But the early support of librarians and two American Library Association awards helped sell two print runs in first year.

Since then, GENDER QUEER been published in 8 languages, with more on the way: Spanish, Czech, Polish, French, Italian, Norwegian, Portugese and Dutch.

It has also been the most banned book in the United States for the past two years. The American Library Association has tracked an astronomical increase in book challenges over the past few years. Most of these challenges are to books with diverse characters and LGBTQ themes. These challenges are coming unevenly across the US, in a pattern that mirrors the legislative attacks on LGBTQ people. The Brooklyn Public Library offered free eCards to anyone in the US aged 13-21, in an effort to make banned books more available to young readers. A teacher in Norman, Oklahoma gave her students the QR code for the free eCard and lost her job. Summer Boismeir is now working for the Brooklyn Public Library. Hoopla and Libby/Overdrive, apps used to access digital library books, are now banned in Mississippi to anyone under 18. Some libraries won’t allow anyone under 18 to get any kind of library card without parental permission. When librarians in Jamestown, Michigan refused to remove GENDER QUEER and several other books, the citizens of the town voted down the library’s funding in the fall 2022 election. Without funding, the library is due to close in mid-2024. My first event since covid hit was the American Library Association conference in June 2022 in Washington, DC. Once again, the librarians in my signing line all had similar stories for me: “Your book was challenged in our district" "It was returned to the shelf!" "It was removed from the shelf..." "It was moved to the adult section."

Over and over I said: "Thank you. Thank you for working so hard to keep my book in your library. I’m sorry you had to defend it, but thank you for trying, even if it didn't work." We are at a crossroads of freedom of speech and censorship. The future of libraries, both publicly funded and in schools, are at stake. This is massively impacting the daily lives of librarians, teachers, students, booksellers, and authors around the country. In May 2023, I read an article from the Washington Post analyzing nearly 1000 of the book challenges from the 2021-2022 school year. I was literally on route to a festival to talk about book bans when I read a startling statistic. 60% of the 1000 book challenges were submitted by just 11 people. One man alone was responsible for 92 challenges. These 11 people seem to have made submitting copy-cat book challenges their full-time hobby and their opinions are having an outsized ripple effect across the nation. WE NEED TO MAKE THE VOICES SUPPORTING DIVERSE BOOKS AND OPPOSING BOOK BANS EVEN LOUDER. If you are able too, show up for your library and school board meetings when book challenges are debated. Send supportive comments and emails about the Pride book display and Drag Queen story hours. If you see a display you like– for Banned Book Week, AAPI Month, Black History Month, Disability Awareness Month, Jewish holidays, Trans Day of Remembrance– compliment a librarian! Make sure they feel the love stronger than the hate <3

Maia Kobabe, 2023

The Nib