Y’all Get Mad At Jessica - The Black Woman Doing Her Job And Trying To Hold The Multiverse Together

I feel like how every alien species sees the humans in the “humans are spaces orcs” cannon is how we rate Chinese restaurants: 3.5 stars; gets shit done better than everyone else, but a nightmare to work with.

“5 stars: if it wasn’t for Dave, I wouldn’t see my wife again, I’m forever in his debt”

“1 star: the human offered me a ‘Dorito’ and we had to call poison control, I’m still in the hospital”

“5 stars: These little murder monkeys work really hard and all i have to do is feed them high grade nuclear weaponry”

“1 star: every time I learn more on what hell hole my human colleague was born in the more i feel my sanity fade away”

i always mean it when i say i love you btw

OHHHHH SHIT

I RANDOMLY LOOKED UP WHAT TEAMS THE MERCS ARE CANONICALLY ON, AND I FOUND A SUPPORTED THEORY THAT LITERALLY DESTROYS HOW MOST OF THE TUMBLR FANDOM PERCIEVES TF2

https://www.reddit.com/r/tf2/comments/88d9zo/theory_are_the_mercenaries_of_red_and_blu_the/

something something the poetry of science etc

Scout is the type of guy to go up to soldier and tell him to punch him as hard as he can in the face just to see if he can take it, alright? or tell medic to replace his lungs with bigger ones just to see how much longer he can go on with running, just to see, y’know?

He wants to prove that he can take it all. He is the one jumping up and down hand raised at the chance to be a test subject for any of the team’s dangerous stunts. He was the type of kid to be thrown into the pool by his older brothers only to run back and tell them to do it again, to throw him further. He would’ve been the type of kid that broke his leg and didn’t tell his ma because he figured it wasn’t a big deal and he had a baseball game to finish anyway! He would 100% come back to the base after a morning jog, bleeding and covered in wounds because oh yeah he got attacked by a coyote during his run, only to sit down and eat breakfast without a care in the world.

I’m tired of the “scout has low pain tolerance” and “scout is afraid of medic” (along with the other mercs) trend

Like, you think the youngest of eight brothers wouldn’t walk off a jaw shattering punch to the face?? You think the guy who runs in-between bullets would fold immediately after being skimmed in the arm?? The man literally runs head first into danger and you’re gonna tell me he has low pain tolerance?? HE’S THE ONE ACTIVELY RUNNING INTO IT!! He was shot in the stomach by a robot and literally didn’t complain about it despite the fact he was actively dying!!

Like I get the joke of him being good against terrible mounts of pain but folding at something like a paper cut but I’m tired of people saying he wouldn’t be able to handle himself from a sizable injury despite the fact that’s an expectation of his job.

And none of the mercs hate medic or are scared of him, I’m tired of seeing that discussion. Scout, who was the first person after Heavy to get the Uber-transplant heart—you think he’s scared of medic?? that man probably fought tooth and nail to be the first one in there!! he may be childish but he is not a child and im tired of these seemingly child-like traits be assigned to him despite the fact there is evidence against it :,)

He’s just an angel I know. (aziraphale's version || insp.)

I’m tired of the “scout has low pain tolerance” and “scout is afraid of medic” (along with the other mercs) trend

Like, you think the youngest of eight brothers wouldn’t walk off a jaw shattering punch to the face?? You think the guy who runs in-between bullets would fold immediately after being skimmed in the arm?? The man literally runs head first into danger and you’re gonna tell me he has low pain tolerance?? HE’S THE ONE ACTIVELY RUNNING INTO IT!! He was shot in the stomach by a robot and literally didn’t complain about it despite the fact he was actively dying!!

Like I get the joke of him being good against terrible mounts of pain but folding at something like a paper cut but I’m tired of people saying he wouldn’t be able to handle himself from a sizable injury despite the fact that’s an expectation of his job.

And none of the mercs hate medic or are scared of him, I’m tired of seeing that discussion. Scout, who was the first person after Heavy to get the Uber-transplant heart—you think he’s scared of medic?? that man probably fought tooth and nail to be the first one in there!! he may be childish but he is not a child and im tired of these seemingly child-like traits be assigned to him despite the fact there is evidence against it :,)

nothing gets me more heated than people saying it’s weird when other players have a female tav that romances astarion because he’s “obviously gay.”

a man being flamboyant =/= gay. astarion has expressed attraction to all genders, and it is canon that he is pansexual. equating “flamboyant” to “gay” can can be harmful so please stop.

i know this is just a video game and some stupid online discourse, but it’s so frustrating to see people spewing bigoted rhetoric and passing it off as some enlightened progressive take.

anyway love scout he’s such a lil guy to me

wanna study him like he’s a lil lizard

Could go on a rant about how much I love the dynamics of all the mercs but I won’t cause we’d be here for ages