“I Choose You, Not Because I Think It Will Always Be Easy, But Because With You I Know That Even On

“Wasn’t that the definition of home? Not where you are from, but where you are wanted.”

—

Abraham Verghese, Cutting of the Stone (via clarev)

@gothvixengoddess

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

theres a lot of things that scare me in this world, but i'd like to think that as of late, i've been working twards a better life, a slightly better me, slowly but surely.

Yandere Archetypes

Yandere is a super broad umbrella term and I’ve been whining for a while now about how badly I want to see it broken down into coherent subgroups based on behaviour and mentality. I’ve seen a few blogs do something similar (most notably @yandere-daydreams who has a whole fascinating world built around the idea of yandere being the social norm, and does some great writing besides) but none of them have quite been what I had in mind, so I decided to finally sit down and try to make my own categories. 

This isn’t super refined or anything, and I’ll keep updating and editing more specific categories as I figure out how, but here’s what I’ve got so far.

The first way Yandere are divided is based on a Kinsey scale of Delusional to Lucid.

Delusional Yandere believe that their Obsession is already in love with them, or that, if they aren’t already, they will be soon. They either see nothing at all wrong with their actions, or they justify their actions as being perfectly acceptably because they were done for love. Not only do they justify their actions to themselves, but they expect their Obsession to understand, sympathise with, and appreciate all they’ve done in the name of their love. Delusional Yandere can be unpredictable when their Obsession reacts negatively. Some will hardly see it as little more than a lover’s spat, while others will become enraged that their Obsession would “betray” them by trying to get away after everything they’ve done to build their relationship.

Semi-Delusional Yandere are mostly delusional with random bouts of lucidity. They maintain a true Delusional Yandere’s instability and unpredictable nature, but their occasional self-awareness alows them to better navigate the world around them. They may experience rare second thoughts or guilt over their actions, but they quickly brush these off.

Selective Yandere are either Delusional or Lucid depending on circumstance. They’re likely aware on some level that their fantasy is exactly that, but they prefer to believe it’s true, or else outside factors are continuously forcing them to face and second-guess their delusions, leading to them having more regular and longer-lasting bouts of lucidity. Selective Yandere are a random grab bag of traits, because of their place right in the middle. Some may have all the guilt and regret of a truly Lucid Yandere coupled with all the instability and desperation of a truly Delusional Yandere, while others will have all the Lucid’s self-awareness and all the Delusional’s drive, making for a terrifyingly dangerous combination either way.

Semi-Lucid Yandere are usually aware of themselves and their actions, but they either so heavily justify those actions to themselves that they’ve begun to truly believe those justifications, or outside influences are impacting their mental stability, prompting them to more heavily lean into their Obsession as an escape from reality. These yandere are typically more willing to cross lines than their truly lucid counterparts, although they still hold fear of what their Obsession would say or do if they found out.

Lucid Yandere are aware of their actions, and how those actions impact reality, both for themselves and their Obsession. They have a relatively clear understanding that what they’re doing is wrong, and that their Obsession likely won’t thank them for it, but they either don’t care or are incapable of stopping themselves. They may justify their actions as being for their love, but they aren’t expecting their Obsession to do the same. They will go to great lengths to keep their actions hidden from their Obsession, and although they may be more stable than their Delusional counterparts, their self-awareness can sometimes mean they have an easier time manipulating their obsession or other people around them.

From here, yandere can be further divided based on the reasoning behind their obsession. Yandere are either Selfish or Selfless.

Selfish Yandere are more interested in how their Obsession makes them feel than they are with the Obsession themselves. These yandere will stop at nothing to have their Obsession’s full, undivided attention. They want you because you make them feel good, and as a result, they refuse to let you go. Like an addict, these yandere are constantly chasing the high they get from being with you, and, like an addict, they may gradually need more and more of your time and affection to keep them satisfied. They’ll keep you with them at all costs, even if it means hurting you or doing something directly against your best interests.

Selfless Yandere care more about the happiness and well-being of their Obsession than their own, which sounds better until you consider that a yandere’s over-protectiveness can be a lethal thing. These yandere tend to be more Lucid than their Selfish counterparts, though that isn’t a hard rule. All yandere crave to be recognised and loved by their Obsession, but a Selfless yandere puts that second to ensuring the comfort, safety, and happiness of their Obsession. Some never push for a romance at all, content to merely be a protector, while others are simply willing to patiently put it on the back-burner while they focus on more important things. These yandere might allow you to have close relationships with your friends and family members, either because they know it’ll make you happy or because they have more important things to worry about. 

Some examples (potential spoiler warning):

Lucid Selfish: Ayano Aishi/Yandere-Chan, Yandere Simulator. Ayano’s “Love at first sight” for her senpai Taro Yamada was born when he was the first person to make her feel anything. She knows he isn’t in love with her, and doesn’t particularly care one way or another. Her senpai is a vessel that delivers the high she craves, she wants to keep him with her because she craves the way he makes her feel.

Delusional Selfish: Sato Matsuzuka, Happy Sugar Life. Sato found Shio on the side of the road after Shio was abandoned by her mother, and “fell in love” with Shio because Shio made her feel “sweet.” She didn’t hesitate to kidnap a child off the streets, and refuses to see anything abnormal about their relationship, even going so far as to say that everyone else’s love is “bitter” and wrong. When she finds out Shio’s older brother is desperately searching for her, it never occurs to her that Shio might be happier or better-off with hi. Instead she desperately does everything she can to remove him from the occasion, so she can keep Shio with her and keep feeling “sweet.”

Lucid Selfless: Homura Akemi, Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Homura is never once under any delusions about her relationship with Madoka, although she of course yearns for something closer. She never once shows any interest in keeping Madoka away from her friends or family, even though Homura is at best apathetic and at worst actively dislikes every single one of them, because she knows the isolation wouldn’t make Madoka happy, and would rather kill herself and sacrifice a potential life with Madoka than see her come to harm. She only kidnaps Madoka when she gains the ability to literally rewrite the universe, creating a perfect city where Madoka can be with all of her loved ones while still being close to and protected by Homura.

Selective Selfless: Yuno Gasai, Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. Yuno is a perfect example of a Selective Yandere because she can literally rewrite or delete her own memories at will, allowing her to completely pick and choose how she views the world and her experiences. Although it’s somewhat tricky to define her on a selfish-selfless binary, since her powers mean that her actions have effectively zero consequences, she’s still mostly driven by a desire to keep Yuki safe and happy, as shown by her willingness to kill Yuki’s mother rapidly changing when she found out the woman was a good and loving mom. The first time she killed Yuki, she did so under the belief that she could bring him back to life and make him a god alongside her, and the second time she attempted to kill him she was thinking of the Yuki in the next time-loop, who she could try to have a better relationship with. Yuno’s main drive is to keep Yuki alive during the survival game, however she constantly pushes him for a closer relationship, and often convinces herself that the lines she crosses simply don’t exist.

It's like, 10:52pm and I have online school tomorrow.

this is great not being able to sleep so I'm posting here.

yay.

I created this illustration for @cheritsundere's fic Polaroid Through Your Lashes for this year's hunter x hunter big bang!! (@hxhbb2021)

It's a really fun story check it out! I love art about art. [https://archiveofourown.org/works/32722693/chapters/81181117]

Being in a car with three people who know how to drive, when someone is doing something that isn't right with driving, they all start shit talking that person together

And im confused so i just dont say anything.

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