LOOK AT WHAT MY MOOT DID!! GUYS IT LOOKS SO COOL!!

Trying to prove a point to my transphobic parents

Reblog if trans men are REAL, VALID AND HANDSOME MEN, NO MATTER HOW THEY CHOOSE TO PASS

Reblog if trans women are REAL, VALID, AND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, NO MATTER HOW THEY CHOOSE TO PASS

And finally, because it's a part of my argument for this point, and also because they are,

Reblog if nonbinary and genderqueer people in general, are REAL, VALID, AND GORGEOUS PEOPLE, NO MATTER HOW THEY PASS

Unfinished story :P

Sometimes I think I can still hear it.

The sound of ink dripping off the walls and vanishing into those dark puddles. The sound of metal cogs grinding against one another. The sound of creaking floorboards. 

But I know it isn’t real. Of course it isn’t.

It’s day five now. Five days ago I was tearing up at the floorboards above and now?

I can see the light that shines from outside. I can see people’s faces. I can see the warmest brown eyes I’ve ever seen. A familiar pretty face.

Oh how I missed that face. It’s nice to be able to see it again, don’t get me wrong. 

But sometimes, I swear I can see something creeping up on me in the corner of my eye. Always watching, but never drawing near. 

I think it’s worth mentioning I read his book.

The Illusion Of Living? That memoir of Joey Drew?

Bullshit, I tell you. But then…..it definitely gives some folks perspective.

The whole philosophy seemed to belong in that inky nightmare, making itself fit right at home there. But now reading it, it just seems ... .oh what’s the word…ridiculous? 

It’s ridiculous! Hogwash! But so very real. 

I’m real. Well, the sweetheart tells me that anyway.

It’s all still shocking though. All those years trapped in the studio…What am I now? 29? Older? Probably? It’s all fuzzy really. Maybe it’s not even important. 

I got a new fresh start. Sharing a house with Henry and his wife, Linda. Me and the sweetheart are in the second guest room upstairs.

It’s a nice house. Tidy, just how Linda likes it. But it feels so…off. By now, I’m used to those filthy machines and gadgets. 

Henry is nice enough to let me use the sun room to write my articles. Yep, articles.

I work for the paper now as mostly an editor, but still, it’s something. I can work from the house, though Linda thinks it would be a nice idea for me to go outside and get a sense of normalcy.

I respect Linda. She’s smart, wistful and chipper. A loyal one to Henry too. 

But doesn’t she realise that nothing is normal for us anymore? 

Going to work in person would just bring me more tension. And from what I’ve been told, I’m full of it. Still, yes, I do sometimes visit the office. Just to please the sweetheart.

But it’s not always for me. Those stares. Those whispers. Those tiny cautious questions. 

Oh do I wish I could avoid them. 

I sort of dress the same now. White collared shirt, black trousers, belt and leather shoes. Most times I’ll swipe Henry’s fedora. Classy, but doesn’t scream the nines. But getting dressed up feels weird too now. Taking a shower, feeling the warm water, before stepping out and drying myself? It feels off too. It’s like I’m waiting for the water to just..stain me. Like the ink.

But it doesn’t, of course it doesn’t. It’s just fucking water. 

I can’t yell anymore. Sometimes it hurts to talk while other days, it hurts to breathe. 

But I can’t complain. I don’t want to worry anyone. I don’t even deserve being..saved.

GUYS!! I GOT AN AUDITION FOR A PLAY THIS WEEKEND.

WISH ME LUCK!!!

YOU ARE SO MEAN IM CRYING AT HOW SAD THIS IS WHAT THE HECK. ARGH, CASSIDY YOU ARE THE BEST AND THE SWEETEST.

DAMN YOU ROBERT YOU POOR INNOCENT PURE MAN.

Give him back

This story takes place five days after Clifford Conway disappears into the cycle. It follows Robert Conway, Clifford's older brother trying to find out what happened to him. Very sad stuff!

I need to find him. I need to find my brother. He doesn’t just disappear like this. He should’ve come home, it’s been five days now. Sure one day he might have been at Florence’s house or something, but five days? No one just disappears like that. 

I must find him. Someone has to know him, they gotta know where my baby brother went. I need to find him. 

Mom and dad called me, telling me they need me to bring their son home, and that’s what brothers do, we stick to our promises. I must find him. I need to know what happened to him. 

I refuse to believe he’s dead. He can’t be dead. Calling the cops does nothing in this situation, they will look for only a day or so and then give up. I don’t want to risk it. I know my brother better than they ever could. 

I got out of my car, faster than usual. I didn’t care at this point. I needed to find my brother. I pushed the heavy door to the Gent building open, looking around for anyone to talk to. 

Sure enough, Florence was there at her desk, she looked a bit sad. I didn’t blame her. She was fond of Clifford. 

“Florence!” I said her name as I approached her desk, slightly out of breath because I was in a rush. 

She looked up at me, her eyes were full of sadness, I knew she knew something happened to Clifford.

“Robert? What are you doing here?” She asked, her voice wasn’t cheerful like it usually was. 

“I need your help, I need to find Clifford. He’s missing.”

“Missing? Like actually missing?” She sounded surprised. 

“Yes! I need you to help me find him! You have to help me, Florence.” 

I looked at her with pleading eyes. 

“I can see what I can do. I can’t shake the feeling something bad happened to him. He hasn’t come into work in days.”

“Nor has he come home.” I replied, glancing over at the door briefly. 

“I can see if some of the workers know where he last was.”

I followed her, we went out into the back, the place was a lot different, something felt weird about the place. I don’t know what it was, I couldn’t shake the feeling of something creeping up my spine the entire time. 

Florence asked around, most employees shook their heads. None of them knew where he was. Some had no idea who he was either. 

I felt horrible. 

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna ask some other employees around, come back tomorrow if I don’t come back sooner, alright?” Florence said. She held out her keycard. I decided to walk around. 

Perhaps he’d be working overtime or something? No that’s stupid. He would have to have came home. 

I wandered around the building, trying my best to ignore the strange looks I kept getting from other employees. I thought 

Then I thought I saw him in the hallway, his jet black hair just like it used to look, slightly messy and fluffy. He turned to face me, a blank expression.

“It’s too late.” was all he said before he vanished. I felt a chill run down my spine. What does that mean? This place is making me go crazy isn’t it?

I suddenly noticed a hard hat on the ground, ink was dripping from a pipe above. 

I grabbed the hard hat, flipping it over to find a picture of Clifford and I taped inside it. 

I looked around the area, the ink puddle on the floor, the tools scattered. Some of the ink looked like it was smeared across the floor. 

“No…no no no.” I muttered. I held the hard hat close to my chest. 

I had to go back, maybe I could find something at the front desk. I couldn’t stand in this room anymore. Something felt horribly wrong. Why was I seeing things? That ink…it was scaring me.

I got out of there with the hard hat. I had to leave this place. I don’t know why but I had to leave. My brother was gone, I couldn’t keep searching. It just lead me in circles. 

I returned to the entrance. On Florence’s desk, I noticed something. A note, it had Clifford’s number on it with a heart drawn beside it. I grabbed the note. I knew my brother wasn’t coming back.

I didn’t want to believe it was true, but it was. I gave up hope. I stared at the picture, running my thumb over Clifford’s face. 

“I’m so sorry, Cliff.” I muttered. I was suddenly startled by a man with a black coat walking in. He was well dressed, but something was weird about him. 

It was like I was looking at death itself almost. 

“Are you waiting for someone?” He asked. I shook my head.

“No. Do you know a man by the name of Clifford Conway? He’s my brother. He has been missing for five days. He worked here and was last seen here.”

The man shook his head. I didn’t know it at the time but this was no random man, it was Alan Gray, CEO of Gent. I hate him with a burning passion. 

He took my brother from me, I blame him for my brother’s disappearance. 

“No. I do not know a Clifford Conway. Have you checked with the secretary?” 

“I did. She went to go find some other employees to talk to. She said I could come back tomorrow if she wasn’t back soon.”

“I hope you find your brother.” The man replied. He didn’t sound concerned at all. I watched him walk away as if my brother’s disappearance was a common thing that happened to Gent employees. 

I clenched my jaw a little. I started walking towards the door, and then out to my car. Time just seemes to stop when you find out a loved one is gone. 

I don’t know how to describe the feeling. It’s like someone took part of you and never gave it back. 

I sat in my car, placing Clifford’s hard hat and the note in the back seat. I didn’t want to look at it. It hurt too much to do so. 

I looked out the window of the Gent building, the place gave me an uneasy feeling, I had never felt that feeling before when I went there to visit Clifford. 

Was I going mad? Is that why I kept seeing my brother everywhere? I don’t believe in ghosts, I am not superstitious either, but I remembered hearing that when a person you love dies that you are close to, sometimes you can hallucinate them being there. It probably is one of the many reasons why people believe in ghosts. 

I don’t know if that’s what I am experiencing but it scares me regardless. It feels like I am being haunted by something I could’ve prevented.

I started my car, hoping that maybe going for a drive would help. But when I turned around to back up, I saw Clifford in the backseat. He looked at me. 

I nearly jumped out of my skin. I rubbed my eyes and he was gone. That was probably the worst hallucination. 

I looked back at the back seat a few times. My heart was racing. I was panicking. I needed to drive, I need to call Cassidy. I needed to just get out of here. 

But I couldn’t move. I just broke down crying. I never felt like this before in my life. It was so scary. I was sad and panicking all at once. I knew it had to be a mental breakdown, but I never had one before so it was hard to tell. 

It was like a panic attack, but worse. 

I clutched the steering wheel tightly, trying to stop sobbing. Big brother’s don’t cry, we are supposed to be the tough ones, the strong ones who protect our siblings. But…I failed Clifford. 

I didn’t come to save him. Whatever happened to him, I will never know. I knew someone who would know this feeling, Cassidy. Her sister disappeared back in 46’. I don’t know what happened to her either. 

I knew I had to call her. It had started to rain, almost like the sky was crying with me.

I pulled out of the spot I parked, trying to focus as best I could on something other than my brother. I wiped the tears out of my eyes so I could see. 

Usually driving helped get my mind off of things, but I couldn’t stop thinking. My mind wouldn’t shut up. 

I was relived I reached the phone booth at last after driving for what felt like an eternity, however it was only a few minutes. 

I got out of my car, running into the phone booth so I didn’t get soaked. It’s not that I’d care, it’s just I need to get my emotions out.

Cassidy was always a good listener. She was a smart girl, unlike how some thought. Some thought she was just a boy crazy fool. But not my Cassie, she was much more than that. 

Maybe it was stupid of me to think about how much I loved her now, but I couldn’t help it. She made me feel better. 

I dialed her number, leaning against the wall of the booth, relieved when I heard her sweet voice on the other end.

“Hey, Cassie.” I said softly, I knew she could tell I had been crying by the sound of my voice. “A lot has happened. Do you mind if I tell you?”

“Of course. Robbie, are you okay? You sound like you’ve been crying.”

I went quiet, my heart ached in my chest. I took a deep breath, my breathing was far from steady. 

“My brother…he’s gone missing. I think something bad happened to him. I went to try and find him. I might come back tomorrow in case Florence, the secretary girl, knows anything new about his disappearance. I found his hard hat.” 

I heard Cassie gasp on the other end. 

“Oh my gosh! Robert! That’s horrible!”

“Cassie, please, don’t be upset. It’s going to be okay.” I don’t know why I was trying to comfort her, I just didn’t want her to be upset as I was. 

“Robbie, I know you don’t like me being upset, but I am! I loved your brother like family!” 

“I know you did…” I replied quietly. The rain seemed to be pouring down a lot harder now.

“Do you want to come over and talk to me about it? It might be easier.” 

“I’d love that.” I replied, feeling a sad smile on my lips. 

“I will be outside on the porch. Watching the rain is nice.” She replied, I could practically hear the smile in her voice. 

“I love you, Cassie.” 

I never told her that before. But I did love her, truly I did. I knew Clifford would’ve teased the hell out of me for saying that in a phone booth and not in person. 

She was quiet for a moment. I knew she had to process what I said.

“I love you, too, Robert. I really do!” 

“I know now isn’t really the best time to admit that, but I do.”

“Oh don’t feel bad about it. I don’t think Clifford would hate you for confessing your love after he’s gone. He’d be proud you finally said something.” 

I blinked back tears, swallowing my sorrows. 

“I should go. I’ll be there soon, alright?”

“Alright, I’ll see you soon, Robbie.” 

With that she hung up, I did the same. I felt hands shaking. So much happened. I got out of the phone booth, running back to my car. I got in, looking behind me to find only Clifford’s hard hat sitting there, along with the sticky note to Florence.

I was hesitant to start driving again. I didn’t know what to do. 

I eventually started driving again. I drove in silence, no radio on. I needed it to be quiet. The rain reminded me of the rainstorms my brother was afraid of when he was little. 

I’d always tell him to stop whining. I felt bad now for saying that. But I was just a kid too.

I reached Cassidy’s house. She was sitting alone on the porch. I got out of my car, running over to her. 

“I’m here!”

Cassidy smiled sympathetically. She hugged me, pulling me out of the rain. I just broke down crying in her arms. As much as I remained stoic and seemed tough, I wasn’t afraid to cry. It is part of being human. 

Cassidy put her arms around me, she held me tightly, nothing but pure love in her embrace. I felt slightly calmer with her. She understood exactly how I felt. 

“Oh Robert. It’s going to be okay.”

I let go of her, she wiped the tears from my eyes. 

“I don’t know what to do.”

Cassidy brushed her thumb across my cheek. 

“I know that feeling. When my sister died, I felt the same way. I was lost. You remember the nights I cried nonstop, right?”

I nodded slowly. 

“Of course. I felt so useless then. I couldn’t do anything to make you feel better.”

“I know. But you did so much for me. You took me out of the house, went on walks. It helped me not drown in sorrow.”

I was happy I helped, but still, I was too upset. 

“It’s okay to talk about your feelings. My mom always told me that. If you don’t open up you’ll just be sad all the time.”

She sat down on the dry step, staring out onto the street. I sat beside her. She put her hand on top of mine, I sighed heavily. It sounded nice to listen to the rain falling. 

“I just wonder if Charlie and Clifford’s deaths were connected. That ink stuff Charlie used to talk about was in the workshop too…” I said suddenly, I scraped my nails against the wood of the porch at the mention of the ink. It was for some reason scary to me. 

I was just ink. It was just ink. That’s what I had to keep telling myself. But something darker was happening under the surface.It had to be. 

“You might be onto something.” 

“But there is nothing we can do now…” I replied dimly.

“Oh but there is something we can do. We can remember them and let their memory live on.”

Cassidy squeezed my hand. I looked over at her slightly surprised. 

“I suppose you’re right. We can do that.”

She leaned against me more. I know this would not be easy to get over. I don’t think I’ll ever get over my brother. But Cassie and I understood each other, and we would stay alive for our siblings. 

It’s the least we can do.

BONUS BECAUSE I AM EVIL >:D

I hadn’t been able to go to sleep properly. Not tonight, my brain keeps thinking. But yet somehow I cannot tell if I fell asleep or not. It all feels the same. 

I had woken up, or maybe I didn’t. Everything felt like a dream at this point. Maybe that’s what it was. Maybe it was all a bad dream. 

I was back in my bed, it’s cold in the basement of my childhood home. 

There is a shadow at the end of the bed. Why is it staring at me? Why are its eyes yellow? Why does it look like him? 

“I’m so sorry, Clifford. I failed you.” I muttered into the dark. The shadow shook its head.

“No you didn’t. You didn’t fail me. Don’t blame yourself for my death.” 

I knew this wasn’t real. But it felt slightly better knowing I shouldn’t blame myself.

“This isn’t real, is it?” I asked. Clifford shook his head. 

“No. I’m not real. Can you promise me, if you ever have children, don’t let them work for Gent?”

I was going to ask why, but I didn’t.

“I won’t let them work there, I promise.”

“Good. Now wake up.” 

Sure enough after he told me to wake up, I did. I woke up in a cold sweat. 

I put my head in my hands and cried. Even if it was a dream, it felt somewhat real. 

It was some closure. 

Even if it wasn’t real. 

My children will never work for Gent. 

I will never forgive them for taking my brother from me. 

When you have to use your insane little brother as a security guard.

Happy birthday to @creationandcalamityau 's oc Charlie Forester!

In our crossover Au: Forgotten Creations, she and Hudson have a sibling-like relationship! (They aren't blood siblings.)

Happy (super) late Birthday to the amazing artist Fishymom! Sorry, I know it's SO LATE. Not happy how I drew my Alice, oh well. I hope they like this cause it did take me some time.

Your latest drawing has me curious (besides it being beautiful as usual). Who is your favorite band/singer? I know you’ve said you like retro, so do you listen to mostly older music? :3

(Thank you!!)

I do have a couple of singers/bands I like, for example:

Caravan Palace

AJR

Rare Americans

MISSIO

I do also like listening to 20's-40's music as I find it interesting!

If I were to pick a genre of music I really like: it would be electric swing! (I got into this genre when I watched Lackadaisy XD)

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU AHHHHH I LOVE THIS THIS IS AMAZING

May I please hug Melody?

Sure, although Melody isn't the biggest fan of touch.

PLEASE!

THE BOOPS

TURN THEM ON!

I WANTS TO BOOP YOU

lol not sure how this works, but okay-

Boop mode: ON

bill danton has been ✨completely forgotten✨ XD

Sort of? The thing is: when I make a ship and I don't find it interesting enough, I drop it

The reason why the Ray x Hudson ship is coming off strong is because I have someone playing as Ray, which can lead to all sorts of surprises to me and encourage the ship

Thanks to Moth, of course as they are awesome like that!