Recently I Have Been Having Difficulty Getting It Up. That Is Unless I'm Jerking Off Thinking About My

recently I have been having difficulty getting it up. that is unless I'm jerking off thinking about my wife punching and slapping my face, hitting me with a riding crop, and making remarks about my small useless cock (all of which has actually occurred). I am thinking that instead of trying and failing to fuck her, I should suggest that she slaps and spits in my face as I jerk off to her. do u think that is a mistake? I don't know if I want her to see me like that. will she be able to see me as a man after that? will I ever be able to cum from normal sex again? will she start to really think about fucking someone else and become fixated on the idea? the whole thing is really exciting and scary. thanks for reading.