just imagine how stressed the jl would be after finding out that bruce has a biological son. he's batman, so of course, he's not going to get laid, right? then he introduces the new robin that acts and looks a lot like him and the jl malfunctions
Diana: So, he's not adopted?
Bruce: No, he's my son
Clark: How did you? How can you? How did this happen?
Hal: What Clark's trying to ask is, how did you get laid?
Clark: Especially with you brooding all the time
Bruce: It just happened
Diana: *Picks up Damian* He's quite cute
Damian, about to stab Diana: I am not cute
Diana, who is used to kids with a sword due to being raised on Themyscira: Oh and he's a warrior by heart
Married in Red
Sentient Mystery Shack, who is really biased towards Stan, so when Ford tells Stan he has to give it back after the summer it’s on sight.
Ford keeps tripping over nothing, nothing is where it's supposed to be and somehow he keeps running into closets when he tries to go outside.
But the worst part, the WORST part is that Ford's lightbulb just won't. Work. No matter what he does it keeps flickering and exploding.
Ford is spiraling.
There is no reason why it shoudln’t work. All his trial runs work perfectly. He’s already checked the Shacks wiring three times and relearned this dimensions science from the ground up.
Nothing works.
The Rift? Bill? The impending apocalypse? Eating? Sleep? Who cares about that.
WHY. WONT. THE. LIGHTBULB. WORK???
It doesn’t help that Stan keeps laughing at him.
“Then you do it!” Ford eventually snaps at Stan.
Stan shrugs and with a little song under his breath screws his own lightbulb it. It works perfectly.
Stanford screams.
okay so there were a ton of posts/fics about the hilarious "fuck/maryy/kill" Bruce Wayne & Justice League scenario (I read them all, amazing comedic timing y'all) but to me, the most hilarious scenario is the JL play fuck/marry/kill, Bruce's name comes up, and half of the people in the room in the know immediately turn bright red and refuse to keep playing and no one will explain why.
Hal: "...and I would fuck Bruce Wayne. No, I would kill him. Nah, actually I'd fuck him, who am I kidding."
Clark: choking on his coffee and rapidly turning an alarming shade of red
Diana: "An....interesting choice, of course."
J'onn: "Shall we play a different game?"
Hal: "Wait, what? that was the game, wasn't it?"
Ollie: "I'm with Hal, I'd fuck the shit out of Bruce. He's the easiest guy I know, it's not like it'll exactly be a hardship for him."
*every single person in the room turns to Batman, standing in the corner*
Clark: "Wow! I think I just heard someone drop an ice cream cone in Guatemala. Batman, I'll need a team up."
Ollie: "For ice cream?"
Diana, standing up and putting herself in between Bruce and Hal: "This sounds dire. I will also assist."
Clark, under his breath, one hand on Bruce's back: "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Come on. Walk it off."
my dear Da-jeong
forgotten confession..
Can you really call them your "Favorite Character" if you don't make alternate timelines where they just get abused and traumatized left and right with no comfort?
what stanley is doing is NOT Safe For Work. very unsafe work practice shown. please do Not attempt
the post this is based on under the cut