unwanted-house-guest - ...........

unwanted-house-guest

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37 posts

Latest Posts by unwanted-house-guest

unwanted-house-guest
5 days ago
Two Year Later And This Fic Still Has Me By The Balls 😔 And Two Years Later Bats Is Still Fucking

Two year later and this fic still has me by the balls 😔 and two years later Bats is still fucking with the JL

Here's the series by i_go_by_faith / @pinkhamsterarts

Baby Clark and Baby Bruce fic

Part 1

Part 2: hatchlings

Part 3: Let Bats fuck up Hal

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

Damian gets sick for the first time after going to the manor and immediately reverts to the sad little kid that he used to be whenever he got sick back at the loa, complete with sniffles and wanting his big brother to comfort him.

-

Eyes welling up slightly, Damian sniffed before shuffling forward and pushing the bedroom door open, letting light from the hall spill across the room, illuminating where Jason was passed out across the bed, star-fishing on his stomach and half covered by a blanket. Sniffing again through his blocked nose, he raised a fist to scrub at his tired eyes and opened his mouth.

He coughed pathetically. “Todd. Todd.”

Jason shifted in his sleep, but did not wake. A whine slipped out of Damian’s throat.

“To-odd,” He coughed again. “Wake up.”

Jason’s eyes pressed together tighter as he gradually came to consciousness, immediately rejecting the light pressing against his closed eyelids before he cracked them open, squinting in confusion. “…What…. Dami..?”

“Todd.” He demanded. Jason woke up properly this time, blinking rapidly to get used to the light and lifting his head slightly, staring at the younger in pure bafflement. Damian sniffed again, looking at the floor as he continued, “I threw up…” Another sniff, and he wiped his nose on his pyjama sleeve. “I require assistance.”

Jason’s mouth dropped open. It shut again, before opening, and then seeming to flap open and shut a few more times before he finally settled on asking, cluelessly, “…Where’d you throw up?”

“Next to my bed.”

Eyes narrowed in even more incredulity. “Y-your bed at the manor?”

He nodded his head sadly, and Jason let his head faceplant back into his pillow.

Muffled, barely audible, Damian heard; “You threw up at the manor and decided to come to Crime Alley to tell me about it?!”

Damian hiccuped, nodding his head even though Jason couldn’t see it. Eyes becoming wet again, he whined indignantly, “I wanted Ahki!”

Jason groaned loudly. After a moment, he thumped the mattress next to his head in frustration before resignedly pushing himself up and getting to his feet.

“You’re damn lucky you’re fucking cute, habibi.” He muttered tiredly, reaching over to grab one of Damian’s slightly sweaty hands as he walked past, heading straight to the front door of his safehouse. “Come on then.”

Damian sniffed miserably, nodding as he walked with his brother.

-

and that was how Bruce found out that 1: Damian was sick, and 2: Jason fucking Todd was still alive and in Gotham

going to get a glass of water at 3AM to find Damian stood in his bedroom’s doorway, watching Jason, who was wearing nothing but a pair of sweats, knelt on Damian’s bedroom floor with a bunch of cleaning supplies, faithfully cleaning up Bruce’s youngest son’s vomit.

“What.”

Jason glanced up at him, rinsing a rag in the tub of water next to him. “Yeah, yeah, I fucking know. Look B-, kid has the flu. It’s three AM. Can you just go get a bowl to put by his bed and leave this reunion shit for tomorrow?”

Jaw dropped, Bruce glanced down at his youngest, who scuffed his feet and hiccuped again.

“I don’t feel well…” He borderline whispered, sniffing. “I wanted Ahki.”

“I’m here kiddo,” Jason sighed, scrubbing the carpet. “Let me finish this and then I’ll make tea and read to you, alright?”

Damian nodded pathetically. Bruce blinked. It was too early for this.

“Which bowl should I get…?”

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

Ghost chirps au but instead of the cute little bird songs and peeps it’s just-

“CAW”

Like a giant crow or flock of crows if there’s more than one ghost. Danny being able to gather all of Gotham’s crows, as a giant army because he sounds like them.

Crows: Who tf are you

Danny: CAW

Crows: Say less homie

He’s named every last one of them and has trained them all to pick locks and steal. He’s respected by the crows because he’s the only one with dexterous hands. If they can’t open something they call in the big guns (AKA Danny) Like imagine being a Gothamite and watching a enormous flock of crows seemingly summoning a scrawny child out nowhere to unlock a dumpster? Like they’re crowding around him like he’s the messiah, a god even and they all just squawk in unison when the kid pulls out a bobby pin and picks the padlock. They’re dropping, coins, bottle caps, earrings, bullet shells, anything vaguely shiny and the occasional paper money into his hands.

The kid has a necklace of soda tabs and bottle cap earrings. He also just walks around collecting beer bottles and later sells little glass statues that have a bioluminescent glow (HC that Danny can melt and shape glass with weaker ecto blasts) Glowing glass jewelry is weaved into his hair that is seemingly a identity confirmation for the crows.

Nobody knows the kids name he just showed up one day with his massive army of crows and started to wander. After around a month of the kid wandering around without a care in the world and not dying the locals decide “Huh, I guess crow prince is here to stay,” Like, they accept him as a local cryptid.

Like “Yeah, crow king just kind of vibes but if you give him food, he’ll bash in a pedophiles kneecaps,”

Shit goes down When Danny discovers his chirps can also sound like geese.

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

this reminded me of Hot Fuzz but Gotham Version.

At least Jim Gordon and Bruce Wayne won't let him be reassigned again. If Bats looked into him, they'd probably get a whiplash. This is perhaps a more successful Dick Grayson. Feral but had quips and jokes,check. Kid hero, check. Police work, check. Actually cleaned up the police force.... Dick probably could just show up and burst through the door and just hug Danny. Practically begging as he asks how, to teach him or something how to clean up Bludhaven police force... He tried but can't.

I'd assume his main nemesis in this case is the Court of Owls. I imagine, rather than being docile in his presence, Talons go feral, rabin and cannibalistic. Like, they never had enough ectoplasm and there's a walking pure source right there. Danny also has a team to protect and can't be too reckless fighting Talons, he has to defend them as well.

GOTHAM'S SWAT TEAM

Inspired by this post

For the longest time, the kids of Amity Park always thought that the police is a fictional job. Like, sure. They have a sheriff but it's like saying because there are knights there must also be wizards.

Well, there were real wizards. Danny accidentally encounters some of them while going around the Ghost Zone. Not like Freakshow type of wizard. A real wizard. The type that spends their day in their room reading and experimenting.

So that beg the question, is the police real? And Danny goes out on a hunt for a police ghost. And it isn't even that hard. Asking around the ghosts that are once human, Danny easily finds legit police officers and asks them questions.

That discovery blows his mind. Collecting enough evidence, Danny shares his finding with his friends. Everyone brushes him off saying he is faking it and is just trying to gain attention, even Wes doesn't believe him and he is supposed to be the crazy one.

It is until Mr. Lancer himself confirms that police officers are real that they realize Danny wasn't lying. After that, his focus immediately changed. From becoming an astronaut to becoming a police officer. And surprisingly, it is a lot easier to be a police officer than to be an astronaut.

Him being a "meta" also doesn't pose any problem as a new program from being pushed by the FBI. Danny is pretty sure the police and FBI don't get along that well but it's not his problem.

Danny is very good at his job. Almost all of his cases get solved or at least reached a very reasonable conclusion. No matter what job he gets assigned to, he easily solves them. Investigation, car chase, emergency. Literally anything.

But there is one single flaw about Danny. He hates politics. Like he would rather spend his summer with Vlad than take or give bribes. That makes it hard for him to rise in ranks and gain a higher position. Not like Danny is really gunning for it anyway.

But that also doesn't last long, Danny finds out about corruption in his police department and reports it immediately. Surprisingly, the head department himself is involved in the corruption. The head department tries to send people to assassinate him but Danny is Danny. He takes down all the assassins and manages to make them confess to their crime.

With them being caught, the head department also gets captured. But still, it is politics, so Danny is transferred away in the name of promotion.

And that is how he officially gets the position as the captain of the Swat team at Gotham. The first time he gets deployed is to stop a gang fight between someone named Two face and Black Mask.

That night, the Gothamites swear that the one in the SWAT suit is not a human. He rushes through the gun fires and avoids each bullet like they are some snowballs someone throws. 15 minutes. That is what some of the goons say. That is the amount of time for the SWAT team to take them down.

Their efficiency rivals even the bats. Except for the death that is caused by the earlier shootout, no one dies after the SWAT team arrives. Black Mask and Two Face are captured that night and for the first time, the police captures the rogues without any of the bats help.

The news goes around fast and soon almost everyone knows that there is a new SWAT team captain. For the first time, the reputation of the police department rose. But for GCPD, it is the busiest and most scary month for them.

All the police officers at GCPD agreed to one thing. If you catch the attention of the SWAT team, get ready to go to jail. So far, no one has managed to escape his sight except those that are truly clean. One after another, police officers get captured and replaced. At some point, there are even some rich people that are captured.

Commissioner Gordon stares at the list of police officers at GCPD. He is stunned since he doesn't even know how the captain of the SWAT team does it. Almost all the police here are the clean ones, while the rest are people with non major problems like lazy or incompetent. Gordon looks at the name of the SWAT team and stares at the name of the Captain.

Daniel James Fenton

A normal name for an extraordinary young man. Looking at his past records shows a young man with excellent work ethics with impressive capabilities. If Gordon is to retire one day, he hopes that Danny will take his place.

Suddenly, an alarm goes off. There is a breakout at Arkham. Just as he is about to order his team to move, the SWAT team van rushes out of the building with an impressive feat.

Danny is really having the time of his life. His core that is screaming for him to protect people has been nourishing in Gotham. From him removing the corrupt police officers, all the way to him taking down gangs. All of it is helping him. It does really help that he can speak to ghosts and be ghosts himself.

As Danny prepares himself for the imminent chase that is about to happen, a ring sounds from his phone. Picking up the call, a loud noise goes out.

Ellie: Daddy, the news says that there is a breakout at Arkham. Is it true?

Danny: Yes, honey. That's why I need you to stay home okay. You remember what you need to do if you are in danger right?

Ellie: Yes! Push the big red button. And the green one if super dangerous.

Danny: Good. Stay home until I finish my job okay?

Ellie: Okay!

Putting down his phone, Danny checks his gear one more time.

Jamal: Your daughter, cap?

Danny: Yeah. She has been trying to get me to bring him to work. You know the GCPD isn't a place I should bring a child to.

Jamal: Oh, for sure. If I had a child, I wouldn't even let them near there.

George: Pft, you don't even have a girlfriend. How can you have a child?

Jamal: Oi! Don't underestimate me. I can easily have a girlfriend if I want to.

Jennifer: Yeah, right. I'd give you 100 bucks if you can have a girlfriend by the end of the year.

Jamal: Aight, bet.

Hans: Cap, I get a report that Joker is nearby. Do we go after him?

Danny: Why do you even need to ask? Let's go bust some clown's ass.

Hans: Roger that.

Hans that is driving, makes a wild turn to the left into a smaller road. Hans is their best driver and knows Gotham roads like the back of his palm. Danny finds him when he busts out a robbery group and had a chase scene with him.

If not for the fact that Danny can fly faster than a car, he wouldn't have been able to catch Hans that night. After pulling some strings, Danny manages to convince Hans to join his SWAT team as the driver.

As the van flies through the road of Gotham, they finally see a white car with a green wig and red nose on the front.

Hans: Cap, we got Joker in our view.

Danny: Release a warning.

Hans taps a few buttons and a microphone falls down from the van ceiling.

Hans: To the car in front. You are ordered to stop right this instant.

Hans put away the microphone fully expecting the car not stopping. And true to his expectation, all he receives is loud laughter and a few gunshots.

Danny: Jamal, shoot them.

Jamal: Roger that.

Kicking open the backdoor, Jamal releases his drones into the sky. The drones fly and turn and suddenly, a barrel comes out of each drone.

Jamal: I got the visual. Firing in 3..2...1.

Ratatatatatatatata

Bullets fly through the sky towards Joker's car as the driver tries to avoid the bullets. Unfortunately, this is not a movie and soon the car crashes to the side as all four of its tires have exploded.

Hans stops the car by the side of the car crash and Danny and his team rushes out. Taking the Joker and his gang out of the smoking car, Danny makes a few calls and a few police cars arrive at the scene.

Danny strips all of Joker's and the gang's equipment down to their underpants and sends them away. Getting back inside the van, Hans continues driving towards the next rouge that has been sighted.

Danny: Strap up boys. It will be a long night.


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unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

Future Son????

It has been a while since I have done an original prompt. So DCxDP prompt #2

Danny gets into a fight with Impulse/Bart about Bart changing the timeline messing things up for Danny and effectively erasing his family, because the change made it so Maddie and Jack never got together. But because of Clockwork sending him on a mission to the past while Bart changed the timeline and the medallion Dan had phased into Danny he remembers the old timeline. Also he has access to his powers but for some reason can’t change into ghost form.

This fight happens in front of the rest of the young justice team. And Nightwing was coming there to teach a training lesson and over hears half of what Danny is shouting.

From Dick’s point of view there is a black haired, blue eyed kid with powers that are suspiciously like a Tamuraneans, yelling at Bart about losing his family because his parents never got together. Also Dick and Kori had recently broken up. (Feel free to make up a reason.)

Due to a misunderstanding Dick is going to help his time displaced “son” adjust to the new reality.

Do I tag people too much? @azulhood @bianca-hooks123 @bloggerspam @confusedshades @dragonsrequiem @evilminji @flamingpudding @fightmebissh @ghostbsuter @hypewinter @help-itrappedmyself @hdgnj @kizzer55555 @menolly5600 @ourrechte-blog @puppetmaster13u @rboooks @starlightcat04 @stormikitty @virgamsysxvolumes @zeestarfishalien @zylev-blog

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

Creative & DIY

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

DP x DC Prompt.

Deadserious

.

>Danny had a problem. He thought he handled it well. He couldn't tell his civillian boyfriend of his half-dead status.

He definitely couldn't let him find out by being summoned by some culty wannabes who wanted to rule the world.

Easy solution: Volunteer to be the sacrifice, turn his eyes green, and act like a Royal prick and powerful being. Get rescued by one of Gothams 50 vigilantes. And claim no memory.

Boom, secret identity underwraps.

He didn't expect everyone to treat him so fragile after.

>

Damian also had a problem. That problem, being his civilian boyfriend, was obviously possessed by a spirit of the ghastly ghost king and was utterly clueless about it.

And it was all his fault.

Danny Fenton was the next June Moore/ Enchantress. Except he was hosting one of the most powerful beings in the universe.

And that lovable idiot had no damn idea about it.

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

Continuing on a bit from this post:

Tim, complaining about Bruce grounding him again: It doesn’t even make sense! It’s like everything I do is a problem now but I’m not doing anything different!

Kon, who thinks a grounding is when you get sent outside to do yard work: Have you tried digging a hole? Like a lot of holes.

Bart, whose punishments are typically doing chores without powers: Or raking leaves?

Cassie, who knows exactly why Tim keeps getting in trouble: … Does Bruce know you’re at Titan Tower?

Tim: No, why?

Cassie: No reason.

***Later that day***

Jason: Why is Tim digging a grave in the front yard?

Dick: He got grounded again.

Jason: So… is it for him or Bruce?

Dick: Not sure yet.

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

Dani knows her options as a homeless runaway are limited. So, sometimes, she likes to leave it. The entire planet, that is.

She likes exploring space. There's so many alien cultures, and as a ghost she can travel very fast. After all, why would a ghost need to obey the laws of physics or thermodynamics?

Small problem though.

She came across a spaceship full of weird goods. It apparently belonged to some merchants, and she was having a little fun digging through their stuff. She didn't know what half of it was, but it looked cool!

The problem happened when she phased through a really weird, super reinforced crate; and found slaves.

Naturally, she freed them. Since none of them had any real combat training, she led the charge to take over the ship and kick the merchant slavers out.

Things...spitballed.

She accidentally got labeled as a Space Pirate, and is wanted by the Lantern Corp.

So why not live up to it?

While Danny and Dan get their educations and do boring hero and everyday life stuff, Dani become one of the most notorious pirates in space. She targets merchant ships and checks for slaves, and if there are any she forces the merchants out in the emergency exit pods and steals their ship.

It's gotten to the point where in just three years, she has a fleet.

She just wears a helmet so that Vlad or Danny or Dan or the GIW doesn't get any ideas and try to hunt her.

Then she gets word about a huge attack on Earth.

And, well...she's from Earth. She may be a wanted criminal, but she isn't about to forget where she came from!

She routes her fleet behind the enemy and launches a surprise attack. She has her people choose their favorite Earth hero and wear their symbol, so that Earth knows who to shoot at and who's trying to help.

Because of the magic users she knows the Justice League has, she can't go ghost around the magicky ones or they'll mess up her groove.

She grabs the heroes, escorts them to the Watchtower, gets in a fight, and is forced to remove her helmet.

The heroes manage to finally activate Earth's defense system.

Meanwhile, Dani finds herself face to face with a Green Lantern, who did have his ring aimed at her, but it's starting to dip to the floor.

"...You can't be older than fifteen. You're a kid?"

"You're...one of Bruce's kids?" Superman asks, voice strained.

Dani decides she doesn't want to deal with this.

Dani drops a smoke bomb/flashbang and books it; she has a ship to get back to.

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

In the Danny is Damian’s brother trope what if instead of Damian not telling the family about Danny wasn’t because of grief or shame or any of the more commonly used reasons for his silence. What if it was because he heard about how his father talked about Jason after his death, focusing and exaggerating the negative. That he was violent, angry, never listened to orders but in some iterations and popular fanon is that Jason was a cheerful and studious Robin.

What if while compiling info and researching the former robins during his tumultuous introduction he saw what kind of robin Jason was, good with kids and victims. Talking about his favorite books while on patrol and similar. Reminding Damian of his most Beloved brother.

Then he finds out about how Bruce talked about Jason after he died. Using him as an example as what not to do, erasing his good traits and just using him as a cautionary tale of what happens when you don’t follow orders. Just like what Ra’s said about Danny.

So he didn’t tell the family, not out of guilt or grief. But because his father stripped away Jason’s positive traits after death, the son he chose, adopted and loved. Who when he failed because he was a child led astray by his mother. What would he do to his brother, who loved the stars and excelled in stealth, who was quite in his kills but had no lust for killing.

Whether or not Bruce would do this to Danny’s memory doesn’t matter. B’s actions are gonna affect how Damian views his father even years after the initial actions. Because Damian will protect his brothers memory from being twisted even by their father.

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

I am positively feral of the idea that John Constantine is an ex of both Maddie and Jack Fenton. Imagine the possibilities. They’re endless.

unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago
unwanted-house-guest
1 week ago

Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.

unwanted-house-guest
2 weeks ago
unwanted-house-guest - ...........
unwanted-house-guest
2 weeks ago

It would be interesting if Pit madness acts like a parasite. The reason it normally goes away with other is the Pit Demon starves and dies after eating excess Ecto left on the body. The more liminal one is, the longer the pit demon survives. The thing is Jason is undead on his own, crawled out of his grave and everything those 'produces' his own Ecto that the the Pits feed on to survive, leaving very little to Jason, just enough to survive and have alight enhanced healing.

The fun part starts when Vlad over shadows Jason and the Pits found a better source than a 'malnourished' revenant. Just Imagine Vlad accidentally catching the Pit parasite and it all transfering to Vlad. A more abundant and healthy source and can cause more proliferation. Unlike Jason whose mostly alive, shit start to hit the fan for Vlad because he's only half alive and sustained by his ghost half so he's a lot weaker now to reserve energy.

This also allows Sam, Tucker and Val to take center stage since can't let Phantom catch Ghost Parasites. Fenton parents hunting Plasmius for 'being and evil ghost hive mother' and 'trying to take over the amity ville with it's evil ghost spawns'. Not to mention how the rest of the Zone will treat Plasmius. "Ew, where have you been. It's what you get for overshadowing random people"

I want Jason and Danny get a relaxing doctor's visit, complete with 'vaccinations', ghost health talks, and out-patient prescriptions. Danny and Jason teaching each other, one being a ghost while the other, proper vigilante training on top of school work. There are no ghost incidents because no Ghost wants to catch Vlad parasite/Pit demons that's proliferating. Just them hiding away in the fortified Fenton home tutoring Danny because he desperately needs help. Jason seeing the Team Phantom in action, the Fenton Parents, GIW, Vlad masters with the perfect excuse that the only report he has on Phantom is him being a halfa, half human, thus by default became a gatekeeper as well as a diplomat of good reputation to the other side and 'definitely' not a 'violent' menace nor non-sentient or malicious.

When Mr. Lancer got promoted to Vice Principal, the school hired a new English teacher, an out-of-towner who wasn't phased by all the ghost stuff. For the first assignment of the year, he asked them to write a paper on any Shakespeare play they'd ever read.

The Monday after the paper was due, Mr. Todd asked Danny to stay after class. Danny frowned; he thought he'd done really well on the paper! He turned it in early and everything!

The teacher waited until everyone had left before asking, "Kid? Is everything okay at home?"

On the desk lay his paper, titled: "Why I Should Totally Kill My Godfather: An Essay About Shakespeare's Hamlet, I Swear".


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unwanted-house-guest
2 weeks ago

now people will wonder if this is a case of a Dr. Freeze and Nora. Omg, a lot of people in Gotham will fucking think that, god forbid Jason actually resurrects then they definitely will get a visit from Dr. freeze.

Bruce Wayne wakes up in the past, five months after Jason Todd died, and spends most days sat beside the grave because he never found out exactly when Jason had come back and he wanted to be there to save him when he did.

From an outside perspective, everyone is extremely concerned.

unwanted-house-guest
2 weeks ago
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic
Collection Of Posts For A Very Specific Dynamic

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

unwanted-house-guest
2 weeks ago

Cryptid Bruce

Martha and Thomas Wayne struggled to have a child for years and Thomas meets a shady man who tells him that a child will come to them soon

Thomas just ‘??? okaaaaaay’s him but in a week, Martha bursts into his office looking frazzled

“We’re being haunted.”

“….”

“Don’t give me that look, Thomas Wayne. The Manor. It’s haunted. Alfred! Tell him we’re being haunted!”

And Alfred comes in, also looking frazzled but to a lesser degree.

The two explain that things are moving around the Manor without any kind of explanation, but Thomas doesn’t believe them. Until he notices things in his office also being moved. The weirdest event is when they start hearing a child’s giggles. No explanation. None.

Not until Thomas, sleep deprived after going over paperwork for one too many hours, pops into the kitchen and…there is a child. Sitting on the kitchen counter.

The child, a boy, turns. Grins. Waves.

“Hi, daddy.”

Bruce, they name him, can melt into shadows. He finds it hilarious. Martha thinks she’s going to go grey at her young age. She adores him. Thomas adores him. He’s their son now.

The Waynes have a mysterious child, but they keep their private lives very private, so maybe they just successfully hid a pregnancy? And then a child. For…three years. They think Bruce is three, at least.

Despite how odd of a child Bruce is, they love him dearly. He’s some kind of miracle. A…very weird, possibly magical(?) miracle.

Dick thinks his adoptive father is strange. Extremely strange. Bruce makes absolutely no noise when he moves. He doesn’t cast shadows but he seemingly is able to *blend into them*. His smile, whilst genuine, seems a little too sharp.

He thinks he’s a vampire.

Bruce laughs so hard, he doubles over.

“No, but I am the Batman, so I guess you’re not far off.”

“…is this a joke?”

“Nope.”

“A dream?”

Bruce pinches him and Dick yelps.

Bruce doesn’t explain to Dick what he is, because he doesn’t have a clue himself. He just…is.

But when Jason comes along, he has a million and one questions. Bruce blinks at him.

“How did you do that? You literally *melted* into the shadows!”

Bruce shrugs.

“No. *No*. Explain.”

“I…can’t.”

“You said no secrets, B!”

Bruce puts his hands up defensively. “It’s not a secret! I really don’t know! It just…kind of happens.”

Jason stares at him. Bruce stands there. He seems to flicker? The edges of his body go a bit transparent and Dick knows he only does that when he’s stressed.

“Leave him alone, Jay. He’s telling the truth. He’s just…like that. But he’s still Bruce.”

It takes Jason two months to accept it. By then, his questions are more from genuine intrigue and wonder. He hides under Batman’s cape and somehow it’s spacious? It can even fit Dick at the same time. No one (but Bruce) can even hear them when they’re under there.

And then one day, when he goes to take a nap under Bruce’s cape, someone else is there.

“….B?”

“…”

“You know what I’m going to ask.”

“…”

“*Bruce*.”

“No real names, Robin.”

“No one can hear me!”

“…I didn’t kidnap him.”

“What his name?”

“Timothy Drake.”

“FROM DRAKE INDUSTRIES?”

And Tim wakes up, rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted and way too skinny, and all of a sudden, Jason understands why Dick has cooed at him the first night Bruce brought him home.

“Um…hi.”

“B, we’re keeping him.”

Jason doesn’t need to see Bruce’s face to know he’s smiling.

Damian just…appears. Bruce suddenly understands his parents’ reactions to his first appearance because nearly the same exact thing happens. Bruce wakes up from a nap. He doesn’t need to sleep very often, something Tim finds incredibly annoying, declaring it to be *unfair*. He wakes up, and curled against his chest is…a boy. Who looks a *lot* like him.

“Uh.”

The child wakes up, blinks at him w striking green eyes.

“Hello Father.”

What the fuck.

Dick slams his way into Bruce’s office, followed by Jason and Tim, who are bickering with each other.

“DAAAAAAAD, THEY WON’T SHU- oh. Steal another kid?”

“…he just appeared.”

“That’s the excuse you used for Jason.”

“No. Literally. I fell asleep. No kid. Woke up. Kid.”

“My name is Damian.”

“That’s no fair. You came pre-named?”

Damian is as odd as Bruce. Actually, he’s weirder. And stabby. Bruce finds him *delightful*. He adores him.

Dick is Nightwing, Jason is Red Hood (no death, he just thought it was a cool name), Tim is Red Robin, and Damian’s Robin.

Bruce is Batman. Despite being in his late 30s, he still looks like he’s in his mid 20s.

Batman stands in front of a bank robber who’s going on about their evil bank robbing plans. Nightwing pops his head out from beneath Batman’s cape.

“Can you get to the point?”

Red Hood pops out next.

“I’m getting bored.”

Red Robin follows.

“This is sad.”

Damian.

“Scum.”

Batman sighs.

“Why are all of you here?”

“Missed you.”

They all chime in.

The robber.

“How…how the *fuck-?*”

“Language. There are kids around.”

“B, I’m 23.”

“Says the boy taking a nap in my cape. And I was talking about Red Robin and Robin.”

“…’s comfy.”

“I’m eighteen???”

“F- Batman! I am not a child!”

There’s some shuffling sounds, no doubt Red Hood moving over to ruffle Robin’s hair.

“Whatever you say, Tiny Demon.”

And then Red Hood shrieks.

“No stabbing your brothers, Robin.”

“He called me small!”

“…you are.”

“This is insulting, F- Batman. I will grow to be as big as you. No. *Bigger*.”

The robber watches in confusion, mild amusement, and horror.

Batman sighs.

“We’ll talk about this later. Now, you were saying? Blowing up the bank, terrorizing the people.” Batman yawns. “Anything else?”

“Just take me to Arkham. I think I’m insane.”

unwanted-house-guest
3 weeks ago

Danny escapes from his home dimension because of *insert your reason of choice here* and is dropped off in Bludhaven. He latches onto the first vigilante he sees which subsequently is Nightwing. Danny haunts Dick, watches out for him because he’s a bird with a broken wing who seems to be hell bent on going down.

It’s kinda an Angel on your shoulder vs. the Devil (hallucinations of your dead little brother) type situation.Meanwhile Dick is confused why he’s hallucinating a version of his little brother with green eyes and white hair (Danny is his home dimensions Jason). After Danny discovers that Dick thinks he's a hallucination he tries to just not but then Dick gets worse without his words of encouragement. It’s a very precarious situation.

unwanted-house-guest
3 weeks ago

This reminds me of the Old Batman and Robin Show re-runs when I was kid. The catchphrase "Holy (Insert random shit), Batman!". a Quick google search this shows up.

"Holy homework!"

"Holy conflagration!"

"Holy schizophrenia!"

"Holy sudden incapacitation!"

"Holy heart failure!"

"Holy murder!"

"Holy felony!"

"Holey Rusted Metal!"

Holy Tintinnabulation!

Holy Uncanny Photographic Mental Processes

Holy Knit One, Purl Two

Holy Bouncy Boiler Plate!

Holy Caffeine!

Holy Hole in a Donut!

Tim: Shit.

Bruce: Language!

Damian: Kol khara!

Bruce: Language!

Steph: Now that's one crazy motherfucker

Bruce: Language!

Jason: Who the fuck are you calling a "son of a bitch," you pigeon-livered saucy lackey!? Maltworm spat out of a mouldy rogue! Rare parrot teacher! Your—

Bruce: —Language!

Dick: Yeah! What the frick-frack tickity tic-tac snik-snak, bro?

Bruce: ...

Bruce: What the fuck.

unwanted-house-guest
3 weeks ago

I don't know if I'm misremembering things or if it's because I've read too many fanfic that I'm not sure if it's canon, but Bruce's dad was a doctor too, if I remember correctly. It's like a nice parallel.

Bruce's trauma is caused by violence he was helpless to do anything about so fights in response. Damian, on the other hand, fights because it's all he knows, as an Al Ghul, as Son of the Bat, a legacy of warriors, assassin. But Damian chooses for Damian for the first time, and that's for Damian to lay down his weapon. He no longer has to fight, that finally he is safe and secure enough to know that regardless, Bruce Will love him unconditionally. Dick CHOSE to became Robin then Nightwing, Jason Chose to be Robin then decided to be Red Hood, Tim Blackmailed his way to be Robin and Stubbornly held Red Robin.... But Damian was RAISED in a cult believing he HAS to be worthy of being the HEIR, either as an Al Ghul or Son of the Bat. He NEVER chose this life and only knows how to fight, to Be a Weapon. Bruce didn't want kids to fight, it's the kids who chose to fight and HAS a personal reason to fight. But not Damian, other than he was BORN for it, that it Was raised to think EXPECTED of him. I think it's beautiful to be honest.

He doesn't even have to stop being a hero. I'd imagine him being a Doctor first, hero second. Probably the go to for alien Bioweapon attacks, sick Alien or Meta's from accidents and shit. A medical professional for JL and someone to replace the old lady doctor. Imagine stopping a villain and curing him or he cannot fully fix, makes it manageable. God knows there's a lot of runaway science experiments villain in DC or villains like Dr. Freeze that needs medical assistance. New fancy drugs, plagues or toxins to cure and trace where it's coming from, kinda like treating the symptoms then eliminate the root cause(stopping the villain), just Damian getting his OWN theme not one he INHERITED.

Ok Damian Doctor AU ‼️‼️‼️‼️

Ok Damian doctor AU ‼️‼️‼️‼️

unwanted-house-guest
3 weeks ago

Dp x dc prompt/idea:

So you guys know the idea of sister towns/cities right? Like Boring Oregon & Dull Scotland are considered sister/paired towns because of their names are in the same vibe and people think it's funny.

Now consider: Amity Park & Gotham are sister cities, and have been for ages. Since before they were even cities, some say before they were even towns. Both being created by folks of the magical persuasion (though in different veins).

Now over time it's something that people - more so in Gotham, that grew and grew and grew, forgetting some of the "smaller" history along the way - don't think about much any more. A plaque beneath Amity Park's welcome sign. A bit of obscure trivia that gets pulled out in the more serious pub quizzes in Gotham. Nothing that's top of mind to anybody these days, what with Amity's ghosts and Gotham's...well, everything.

At least, it wasn't top of mind until the earthquake hit and the government cut the ailing city off from the rest of the world.

Amity Park has had it's fair share of the US government fucking them over, it took ages to drive out the GIW and for Amity Park to find peace with their undead neighbors and Phantom - their own Ghost King - that called their little city home.

So the people of Amity Park, deeply suspicious and untrusting of the government, used to disasters well beyond the scope of what normal cities are accustomed to facing and stuffed full of Midwestern politeness and a strong sense of duty to help their neighbors - no matter how far away - does what the rest of the world refuses to do.

They come together and do everything they can to help.

The people in the ruins and wreckage of Gotham are not anywhere near prepared for bright green glowing portals to start popping open all over the place. They are even less prepared for those portals to have a strange mix of glowing, flying entities and determined midwesterners brandishing emergency supplies and warm casseroles. But hey, it's not like anyone else in the world seems to give a damn if Gotham lives or dies, and these Amity Park folks seem like their kid of people.

unwanted-house-guest
3 weeks ago

Prompt 215

Danny has found himself as a cat. And there’s good news and bad news about it. The good news is that he’s a magical cat or something similar, seeing as he has two tails and can go Very Big if he wants to. Bad news? He’s pretty sure they’re in a different dimension now. 

Cute news, both Ellie and Jordan are itty bitty kittens and utterly adorable, he would murder for them. They’re so tiny! Like, yeah they got physically de-aged before all this so they could properly pass as his kids- along with part of Dan’s parole- but this? He could hold them in his hands if he still had them! 

Alright! First things first, find a shelter and avoid the destroyed buildings along with whatever destroyed them in the first place. Then he could figure out if this is an accident or some sort of forced vacation. But shelter first. 

unwanted-house-guest
3 weeks ago

Somehow I imagine it to turn into a Liminal city. A city that migrates, no fixed point or location but always in a place that seems to makes sense that there's a city there.

Like somewhere across a long highway there's a gas station with welcome to amity ville sign, you don't think much about it. It seems a bit off, the people seem a little off, but you're just here for gas. No need to think why you think there's something off with the cashier, at least they don't have anything strange at a first glance. It's probably because you vaguely don't remember a city in this route but then again, it's a boring and seemingly generic town. You've probably just forgotten, you don't need to pay attention to these small towns to get to one megacity to another. Just get to the next county/city, but somewhere in the next county you see the same gas station but with a motel near by, a welcome to amity sign. you've sworn you had passed by before but you don't remember seeing a motel, it's probably just something similar enough to give deja vu but it's not the same isn't it. You hear the truckers in your next stop about the city that only appears during certain times and at specific day, on certain highways. One swore he got flack for late delivery because he slept at the motel only to find that the next morning he's driving on the road to Arizona instead, when he turned around the damned city was gone.

"We should take Amity Park and put it somewhere else!" "...That is the dumbest smart idea I've ever heard."

The world is dying.

The GIW shot a nuke into the Ghost Zone, and now the world is paying for it.

Amity, however, is lasting the longest due to already being contaminated with Ecto.

Dash has an insanely dumb idea to save it.

Danny is just desperate enough to try it.

He manages to use a horrifying amalgamation of tech, time amulets, and magic bullshittery to actually move the city of Amity Park to a different dimension.

It, the entire city, has just crash landed (upright but crooked) a few miles down the road from Smallville.


Tags
unwanted-house-guest
4 weeks ago

So we do like to give Jason the Trauma about his murder by Joker, and here at Dead on Main we especially like Danny getting Extra Stabby About It

But hear me out

Jason’s got the ghost juice now

Ghosts tend to have this. Thing. About their murderers. And comic Jason has never been especially scared of the Joker post revival

What if it’s just full Soul Hate every time they’re even in vague proximity and the fucking walls start bleeding, temperature drops, static everywhere and Jason is just permanently itching to go beat his ass to death like Nightwing

So Jason obviously avoids him because

A) the dead do not avenge themselves he wants Bruce to do it

And B) it’s not fun and he doesn’t like feeling out of control

There’s just no fear response whatsoever it’s just Jason accidentally haunting both Joker and Himself and making Mama Gotham so proud

unwanted-house-guest
1 month ago

Short DPXDC Prompts #748

Hanahaki AU, Jason’s flowers are Blood Blossoms. No one knows why his affliction hurts him more than the average diseased person.

unwanted-house-guest
1 month ago

Somehow, I'm Imagining that Clockwork is Danny's 'ghost parent's or close enough that it makes misunderstanding worse. Like clearly, eating problems always is hereditary.

You Make Miso Scared (DC x DP)

When the ghost, Phantom joins the Justice League he's a real boon. His range and strength of powers are unmatched. Casualties, injuries, even length of time taken to complete battles comes all the way down.

One day his colleagues ask about his fights where he's lost. Kind of morbidly they want to know, what kind of beings could threaten their most powerful member. What was out there and dangerous enough to really threaten the being that made Darkseid cry. Batman wants to know because he's not happy with his threat assessment or contingency plans for a creature that has admitted to being able to crack their planet like an egg.

Danny tells them about his earlier fights, several of them. He edits the stories thoroughly to obscure his own identity, the fact that he's human sometimes, and that his friends had to help him (protecting their identities most effectively by denying their existence). Danny finds that the gimmicks of his rogues makes his audience laugh. So, he gets swept up and maybe tells a few more stories than intended.

And at the end of each story, he'd explain what he learned from being bested by that enemy. Then how he used what he learned to get them next time before their evil plan could be completed.

"And it was soup time for Skulker!" "And I souped her!"

It was a little unsettling to be honest, but they figured it was a translation issue from Ghost to English or something with his accent. He probably wasn't saying soup.

Then, next week there is a battle against another ghost. Danny will tell them later that an Ancient went rogue, though they have no idea why this eyeball is trying to kill everyone. They get to see Danny actually working hard against a foe. Though, they're all unconscious by the end of the fight.

During the debrief a few days later they notice Danny with a weird accessory. A thermos.

"What you got there buddy?" "You know the eyeball was causing trouble! I had to make soup out of him. For punishment."

Danny wasn't letting this lunatic out for at least a fortnight.

Batman updates his threat assessment with Superman's troubled blessing.

Phantom's extraordinary abilities - above those of other ghosts - seems to be derived from his cannibalistic tendencies.

unwanted-house-guest
1 month ago

You Make Miso Scared (DC x DP)

When the ghost, Phantom joins the Justice League he's a real boon. His range and strength of powers are unmatched. Casualties, injuries, even length of time taken to complete battles comes all the way down.

One day his colleagues ask about his fights where he's lost. Kind of morbidly they want to know, what kind of beings could threaten their most powerful member. What was out there and dangerous enough to really threaten the being that made Darkseid cry. Batman wants to know because he's not happy with his threat assessment or contingency plans for a creature that has admitted to being able to crack their planet like an egg.

Danny tells them about his earlier fights, several of them. He edits the stories thoroughly to obscure his own identity, the fact that he's human sometimes, and that his friends had to help him (protecting their identities most effectively by denying their existence). Danny finds that the gimmicks of his rogues makes his audience laugh. So, he gets swept up and maybe tells a few more stories than intended.

And at the end of each story, he'd explain what he learned from being bested by that enemy. Then how he used what he learned to get them next time before their evil plan could be completed.

"And it was soup time for Skulker!" "And I souped her!"

It was a little unsettling to be honest, but they figured it was a translation issue from Ghost to English or something with his accent. He probably wasn't saying soup.

Then, next week there is a battle against another ghost. Danny will tell them later that an Ancient went rogue, though they have no idea why this eyeball is trying to kill everyone. They get to see Danny actually working hard against a foe. Though, they're all unconscious by the end of the fight.

During the debrief a few days later they notice Danny with a weird accessory. A thermos.

"What you got there buddy?" "You know the eyeball was causing trouble! I had to make soup out of him. For punishment."

Danny wasn't letting this lunatic out for at least a fortnight.

Batman updates his threat assessment with Superman's troubled blessing.

Phantom's extraordinary abilities - above those of other ghosts - seems to be derived from his cannibalistic tendencies.

unwanted-house-guest
1 month ago

now, I'm imagining that Amander Waller is In fact related to Walker instead. Like not a Kryptonian, just descended from him. It's possible that's why Jor-El knew earth was safe because at some point someone ended up there while pursuing an escaped prisoner of sorts, before the destruction of Krypton

Culture Shock

Look, Danny knows not all of the ghosts from the Zone are human, ok?

Skulker is an alien, Wulf is from another dimension, and Frostbite's ancestral world don't even have planets.

You can meet any ghost from any world and any time period, it's only one of the infinite weird things about the Realms.

So it wasn't a big deal when Danny asked Walker to teach him his mother tongue. Just an attempt to reduce the communication error with the guy, and maybe an effort to get to know his Zone neighbors better.

Generic ghost speak can only get them so far after all.

And ok, Danny wasn't expecting to get actual language books and fucking homeworks from the warden, but whatever. Walker is stuffy like that. It's actually pretty sweet of him to give Danny all of these materials, and Danny can appreciate that.

It might have, unfortunately, slipped Danny's mind to ask more about Walker's origins. Although to be fair, learning an alien language wouldn't be a problem normally, it shouldn't be.

If not for that cursed Fenton luck.

How in the realms is Danny supposed to know Walker is Kryptonian??? Walker acts nothing like Superman, how is Danny supposed to connect the two dots?!

Shit, how do he even start to explain this when Superman is knocking on his dorm window??

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