He Is Such A Cringey, Pathetic, Weird Little Idiot. The People Who Don't See Through Him Are Some Of

Relevant xkcd: https://xkcd.com/729

Where's that post that's like "I can't buy expensive things like plane tickets on my phone, I have to use my laptop, big purchases are for the big screen"

Because apparently this is a literal actual thing that retailers hate cuz you think more before spending a lot of money, they want you to spend a lot without thinking about it so much

Source

Keep buying Big Things on the Big Screen, it's healthy for you financially to think before spending a lot of money!

spirits say no

BREAKING NEWS: Writer discovers for the millionth time that they can write whatever they want. Join us now to see if the lesson will stick.

Scout: I always keep a bat by my bed.

Spy: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Sniper: I sleep with a knife.

Medic: Ho ho ho, the three of you are pathetic.

Scout: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Medic: Heavy.

No gods no masters

Felines and canines are probably some of the oldest mammalian Pokémon because of of revers’ closer relation to mew.

Pokemon except it’s like real animal taxonomy so there’s like 550 different species of Cutiefly that can only be separated by DNA tests

Is hell for satanists heavan?

Being in your twenties is just

Have I eaten today? Do I have autism? I want a new job. Am I dehydrated? God, I want top surgery so bad. Where's my birth certificate? Oh it's nice out today! Should I get high tonight? I'm so hungry. I'm so sad. Do my friends hate me? I need a nap. I'd be so much hotter without tits.