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Dismantling the Lies of Abusive Parents Masterlist

Resources

Giving you food and clothing is the bare minimum

You don’t owe gratitude for food and clothes you needed as a child

You had the right for basic resources

Parents shaming you for costing money is ironic and stupid

What it means when they say ‘This is MY house’

My house = my rules is blackmail

Children don’t owe absolute obedience for being fed and sheltered

Physical abuse

You are allowed to refuse any touch, not only violence

If they ‘don’t know they’re hurting you’, why do they ignore or punish you when you protest?

Hitting children is irrational and doesn’t work

You cannot ‘provoke’ your parents to abuse you if they’re not abusive

Why do parents actually hit, manipulate and traumatize children

Blatant Lies

Care, nurture and affection do not make you weak

They’re lying when they say it ‘wasn’t that bad’‘

You wouldn’t have grown up spoiled if not for abuse

You got too affected by it’ is a lie

Your parents are not ‘just too emotionally immature’ to understand abuse

‘You’re not living in the real world!’ is nonsense

You’re not worthless, a burden, ungrateful, or stupid, and your parents know that.

Constant undermining of your accomplishments is abuse

Not being allowed to talk about the past is symptom of abuse

Parents who want you to be happy vs look happy

You are not abusive for resisting abuse

When they claim ‘they didn’t mean it’, it’s still abuse

Your parents are responsible for their own actions regardless of how badly they try to shift blame on you

Psychological abuse

Blind Obedience is not required in a healthy upbringing

Disgust is a weapon abusive parents use on their kids

If they say they love you, but walk all over your feelings, they don’t 

Parents don’t have the right to enter your room to scream at you

Parents insisting for you to be ‘tough’ are doing it to hide the trauma

Even if a kid acts like ‘they can take it’, it’s still abuse

Pretending abuse is discipline will leave children permanently scarred

It’s inhumane to control and shame children’s reactions to abuse

Why don’t you already know this? vs Teaching you necessary skills

Acting like they’ll change is escape sabotage

Parents are responsible for protecting children from harm

References to how healthy parenting looks like

Not being allowed to be angry with your parents is psychological abuse

If parents want you to act way you did when you were little, they’re dangerous

Threats about how hard your life will be later on, are bad for you

Lack of continuity and ever-changing rules will cause anxiety

Forced obedience will lead you to abusive relationships

Parents acting like you’re a ‘bad’ is a shame tactic to control you

There’s healthy and abusive ways to give children chores

Revisioning the past and insisting you remember it wrong is gaslighting

If your parents make you suicidal, they’re abusive

Parents threatening ‘they could be worse’ is abuse

Always assuming the worst intentions for your actions is wrong

Keeping children hostage in abuse is torture

If this hits home, also read Recognizing Abuse Masterlist

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

I want all nonblack people to watch this video, especially white people.

This is the best video IMO that displays the depth of what it feels like to be Black in the midst of white supremacy.

This is the rage that burns in so many Black people and eats at us when it is not sufficiently soothed by our self restraint and years of learning to cope with and sit with us. This is the pain that shortens Black people’s very lives, that we smother each day. This is the justified yet unjustly ignored anger we have learned to hold and to aim and to deal with without breaking (too much).

This is the fire that those of you who are just showing up on the scene are learning to sit beside.

When you ask us ‘how we’re doing’, understand that this is the real core of it, every single day, and we have had to learn to laugh, to sing, to dance, to work, to grieve, to heal around heavy, heavy pain. I don’t get the feeling that y’all are expecting nor could you handle if we answered you like this. But I do feel like you should already know how we’re doing: we’re Black.

So y’all, sit with this video for a hot minute.

Kimberly Jones, you are a warrior. I feel every moment of this, every diaphragm flex, every tenuously tempered shout. And I hope that you are taking a break, and experiencing a moment of peace, because you deserve it.

😳💚

every tiktok expert: make short fun videos 9-15 seconds long

me: how about a 2-minute spoken word monolog about unlearning trauma responses?

in case no one told you, or in case you know but you need encouragement taking the next step: it’s never too late to unlearn a law that is now holding you back, it’s never too late to write a new law

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

Please signal boost this so people know.

Idk who needs to hear this, but you are not damaged goods, you are not less than and you are not bread that is several days old. You are still you, you are worthy and will always be. You are wanted and you are needed, sometimes it is just a matter of figuring out where you fit in. You deserve to be appreciated and to feel appreciated, and you will, you just gotta hang in there and don’t give up. 🌸

We are now in the two last months of the year, and I hope they will bring wonderful moments. I also just wanted to remind you that there is still time if there it something you have been meaning to do this year, but haven’t gotten around to for whatever reason.

I also wanna say that if this year has been difficult and you do not feel like you did enough, then please be extra kind to yourself in these months. Sometimes when we feel like we have been doing too little or nothing, it is because we have been fighting or some things has been out of our control. Both those scenarios are rough. And I want to remind you of that, of how exhausting it can be, of how strong you are, of how loved you are and of how enough you are.

I hope this last part of the year brings you ease and leaves you more hopeful than you think it will. 🌸

Find a soul that doesn’t lose appreciation once they are used to you.

If you experienced trauma in childhood or had a rough childhood, dude listen to me. Offer yourself play. You were deprived of it.

Keep bubbles in the house, blow bubbles in the yard, blow them in your room, get a coloring book that doesn’t have to be an adult one with mandalas, watch cartoons, laugh at stupid things, dress up as a superhero for Halloween, wear a Santa hat on Christmas and big light up snowflake earrings, lay down on the floor, lay down in the grass, eat eggos for dinner sometimes. It’s not stupid. You’re not childish. You’re giving your inner child what they had taken from them. They deserve it.