Think About It

Forbidden knowledge but it must be thought of for the sake of REAL hygiene

people in shower scenes never wash their ass.

" *you helped him wash off*" did you wash his ass? Get in between the cheeks? Letting or just run down ain't enough. If you just washing together still wash your ass. Everytime i read a shower scene that fact always takes me out of the immersion. I have to imagine them washing their ass between sentences to get back into it.

Me rereading my work: Damn this is good who wrote this

My rereading another one of my works: Damn this shit is ass who wrote this.

Since Halloween is just around the corner how would the straw hat crew react if reader dressed up as one of them for Halloween? (It could be Luffy or whatever straw hat crew member you think would be best?😅)

This was fun to make even if I kept getting stuck on it due to a bad mood. Also I couldn't decide on who so I asked an elder (my older brother) and he chose the swirly browed cook himself! Enjoy!

Fun(ny) Halloween

Sanji x Gender Neutral Reader. 1496 words. Platonic and co-starring the rest of the Strawhat crew.

October, a month of fall and most importantly, Halloween. There’s a problem though… you don’t know what to go as. You could pick a classic, vampire, mummy, some sort of animal or devil, but that’s boring. You want something cool but scary, easy to do would be a plus too. While thinking of this you’re suddenly jumpscared by Sanji bursting out of the kitchen onto the deck with food.

“Robin-chann!! I made the tea you asked for~~~~” He spins around and sets it down in front of her, swooning when she smiles at him with an elegant “Thank you.” Your hand goes to your heart, he’s always so passionate it’s startling.

‘Startling…’ An idea pops into your mind and you look at Sanji, he’s really just wearing a suit, right? It's mostly likely uncomfortable, but a regular suit is an easy thing to get! This is perfect, plans starting to form in your head as the day goes on. As soon as the Sunny docks at an island you run off, saying you have something to do that’s a surprise. Eyebrows you can just draw on, a blonde wig is easy to get too even if you have to style it a bit, now to get a suit. You walk into the store and look around, grabbing one and checking the price tag. Expensive! Sanji has good taste too so an accurate one to him would be even more than this… well it isn’t like you’re going to become him, you don’t need anything fancy. You get whatever suit is close enough to his and a regular dress shirt. For a tie, you could bribe Nami to borrow one from him. Perfect plan, you’re a genius. When you get back to the ship you borrow sewing tools from Usopp and a straightener from Robin since Nami would have charged you. Things are easy enough from there, adjusting the suit slightly to fit your body and cutting the wig. It isn’t… the best. Sanji is very well maintained, and you’re making this really late, but it’s enough to be recognizable as him.

_________________

October, the month of- hell yeah it’s Halloween! You excitedly grab your costume, putting it on and making some final touches to look nice. You do look nice in a suit, almost everyone does, but this is a bit of a hassle. “How does he just wear this all the time?” You mumble to yourself while putting it on. Now that you think about it, having a full suit on is the most peculiar for a pirate to wear. No matter, this’ll only be for a day anyway. Only thing left is to go show everyone.

__________________

“That’s your costume? Seriously? A mummy?” Nami, in a sexy farmer costume, says to Zoro. He’s just wearing bear ears and bandages on his face. “That’s the same as last year!”

“I’m a bear mummy this time, don’t you have eyes?” He points to the bear ears and Nami gives him a look of disgust. “You relaxing your face or something? Look a lot better like this.” Nami’s expression turns back to normal and Zoro flinches on purpose, causing her to kick him in the shin angrily. Chopper, who's dressed as a little ghost complete with a tenkan headband over the white sheet and black painted horns, runs around trying to catch a mechanical bee Usopp’s piloting. The sniper’s dressed as a beekeeper, but with actual mechanical bees in the hive on his back. He’s matching with Franky dressed as the queen, or king, bee. When Chopper catches it he strikes a pose and gives a “SUPER!!”

“Robin-Chwannn~ You look beautiful even in your costume.” Sanji swoons over Robin in her spider woman costume. No, not the superhero, an actual spider woman, she even grew arms on her back to keep the image. Brook goes to her as well, dressed as a magician.

“Yohoho~ Here’s my magic trick for two beautiful women.” He pulls two roses from his afro and gives one to her, then to Nami.

“You just pulled roses from your hair…” Usopp mumbles.

“Awee that was actually kinda sweet.” Nami admires the rose.

“Free of charge, though I do take panties as dona-” He gets hit on the head. Jinbe isn’t quite used to this sort of thing, but has learned his lesson about Nami already and chooses to silently sip his tea in his zombie costume courtesy of you and Luffy. Suddenly you walk out from inside the ship and Luffy, dressed as.. a pirate captain with a hook, notices you from his spot on the railing above.

“Huh? Sanji?” That brings attention to you, especially Sanji who turns around expecting for Luffy to ask him for food; instead seeing you dressed at him. He freezes with his mouth open, stopped in his tracks before he could yell at his captain that he was fed not too long ago.

“Oh. my. gods.” Nami stares at you and then bursts out laughing with Usopp. “Is this why you asked me to get a tie from h-him!?” She holds her stomach, bending down slightly as she laughs. You walk over to her.

“Well? Was it worth the investment, mademoiselle?” You say to her and she covers her mouth to muffle more laughing.

“Another shitty cook, this is a nightmare.” Zoro says in the background, which seems to snap Sanji out of it.

“Shut up, Mosshead!" They start to fight, the cook kicking down at Zoro as he blocks with his swords. Luffy keeps staring between you and Sanji.

“Wait, how are there two Sanjis?” He’s confused.

“One is clearly not me! How is this not obvious to you!?” The blonde points to himself, then motions to his whole body. Luffy stares at his face, then at yours. The both of you have swirly eyebrows.

“You have a twin? When did they get on the ship?” Sanji falls to his knees at Luffy’s obliviousness. “Which one of you is Sanji?”

“I’m Sanji.” You say with a charismatic smile, putting your hand on your face and flicking your hair.

“Ohhh okay.” Luffy nods.

“Don’t just believe them!” The real Sanji yells.

“I’m gonna pass out…!” Usopp clutches his chest, getting lightheaded from laughing too hard. Sanji looks at everyone laughing and gets a little bummed, you walk over to him.

“Well? How do I look? I actually worked pretty hard on this, though I don’t look as cool as you.” Sanji’s ears perk up from your compliment.

“Cool?” He pries for more of them.

“Yeah, you always look really put together. This helped me realize how tiring it must be to almost always have a suit on. It kinda makes me admire you.” His eyes twinkle and he smiles, trying to keep it calm and charismatic rather than overly happy.

“Hmm, I guess that’s true.” Nami mumbles to herself while trying to imagine having to wear a suit all the time. Sanji catches it immediately; but so do you. Right as he runs to her you follow suit and copy his swooning.

“Nami-Swann~! You really think so~~!!?” He finishes his statement and turns to you, shock on his face. Nami shivers a little.

“Yikes. Maybe the costume is more scary than funny.” She says and Zoro nods.

“Sorry, your behavior is kind of predictable.” You admit to Sanji, who’s feeling conflicted between liking that his love for women is known and being ashamed that he’s this predictable. Chopper puts a hoof on his leg for comfort, but he’s shaking slightly from also trying not to laugh. The cook turns to Robin right as you do.

“Robin-channnn do you think i’m pre-” He stops and so do you, then falls to his knees again. Robin can’t help it and tries to turn her head and muffle a small laugh with her hand, though it’s still heard. Luffy, who started laughing too, stretches down from where he was hanging and onto Franky.

“Sanji and Sanji, do it again!” He cheers for an encore, raising his arms up. It doesn’t make Swirly Brow feel much better.

“You’re still a better cook than me. I can’t copy your talents.” You crouch down to Sanji’s level but he looks away, pouting and upset that he’s the butt of the joke. “Y’know I wouldn’t have put this much effort into the costume if I was ashamed of you.” You stand back up and strike a pose. “So why don’t you teach me some tricks so I can make this more accurate?” This seems to cheer him up and he stands, looking around. Well, these are his friends, and it’s not like it’s unfunny.

“Well,” He clears his throat. “your hair isn’t parted correctly.” His hands go to your wig and smooth it out as you smile back. If the people he cares for are happy, so is he.

“I think they look better.” Zoro states and Sanji attacks him. Zoro is the exception.

Gone fishin

Im not even a Shanks shipper either. The closest ships i have for him are benn or Mihawk. Mostly Benn, because from what I see they atleast tend to give Shanks some care. Your hatred for other ships because of mine for Shuggy (though its more just the hatred of the dynamic commonly used in the ship) is for no reason

No one is more annoying than you tagging your hate. Seeing how you guys act, only Shuggy fans will get my support and other Shanks ships get nothing but my hate. Shuggy fans are truly the only tolerable Shanks shippers. The rest of you need to get your act together or find something else to do because you don’t even understand the story or the characters.

I literally wrote this whole thing about the problems with Shuggy but i got distracted and accidentally closed the app so im just gonna say if you really think that I'm not understanding the point or the story or the characters then you need to reread/rewatch one piece because everything Oda has put out has not been shy or subtle in showing that Buggy is toxic. Buggy stomped and stabbed Luffy's treasure, tried killing him multiple times, then in impel down Luffy forgave and struck a deal with him and Buggy tried to fuck him over again despite acknowledging himself through inner dialogue that Luffy is incredibly trusting and only a monster would betray him, and then shamelessly trying to betray him.

The whole point of his character in Impel down/Marineford is that Buggy is horrible and his karma is that he's forced to help in order to save his own ass since at every corner he's ready to betray, just like Shanks and the Roger Pirates. Shanks tried to be brotherly friends, Buggy felt inferior so he constantly picked fights, The Roger pirates raise Buggy with love, Buggy tries to steal a treasure map and devil fruit so that he can sell the fruit off and go find the treasure for himself and blames Shanks despite the reason Shanks approaches him is to check on Buggy, but Buggy still blamed Shanks despite it being his choice to be an idiot and stuff the fruit in his mouth to hide it while letting go of the map. When the Roger crew disbanded and Roger died Buggy made it about him. He said he was willing to give up "everything" for Shanks or whatever and then Shanks betrayed him and thats the whole reason why Shuggy lovers coddle Buggy and demonize Shanks but Shanks also sacrificed everything basically. He stayed behind for Buggy when Buggy was sick and missed the last of the adventures with his father figure and being able to go to the last island. Shanks sacrifices everything. Buggy was mean to Shanks even before the "betrayal" which was just Shanks saying he didn't want to go for the One Piece.

Then he blames everything on Shanks and leaves Shanks at his most vulnerable time since as the story goes on we're learning more and more that clearly something traumatizing and burdening happened to Shanks that made him give up the One Piece at that time. It was his dream too. He was always so bright and happy and hopeful and he always tried his best yet Buggy was the one who actually betrayed Shanks, running away like a coward because of his inferiority complex when Shanks was doing everything in his power to lift Buggy up. But Buggy doesn't want to be lifted up. No matter how much Shanks tried Buggy always would rather drag Shanks down with him. Now Shanks is alone, he had to go through everything alone and clearly is not okay mentally because of it from his random bouts of melacholy and burden. He longs for some sort of companion but has nothing because Buggy left and he didn't give chase, sacrificing his want for a friend in order to let Buggy leave since Shanks felt that Buggy really must hate him and would be happier leaving, he sacrificed his dominant arm to save Luffy, severely weakening himself, gave what he had left of Roger to Luffy in order to cheer the boy up, another sacrifice. Then you'd think "oh he still has his daughter" and you'd be right, he took care of her when he found her in the chest, sacrificing his youth to take care of a baby on the ship, but he had to leave her. He made himself look like the bad guy to leave her, losing the last bit of compassion in his life.

He took it hard too, Oda drew in a little sbs thing im pretty sure of Shanks despairing over it. Then, canonically, Luffy is Shanks's last hope, for everything. Shanks doesn't have a companion, no little daughter to cheer him up, no lover because he likely doesn't want to bring them into what he has on his shoulders, nothing. Yet Buggy tried to kill that hope, multiple times. And only helped Shanks with Luffy when Shanks had to trick him into it (oh the horror what a devil that redhead/s). Shanks is just a broken Luffy, he was bright and sunny and had hopes but from likely learning about the prophecy or whatever that he was not going to be JoyBoy, so he gave up his dream for the world. All of this. All of these terrible things Shanks has gone through for everyone and everything and how Buggy tries to destroy every single one of it and somehow Shuggy shipper STILL manage to coddle Buggy and treat him like some cute tsundere that was wronged by Shanks and Shanks is the one that needs to chase after Buggy because evil Shanks betrayed him. That Shanks is the stupid longing ex husband that needs his wife back and that he messrd up when Buggy is a terrible friend at the VERY best and an abusive one at worst. That is why i "hate" Shuggy. I don't tag my hate post as Shuggy because i'm some sort of ragebaiter or slanderer trying to take away the happiness that is Shuggy its because I need Shuggy people to realize that the way they portray the ship is so utterly unfair to Shanks. The story goes on and on and you find out more and more about how Shanks sacrificed so much yet you're telling ME that i "don't even understand the story and characters" like the whole dynamic of Buggy isn't that he's horrible and its funny to see him get karma while somehow surviving and that Shanks's role is to be the sacrificial lamb to everything while having no one to take atleast some of the burden off.

Shuggy people and the way they portray it is toxic. Its not just they treat Shanks like the longing ex husband for the comedy, every artwork and fic and story i've seen its always Buggy needing to be apologized to and they're serious in that being the good and what should happen option and not, i don't know, the literal bad guy abusive person being the one to go "oh shit i need to change my ways and I have to apologize and help the friend I abandoned". No its always just adding more shit to Shanks's already about to break apart plate. It's maddening seeing it. It has so much potential to be an amazing ship that can explore the relationship between someone that used to be abusive learning that they arent the victim and atoning while finding love in eachother's comfort but instead its just victim blaming 101. Shanks could end up fucking dying horribly in One Piece while Buggy watches and goes "serves you right" and somehow Shuggy lovers would go "oh nonono its actually just him being a cute tsundere and look he feels bad deep inside so its all forgived and Shanks just dies ig idk anyway poor Buggy." There is so much wrong with the ship and how its treated that all that shit about shuggy haters trying to debunk it using some shitty half assed excuse like its "emotional incest" when theres so many other problems is if i looked at a history book and was like "Yeah the colonizers of the America were definitely wrong because their wigs were weird" like thats completely insignificant! Shuggy and the way its treated as if Buggy is the wronged one and always the loved and longed after while he has his poor hurt heart closed off from years of trauma like abandoning his friend and pillaging and killing innocent civilians while using their wealth to flaunt and pretend like he's big and strong.

Shuggy should not be a fix it via victim blaming Shanks and treating him like some dumb dog that loves Buggy so much it should be using the fact that Buggy has an inferiority complex and that he longs to be in the spotlight that he slowly learns that theres a reason why he's at the bottom. That is my issue. I'm not ignoring the story i am looking st the story with everything i possibly can because I even used to be kinda alrighy with Shuggy. It is literally now that we are learning more about Shanks and that im rereading One piece and remembering how horrible Buggy is that I'm realizing how horribly its treated. I mean look I started this off that I would try and summarize it but its so hard to summarize when theres so much wrong. I'm okay with shipping, i really am, but the ship is toxic, and the "fluffy" stuff is even toxic because its just making Shanks's misery worse. I need yall to realize that. This is not mindless hate.

OUGUTHHT ITS ALL OVER THE SCREENBITS ALL OVER TJE SVREEMMMNN

Shoutout to tomboys, you’re great and valid. Someone asked me for this in a comment section but I can't @ them but here you go!

One piece men x tomboy reader. Shanks, Sanji, Zoro.

Shanks

Shanks first met you at a bar.

It might be cliche but he gets fawned over by women (and men) often, you were different.

When you came up to him he already noticed you weren’t the most feminine, but you seemed cool so he didn’t mind.

Before he could lay on some charm, though, you had challenged him to a drinking contest with ridiculous rules.

If you won, you got to join his crew.

Immediately it was like the alcohol in his hand didn’t matter, your boldness was too amusing.

“What’s in it for me? Surely a pretty woman like you has something to offer?”

He didn’t mean what he alluded to, just a test to see what you were like.

When you said you had information on something he would definitely like, well, what kind of a pirate wouldn’t be tempted?

What he didn’t expect is how good of a drinker you were.

Shanks gets drunk, but his mind will stay sober, but you were drinking more than he could handle.

It was a tie, the bar ran out of alcohol.

The both of you were on the verge of passing out when he gave you a thumbs up and said you were in, you gave one back and said you’d give him the info too.

It was the worst hangover since the first time he got blackout drunk when young but man was it an amazing investment.

Turned out you knew info on a rival of his causing trouble around his territories, and you were an amazing fighter.

Shanks couldn’t help himself, he might’ve exploded if he tried not to flirt with you.

Flirts turn to touching and touching leads to the bed, you’re good.

Perfect, really, he fell hard for you.

A capable woman who’s fun to be around, gets along with his crewmates, and is great in bed?

He doesn’t care that you aren't feminine, you’re the most attractive woman he could ask for.

Shanks asked you out and you accepted, now he’s your #1 supporter.

Playing a drinking game? His bets are on you.

Threw a guy who touched you across the bar? Way to go!

You think you can beat him in a fight? Sure, just don’t mind if he gets a little handsy during it~

Overall there is no clear calm and smart one in the relationship, both of you are dumb and Beckman couldn’t be any more unhappy.

Sanji

Sanji is completely put off.

When you first met he was absolutely ready to fawn over you but the moment you, instead of getting mad or flirting back, patted him on the shoulder with a “Thanks, man!” he just stood there.

He almost looked around as if someone else said it.

The way you speak, act, the way you are, it’s like everything in him is rejecting it.

Women are supposed to be sacred, beautiful creatures to be worshiped, yet why are you working out with the mosshead and yelling as loud as Franky?

He still treats you kindly, of course, but there is a bit of a gap between what he’s known all his life and what’s being taught to him.

It changed one day though, you two were running from marines and he tripped.

Embarrassment had flooded through him at tripping in front of a lady(?), but when you had picked him up and kept running his heart started racing.

Here he was, the gentleman, being carried like a princess by a woman.

He couldn’t even protest, it wasn’t long after that that he caught feelings and you two started dating.

Now he worships you in other ways. Always calling you strong and beautiful.

Sometimes he’s still embarrassed, but lord knows he's in way too deep now.

Please be understanding if he pretends that something is too hot for him to touch or if he acts like a damsel.

Getting taken care of by a strong girlfriend just feels way better for him than he could’ve ever imagined.

Zoro

He dislikes you at first, not because you’re a woman that’s masculine, but because he sees you like a challenger.

You drink like him, work out with him, even sleep in random places sometimes. He’s supposed to do that!

You even took the spot he likes to nap in!

Not to mention he can’t even pick a fight with you without the cook immediately butting in because you’re a “lady”.

Lady his ass! You’re hardly a woman!

This sort of thing stopped one day when you two were bickering a bit, and once again Sanji stepped in.

Usually the argument switches over to him and Sanji but this time you weren’t having it and grabbed Sanji by the leg, flinging him away like a ball before looking back at Zoro.

He couldn’t help it, seeing the curly brow about to defend you like a knight only to be flung away was too funny and he ended up cracking a smile.

Like that, he stopped seeing you less as competition and more as someone to do things with.

One day Nami made a joke while dragging you two back to the ship “Ugh you two are always together, are you dating or something?”

That seemed to open something up.

Zoro didn’t really think of you as a woman, not that that was much different than other women, but if he were ever to have a lover in his life he would like someone to do the things he loves with.

He asked you out and you said yes, then you two started dating.

Seems loveless at first, but he ends up using the time to get to know you, and really appreciates you.

He treats you like a person, not like some unruly woman (even if he says that sometimes to mess with you).

You’re the type of couple where people can’t tell if you’re dating or not, but behind closed doors he’ll rest his head on your lap and let you play with his hair.

You’re the only one he’ll tolerate making any sort of grass jokes about his hair, girlfriend privilege.

guess what happened

my version feat my friends