When You Get This, Please Reply Five Things That Make You Happy And Send This To The Last Ten People

I just woke up

I went to twich and saw tommy was live awhile ago so I watch .......

AND HE'S DEAD! WTF

imma cry now

This man need to go to therapy

mcc15 pink parrot

My dream came true: GRIAN and WILBUR on a SAME TEAM?!?!? TECHNOBLADE IS BACK!!!!

 SCOTT SMAJOR I HOPE YOU REST WELL DEAR SIR. THANK YOU!!!!!

you don’t FUCKING undertale (understand). tsukasa tenma

this is the guy who is a direct parallel to mafuyu asahina. who, y’know

y’know. very narratively and thematically and aesthetically different but at the same time they’re so fucking similar and i am DYING for colorful palette to let them meet because goddammit. kindred spirits. and while i firmly believe that at least mafuyu will register just how similar they are (not sure about tsukasa because he is very much “i am closing my eyes. i do not see it.”), i want to see what direction the actual writers will take it.

we’ve got two kids who have been emotionally neglected in a big way - who have been forced into these perfect little boxes. the prim and flawless daughter, always at the top of her class, always gentle and polite, never causes a single problem, always smiling. VS the big strong older brother who can take care of his chronically ill little sister and who never needs to be taken care of himself, who never causes any more problems for his already stressed parents, who never cries, who never stops smiling.

in their desperation for even a crumb of approval and recognition from the two people in their lives who should have been more attentive and should have been there from the very first moment ANY semblance of a problem began manifesting (their parents) - they have contorted themselves to these boxes. so much so that they have completely lost who they might have been before. all that’s left is what everyone else wants them to be.

and now we’re stuck in a sort of endless cycle of existential dread: “How much of me is real? Do my friends love me for me, or the mask? If I take off the mask, will I still be loved? If this is all I know, can I call this the real me? How am I supposed to find the real me, if I can’t? Who the hell am I?”

these are questions no kid should be asking themselves. these are questions with no answer. but at the same time, they are questions that have to be faced and answered - in one way or another. you must come to your own personal interpretation of them, or you’ll never find peace. they’ll always haunt and torment you.

(side note that i almost forgot about: while mafuyu is very much putting up a front and acting like someone who doesn’t exist, has never existed, and never ever will truly exist, tsukasa’s not going that far? it’s not a full mask. more like, he knows who he wants to be, he knows how much he’s capable of, and he just. wasn’t achieving that naturally. so he took the “Fake it till you make it!” approach. but he didn’t completely destroy his own personality and replace it with something 100% false like mafuyu did. he just kinda…deleted the less savory parts. the parts that might make people worry about him instead of smiling bright - the parts that are still very much a lonely, scared child left alone in a dark house, wondering if his little sister would die; wondering if he would lose everyone who has ever cared about him; wondering if he would be forgotten and abandoned, left behind in a pile of worthless, insignificant bits of trash like a worn-out stuffed animal. [i don’t think it’s a coincidence that his SEKAI is populated by so many stuffed animals, which are typically thrown out or tossed into storage and forgotten about as the children who once depended on them grow up. and i believe kaito’s motherly disposition towards them reflects tsukasa’s lingering desire to just… be taken care of. for once. so he can feel safe and like he’ll never be abandoned, like his loved ones will never stop needing and wanting him in their lives.] because pretending these feelings don’t exist totally won’t bite him in the ass later.)

and even with that in mind? funnily enough, mafuyu’s farther along the road to recovery and peace than tsukasa is. we could sit and debate about the healthiness of her methods - but here’s the thing: she sees the box she has trapped herself in for years, and she has separated herself from it. she understands that that is not who she is. and she’s slowly figuring out who the real mafuyu is. the person beneath layers of expectations and pressure and masking.

tsukasa hasn’t even fucking started yet. (ha. get it?)

he’s deeply afraid of and resistant to confronting his past and his true feelings. we see it in the beginning of wonderlands x showtime’s story. his SEKAI unsettles him. which is so interesting because every other character goes to their SEKAI and they’re like, aw hell yeah. love this place. they feel right at home. after all, these places are culminations of their feelings. they were made FOR them. like, the one other time we’ve seen two characters resist their SEKAI was shiho and honami!!

because they were denying their true feelings. because to embrace their true feelings would mean pain and regret and guilt and a million other things they were too afraid to deal with.

so with that, we have confirmation that tsukasa didn’t just “forget” why he decided to pursue acting. he was actively repressing those memories - those feelings. and possibly having to face them scared the shit out of him. because once they’re faced, he’s just a hair away from uncovering why he repressed them in the first place, isn’t he? within an instant, the magical wonderland mirage can fall apart. and without that… what does he have? what does he have to offer? to justify his existence? how can he make people smile if they know he’s suffering beneath the sparkly grins and showy costumes? how could he be so selfish, putting his problems onto others? didn’t his parents always tell him to be brave and strong and not to cry and put on a great big smile instead? he needs to listen to them; he needs to make everyone happy. he needs to be a star.

(and i do have to say - the use of “star” to define himself does disturb me on some level. because stars don’t live forever. and the bigger and brighter the star, the shorter its life cycle. stars expand, and then they explode - one last dramatic, breathtaking display; the ultimate show - and then they fizzle out. and then they die. i’m going to just leave this analogy where it is.)

i think another reason why tsukasa was so disturbed by his SEKAI is because he recognized in an instant the… falsehood of it. it’s just like him. all noise and distractions and bright colors and confetti and theatrical drama that distracts you from seeing what’s, really, juuuuuuuuuust beneath the surface. emu, nene, and rui feel more or less at home in it because it’s just like tsukasa!

the tsukasa they’re allowed to see, anyway.

and i do think rui’s constant poking and prodding at the inner workings of the place goes a little deeper than just his natural curiosity. he’s an intuitive person - he knows how to dig under people’s skin, how to get them to open up… but i think, to a degree, tsukasa is kind of a mystery to even him?? and he doesn’t question him right to his face because he already knows it won’t work. luckily for him, there’s a magical place created by tsukasa’s feelings that he can investigate. if he can learn more about SEKAI, he’s bound to learn more about this guy he knows and calls a friend and yet at the same time, he doesn’t know at all…????

alright, anyway. backpedaling to mafuyu for a moment - like i said near the beginning of the post, i want her to meet tsukasa. i want something to happen where they are forced to interact for longer than 5 seconds. because i think… meeting her would spark a chain reaction in tsukasa. no i don’t want tsukasa to have a mental breakdown but it’s gotta come out at some point because i don’t like the star analogy you guys.

i say mafuyu would see herself in tsukasa because like. in an Instant, she singled out mizuki as being even more suicidal than she is. despite mizuki’s bubbly and bright attitude. she sees through people’s shit without even trying. i don’t think it’d be any different with tsukasa.

“Tsukasa, are you really happy?”

I study Japanese while I'm in high school and Chinese in college. you might see some difference from korean than the other two,

the best way to separate them if you learn some of the language and notice it's writing system.

the korean hangul way of writing is far so different from the other two. therefore it's easy to point it out first.

당신은 게이입니다

then Japanese... there's a hard problem, some of the Kanji is also used. but they also use hiragana so if you see them faster more.

君はゲイです

Lastly Mandarin.... as the oldest language from the three of them. a way of somewhat point it out is the same thing to see if the writing is in Japanese, but in reverse.

你是同性恋

in the end of the day. just hope someone wont write "I have a big dick" in all of those language in one sentence and being it send to you.

I don’t really understand getting mad at people for mixing up korean, chinese, and japanese

Like, look at them together

見る한국어中国死ね我要吃你マンコ형사我有大鸡巴

and tell me they don’t look similar lol

School suck lol (update about my insta)

So anyway I can't watch all of the streams cause of time zones. but I always watch it after class only a small bit of it, this week is different in school we had a even for senior high school student (SHS) like me.

So I might be busy and didn't post. I might post fanart here and in Instagram. and on the summer I might release my own comic, i don't know where to post it.

As you know me on instagram. i always post weekly but it stop on December. I might repost it here and all. and I not gonna use twitter, sorry it's full of drama. and yah.

alivebur: *exists*

former gifted kids who crave validation and lie to their parents about their failures so they can feel better about themselves and to remind themselves that somewhere out there someone is still proud of them and loves them wholeheartedly: YOOOOOOOO

MY CAUSE OF DEATH

HAHAHHAHAHHAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

Hear me out. If she is, she went to Liyue to help / take care of humans and stayed there.

Enkonomiya was an absolute trove of worldbuilding but Goddamn I wanna know more about Zhongli’s birth to know where to EXACTLY put him in there.

Like when was he just one vishap who grew stronger ? Did he know the dragon-lords ? He is several millennia old, Zhongli says that he has “lived 6000 years” however, he doesn’t say that he is 6000 years old.

 It is now clear that Zhongli cannot speak of Dainsleif to the Traveler and many things because of his contract with Celestia, or else he will basically meet the same fate as Orobashi. So he could be waaaaaaay older than that.

The only thing I can know is that Zhongli was not a dragon-lord because Azhdaha calls him a usurper, which to me refers to him being the Archon after the dragon-lords were dethroned.

And now I keep thinking about the Primordial One’s love for humanity and I keep thinking about Istaroth and how WAS GUIZHONG ONE OF THE FOUR SHADES ????? She is only mentioned as the God of Dust and has fantastic technological capabilities as she easily navigates around Khaenri’ah technology.

NEVER IS GUIZHONG EVER MENTIONED TO BE ADEPTI, ONLY THAT SHE WAS HELPED BY THE ADEPTI.

IF ZHONGLI WAS AROUND WHEN THE FOUR SHADES WERE GUIDING HUMANITY AND WAS SO CLOSE TO ONE THIS GIVES EVEN DEEPER LAYERS. The layers of Guizhong loving humanity, but being from somewhere that damned humanity. What if Zhongli took more her moral priorities and developed more of a personal relationship with her, believing that helping the Abyss people would fit her morals despite the Primordial One being clearly against just everything that would want to dethrone it.

Then you got the other side. Ok. Celestia is bad. But what did they want to stop. Sure, there was a conflict of governing powers, but we do not know if there was something more that forced their hand to ultimately choose war and massacre.

I just O)-(

WHAT IF INSIDE GUIZHONG’S DUMBBELL THERE IS SOMETHING TO BRING DOWN CELESTIA OR ABOUT CELESTIA SIMILAR TO THE BOOK OF SUN AND MOON AND THE WAY TO UNLOCK IT IS IF SOMEONE BRINGS CERTAIN THINGS TOGETHER TO KNOW THE TIME HAS COME I’M.