My Friend Was Testing Perfumes Out At The Store And She Sniffed A Bottle And Anounced "ngl This Bitch

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

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1 year ago
Completelt Forgot Abt This LMAO

completelt forgot abt this LMAO

it was abt the episode cupid ye

4 years ago

You’ve heard of elf on a shelf??? brace yourselves for

You’ve Heard Of Elf On A Shelf??? Brace Yourselves For
1 year ago
Sanrio Park ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

sanrio park ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

4 years ago

Can you hear me sobbing

4 years ago
Happy Grandparents Day From Pixar’s Coco!
Happy Grandparents Day From Pixar’s Coco!
Happy Grandparents Day From Pixar’s Coco!
Happy Grandparents Day From Pixar’s Coco!

Happy Grandparents Day from Pixar’s Coco!

4 years ago

Great Pretender Artbreeder

Great Pretender Artbreeder
Great Pretender Artbreeder
Great Pretender Artbreeder
Great Pretender Artbreeder

makoto was the hardest not gonna lie

5 years ago

We abducted humans.

To be fair, we abducted members of every new race. Abduct a small percentage of the population, expose them to some galactic prisoners, and we get a good idea of what germs, diseases, and viruses will make the jump between races. Do this over the course of a [roughly equivalent to a century], and you get a good idea of what there is, how quickly it mutates, etc. You also have the time to develop vaccines for any races that might be affected by the new race (including itself- we’re not heartless).

But we underestimated humans.

It was [roughly equivalent to four decades] into our testing of humanity. We picked up a human from his transport and placed him in a containment cell. He had some nutrients with him, and we picked that up too: less we had to feed him later.

But we underestimated the resourcefulness of humans.

Something went wrong- we think it was a door malfunction- and he escaped the cell. He disabled the guards easily (we suspect they were less alert than they should have been) and took their weapons. We locked all hatches, hoping to seal him in the laboratory wing. Unfortunately, he hacked the shipboard computer, gaining control of all systems. He made his way to the bridge, where he took the captain hostage. We offered him riches, technologies beyond human understanding.

But we underestimated the stubbornness of humans.

He was paid us no mind as he wrestled with the controls, as if on some quest. He punched numbers and figures into the console, and mumbled something about ‘being lit on fire’ by a superior. He set the ship down on the other side of the city from where he was picked up and opened the doors. We braced ourselves for a military confrontation, but it seemed like we were outside another human’s abode. He jumped out, carrying the nutrients with him.

We underestimated Domino’s 30-minute or free guarantee.

2 years ago
The Special Relationship Is As Strong As Ever, Lads

the special relationship is as strong as ever, lads

5 years ago

I feel like the usage of the term “crack ship” has changed. When I think “crack ship”, I don’t think ‘these two characters have good chemistry and would be good together, but it’s not going to happen, so it’s crack", I think Loki/Gordon Ramsay

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unrecommendedforyou - NOT kicking the baby
NOT kicking the baby

just binging south park

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