When I Waited In Anticipation, For Two Years, For Season 2 Of The Bad Batch, Never For One Moment Did

Breaking the ACOTAR 4th wall:

Rhys: I won the Blood Rite. But Cassian had to carry me the last bit.

Gwyn: Me too.

Rhys: My sister was decapitated and I had to see the traumatic remains.

Gwyn: Me too.

Rhys: I underwent devastating sexual assault.

Gwyn: Me too.

Rhys: I’m a halfbreed.

Gwyn: Me too.

Rhys: We have a lot in common.

Gwyn: We do.

Rhys: So why do Elriels insist on protecting you from sexual intimacy, call out how you aren’t a real Carynthian and ridicule your roots but not me?

Gwyn: That would be because I’m a rival love interest for Azriel and they have to tear apart my character to invalidate my relevance and keep their sinking ship afloat.

Rhys: *picks at lint* Gross.

Gwyn: Yup.

I am now incredibly angry this didn’t happen

imagine a Clone Wars episode/arc where a criminal is hired to dig up dirt (real or imagined) on the Jedi so they’re expelled or fall out of favor with the Chancellor or something

but like the investigator/criminal gets inVeStEd

“what do you MEAN Windu has never taken a day?? in his Jedi career?? someone teach this man SELF CARE”

“what do you MEAN General Kenobi would have left the order for Satine Kryze??? and they haven’t seen each other in over seven months?? do I NEED to wreak havoc on Mandalore so you can get thee to her, ginger-in-chief?”

“what do you MEAN Yoda’s apprentice fell to the dark side? what absolute madman does that to a liddle green bloke?”

“I have a bad feeling about exposing any of General Skywalker’s private life… as in… imperially bad feeling… I think he needs some blankets and maybe calming herbal teas”

“boss I’m sorry Commander Tano has done nothing wrong in her life ever”

we don't give percy enough credit tbh honestly if i was 12 and my mom died and my best friend was a goat and my father was a sea god and i was expected to go around the country looking for my uncle's thunderbolt with a girl that i was pretty sure hated my guts while literally everyone in my life was hiding things from me and never giving me any information so i had to peice everything together and still being called dumb i would go on a homicidal killing spree. i think percy managed to beat up ares because of the unhealthy amount of rage and agitation that was building up inside of him. honestly i don't blame him at ALL pop off king

Tech: This is Phee, she’s a pirate

Phee: Liberator of Historical Artifacts to you Brown Eyes ;)

Crosshair: ….

Crosshair: There’s no fucking way

the turkey swiss on rye incident

*takes you on a museum date and proceeds to explain the most disgusting and bizarre facts to you with unveiled excitement*

Okay so I’ve had the Gwynriel head canon for a while and I need to share it.

Imagine it’s “Family Dinner” for the IC and gang and they’re down at the River House

I mean everyone is there, including Lucien and Varian

(for the sake of the story and the fact that I’m a huge Elain/Lucien shipper let’s say they are together at this point)

They’re all eating and all of a sudden Feyre turns to Azriel

She then says “Hey Azriel, there is this girl in my art class”

(at this point the rest of the table shuts up real quick)

She then, with the help of Rhys, tells him all about this girl who they think is just perfect for him

But what no one at the table knows is that he’s been seeing Gwyn for almost a year (they swear they didn’t mean to make it a secret, it just kinda happened)

And Azriel has to tell them “she sounds great but I’m actually already seeing someone”

Dead silence

Then the room ERUPTS

(Let’s remember, Azriel only had feelings for Mor for 500 years, then another women who was unavailable. And this friend group also has absolutely no concept of privacy, so this would be big news.)

Cassian and Rhys are trying to be calm but they are effectively losing their minds

Mor is just grinning and hammering him with questions

As is Feyre

He eventually agrees to bring her to Family Dinner™️ the next time they all get together

So the next day he tells Gwyn

She is understandably very nervous, but excited to officially meet everyone

(Of course she already knows Nesta and Cassian, and she’s met Mor a few times. She met the rest of his family very briefly at Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony but that’s it.)

She then insists they have to go shopping so she can find something to wear, since all she has is her priestess robes and training leathers, she also has that dress she wore to Nesta’s mating ceremony but she’s meeting her partner’s family, it’s a special occasion

And it’s not like she can go with Nesta or Emerie without raising alarm bells

So Azriel goes with her

And she has to look perfect, she insists she can’t overdress and she certainly can’t underdress, not when she’ll be dining with the High Lord, High Lady, and the Morrigan

So she eventually finds this dress that she thinks is just perfect

She tries it on and shows Azriel and he is blown away

“You look so beautiful Gwyn”

He says a bunch of other cute shit

Needless to say she buys it and heads back to the House of Wind with Azriel

The day of the dinner, Gwyn is surprisingly calm

Azriel on the other hand is freaking out

I mean he is so nervous

He knows he is in love with Gwyn, the way he feels about her doesn’t even come close to how he felt about Mor or Elain

And she’s about to meet his family

When they get to the River House, they’re the last to arrive

They stand outside together for a moment, Gwyn can tell he’s nervous

She comforts him somehow idk

They walk in, hand-in-hand and are greeted by a grinning Rhys and Cassian standing in the entry way (á la Cassian and Azriel meeting Feyre in ACOMAF)

And Cassian busts out laughing

Rhys just stares, eyes wide

Once Cassian recovers, he says “Oh Nesta is gonna be so pissed I found out before she did”

Rhys, ever the gentleman, steps forward and shakes Gwyn’s hand, introducing himself

They chat for a few minutes before heading into the living room, where everyone else is

Nesta is the first to see them

She looks right at Gwyn and says “oh you bitch”

After somewhat awkwardly introducing Gwyn to everyone, they all sit down for dinner

The group grills Gwyn with questions

They chill out after Gwyn says something that has Azriel burst out laughing

Long story short they all end up loving her and are very happy for the couple

And if they notice his shadows are more lively around her, they don’t say anything

I have so many Gwynriel headcanons so let me know if anyone wants more

I think about him a normal amount

Cassian: boob is too funny......tit is too aggressive.....breast is too formal.....

Azriel: it’s seven in the morning

I think Anakin and Padme deserve to Stay Besties in any AU that isn't Anidala specifically because their love languages are absolutely buckwild and insane to almost anyone else, but match up to each other pretty perfectly, which means that if they aren't dating each other, they are the exact right person to have egging the other on and enabling whatever unhinged bullshit they're planning on doing in the name of romance.

Anakin thinks he needs to serenade his partner? Padme hires him an orchestra.

Padme wants to meet daringly under the cover of night with her new secret lover because that's the only right way to do it? Anakin is staging a kidnapping for her, zero questions.

Anakin is swooning over how his love interest was kissing him! but it was actually lips-to-leg attempts to suck out the venom of a bad bite (something you're not even actually supposed to do, but hey, the Force slowed his heart down enough that maybe it helped! and he survived anyway, it's fine)? Padme is over the moon for him, that's so romantic!

Their brain cells are so, so allergic to each other. Put them in a room and all common sense flees in the face of "okay, but if I challenge her to a sword fight--" "Padme you can't challenge a Sith to a sword fight." "No no, but if I challenge her and then you swoop in for me as my substitute, and I promise a kiss to the winner and you throw the match--" "Okay I don't want to lose to Ventress but oh my god, I love it."

Move aside, Idiots to Lovers, there's a new ballgame in town!

Friends to Lovers to Idiots