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Ruined Orgasms

What is a Ruined Orgasm?

I guess the biggest misunderstanding about ruined orgasms comes from the word “ruined”. It has a negative connotation. It suggests something unpleasant or unfinished. It's also often called a "touchless orgasm", which is more accurate I believe.

"Ruined" is simply inaccurate. A perfectly “ruined” orgasm is still an orgasm! It will feel profoundly different, but it will always be WONDERFUL – especially if you use it as a way to prolong your lovemaking! Males have been giving themselves orgasms for many years, but one thing that it is basically impossible for them to do is give themselves a "ruined orgasm". This, among other things, is what makes it so mind-blowing.

The basic concept is very simple, in theory at least. Let’s say that his point of no return (the precise moment, no matter what happens, once reached, the body gives the “kick-off” and inevitably triggers the orgasm) is very precisely seven minutes, then you must stimulate him for just under seven minutes (and not a second more). At that moment, release his nub and absolutely stop all your stimulation. As long as he doesn’t receive physical stimulation, his orgasmic reflexes will lead him straight to a ruined orgasm. Mission accomplished!

The key to a ruined orgasm is to find the right moment to interrupt the stimulation. Instead of “letting go at the last second”, you can stop much sooner. The goal is to leave him on the verge of orgasm, as if time were suspended, for as long as possible before his body triggers the ejaculatory reflexes. If you do it correctly his semen should just flow effortlessly drip down along his straining nub.

Do you see that “floating” moment, the time it takes for the semen to flow without caressing it? If so, congratulations, you’ve done it!

Benefits of a Ruined Orgasm

If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more, even though he just ejaculated. Ruined orgasms are great when you want to give him an orgasm but still leave him horny when you lock him back up. Or, if you plan to have an all-night love-making session but you are afraid that he will cum to quickly, you can start your evening with a touchless orgasm.

He will experience no 'refractory period' after a ruined orgasm. Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to lose his erection and enter what  is called the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to  have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to  stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated.

His recover period will be MUCH quicker, and if you have sex after a ruined orgasm, he will last must longer too!

Most of the benefits of a long period in chastity (for you - i.e. motivation, energy, increased oxytocin etc) will not be lost after a ruined orgasm.

How to give a Ruined Orgasm

I'll start by saying that there is no 'one right way'. But this is what I like to do...

SETUP:

Tell him to lie down on his back.

Ideally, restrain his hands behind his back, or tell him to lie on his hands. Most males can't be trusted to not touch their nub at the crux of the ruined orgasm! Tell him he is at no point allowed to touch his (your!) nub. Throw in a blindfold for fun, if you feel like it.

Tell him you are going to give him a ruined orgasm, and that he should not cum until you tell him he can.

TIP: If you don't feel like direct skin contact or don't want any 'mess', tell him to wear tight lycra shorts or swim briefs, and then stroke him through the fabric, rather than have him completely naked.

PROCESS:

With your male on his back, take one hand (i.e. my left hand), and grip his balls and pull them away from his body until his penis is pointing up at almost 90 degrees.

With your right hand's index finger, stroke upwards (from the balls to the tip of the nub) slowly and deliberately. his most sensitive part is the area on the underside of his nub just before the tip. Stop just short of this area. It's much harder for a male to orgasm with an upward stroke as opposed to a downward one.

Keep this motion up for a while. Don't speed up - slow and steady is what you want, so that you don't drive him over the edge too quickly.

Every 10-15 strokes, slowly rub the sensitive area a few times, or gave a few circles along the head of his nub, and then to go back to the slow upward stroking motion.

If you feel his balls contract, or his nub twitches, let go with both hands immediately. Tell him to not cum - "no cumming... don't cum yet". Or you can ask him to announce when he is getting close. When he says "I'm close", let go with both hands. Count to 20, and then pull his balls away again and start with the slow upward motion.

Eventually (or soon, depending on the lockup period!), even letting go completely will cause him to go over the edge. Don't stimulate him at all at this point. The cum should ooze gently from the tip of his nub and down the shaft - no spurting, no major twitching... a perfectly ruined orgasm.

ADDED EXTRA: The second you see any cum being released, tap / slap his balls with the flat of your hand for 20-30 seconds or until all of the cum has been released. Be careful not to touch the penis at this point, only the balls.

Tell him to clean up and re-lock his nub immediately.

Bravo - you've done it!

As mentioned, everyone does it differently, but this is a basic 101! Trust me, he will be begging you for more in no time!!

Pro Tip: If your male is caged and you don't wish to unlock him for a ruined orgasm, use a vibrator or vibrating massager and simply place it on the base ring of his cage, underneath his balls. The vibrations will eventually bring him to the point of orgasm. Ensure he tells you when he is close to climax. At this point, stop the vibrations and cease all contact. If you time it right, his cum with leak out of the front of the cage in a perfectly ruined orgasm.

Asymmetric Sex...

One of the most surprising aspects of a Female Led Relationship is how the asymmetric nature of sex evolves. Few conservatively raised women can imagine how different their sex life becomes when they assume a position of dominance in their relationship. In most intimate relationships, sex is essentially symmetric, or at least idealized as such. When one partner is in the mood, usually the male, he works to arouse his woman - but more commonly, he simply initiates sex. If he is in any way a gentleman, the expectation is of course mutual satisfaction. But Female Led Relationships are different… In a female led relationship, the lady controls all sexual activity. Either she allows her doting suitor to indicate an interest, to which she responds positively or negatively - or she reserves the initiation of any type of sex entirely to herself. In either case, the woman is the gate keeper of all sexual activity. When she does choose to engage in sexual activity, it is primarily focused on “her” satisfaction. She expects her venerating lover to properly bring her to orgasm at least once, perhaps more, before there is any possibility of his own pleasure. So every sexual encounter in a female led relationship arrives at a point where the woman has been completely satisfied, but the male of course has not!  This makes sense because there is virtually no risk of a healthy man failing to orgasm during sexual intercourse, whereas there  is  considerable risk that he might before the lady does, thus depriving her and surely ending the intimacy.

The woman’s first orgasms, therefore, is usually achieved by means other than sexual intercourse or penile penetration… The possibilities are endless but usually involve manual or oral stimulation or the use of sex toys. But just as the lady decides when sex occurs, so does she also decide how far it proceeds. In particular, she decides whether sex proceeds beyond HER first orgasm. As a routine matter, the devotional male not only has no expectations about when or whether sex will happen, but, as well, how far it will proceed when it does. As part of the transformation of the healthy relationship, the lady may also be scaling back her Boy Toys Explosive Orgasms while at the same time, increasing the frequency her own. How far can this go? Well, let us suppose that you decide to “allow” your Virile Boy Toy an average of just one orgasm a week… At the same time, you might indulge yourself each night. That would result in a ratio of 7:1. But - you might allow your Stud Muffin as few as a couple of orgasms a month, while you enjoy a quickie in the morning, another after work, and a more intimate and prolonged encounter in the evening. In this scenario - That is a ratio approaching 50:1. These ratios, while interesting, are irrelevant… Once you pass beyond 5:1 there is really no longer any meaningful connection between your orgasms and his - they become entirely different matters: his are a strict matter of discipline (and what’s best for the relationship), the exact frequency that brings about optimal adoration and obedience, while your enjoying as many blissful climaxes as your heart desires. In fact, the more sexual intimacy, the better for the marriage. That might seem incredible, but for the fact that, as you become ever more proficient in exercising erotic power in your relationship, your devotional lover begins to derive greater and greater happiness from your satisfaction and fulfillment. He will crave giving you that morning quickie as much as you! Needless to say, this extreme asymmetry does not come about overnight. It develops naturally over time, so that, gradually, eventually, both of you come to regard your female-centered sex life as a normal aspect of your Feminine LED Relationship…

Good girl!

Charlize

Love those spikey heels. Where can u get those?