Not My Gay Ass Becoming Utterly Obsessed With Rizzles In 2023 - I Mean, This Kind Of Queerbaiting Is

adult life is crazy because you can be going through the most devastating and heartbreaking things while still having to go to work and do the laundry and grocery shopping

Dear Lord, watching season 1 episode 6 of Rizzoli and Isles is reaaally a lot to stomach for my little lesbian heart 😳 I mean, Maura and Jane basically being flirty and wifey all.the.time and going undercover together in a lesbian bar where Jane is just casually fake-dating WOMEN?! And I mean, that'sJane with her husky voice and overall gay demeanor - like gaaah how shall I be expected to cope?!

Me starting season 2 of Rizzoli & Isles: Well, surely this show can't get any more gay! Plot twist: It absolutely can :)

not gonna lie, every wes anderson movie gives me exactly this vibe

I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames

"Seasick" - Shipping Rizzles on a Lesbian Cruise

Title of Fic: "Seasick"

Author: Sybilia

Fandom/Pairing: "Rizzoli & Isles", Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli ("Rizzles")

TW: /

Rating: M

Synopsis: Angela Rizzoli wins a 7-day-vacation on a cruise across the Caribbean and wants her daughter, detective Jane Rizzoli, to come with her. But shortly before the ship's departure, Angela suddenly declares that she is feeling unwell and can't come on the cruise. This leaves Jane with her best friend, brilliant and nerdy Medical Examiner Maura Isles, as the "plus-one".

But when her and Maura enter the ship, Jane quickly comes to the conclusion that something on the "Olivia" smells - well, fishy? (sorry for the double entendre, lol). Not only are there solely women on the ship - the women all seem to be very interested in the same sex. Jane is mortified, especially when Maura points out that as the winner of the cruise drive, Jane is legally obligated to stick to the release she signed, which inlcudes leading various group activitites, posing for pictures and the like.

Jane would rather just up and leave but lets herself be convinced into staying (does she even have a choice, for real?). So, our two favorite Bostonians find themselves in an extremely gay environment, surrounded by hundreds of lesbians, and have to pretend being a couple as soon as they leave their cabin on the ship to participate in the various activitites and competitions going on.

But Jane would not be Jane without her competitive streak and she soon finds herself wanting to be the "Queen of all Lesbians", as the winner of the games is called. This leads to some pretty hilarious events like her participating in a "Lick clean an ice-cream bowl"-contest or a "penetrate donuts with a dildo on a harness strapped to your waist"-competition.

It does not only sound funny and weird as heck, it is! The wonderful thing about this fic is that there are multiple wonderful things, to be honest. The plot is so clever and original that you don't want Rizzles to leave that lesbian cruise ship ever again. But then we also have the beautiful, very accurate depiction of Maura and Jane who are written in character so very well by this crazily talented writer. The descriptions, be it of the games or the ship or the tourist destinations, are done in great detail and serve to make this story even more outstanding. Aaand as the special cherry on top, we also get the authors's OCs and all of them are utterly PRICELESS! We have former Wimbledon Champion, the unapologetically gay and deliciously unhinged Millie-Joyce Ming, famous singer and surprisingly tame diva Beata Frankenmeier and "Big Carl" Carla Timmons, another police officer ready for a good time among fellow lesbians.

And in the middle of this spicily sapphic ship, we have Maura and Jane, both secretly already harboring more than just platonic feelings for one another... but will they finally be courageous enough to admit their blossoming love for each other and go from "fake girlfriends" to "real couple"?

I cannot stress this often enough: READ THIS MASTERPIECE!! It is so wholesome and brilliant and great fun and romantic and wild and creative and had me laugh out loud in public again and again because the humor is simply impeccable. Read it. You won't regret it.

Also, make sure to check out the writer's other two stories, "Constant Companion" and "Seasick"'s sequel, "Cherry Grove", they are equally awesome!!

Help girl I'm finally alone with my thoughts and I don't like it

the ao3 servers are apparently ‘stressed’ but not as stressed as me now i have no fics to read and might have to wait hours to read them

We’re so married.

Jane rubbing Maura's back soothingly and showing off her chess skills so she can impress Maura... and the way Maura looks at Jane afterwards... Rizzles is real <3

I watched this movie today and I can only agree with @lovemadethemdoit wholeheartedly! Yeah, the movie might come across as not "educated" or "sensitive" enough but it is meant for a bigger audience, for the general public where transphobia is sadly still a reaaally big thing, so it's kind of "picking people up where they are" and I think that's important. Personally, I also felt a lot of unease regarding the amount of deadnaming going on, but let's be honest, that is something countless trans people still have to face on a day-by-day basis and the movie IS addressing this issue in a pivotal moment, too (SPOILER ALERT: when Lilli goes missing and her father is searching for her in some kind of big furniture store and trying to call her out over the mic, he uses the deadname first - in the end realizing, that he has been calling "the wrong child", finally accepting his kid's identity somewhat more)

terf and bigots on twitter of course not getting that they are the target group for oskars kleid, not their children 🙄

Why do I feel so called out?