Have Not Stopped Thinking About This Picture I Took Of Tansy This Morning

H-How do I look?

She wears a ring from me >:v

best friend's older brother soap who flips up ur skirt whenever ur over and laughs when u shriek at him, loudly talks about how he'd fuck u to his friends when he knows that u and his brother can hear u (gets pissed off if any of the other guys is a little Too enthusiastic tho), BOLTS to their pool if he finds out ur coming over and may go for a swim he would just love easier access to yank ur top down and bikini tops are so flimsy did you lose it?

bit through my fist while reading this, anon. (dubcon/noncon below)

bolts to see you when he hears that your best friend brought you over to swim and hang out. says the crassest things about your tits and lifts you up when you try to duck around him to go back inside the house, a poor excuse to grope you. throws you into the pool when you scream at him to let you down, mostly because he probably wants to see your bikini get all wet :((

it makes you hate going over to your best friend's house, so you usually invite them over to your place, but that just ends in Soap confronting you when he sees you around town. maybe he snatches you bag and holds it over your head just to watch you try to jump for it, says he'll only give it back for a kiss :(( but at the last second, he turns his head and gives you a sloppy kiss on the mouth :((

pulling you into the bathroom when you finally come over to your best friend's house, thinking Soap wouldn't be there because he was supposed to be away camping that weekend, and covering your mouth while he tells the person knocking on the door that he'll be out in just a second. big hands groping at your tits while you're screaming behind the hand covering your mouth. pulling the top of your bathing suit down and cooing when he pinches your nipples until you cry.

Humans are Space Orcs story where humans are known for our storytelling and acting abilities. While these talents are somewhat respected, there’s a major stigma against humans because we’re also the best liars.

“Humans don’t actually feel anything at all, they just mimic emotions to trick others into believing them”

“Never trust a human. They lie like the rest of us breath”

“Humans spend so much of their lives acting, it’s impossible to tell when they’re being truthful”

“In human culture, great respect is awarded to ‘actors’ who are able to mimic other persons and emotions with startling accuracy”

“Some ‘actors’ are able to ‘perform’ hundreds of unique characters”

“Acting is so ubiquitous in the human culture that many consider it polite to lie”

“Sarcasm is a common, casual game played between humans, where one human says something untrue and the other human must guess what truth they are thinking. Humans unable to perform this ritual are often ostracized by their peers”

“If you see a human crying, do not immediately assume they are hurt. Humans have been known to use their ‘acting’ abilities to trick unsuspecting travelers into giving up an unreasonable number of belongings”

“All interstellar travelers are required to read up on popular ‘scams’ or ‘cons’ performed by humans in the region they are traveling to”

So, fatui harbingers 🛐🛐

❀ Demon Slayer ❀

Upper Moons // “What They Would Feed Their S/O?”

I’m really hungry and I really wanted to see some aesthetic food. Also thinking about what they’d feed their significant other.



Douma - Hotpot

• You deserve the best, and he’ll demand that his followers prepare the most delicate meats and brew the most delicious tonkatsu broth.

• Its no surprise, but it’s always deadly cold around him. Seriously, it’s literally always winter, and since you’re around him you never really get to see the sun.

• This always makes you crave warm foods. Not just warm foods in general, but soup. Tasty, creamy, delicious, soup.

• So to add everything together, Douma will give you hotpot. Lots of veggies and meat to be cooked in boiling hot soup that you crave so much.

“Y/n my dear, how does the broth taste? Is it to your liking? Would you like me to get my followers to brew you a new soup base? Hm? How about Miso?… Just let me know, anything for you my darling…”

Akaza - BBQ

• Akaza loves meat, but unfortunately he won’t eat it cooked. Let alone he won’t eat it at all for obvious reasons. He loves human meat.

• But he will however, let you eat all the meat you can. Sometimes to feel included, and to make you feel better he’ll eat some parts of the meat raw. At least their would be some sort of nutrients he’d get.

• Afterall he can’t really start cooking human meat in front of you. (He’d never eat a human in front of you to begin with.)

“C’mon Y/n! Try the brisket! Or the Prime short ribs! If humans eat a lot of protein it’ll make them stronger! Or I can get you something else to eat on the side? Maybe some rice? A salad?”

Daki/Gyutaro - Sushi

• Honestly it’s more of something Daki would eat if she were still human. However, it was her favorite when she was alive, and she loved the expensive taste of it.

• So why not give you the best? Gyutaro barely remembers were he’d pick some up for Daki when they were younger, so Daki demands one of her under links to pick some up for you.

“Don’t you guys dare pick up any of that store bought crap. I want it fresh made from fish caught today. I expect you to be back with their food in less than an hour. I don’t disappoint them and don’t disappoint me…”

Kokushibo - Okonomiyaki

• A classic dish that you are bound to love. Kokushibo hasn’t eaten human food in a very long time.

• Thus, he doesn’t remember what is good and what isn’t.

• So he sticks with a classic food he sees most people eat. Eggs, cabbage and meat all squished into a pancake, topped with special sauce and bonito flakes.

“Here Y/n, you should eat… I don’t want you to get hungry. I don’t know what you like, but I hope that you enjoy it. Next time we can go someplace else together…”

Shinobu never really put love first, it was always an afterthought. Even when her older sister Kanae would gush about the cute and polite men she had encountered that day, Shinobu couldn’t really see the big deal. Sure, she could appreciate a handsome face, but she couldn’t exactly see herself being attracted to one. So while Kanae went on and on, Shinobu would quietly hum in acknowledgment and busy herself with other tasks. It wouldn’t be until years later that Shinobu was forced to face her confusing relationship with what she was attracted to. You had gotten injured, landing yourself a week stay at the infirmary with Shinobu as your doctor. You were kind, reserved but talkative, your smile made her heart thump wildly in her chest. For the first time, Shinobu thinks she finally understands the reason Kanae would gush about this feeling… the feeling of attraction. She nearly cried from relief after leaving your room, after having that realization. For years it lingered in her mind, what if there was something wrong with her? Why couldn’t she feel attracted to the men her sister gushed about? Turns out, she was focusing her attention on the wrong people. She was attracted to women this whole time. She took on her new found realization with pride, making advances with you slowly to see if you would reciprocate. When you did? All bets were off, Shinobu made you hers, there and then in that infirmary. Already addicted to the high of being in love with you.

Konpira Fune Fune, the drink game, with the geiko Naosome by sayaka hattori on Youtube. Naosome-chan loses =^^=

The lyrics are:

Konpira funefune oite ni hokakete syura syusyu syu mawareba sikokuha sansyu naka no gouri zouzusan Konpira Daigongen ichido mawareba Konpira funefune oiteni hokakete syura syusyu syu

Being so sensitive to squirting that the 141 make fun of your for it and have little competitions to see who can make you squirt the fastest :(

Johnny holds the record of 37 seconds from fingering you so fast you couldn’t tell when his fingers were inside or out of you.

After their little competition your poor pussy was so swollen and sensitive that all it took was a few rough spanks to your pussy from Price to make you squirt again.

“Oh well look at that? Seems we got a new record holder hm?” Price teases you and Johnny.

“That doesn’t count the competition is over!” Johnny exclaims angrily at Price.

Meanwhile Simon and Gaz are fucking rock hard from watching you squirt again so quickly.

His name is Kabukimono

Not Kunikuzushi

You fake ass fans

He took on the name Kunikuzushi after the Third Betrayal (like the edgelord he is), shortly before becoming part of the Fatui's Harbingers. Why the fuck would Ei name him "country destroyer" when he was originally meant to serve as a vessel for the Electro Gnosis?

Did you guys not even play the Interlude Quest? The npcs all called him Kabukimono.

About your language brainrot. I see your "Reader's writing can't match tyvat's long and flowery writing" and bring you "Tyvat isn't used to books over 50 pages long so a short story to the Reader is a whole dictionary to tyvat readers".

Seriously, have you seen how thin the books are? They don't wrote novels, they write short chapters formatted in the way really old stories are. As in, summarizing all the events down into one smooth story then adding a few quotes. Fanfiction writers are insane. They will willingly sit down and write hundreds of words at a time. To them, a proper modern day story of maybe, oh 10k words or so, would probably be like the Oddessy itself.

If we were to combine the two headcanons. It would end up as many historians being intimidated by this insanely long written scripture in the language of the forgotten.

I'm going to take this a step further and say that if the creator asked some people to proofread their things, it would establish a hiarchy of who is able to actually finish the book the creator read and who isn't.

NOW THIS, THIS IS MY FUCKING JAMMMM

I'm so sorry this is so old!! u probably all know this by this point that I've really slowed down as the year has gone on, but I graduated university and then got my first job so its been pretty crazy!

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: dash of all the book/nerds of Genshin, heavy on Sumeru?

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Cussing, 16+ Mature Audiences, Spoliers for Sumeru Archon Quests/Scaramouche, & Trigger Warnings: mention of shipping/characters shipping themselves with you.

Comment if any missed, please.

☆

FULL STOP.

THE AKADEMIYA, FONTAINE RESEARCH INSTITUTE, HAVE BEEN WAITTTINNGGGG ON YOUR ASS LMAO

You fall from the fucking sky like a 5 star, or pop out of the Irminsul or whatever

and immediately are mobbed by scholars. LMAO jkjk (not really, bc that's what it’d feel like)

can you even imagine the dread older stories(”the classics” to them), that was instilled in the poor students around Teyvat??

id like to think ur works are the most preserved over the thousands of years of Teyvat archeologists excavating them, in comparison to other authors (teyvat just likes you more, suck it William Shakespeare)

also, bc I cant resist language differences/world building I'm sorryyyy 😭 😭

the vocab of Genshin lang vs. ours, has significantly less vocabulary like their actual dictionary is 1/3 the size of ours type of energy

(Omfg all ur fanfics being considered like insanely long realistic romantic classics or tragedies like Jane Austen-level, and only the richest and biggest play companies put on plays about ur stories bc the script goes on for hours)

(ur plays only get put on for rlly big events bc of this, like Lantern Rite or like a Summer/Winter festival/your birthday, which is, yes, an international holiday)

dude the sheer power move of anything you’ve written being essentially “Journey of the West” to them, like Damnnn.

endless like adaptations, plays, Teyvat-short stories condensing it, (THEIR OWN FANFICTION ABOUT UR STORIES)

the power is, in fact, going to your head every time another scholar both deflates at how long ur stuff is, but also lights up bc they get to read it

speaking of scholars… you know who snatched you up first. you know. you don’t even need to read the next line.

Alhaitham.

sneaky bastard he is, absolutely manipulated, mansplained (and manwhored bc he knows he’s handsome, cheeky little shit) his way into getting you to sit down with him and interview you about both translating other classics, your own, giving your own analysis of others works and ur own, and picking ur brain apart of how/why you wrote urs, etc. its fucking endless,

Kaveh had to come rescue you bc u were starving to death after getting stuck with the Haravatat scholar in his office for nearly 7 hours of interrogation discussion about literature

and Alhaitham wasn't even nearly done, he’d informed you as you left that he already had another appointment for later conversation scheduled (how?? you don't even know ur own schedule??? you have a schedule???) and was looking forward to more of your “creative and enlightening input” :)))

(you’re never going to escape him, not even Nahida herself can save you from his stubborn ass)

On another note, Xingqiu is quaking when you agree to autograph his copy of your stories (of which he has all hard covers of the first edition translations)

Zhongli/Rex Lapis is known for having a near-lifelong passion for searching for your works specifically, and learning how to translate them better into Teyvatian vernacular

like the same way he can absolutely speak on Rex Lapis facts/rocks/adepti info, is the same confidence he speaks about knowing ur work lol

(yes he did also ask for several autographs and another sit-down talk about the works, tho a lot more sneaky then Alhaitham bc he just casually gets u guys into it during dinner)

Barbatos/Venti has written some of the most famous songs based on your stuff, he has his favorites too,

but he always claims the best songs are any that have been written in the story, like either when a character sings something, or there are like quotes from songs ur fanfics are based on lol

(he also demanded to hear what they actually sound like from you, yes, you have to sing them for him lol)

Venti also can surprisingly drunkenly ramble the entirety of at least one of ur stories, like, word for word lmao

(Diluc gave in and did give him a drink on the house for that one, just once, Venti doesn’t remember it lol)

(I forgot to mention, u guys still speak the same language, just like, different versions of it)

ur works being one of the few things all the Archons can freely talk about with each other, like it’s neutral ground bc they’re all fangirling about it lmao

Furina and Neuvillette have had like,, fierce debates over the decades about character dynamics and the general drama of ur stories, they’ve gotten into it enough they’ve stopped talking to each other for a couple days a few times lol

Albedo, Sucrose, Kokomi, Yae Miko, Ei, Raiden, have read every single work they’re gotten their hands on in Teyvat (it took them like a literal year or longer)

Albedo drew you fanart for every single story, bc he’s hyperfixated on everything related to you ngl,

Kokomi had commissioned smaller pocket versions of ur works (which later got popular thanks to Yae Miko) both the OG and the Teyvat shortened versions

THE HARBINGERS ARE THE MOST DOWN BAD LMAO

Childe has literally tried to recreate battle scenes from ur works lmao

and gets especially riled up about fighting someone who resembles any characters from them (esp villains, what a cutie)

You cannot fathom the amount of research throughout Teyvat that has been secretly or indirectly funded by Pantalone/Tsaritsa

from the experts to analyze them, to funding play companies to act them out, to actually excavating places to get more of ur stuff unearthed

(the Harbingers absolutely are the first group of people that got to read several of ur stories first bc of this, like the world’s most exclusive secret book club lol)

Scaramouche used to clown on Childe all the time about how he was too impatient to even “sit down and read the King’s classics”, and he was downright insufferable when he found out about Tartaglia’s habit of recreating battle scenes/that being what motivated him to fight sometimes lol

that being said, Wanderer surprisingly never forgot ur stories.

Even when his memories were wiped for a bit, he found comfort in these fantastical epics still sticking around, even when his old names did not

(he mayyyy or mayyy nottt have secretly namedhimselfafteroneofthetragicprotagonistsherelatesto- )

oh btw, Nahida also found joy and comfort in ur stories when she was trapped, they also helped her literally grow as a person bc she had ur stories to help her sort of process the world/what life was like outside of her dreaming prison 🥺💔❤️‍🩹

◇

OMFG

ANYWAY FULL TONE SHIFT LMFAO-

the ABSOLUTE SPIRAL-RED-STRING-CONSPIRACY-THEORY-BOARD ENERGY IF THIS WAS A BLUNT LANGUAGE AU LMAOOOO

like specifically how Teyvatians like to give all the context ever thru their words, but older deities/beings like you just do simple phrases that can have deeper meanings (whereas teyvat just explains all the meanings behind their words)

STOP there’s like an official display at the Akademiya and Fontaine Institute of red string theory boards 😭😭 (look what you’ve done to themmm LMAO)

for like every story of urs, INCLUDING THE FANFICS STOP

IMAGINE THE SHIPPING WARS IF U EVER WROTE ONE THAT WASNT EXPLICIT OR LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN ROMANTIC INTERESTS HAD CHEMISTRY WITH OTHER CHARACTERS HAHAHAHAA

that's actually what Akademiya scholars argue about the most viciously, it’s like politics you can’t just bring up ships from ur stories casually in regular convos 💀

(poor Cyno has to deal with a shipping war once a year bc someone always makes the mistake of reading ur work for the first time (without being told to not talk to others abt ships lol) and it starts an all out brawl in the cafeteria every time LMAO)

Also yes.

Cyno is a fanboy.

(he has read Creator x Reader-insert fanfiction.)

(As have most of the characters mentioned, and those not lol)

…

(I'm gonna make a whole Creator x reader fanfic post one day i stg lmao)

☆

an iced coffee? for me?? :0

ok but real talk…

wtf do you guys wanna see for new years!!

i didn't do a inktober/october days thingy bc i felt too unprepared (and bc id wanted to post that 1000+ followers eldritch au for Halloween)

but now i kinda wanna, at least for a few days :o

ill post a poll in a minute, so check it out!! but still, please feel free to comment some ideas here! :)

Safe Travels Deafening Dreamer,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

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