Stay Miserable

alright bet it was a close fight too

Idea popped into my mind, though i've had it in my mind for a while now. Inspired by this one video i saw a while back (can't find it now) of some person who did the same thing to their cats. If i find it later ill quote this with it. Also comment if you want someone else with this. @mere-mortifer this is just a scenario thing but idk if it counts tell me if it doesnt and you just meant one shots.

Thunk

Various x GN!reader. Platonic. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Brook.

Luffy

“Did you have to spill it? Haven’t you gotten instincts for that?” You say, peeved as you clean up Luffy’s spilled juice.

“I don’t have that on all the time.” He says with a huff, begrudgingly grabbing more paper towels for you until he realizes something. “There’s no more.” It’s run out.

“No more?” You look back at him and see the empty paper towel roll, sighing. “Give it here.” He hands it to you and you bonk it on his head softly with a “thunk”.

“Hey!” He rubs the spot you did it, putting on his straw hat for protection.

“Small punishment, we’ll have to do it with a cloth so go get that for me; even if it’ll be a hassle to have to rinse it out.” Luffy pouts, but gets it anyway since he’ll be scolded if he doesn’t.

Zoro

You’re cleaning up Zoro’s workout equipment, he could do it himself but you’re doing it this time since he’s eating a sandwich Sanji made for protein. “You don’t clean these as often as you should.” You tell him while cleaning up the pole for weights.

“I’m the one who uses it the most anyway, if you think it’s gross just don’t use them.” The swordsman says in between bites. You notice you’ve managed to clean them with the last paper towel, pleased but still annoyed at what Zoro said. You walk over to him where he’s sitting and bonk his head with the empty roll. It makes a “thunk” sound. “Empty head.” He scowls.

“I didn’t ask you to do this.” You thunk him again. “Hey!” Thunk "Ugh."

“It’s not that much of a hassle to clean it, think of it as practicing your patience or responsibility. There’s other types of responsibilities that aren’t protection or fighting.”

“Whatever.” He mumbles and you thunk him on the head for the 4th time. “Stop!”

Sanji

“You should really take more breaks.” You say while rinsing out a cloth you were using to clean.

“I’m used to working this much from the Baratie, you have nothing to worry about.” He sits at the counter after you barely convinced him to atleast sit down for a bit.

“You only get 5 hours of sleep each night, that isn’t healthy for you even if you’re used to it.” He’s about to say something when you interrupt him. “Zoro sleeps less during the night but he naps during the day as well, Brook is a skeleton, and Luffy sleeps whenever he wants during the day as well if he’s tired. You do not.” The cook closes his mouth having been corrected. You grab a paper towel to dry off the counter and realize it’s the last one. You walk over to Sanji, who’s looking down at the ground, and bonk him on the head using the empty roll with a “thunk” sound. “I don’t mind you asking me for help if you need it, so use that assistance to rest a bit. I mean it.”

“...Okay..” He mumbles, his gaze still to the ground as he fumbles with his hands like a scolded little kid.

Robin

“I’m usually more careful than this.” Robin says while she makes sure none of the books have gotten wet. “I suppose I was too focused on the text.”

“If it means it was interesting enough then I’m sure the author would be flattered.” You say while cleaning up a drink she had knocked over while reading. Once she’s made sure nothing got wet she puts the books down on her lap. “There’s no point feeling bad about it now.” You manage to clean everything up by the time the paper towels have run out.

“I apologize for making you do this, you seemed focused as wel-” You lightly bonk her on the head with the empty roll, making a “thunk” sound. Her eyes widen as she looks up at you, shocked.

“Lighten up, you’re acting like you’ve forced me. Of course I would do this for you, you’re my friend.” Her eyes are still wide but she eventually smiles.

“Then I’ll thank you instead. Thank you.” You smile back at her when she thanks you.

“You’re welcome.” You bonked the bad thoughts out of her.

Brook

“If I could see your pantie-” Brook gets hit on the head HARD by Nami before she storms off, walking past you as you notice Brook now sitting on the ground rubbing his forehead.

“Hit again? You really don’t learn your lesson, huh?” You say while standing in front of him. “It was hard this time too, I heard it from where I was.”

“She knocked my brains out! Not that I had any to begin with yohoho!” He jokes, though he never really expects Nami to show her panties. It’s more of a habit at this point, something he gained from the past he’s reluctant to let go of.

“More like scrambled since you can still joke.” You’re holding an empty paper towel roll, on the way to throw it out before you heard the commotion. You get an idea and thunk him on the head with it, “To unscramble,” then do it again. “now to bonk those thoughts out.” He looks up at you, presumably processing what happened since you can’t really see an expression. He rubs his head for a second.

“You’ve warmed my heart (Y/n)-san, not that I have one!” His laugh is slightly less loud. “You’re a miracle worker…” He’s silent for a bit, then goes back to normal. “We should see panties to celebra-” Thunk.

Oda canonically does not care for self shippers. Self ship all you want

im going to read all op sbs up to the chapter the anime is on in case i get spoiled. Lets see how this goes. Im on the first one, oda is funny.

"Robin's definitely the most heartless of the strawhats"

Also Robin:

Compliments

Shanks x reader. Male in mind but nothing is gendered. 500ish words

Shanks is used to compliments, he gets them often because he’s objectively handsome. Even his faults, like the missing arm and scars, add to his charm. Still, there are some things that catch him off guard. Like you.

“Your face is really pleasing to look at.” You tell him.

“Thanks, kid, look all you want. Consider it a perk of having me as your captain!” He’s got the biggest grin on his face, just because he’s complimented often doesn’t mean he dislikes it now.

“I do, and I will continue to do so.” You give him more to eat. “Your lips are a little chapped but the way they’re framed by your stubble makes them so kissable.” Shanks flushes slightly but his smile gets wider. 

“You’re really laying it on, huh? I never thought his ego could get bigger but I can practically see it inflating.” Beckman jokes, lighting a cigarette. “You only joined a couple months ago and he walks around like a show dog now.” 

“C’mon~ Why shouldn’t I? Clearly I’m doing a favor to the world, right?” Shanks dismisses, happy from your compliments that are always thought out. Whether it’s complimenting the shade of red his hair is or how his wrinkles compliment his features, he loves it. The way you say it too, you aren’t flirting with him, just saying your truth. 

“You’ve got him all buttered up.” Beckman’s almost disgusted, seeing Shanks at his grown age getting all fuzzy from some compliments. Though to be honest if he got thoughtful comments about himself as often as you do to Shanks he might be the same. He won’t say that though, someone has to keep the Captain’s ego down. “It’s hurting my eyes.” Shanks huffs slightly at that.

“No need to be jealous, you can be the third handsomest on the ship. After (Y/N).” The redhead states, flirting softly then looking to you for a reaction. You give him a nod.

“Beck is handsome too.” No reaction. Shanks feels slightly dejected, but still nice. This just means that you really are giving these comments from objective observation. He does feel bad just getting all of this without giving you anything back, though. 

“So are you, maybe my charm just attracts other charming people.” He winks.

…

You nod, Shanks sighs. “Take the compliment kid.”

“Sorry. it’s just… I’m a little distracted right now.” You respond.

“Charming enough that I’ve got your head in the clouds, now?” He half-jokes.

“Yeah. Your lips really do look kissable right now. I thought about grabbing your waist too, it would feel really nice in my hands.” 

"..." Shanks flushes again, are you flirting with him or not? 

“Hand on waist… so nice, when your face flushes it’s close to the color of your hair. It’s really cute.” You look to the distance, your mind wandering. It clicks to the captain and first mate, maybe this isn’t flirting OR compliments to be nice. You might just be too honest with an inability to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Ahh the smoek from the fire is givinf me a headache :((

i just wanted something to help me feel less alone when the world around me is so stressful all of the time

Psst, Law has a very cute surprise for you~