He’s An Irredeemable Villain To You. He’s My Special Little Princess Though

@ everyone who said ‘if you liked The Untamed, you’ll probably like Joy of Life’, you were right and I hate you

once again I am the kiss of death to my favourite character, once again I am fucking distraught over the use of zhiji (oh my god, they were zhiji), once again I am overly invested in a character I am absolutely sure is up to no good (look, I don’t trust the second prince as far as I can throw him, but I do admire his commitment to the No Shoes Lifestyle)

him :(

as much as wei wuxian lacks any sense of self preservation and just like the bare minimum level of self worth required to value himself and his own safety/comfort I don't think he actually like. hates himself. at least not in the traditional sense

I often see him characterized in fanon as constantly and very Bluntly being like "oh I'm a bad bad man who doesn't deserve any love or affection" even tho that... doesn't really match his character? like the man obviously has self worth problems and values his life and comfort below literally everybody elses, often to a harmful and deadly degree, and the way he treats and thinks of himself is clearly by no means healthy, but I certainly don't think it manifests in the way people like to depict it where wei wuxian actively has these desperately tragic self depreciating thoughts that literally Spell Out his lack of self worth to himself

he spends So much time and effort really driving home the whole "I'm just an arrogant shameless genius" act and being in complete denial of any negative emotions he has that it would be incredibly out of character for wei wuxian to sit around thinking "oh I'm so terrible and I don't deserve love or kindness because I'm such an awful awful man" much less to Say That Outloud To A Loved One

wei wuxian KNOWS that he's talented. he KNOWS that he's a prodigy and a genius and near unmatched in his skill and, even after his resurrection when he's a little less arrogant and a little more humble, he certainly is not afraid to say as much to other people or to show off. he doesn't doubt his abilities or his charm or his cleverness, it's not even that he doesn't value them, he simply doesn't put Worth to any of it. he doesn't see himself as undeserving of love and kindness and affection, just Less deserving. anything else in the world is more deserving, above him and his desires and his comfort and his safety. he doesn't hate himself, doesn't even dislike himself, he simply doesn't care for himself

even when he accepts harsh punishment too quick and without protest, it's not a form of blatant self hatred or self harm, it's a manifestation of his feelings of not being worth the effort of being spared. it probably even comes from a place of valuing himself "Too Much". because wei wuxian is very talented and very smart and he is the very best at everything he does, so if somebody he places any value or trust in decides to punish him, well, then he really must have done something terrible ("at least I could be killed by you - that would be worth it" and all that) he simply has no affection or tenderness to give himself. that is not synonymous with hatred or even with apathy

wei wuxians lack of self worth does not manifest in self depreciating thoughts or monologues about how nobody can or should love him, because for as much as wei wuxian talks, he is a man of action

wei wuxian does not hate himself, but he will provoke wen chao and accept a beating and a night in a cell with grace if it keeps others safe. everyone else at the wen indoctrination camp remaining unharmed is worth one night of his blood and tears

wei wuxian does not hate himself, but he is so very prepared to let madam yu cut off his hand, so very prepared learn to use a sword with his left, if it will spare yunmeng. everything he loves and wants to protect is worth more than a hand, no matter how unfair that punishment may be

wei wuxian does not hate himself, but he will give jiang cheng his core. because jiang chengs happiness is worth more than everything he has dedicated his life to, everything he has spent countless hours becoming the very best at. to see jiang cheng smile again, to see jiang yanli stop worrying and simply be able to rest again, that is worth far more to him than anything a golden core could offer

wei wuxian does not hate himself, but he will let the world believe he has been cast from his family to spare them. wei wuxian does not hate himself, but he will not tell wen qing he is injured, because his blood is not worth her worry

wei wuxian does not hate himself, but when the wen remnants die for him, when jiang yanli perishes by his hand, however indirect, well. those losses and those crimes are far too heavy and far too abhorrent for his life to be worth anything in the wake of them

and wei wuxian does not hate himself, but he will let the world believe for a second time that he is a liar and a villain and a monster if that will spare even just lan wangjis name. wei wuxians reputation is worth far less to him than lan wangjis

wei wuxian does not hate himself, of course wei wuxian does not hate himself. he loves himself, actually. it's just that wei wuxian does not love himself back, and he certainly loves everybody else far more

parents who tell their daughters they are ugly are bad parents

i found a loophole i will just make everyone dislike me so it's not a burden for anyone but me after all why should anyone have to suffer cause im not okay i should be capable of dealing with my trauma

get okay with being some level of burden on others, seriously

i’d like lwj to be friends with more women but his options are fairly limited. i can’t imagine him being actually close with jyl because they’re too polite to each other. even when lwj is used to wwx being wwx i think he would see wwx tease jyl and be Shocked Scandalised, wei ying how could you torment your sister who has never done anything wrong in her life ever. good siblings-in-law but idk about close friends. there’s wen qing, and they have mutual respect and also of course gay lesbian solidarity, but also top requirement for lwj having a friend like this, surely, is that he can potentially get a second opinion on Feelings instead of just doing internal suffering. which you cannot discuss with the mildly terrifying best friend of the subject of said feelings. mianmian is a great option but really she can’t be expected to befriend every sect heir who is bad at expressing themselves socially, surely one is enough

Mitski songs that remind me of enhypen members🌟

Heeseung- 'Why didn't you stop me?'

Not sure why but when I hear it, I think of heeseung🤔. It just goes well with him.

Jay - 'Nobody'

I think it just suits him, the lyrics have a deep meaning and when the song comes on it reminds me of jay :).

Jake- 'Me and my husband'

It just gives me the "happy life" vibes🤷 jake is very energetic and always smiles it's so sweet.

Sunghoon - 'A pearl '

On the outside everyone see's Sunghoon as a cold and introverted person. But we all really know he's much more than that, he's actually pretty soft and I think this song represents that very well.

Sunoo - 'I bet on loosing dogs '

Sunoo is so gentle,peaceful,and just precious. the song just sounds like his whole personality.

Jungwon - 'Washing machine heart'

The song is about a person wanting to be there for someone even if that person doesn't want them. As the leader Jungwon is always there for all the members no matter what. He always tries to cheer them up it's so sweet😭

Ni-ki - 'Two slow dancers'

Ni-ki is so young and it feels like he's growing so fast, the song is about slowing down time and enjoying the moment while you can. I think you can put 2 and 2 together💛

I'll stick to my single-log bridge until it's dark

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