Exactly What I Was Going Through

exactly what i was going through

Undermining Inner Movement Due To Lack Of Physical Movement

The only movement that matters is the movement within.

I’ve been thinking lately about why sometimes I would never see my Full manifestations materialized even thought I would ((seriously)) change so much within.

Like seriously.. I’m a person who goes through multiple deaths and rebirths internally. The things I thought last week probably aren’t what I think this week and it’s surely not what I thought last month. I’m always expanding upon my life philosophies and dogmas to try to learn more about the world. Since the beginning of the year I really have completely changed inside. Blossomed into something completely different to the point where the me from pre late March just feels so disconnected from the me of now.

I say all this to say that I Do do the hard inner work and have the hard inner conversations with myself to shed old parts of myself to make room for the new. But then i ask myself, why does my external world not reflect that change?

Honestly this is something that would have me tripped up for a long time because before anyone comes in here saying “it’s clearly because you haven’t changed”, i’m going to stop you right there since I think I know myself better than a stranger on the internet. If anything, I think it’s because I championed external movement more than internal movement.

I was watching some Edward the other day, his video on internal movement. He spoke about how the movement inside should be the only movement we should seek, the outside is merely a bonus. It made me think about how I would undermine my Very Real internal transformations just because there wasn’t tangible evidence on the outside to substantiate that change which, in turn, would lead me back to square 1.

At times I would literally feel trapped by my outside world but as I’m typing this now I realize that it’s because I was too invested in the outer world. This feeling of encagement rlly would be because I would be someone completely different inside, but outside there was nothing to back this up. I felt (sometimes feel) like the world would never change… Like I’m trapped…

But again, the only movement that we’re after is the movement inside since reality is within not without. Me getting to a point where I completely felt like a different person inside should’ve been where I stopped and congratulated myself because that’s where the mission was accomplished… because.. again.. reality exists within.. not without.

Essentially feeling like a new person inside means I associated myself with this new state so much that I felt disconnected from the outside world but my need to see that reflected outside would have me back at square 1 because it was putting me back in a state of lack.

I honestly don’t remember where I was going to go with this but I want to just share this to remind everyone that if you’re like me and find yourself trapped at times, you’re too into the 3D. Remember that the hard part (internal metamorphosis) is already done and go back to your imagination to fulfill urself and experience what you’ve given yourself. Even if it feels like nothing is changing, know that you’ve changed in the only place where it matters and the rest will unfold beautifully … at least that’s what I tell myself

If you know that you’re a different person inside, if you know you’ve done the work, and if you feel disconnected to your 3D that is because you’ve shifted states. You’re more connected to a new version of yourself than you are to the current one in the 3D. Don’t let 3D validation keep you bogged down to the old story by changing your state from (being) to (wanting/waiting).

As I typed the last part I had a new epiphany lol. All the other times in the past I would only get my things half way is because I wasn’t fully committed to the fact that imagination is the only truth. Only half of my toes were dipped into the pool not the full thing. But I’ve decided to really let the mirror go and take a chance on faith and see where that gets us.

That’s all for now. Hope that helped!

skirt chasers

jjk x (f) reader

summary “Baggy clothes are in, but you wouldn’t know that, Miss I Draw Inspiration From Catholic School Girls.” tags f2l, triple texting king kook, ncampus crush kook who is also the weird gamer boy, the skirt aspect is forgotten towards the end tbh, dumbassery is a disease and we are all affected by it, confessions SO CORNY it could be a 2005 teen romcom warnings smut in the form of: unprotected sex, use of mirrors, mostly heavy petting as foreplay I’m sorry, mentions of Jk’s furry ways as a gag kinda, like an unnecessary amount of swearing wc 7.8k

to make a long story short, i saw this nsfw gif and wrote this entire fic between 2 am and 6 am anyway i actually really like how this turned out!! lmk when u think

Part of the ideology behind the pleated skirt was in hopes that buying a new wardrobe would somehow help you rebrand your image around campus. Truthfully, it was kinda too late for that now; you’d been here going on three years, your friends and anyone with eyes could see that the style of clothing you leaned towards favored comfort over fashion. However, someone—it might’ve been Taehyung—had gone on a drunken spiel the other night concerning the importance of presenting oneself via fashion. It wasn’t aimed at you, but it certainly left you wondering.

Which is how you find yourself shivering to the bone now, lingering around the west quad as you wait for Jungkook to come out of an anatomy lab. He’s at that point in the semester where grades mean nothing and everything to him at the same time, so Namjoon’s commissioned you and your other pals to take turns babysitting him once a week to make sure he gets at least some assignments done.

Keep reading

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ukiyogguk

2 years ago

things I need to remind myself

1. completely and fully disregard the materialization process because thinking about it makes me think i’m doing something wrong because i can’t (see)) my shit even tho ik im not because of the //feelings// i have when i re enter my states

2. forget about desire entirely except to experience it

3. remember the outer man has no free will so he cannot desire anything therefore worrying about his experience (the materialization) is stupid.

4. remember quite literally everythingggggg is happening within. everything. everything. i can be in a bad circumstance externally but fulfilled internally because fulfillment comes from within

5. the outer man does not have his own dialogue so anytime i think about wanting to physically see my desire that the inner man acting as the outer man and leaving the state of the WF. i must simply shift his focus back.

6. continuously experience and forget about the concept of outer results and materialization

7. stop allowing myself to feel like i need to do more to “see” it or like i’m doing anything wrong. i’m doing everything right.

whenever i doubt i will come back to this

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ukiyogguk

2 years ago

i kind of feel invincible rn. i can get whatever i want with literally no effort and the 3d will reflect easily because the 3d is just a reflection of me. i think greatly of myself and ik i have millions and ik i have my dream life and ik im the most beautiful girl out there and that everything works out for me <3 because i can trust myself, i can trust the law to always reflect

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ukiyogguk

3 years ago

alright! because i'm all about blender and helping u all out (and i am getting a few q's about how i learn 3d rendering), here is a playlist on youtube i had made for myself with tutorials and videos that i watch and learn from— this is how i'm getting better at blender— with practice, practice, and practice. so for any of you wanting to get into blender and 3d rendering, here is my beginner's tutorial hole that will help you tremendously. i usually add videos onto here too as i learn more for ya future reference.

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ukiyogguk

5 years ago

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

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ukiyogguk

6 years ago

WTH this actually happened?!

Stop he’s so cute

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ukiyogguk

5 years ago

stop comparing yourself to others and start living by your own standards. individuality makes you beautiful.

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ukiyogguk

5 years ago

If you’re seeing this, this is your 888. Reap the abundance before you and feel the luck which swashs like the tide at your feet.

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ukiyogguk

3 years ago

we’ll dream of a longer summer: a collection of summer poems

༺♡༻

this high summer we love by adrianne rich

the summer day by mary oliver

one summer by idea vilariño

when we with sappho by kenneth rexroth

summer by louise glück

onto a vast plain by rilke

spanish nights by royla asghar

summer morning by mary oliver

baked goods by aimee nezhukumatathil

summer was forever by chen chen

summer of the ladybirds by vivian smith

because it’s summer by ocean vuong

summer (a love poem) by frank lima

the best time of the day by raymond carver

blue funk by julio cortázar

love letter by julio cortázar

the waves by juana de ibarbourou

fragment 31 “jealousy,” by sappho

late summer by jennifer grotz

wide space by mahmoud darwish

you can read these poems while listening to my summer playlist on spotify. a collection of quiet and dreamy songs that reminded me of summer’s spirit. hope you like it!! listen here !

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ukiyogguk

5 years ago