I Dont Feel Like My Life Is On Track. I Was Studying So Ache Se In The Starting Of The Session But Now

Dude you were too harsh with your callout😭😭

Look at you. Browsing the same four apps over and over again looking to find your parents' love that you never got, from strangers' validation.

I do this thing where I want to talk to someone but i don't know what to say or how to start the talk......It's not anxiety or shyness or overthinking.....It's just lack of content in my case

At this point I'm not sure whether my mindset is good or not because no person should be this sad and lonely and depressed

I just studied for 1 hr today.....my day was wasted 💔

Its 12:55am and I'll study as if my exam is tomorrow...I'll update you on how it goes

I don't want to be a burden to my parents, I really really want to be their pride. The one who fulfills my and their dreams. I want to be a role model for my small brother so that no matter what he has me as the safety net. But here I am, I failed my exam, it's a first and I'm not even studying properly ,the exam is in 2 days and I am just so horrible. I couldn't even keep the promise I made to myself. What if everything turns out so bad that I can't even trust myself?

yk I was in 9th. and it was my PTM. i got 51/80 marks in maths during my half yearly's and obviously i was scolded so much much for it. my parents scolded me on the day i told them the result and till the PTM also they were taunting me about it and i used to just keep quiet because i felt it was justified as i used to go to maths tution as well. but on that ptm day my teacher just told my dad that i did great because before it i got 14/30 in the unit test and she just said that i did good, i improved because in the first unit test i was not able to score half marks but this i scored more than half and that is great. My dad did not resonate with thought but ma'am when you said that it literally made me cry i held my tears back but thank you so much for acknowledging it. thank you so much this literally made me cry. that's my life now crying while remembering every short little good thing a stranger has done for me. it's sad because i can't remember anything of my parents. but i know my dad would protect me and take my side against others but i can't say the same about my mom. because all throughout my childhood she has always taken my cousins side and never mine and i've always felt jealous because my cousins used to have their mothers supporting them and MY mom too. and then they used to make fun of me and i was all alone

why was my childhood so freakin sad? i used to think i was a happy kid and i used to never cry. i can say with confidence that i have never cried from the age of 9-13 but why are those incidents coming to me now? why am i crying because of them NOW? it's been so long why the fuck are they bothering me now of all times when i am at my lowest. god just help me out. at this point i don't about my sadness i just want to fulfill my goals. as long as i go to IIT Bombay(CS) away from my house. I'll be fine.

If you hang out with a…

Disciplined person, you’ll start respecting structure

Insecure person, you’ll start second-guessing yourself

Adventurous person, you’ll crave new experiences

Victim minded person, you’ll start blaming instead of growing

Abundant person, you’ll stop thinking in limits

Jealous person, you’ll start resenting your blessings

High value woman, you’ll raise your standards without apologo

Chaotic person, you’ll feel like peace is boring

Healed person, you’ll see how emotionally mature life can be

Procrastinator, you’ll normalize delay over progress

Ambitious person, you’ll start dreaming bigger

Judgmental person, you’ll fear being fully yourself

Playful person, you’ll learn to soften and enjoy the moment

Energy is contagious

Habits are contagious

Mindsets are contagious

Doesn’t matter how x you think you are because if you were, you wouldn’t make decisions or choose people that don’t align

You become who you’re around even when you don’t notice it

I started out this academic session with lot of determination but it all faded because of distractions so I am hoping to focus on discipline .......and tbh I would give this credit to my new friend who is so smart( and sweet also) but like very smart....looking at her...she inspires me to start studying and be smart as well....so thank you new friend for rekindling my flame of wanting to be an academic weapon.

And ofc I'll keep you all updated :)

We all deserve someone who can read us better than we do.