Twobraincellgenius - Untitled

Me, calling in to my shift supervisor: Gooooooood morning! Are we ready for another super splendiferous day with the public?! 😀

Her: That is too much energy

Me: It iiiiiis fake!! 😀

Her: Still too much energy

reblog for Sergeant Stabby

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

A) i was a church organist

B) i made cereals w beer instead of milk

C) i can hold my breath for 40 seconds

Which one is a lie

Or, Rome has boiling isles numerals.

…the boiling isles had roman numerals?

It's time we decolonize the Cascadian volcanoes

The twist is that the bottle is actually a mimic

Monster Bottle

Wanna know how the rich stay rich? Mony.

people love extolling the virtues of ball-and-socket joints and how it makes us more advanced and all that but I don't see any fucking octopuses in slings now do I. Bones are overrated and I want a refund.

You shall all suffer

I just learned that The Game is played globally. I hope we one day make it a galactic and get the aliens in on it.

Yes, I just made you lose The Game, I'm sorry.