The Silly

Dangerously Stupid Part 2

Continuation of Part 1

Donatello felt he was in a daze. He had checked himself top to bottom and found no concussion (thankfully) and nothing more than a few scrapes and bruises. So that ruled out brain injury as the source for why he couldn’t focus on any of his work in the full day since. He kept getting distracted by…. You. 

Donnie has a device that picks up the signal from any cell phone or smart device he comes within 30 feet of while out on patrol, and automatically registers the information of that device into his system. This comes in handy when the need arises to erase any photos or data that may come up on these phones involving him or his brothers, and to monitor the whereabouts of any thugs or civilians they may come in close contact with. Meaning, he had your phone number, right on his screen in front of him. He knew this may seem creepy but it was for security purposes, and Leo said he always needed to monitor any civilians that got close to them for safety. That was his job. And also his job to find your current location registered on your phone in your apartment. …..And your wifi network, and your laptop currently hooked up to said wifi network. It showed you were actively using it. He wrestled with himself for a moment about respecting your privacy, but curiosity got the better of him, and he quickly took a peek at what you were currently looking at on your screen. ……It was a google search on how to give yourself stitches from home. What??? Surely you weren’t- were you scrolling through poorly drawn reference pictures on a wiki-how page?!?! You then switched to another tab and googled ‘can I use a sewing needle and thread to give myself stitches’. Donnie paled. The next search: ‘how to disinfect thread’. 

He put his face in his hands and groaned. Did you not go to the hospital last night?!?! What were you thinking? He looked back up and noticed the screen had been idle for a few minutes and he was getting really worried. He quickly hacked your laptop camera, privacy be damned- to take a look to see if you were okay. The image that was brought up was an empty chair, and in the background was a cozy warm looking apartment. But there was no movement. You hadn’t fainted out of your chair had you?! He was starting to panic when you suddenly came back into screen, moving slowly and almost falling back into your chair wearing the same pants you wore last night. You had on a small tank top with the strap down, and a bloodied white towel slung over your injured shoulder, carrying armfuls of supplies that you set down on your desk by your computer with shaking hands. You looked far more pale than you had last night.

“Alright let's see…. Next it says to soak the thread and needle in the disinfectant for about 10 minutes…. I hope the thread is long enough. Hmmm… I don’t have sterile gloves so hopefully washing my hands well is good enough…” You thought out loud to yourself. Donnie was about to smash his head on his desk from your careless words. He couldn’t take it anymore. 

“What the SHELL do you think you’re DOING?!?!” After a few quickly typed commands he was patched into your laptop’s audio and yelling into his microphone, causing you to jump- startled from where you were about to reach into the bowl of disinfectant to grab the needle after only 5 minutes. You instinctually started to lower the volume on your laptop, cursing about ads on these websites always popping up and surprising you. 

“No no no! I’m not an ad- wait a minute-” Donatello quickly typed in some more buttons and your screen froze to allow his webcam feed to pop up and take over your screen, making you gasp and almost fall out of your chair. “Stop that! You’re doing to hurt yourself- well, more than you already are. You’re going to give yourself an infection!! What were you thinking-”

“IT’S YOU!!!” You shouted in surprise, holding onto your desk so you didn’t fall. If not for the deep cut still oozing from your shoulder and the attempted robbery from last night rerunning on the 6 o’clock news, you would have assumed you had dreamed of your fated meeting with the large turtle men. After waking up in a cold sweat on your couch late that afternoon, you had instead decided to focus on giving yourself first aid. “How did you- what?” You babbled trying to figure out why the purple masked man’s face was currently lecturing you from your computer screen. A worrying wave of lightheadedness made you grip your desk tighter.

“I hacked your computer. Anyways, WHY AREN’T YOU AT THE HOSPITAL?!!!” Donnie shouted in exasperation. He barely registered the sound of his lab door opening as his shouting probably attracted the attention of one of his brothers. 

You stared at him blankly for a moment, waiting for your brain to restart and register his questions after the shock of getting to see him again. “I… I don’t have health insurance.” You said a bit bluntly, settling back into your chair heavily, and bracing your good arm against your desk as a new wave of nausea overtook you from your racing heartbeat. 

“....what was that?” Donnie quickly turned around to acknowledge Leo, who had entered the door and taken up a spot leaning against the back of Donnie’s chair watching the interaction play out. At least of all his family, his most level headed brother had come in. 

You still heard the faint question and continued. “My new job… I just moved to New York two months ago for my new job. They promised me a good starting salary and a full time position, but after only 3 weeks they started cutting back on my hours. They don’t pay benefits to part timers, so I’ve already lost access to my health insurance. ….They really screwed me over, so I’m just working for them until I find a new job. I really, really, can’t afford a hospital visit after this expensive move, so….” You gently motioned to the white towel on your shoulder, a startling spot of red starting to seep through. Leo recognized the location of the wound from last night. The two brothers felt their gut clench remembering how you had gotten it. In defense of Donnie’s life. 

You were starting to slouch more over your desk, your head spinning, and your laptop’s microphone now picking up your labored breathing. Leo could see the red flush drain from your face, and Donnie recognized the symptoms. Most likely, you were about to lose consciousness. 

“Wait wait wait, hold on stay with me.” Donnie quickly ordered you through his mic, his tone becoming more serious. He quickly typed into his keyboard, now understanding the situation a bit more, and the gravity of your condition. “Do you have any roommates, anyone staying with you right now?” With a level tone he asked you some standard questions to keep you conscious as he robotically pulled up your current address. Leo had already left the room to rally their brothers and gather the first aid kit, clearly already on the same page.

“…. no. Just me.” You said quietly, now focusing entirely too much on staying upright. You really felt like you were going to throw up now. But you were too busy wracking your dizzy brain for what his name was…. D…. Donna… Donnie…. “Donatello?” You said out loud, trying to focus.

“Yes, (y/n?)” He quickly answered as he continued to quickly type something on his keyboard, he was glancing between you and another screen at his desk every other second. You smiled. He remembered your name. “We are coming to see you. If you can, try to leave your window unlocked, and go lie down on your couch or your bed. What is your apartment number?” He was quick and clear with his orders, speaking like a true doctor, you thought blearily. But you were too out of it to question how or why he was coming over.

“Mmm… Room 517, 6th floor.” Gosh why did you ever think you could do this on your own. You suddenly felt really stupid. You were trying to take care of yourself so you wouldn’t have to rely on your family for help with medical bills, but now you were just causing problems for the kind hero you met last night. “I’m sorry Donnie… I think I’m gonna pass out.” You said apologetically, head going to rest tiredly on your table next to your computer. You could distinctly hear the sound of the city filtering in through your cracked open window behind you in the living room. Your dizzy spell gripping you much stronger than it had earlier when you had first moved to stand after sleeping all night on the couch. The next thing you hear is the rattle of plastic wheels scooting as presumably Donatello was standing from his desk.

“Don’t be sorry. We’re coming to help you now, okay? Just try to stay awake.” There was a whoop and some excited chattering in the background now and some more keys being hit from his consol. “I’ll see you soon.” Came the quick but warm reply from the purple masked turtle as his webcam feed disappeared from your laptop. 

A silence hung in the room. As if it had never happened. You shifted to look up at the screen detailing a poorly drawn cartoon image of a needle poking at the edge of a wound looking back at you, and groaned audibly. Burying your dizzy head back into your good arm for a moment, you tried to sit up to go move to the couch to wait, careful not to bump into the bowl of antiseptic holding your good sewing needle and black thread. Only moments earlier you were about to try and sew up your shoulder like you were hemming a new pair of pants, only to be caught by one of this city’s apparent mutant super heroes you had met only just last night. And now he was coming here. To help you. 

Feeling another huge wash of dizziness pass over you, almost making your knees buckle as you stumbled over to the couch, you felt a larger twinge of pain in your shoulder again. Taking a seat on the cheap couch cushion, you reached up to move the towel you had soaked in the antiseptic aside to inspect the wound. You must’ve stretched the skin when you were startled earlier, because the wound was leaking deep red again as a small trail started to escape down your arm before you could stop it. Must’ve been deeper than you thought. 

That was your last thought before you passed out, head lightly falling against the couch.

“Are we almost there yet?? Ow!” Mikey called out ahead to Donnie before getting the back of his head smacked by Raphael. They were racing across rooftops making a beeline for your apartment building. Donatello, who usually gave sassy directions from the rear, was silent and serious leading the charge with Leo close behind carrying their largest portable first aid kit. 

Leo was keeping a close eye on his younger brother. When he walked by Don’s lab earlier, attracted by the shouting, he was startled to find his younger brother was talking to the person who had saved him the night before. Before he could question why, or get into his lecture about the dangers of contacting a human they only just met, he saw the look on his brother’s face. Donnie’s expression was beyond distressed. His usually level headed brother was shouting and worried because a civilian who was kind enough to step in and take a hit for him while he was down was- from what it looked like- still bleeding, almost 18 hours after the attack. And even worse from what he heard walking in, had no means of access to medical attention. He could understand Donnie’s frustration, but he was still surprised his brother had gotten this worked up.

“Hey…. Donnie,” Leo called out. “Everything alright…?” He said just low enough that it wouldn’t draw the attention of their brothers.

Donnie knew what he was getting at, so he cut right to the point. “I caught them before they could try and suture their own wound. With a sewing needle.” Donnie took a very very deep sigh. “By following a wiki-how tutorial.” Leo almost tripped off the building.

“….what?” He responded smartly. 

There was a loud snort from behind them. “Sounds badass.” Raph deadpanned and Mikey wore an expression of surprise followed by a quietly muttered ‘dude…’

Donnie groaned audibly. Thankfully your apartment building was now in sight. “I need to make sure their wound is properly disinfected before stitching it up. It’s the least I can do…” He thought back to last night. The long stare you two shared, and the concern and lack of fear you held for him in your eyes. He longed to see those eyes again… 

The building next to yours was at just the perfect height to leap across from the roof to your room’s fire escape. Leo was the first to land and give the all clear for his brothers to follow. Leo opened the window and stepped in just barely before Donnie practically toppled him over pushing past him to get inside. Snatching the first aid kit off Leo’s shoulder, Donnie quickly found your still form on the couch. 

“Right… we’ll stand guard. You’ll let us know if you need any help, okay Don?” Leo offered. Mikey pushed in through the window and made a beeline for the fridge, and Raph took a seat on the windowsill peaking in curiously.

“Yeah, Leo.” Donnie knelt quietly next to your form on the couch. All his attention was already on you.

 Leo went to stand around the living room trying to find the walls interesting while occasionally glancing at Donnie’s work, trying to stay out of the way.

Don checked you over, breath taken seeing your face again up close in the warm light of your apartment. Your breathing was deep and steady. Good. A little sweat on your brow, he looked down to see angry inflamed red skin peaking over your bare shoulder. He carefully moved the towel, stained in dried blood, and winced as the fabric pulled unstuck from the sticky bloody wound. 

You flinched, and Donnie felt his breath catch in his throat. But you did not awake, so he swallowed and signed, reaching down to open his medkit and take out a disinfecting wipe. The little damp pad unfolded and he carefully began to clean away the dried and sticky blood from around your cut so he could get a better look at the damage. There was definitely irritation but he hoped that no infection had taken hold yet. Next he disinfected his hands and pulled out his suture kit, and with practiced ease began to stitch up your shoulder. 

About 15 minutes later, and about 10 stitches into fixing you up, your eyelids fluttered open. The poking and pulling around your painfully sensitive cut had finally woken you up. You still felt dizzy and light headed, so made no sudden movements. Glancing down you saw the light reflecting off of a large polished shell. That’s right, Donnie. You still had a hard time grasping your current situation. Maybe you were in a fever dream. But there was the strangely handsome face of a mutant turtle sewing up your shoulder with his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in focus. His large goggles down over his eyes and a portable lamp light over his shoulder illuminating his work. 

You felt the poke of a new stitch and this time flinched with a little muttered “Ouch!” and suddenly you were blinded by the light hitting your face as Donnie startled and turned to face you. 

“Oh! You’re awake! Um… Sorry I’m uh… not quite done yet. I hope this is okay-” He quickly mumbled. His free hand that braced your shoulder gave an encouraging squeeze. 

You blinked a moment as your eyes adjusted to the light. He glanced back at his work and back to you and you nodded twice. 

“I need you to hold still for just a few more minutes, I’m just about finished. Okay? It’s going to sting a little.”

“...yeah. Got it.” You nodded, feeling your head quickly clear up as you felt the pinch and sting of the needle again, bracing yourself to hold still while your brows tensed from the discomfort.

You looked around your room to distract yourself from the pain. Looking across your coffee table you saw one of the other turtle mutants, the one wearing the blue bandana and caught his eyes for a moment before he quickly averted them to pretend he wasn’t staring. But after a moment he looked back at you and offered a quick nod in greeting. You supposed he might be a little shy and was trying to hide it. By your window you also caught the large cracked shell of another one. He glanced over his shoulder and met your eyes, studying you for a moment as you also took in the scar on his lips and the toothpick, before he also nodded at you with a little ‘hey’ in greeting. 

“Yo, is dudette awake? Morning sleeping beauty!” An energetic orange masked turtle man, holding a half full can of your soda, practically jumped into your line of sight, startling you a bit with a gasp. “You remember me? I’m Mik- Ouch! Leo!!” The blue masked turtle called Leo smacked him on the back of his head to quiet him with a shush.

“Mikey, I’m still working. Don’t freak them out.” Donnie quickly added, making sure you weren’t gonna move again before continuing.

“Yeah genius, your ugly mug almost made em’ pull a stitch. Save the dramatic introductions for later.” The red masked turtle sneered at Mikey. You vaguely recalled him being named ‘Raph’.

Leo, Raph, Mikey, and… “Donnie?”

You caught yourself saying out loud, making said turtle jump a little.

“Y-Yes, (y/n)?” He stuttered as he helped carefully pull you into a sitting position. The stitches were finished and it was time to wrap the wound. He reached into his bag and pulled out a package of fresh gauze.

You carefully watched him unwrap the gauze, his hands slightly shaking. “How do you know each other?” You asked him, meeting his eyes, then looking over to the others spread out in your living room.

“Brothers. We’re brothers.” Leo answered helpfully. 

“Brothers… that makes sense…” You considered how they all acted around each other and smiled warmly, looking back to meet Donnie’s eyes.

He was lifting up his goggles back to the top of his head and his eyes widened at your expression. He turned away to put his tortoiseshell glasses back in place, clearing his throat. 

“Yes, they’re… my brothers.” He tentatively smiled back at you, and began to wrap up your shoulder. 

You watched him thoughtfully for a moment, and glanced over at his brothers now quietly arguing about something over by the window. Mikey quickly looked back over at you with a bright smile before turning back to the conversation animatedly and shushing his brothers a little, earning him a smack as Raph and Leo both also shared a look with you briefly. You raised a curious brow at the antics. They were like gossiping school kids… definitely brothers.

“Hey Donnie… Sorry for causing you all trouble like this. …I didn’t want to involve anyone and thought I could handle it myself.” You said looking down. “....Thank you for coming to my rescue.” You looked up to meet his gaze and smiled at him.

“No no, this is…. It’s the least I could do. After all, I should be the one thanking you. You got this injury from coming to my rescue, I…. Thank you.” His hands stilled a moment in the midst of his wrapping and gave you a shy smile. He looked kind. 

Donnie finished the rest of the wrapping slowly, fastening the end in place carefully. 

“Um… You should change the wrapping every other day. Call me if there’s any trouble, like puffy redness around the stitches or if it starts bleeding or starts to show signs of infection-”

“Hey-” Leo suddenly cuts Donnie off, making you both look over to him where he was emerging from the group huddle. 

“How about, we come back- *ahem* Donnie, comes back again to check on you in a few days. Does… that sound good?” He asked carefully. Mikey jumping around excitedly in the background and getting a playful push from a grinning Raph. You turned with a raised eyebrow to Donatello. He was currently gawking at his older brother, glancing back between you and the blue leader. You couldn’t help but giggle a little at the antics.

“...Sure. I’d love that. If… you don’t mind, that is?” You asked the flustered purple masked mutant.

“I- I- Yes. Yes, of course. It would be my pleasure. Um. S- Next Saturday then? If you’re free?” He gathered himself and asked you kindly.

“That would be perfect.” You smiled widely, taking his hand in both of yours. “It would be nice to see you when neither of us are in danger for a change.” 

Donnie’s eyes seemed to soften as he looked at you warmly. “I would like that. Very much.” He held your hands back softly as he rose from his seat beside you. His brothers were already starting to filter out through the window, except for Mikey who was hooting and hollering quietly before getting bodily pulled through the window by his two older brothers. 

“So… next Saturday night? 9pm?”

“I’ll be here.” You responded, following him to the window. He carefully climbed out onto your balcony. He waved a final goodbye to you as he perched on the railing, and with a mighty jump, he leapt out of sight. You lunged for the railing where he just stood, looking out above you hearing whoops and cheers from the brothers as you caught a final sight of them running over the city skyline. And with a deep breath of the cool night air, you sighed in relief that you weren’t dreaming. 

Leo, Raph, Mikey, and

Donatello. You’ll have to remember that. You thought with a grin.

To the people who wanted to be updated when part 2 was released. Sorry for the long wait!! Thanks for the support!

@saspas-corner @misfortunekeep @valen-yamyam16 @genesis378

A Turtle Tail - Part II - Raphael x Reader

Part I, can be found here –> (x)

Emerald eyes locked with yours as you and Raphael held a stare off, both waiting for the other to make a move. You broke the silence with warranted teasing, “It seems as though you missed me more than just a little bit, that tail was going pretty fast.” the brute curled his upper lip, as if readying a retort, but remained quiet. A mere huff was heard as he backed away from you and crossed his arms, as if awaiting an apology. Ignoring his ornery attitude, your mind was fixated on the new piece of information you had just learned about your mutant friend. Up until this moment, you never knew the turtle brothers had tails, and you wanted to know more.

“I had no idea that you guys had tails! How in the world do you hide it so well? It’s so big, and long…” the comment that followed your question only made his redness worsen, and a prideful grin swept across his face. “Uuuhh, yeah…there’s a reason fer dat.” the behemoth chuckled at the thought, not paying attention as you slowly crept behind him for another look. It was thick and rounded at the end with two lines of ridges on it, almost like the tail of an alligator, but much smaller in comparison. Just as you reached out for his tail, he took notice of you, and quickly swatted your hand away.

“Whaddaya think yer doin’?! Don’ touch it!” He growled, flabbergasted by your bold actions. Taking his resistance as a challenge, you continued your attempts at catching the elusive appendage. Fed up with your restless hands, Raphael moved to turn his hindquarters away from you; an action that came too late, as you finally managed to snag a firm hold of it. The burly terrapin flinched, unable to prevent the pleasured gasp that escaped him. After that, it wasn’t long before the hot-head’s temper showed. “Staph! I told ya nawt ta touch it!!!” He roared as he broke free of your grip, breathing shallow from your contact with the sensitive area. He then stomped across kitchen, not trusting you in close proximity. Shooting a glare over his shoulder, he wrinkled his nose and grunted at you.

You were nonplussed by his reaction, not understanding what you’d done wrong. This quickly spiraled into dejection, and all you could do was stare at the disgruntled mutant, hoping that he would offer an explanation. Meanwhile, Raphael grumbled to himself on the other side of the room, peeved at your audacity. Upon seeing the sad look on your face, however, the testy testudine tried with all his might to calm himself.

“Hey, hey…I’m sawry, awright? It’s just that…it’s, uuuh…real sensahtive.” He then began pacing back and forth, jaw askew, as he racked his brain trying to think of the best way he could describe this to you. “Mm..my…my manhood is in there…” He said in an incoherent whisper through gritted teeth.

“Raph…I didn’t hear a word of that.”

“I said…my manhood is in there! Ya just felt up the holster to my love gun! Are ya happy now?!” He exclaimed, and you stood there, shocked. Mortification swiftly replaced surprise as you came to the realization of what you’d just done. A hush fell between the two of you once again, neither one knowing what to say. After a few minutes had been and gone, a titter passed Raphael’s lips, slowly building into uproarious laughter. Unable to resist, you soon found yourself joining in.

“Whut happens in dis kitchen, stays in dis kitchen.”

“Agreed.”

@originalwriter03 – a part II! 8D

CANNIBAL , bartolomeo

★

summary ; your lovely boyfriend, barto, is hungry! luckily for him, his amazing girlfriend (you) have just the right thing to fill him up!

warnings ; 18+ content , dark content , gore / blood , consensual cannibalism , slight dacryphilia , eating out , jersey accent barto (LOL)

a/n ; again . . . taken from my one-shot collection ! also , i'm taking requests now. i might be a bit slow , but i'll try my best !

★

★

"such cute thighs ya got..."

the green haired man between her thighs cooed. his lips kissed up them, licking them occasionally. her hands gripped the sheets, soft breaths slipping from her mouth.

"so sensitive . . ." his teeth nibbled on her thigh, dangerously close to her crotch. her hands wound up in his green locks, tugging at them gently. his mouth opened, almost like a snake. a large bite was formed into her thigh, his teeth sinking into them. she gasps, now pulling harshly on his hair. blood begins to trickle down her thighs, staining the pale, white sheets. his teeth dug deeper, flesh ripping apart, her leg now growing sore. "bartooo . . ." she whined his name, directing his mouth to her dripping cunt. her bottom lip quivered, tears brimming in her eyes. "mmm . . ." his tongue lapped at the blood, licking all the way to her entrance. her eyes fluttered shut, huffing in pleasure.

"i'm still hungry."

he bit back into her thigh, making her scream in surprise. he tugged at the flesh, ripping it off the bone. she bit her lip, holding back a moan. the pain was severe but she couldn't help but be aroused by it. blood gushed out, a small pool of it gathering underneath her. she felt disgusted with herself. tears spilled from her eyes, running down her cheeks. "aw. . . don't cry." he grabbed her hand, guiding it down to his crotch. she felt the bulge, rubbing it. bartolomeo groaned, smacking her hand away. "since ya fed me, i'll make sure to take real good care of ya, sweet thing."

he dove into her pussy, licking wildly. what a wonders a tongue like that could do. she laid her head back, whimpering in pleasure, tears still running. he continued to eat her out, tongue striding up her folds perfectly. she spoke behind her teeth, biting down. her body stiffened, feeling her climax. her mouth opened, but nothing came out. 

"ya taste betta than ya look, girly."

she pouted, looking up at him through wet lashes. "kidding, of course. you're hot as fuck!" the cannibal licked her juices up, relishing in her facial expression. the blood mixed with her cum, creating a sweet taste that barto couldn't get enough of. "such a sweet girl. now, you can help me out, can't ya?" his pants fell to the ground, his cock standing in all its glory. her eyes widened, gulping, looking at the size of it. "it's . . . way bigger than it felt." he chuckled, rubbing the missing chunk of her thigh. blood coated his slender fingers, making him grin.

"you can handle it, i know ya can."

a different kind of meat would be replacing the missing one.

★

tmnt 2012 character sheets, height differences

So first of all, I LOVE your Little Mermaid Donnie AU!! And I have a question.

When you are done with that AU and start and finish the Leo Anastasia AU, would you possibly be doing the Little Mermaid 2 with Donnie? I think that would be a cute sequel and idea.

You can completely ignore this.

Hope you have a good day/night/evening!

I-- I HADN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

that would be adorable 🥺 but Idk if I feel confident enough about making a child OC for the reader and Donnie, what do you guys think? If I continue with the second movie would you like me to make an OC character for melody?

A human child that loves the sea and tales of mermaids and yokai but has no idea of their father's yokai heritage or her uncles (There's so much angst potential there)

Tell me if you think it's a good idea!

servant ending (red world ver.)

also on twt in @tsyuning

Beheaded and Beloved [Headcanons]

Posted:09/16/23

Title: Beheaded and Beloved [Headcanons]

Yandere Buggy x GN Strawhat reader

Summary: Buggy becomes yandere over a strawhat after be stuck as a head on their ship. [Headcanons]

Author's note:

Word Count: 1128

OPLA Story List/ Master List/ Requests Here

Warnings: yandere, language, NSFW

🔞18+ page due to dark and adult themes. Minors will be blocked 🔞

Buggy was pissed off that he was not only stuck on the ship of the straw hat crew but that he didn't have his body.

The crew needs him to guide them to Arlong and Nami. Usually, he would be stuck in a bag in the corner when they didn't need him. However, a curtain little straw hat had an annoying habit of "taking care of him."

Most of the crew wouldn't care when Buggy was hungry or where he slept, but for some reason, you did. The reason this was so strange to Buggy was because you did more than necessary to provide for him.

"What the hell are you doing? Don't touch me." Buggy snips at you as you take off his stripped bandana. "I'm washing you. Your filthy..." You then went to take his long blue hair out of its bun. "Wash me?! The fucking does that mean? I'm not your little pouch." He hisses when you try to take the hair tie out of his tangled hair. "Watch it!"

You made a habit of washing him. Which includes doing his hair and rinsing off his crusty old makeup. Which he hated the first time you did.

"Don't touch my makeup you whore!" Wetting a washcloth you began to wipe it away. Buggy was starting to become insecure about what he would look like without it or that the crew would see. However, those thoughts melted away as you cleaned and moisturized his face. By the end, Buggy was quiet with his eyes closed. You even found him leaning into your caring touch.

To his surprise, you had even gotten him a little makeup to reply after all the pampering. "You... bought makeup for me?" He questioned, watching you open the new packaging. "Yeah... I figured you want to redo it after I wash you up."

The first time you did his makeup, he kept complaining that you weren't doing it right. "If you were on my crew. I'd chop your hands off for this!" He shouts after you show him the makeup you did. It wasn't a bad job. Buggy didn't even look at it before shouting. He just hated that someone else did it for him. "While then, I'll wash it all off, and you'll be makeup-less." He's eyes widen. "It's marvelous darling~," Buggy replies dramatically.

Over time, he found himself craving your attention and affection to the point of obsession.

To you, none of these things were meant to be seen as anything more than looking out for someone else.

The whole crew saw the shift in Buggy's behavior towards you. He was becoming a lot more forward with his flirting, and on the rare occasion, he showed kindness, it was always for you.

Buggy loves it when you wash his hair and give him a gentle scalp massage or carefully brush out his long water hair.

"Mhmm..." Buggy melts as you massage his soapy scalp. You smile, happy that he's not fighting the washes anymore. "You know~" He starts, making you roll your eyes. "What?" You asked, combing the shampoo through his hair. "This bath would be so much more relaxing if you joined me~" You stop brushing. "Bitch your in a sink..." Buggy stops and looks down for a second. "Doesn't mean you can't get naked with me~" You sigh, filling up a cup of water to risen him. "For the last time taking off your bandana doesn't count as me undressing you."

When the crew has to make a pit stop and your not the one holding him he'll do nothing but bitch about it.

"Put me down! Where's y/n?!" Sanji shoves Buggy into a bag. "Shut up!" He shouts at Buggy, who doesn't listen. "Never!" After about an hour of muffled complaining, he stopped. Main from being out of breath. That was until he heard you talking. "Y/n? Is that you, baby? Come on, sweets, let me out!" He begged from the bag.

The crew has used this against Buggy. Bad decisions or pissing off the crew? It's time to be babysat by someone else for a while.

He's also constantly trying to convince you that you don't need the straw hats. If you could just take him to his body, then he'll be all the pirate you need.

"I've got a whole crew waiting for us back at my circus, and all the treasure in the world to keep you happy. I could even make you a star. People will come from all over the world to see you~" He tells you in his sweet voice, batting his eyes at you. "No." Buggy blinks a few times. "WHY NOT?! What do these pathetic straw hats have that I don't!"

Buggy also made a bad habit of telling about all his sexual fantasies with you or how he could "provide" for you even just has a head.

"Sanji!" You shout, carrying Buggy to the kitchen. "Yes, dear?" Sanji asked, looking up from the meal he was preparing. "I need a knife." Sanji eyes shift to see a rag shoved in Buggy's mouth. "What happened to your little friend?" He smiled at the displeased look on Buggy's face. "He won't stop with sexual comments, so I'm gonna cut out his tongue and lock it in a jar." Before Sanji could reply, zoro joined into the conversation. "I'll do it. Give him here." Buggy starts to squirm when hand him over. "Thank you." You exit quickly as Zoro takes the cloth out. "Unhand me!" He shouts at Zoro, who already has a pocket knife out. "Y/n! My love, come back!"

When Buggy finally gets his body back, he kidnaps you while the rest of the crew is busy fighting Arlong and his Fishman.

You were in the middle of fighting a Fishman when a red ball was tossed in towards the both of you. Without time to react, it explodes with red smoke, knocking you, and you're opponent out. Upon waking up, you find yourself on a pirate ship in a bed. "Hi~" Buggy's inches from your face. "Shit!" You jump back, making Buggy chuckle. "Welcome to my ship, sweetheart~"

Buggy takes you back to his circus and rebuilds his crew. You're forced to be his romantic partner, but considering he doesn't know how to be a boyfriend, he ends up treating you like a pet or copies what you did to him.

He also makes you continue the treatment you gave him when he was just ahead.

When he takes a bath, you always have to wash his hair. Buggy won't force you to bathe with him, but he will yank you into the bathtub while you're still clothed just to mess with you. However, when you bathe, he begs to wash your hair.

Sweet Abduction

Thank you anon for this super cute request! I loved the idea, and I hope you enjoy the fic!

Pairings: Charlotte Katakuri x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4084

Ao3 Link

Summary: Times are tough, and you're afraid you'll have to give up the family business, until you find people who cherish your work. Who knew making doughnuts would gain you the attention of an Emperor of the Sea, and her second son? Will your new life be as sweet as it seemed?

Rating/Warnings: SFW, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Fluff, Grief, (reader's dad has passed and she thinks about him a lot), Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, Kidnapping, Minor Violence (hardly anything, just being grabbed by the arms briefly), Kissing, No Smut, Human/Monster Romance, He's freaking 16 ft tall, Reader is too sweet for this world

A/N: Turns out Katakuri is over 16 ft tall. I stuck with canon, hope you don't mind! Please heed the tags! This is very sweet romance type fluff, but there is some kidnapping and shit, so be wary 😅

Your body naturally woke you in the quiet, early morning light, but you still felt like you were in a bad dream.

After all your years of struggling to get by, of trying to make a living off the only skills you had, you still had nothing. You had kept your dad’s shop running, learning all you could, trying to honor his memory. But now that he’s gone, prepping these early mornings alone felt like losing him all over again.

Especially since hardly anyone in this town could afford to waste their berries on sweets.

Even buying ingredients for one day's batch was brutal.

I’m sorry, dad. I don’t want to sell your shop. Please, I wish you were here to tell me what to do.

You blinked back your tears as you started frying the morning's first batch of doughnuts.

Falling into your rhythm, you glazed and displayed each doughnut with care. Still taking pride in your work, you treated each pastry with love, even though they would probably be wasted. 

You gave a little yelp as the tiny bell on the shop’s door chimed.

Your mouth hung wide as you looked at the two potential customers. Shaking yourself, you greeted them, turning on your customer service charm.

‘The best way to keep a customer is to show them you really care.’

Your dad’s sweet voice filled your mind, and you smiled, genuinely hoping that these people would have a wonderful day. And that if they tried your doughnuts, it might make their day even brighter. 

The two strangers made their way to the display case, reviewing the little menu above the counter, and they asked you detailed questions that surprised you. 

You had been too busy trying to make sense of the colorful, almost outrageous way they dressed, that it took you a second to realize how excited they seemed to be here. 

They can’t be from around here. Everyone here is too poor to be that colorful.

You pinched your wrist at the sour thought, reminding yourself of your dad’s view of the world. He’d tell you to focus on the good things happening right now.

The two customers ordered four doughnuts each, and you carried their plates to the dingy little table in the corner, filling their cups with coffee.

The urge to stare was almost too powerful. It had been so long since someone new came to enjoy your work. 

They smacked their lips, and licked their fingers, and their bright eyes warmed your heart. 

‘There’s nothing better than watching someone enjoy the work you put your heart into.’ 

You cleared your throat, turning away from them as you wiped away a tear at your dad’s words in your mind.

“Ooh, Mama’s gonna enjoy this,” the taller one hissed in a mock whisper.

“Excuse me,” the other patron called, waving you over. 

You wiped flour off your hands, grabbing the pot of coffee. You felt their eyes on you, feeling examined as you refilled their cups.

“Is there anythi–”

“How would you like a sponsorship to open a shop in the sweetest capital of the world?”

“... I’m sorry. What did you–”

The tall one grabbed your wrist, eyes almost manic as he leaned toward you.

“We’re scouts, you see. We’re from Totto Land, and we’ve been looking for someone with your talents. Everything will be taken care of. We already have a doughnut shop that's just waiting for an artist like you.”

Your eyes were so wide it was almost painful, and part of you told you to run from these strangers. 

‘Don’t fight miracles, sweetheart. Sometimes good people really do get good things.’

“Okay,” you stuttered, following your dad’s advice one more time. 

~ 

You had heard the name Big Mom before, seen her wanted poster. She didn’t seem like a real person when you were struggling in your run down town. 

And you thought that Emperors of the Sea were meant to be terrifying, almost demonic. 

But here you were on her archipelago, her myriad of islands filled with so many happy people. So many people who love what you do.

It's surreal! 

You’d been given a doughnut shop on Komugi Island, along with a beautiful apartment above the shop. You wanted to explore and meet people, but you couldn’t think of closing the shop for even a day. 

All the ingredients you could dream of, equipment that you’d never seen before, and a dining area inside and outside with plenty of tables so you could enjoy the happy noises people made when they ate your doughnuts and pastries. 

It was heaven. It felt like your dad was there with you, kneading the dough, pouring the coffee. You could almost hear his laugh, his silly songs that he used to hum.

It felt like home.

After a few days, you noticed that the shop cleared out a little before lunchtime. You had been having a steady stream of customers all day since the day you opened, but now it was empty. You tried to remind yourself that things wouldn’t always be that busy, and that it didn’t mean anything.

I guess I’m just worried, dad. I want to do well here. I want to stay.

You had a pile of plates in one hand as you wiped down a table outside.

“Good afternoon,” boomed a deep voice from above, and your ankle shifted against the stone tiles.

You were slipping, trying and failing to keep a grip on the porcelain plates.

Then a huge, warm hand held you steady, and your mouth gaped at the sight of another gloved hand catching the plates before they fell.

“I’m so sorry,” you choked out, heart racing.

Shifting away to look at your new patron, you steadied yourself, pressing your palm against the warmth beside you.

Your breath hitched as your hand touched firm leather. You stumbled back a step, and he grabbed your shoulder to steady you, before setting the dishes on the table, and towering over you.

“I apologize. I should have waited until you set down the plates.”

The deep, measured voice made you shiver as you looked up at the man it belonged to. 

He was so tall. Insanely tall.

Is he a giant?

He sat down beside the shop on what you just now realized was a bench, made for someone his size.

Realizing how rude you were being, you cleared your throat, giving him a smile.

“No need to apologize. Thank you so much for saving my plates!”

You dipped your head, letting your eyes go wide as you looked at the ground after getting a better look at him. 

He had deep crimson hair, with eyes to match. Those intense eyes were framed with arched brows, and eyelashes so dark and thick that you could see them from where you were.

You brought your head back up to meet those eyes, and you bobbed on your toes as you tried not to gape at the rest of him. 

You’d never seen anyone like him before. He wore a layered scarf that draped around his shoulders, covering his neck, and the lower half of his face. 

Below the scarf was an expanse of muscle, pink tattoos accentuating his chiseled abs. His leather vest covered nothing, but it matched the leather across the rest of his body, belts, straps, and spikes giving you so much to look at.

Then you looked back at his eyes, and realized you’d been staring.

“I–I am so sorry. I’m new here, and my head is a little off still. Would you like me to bring you a menu?”

He hardly spoke while he was there, but his gaze felt heavy and warm. Thankfully, no one else came by to witness you making a fool out of yourself. 

He made a huge order, and you packed three large boxes to the brim.

Your dad would have been so happy in that moment. You could picture his smile. Practically hear his voice.

‘Look, sweetheart. Your love is gonna touch all those people that eat your sweets. Isn’t that just lovely?’

“Are you afraid?”

“What,” you choked out, quickly brushing a tear from your eye as you thought of your father.

He’d taken the boxes from you after paying, but now his brows were furrowed as he looked down at you.

“Oh my– oh no! I’m sorry,” you panicked, realizing what he meant.

“I wasn’t crying because of– I was just thinking about my dad. He would have been really happy with your order. You picked all his favorites!”

He stiffened, one of his gloved hands flexing on his knee.

Clearing his throat, he stood, his height leaving you speechless again. 

“Thank you, miss. Have a pleasant day.”

“... Th-Thank you! Please, come again soon!”

You were waving at his back, and he froze for a moment at your words. But he kept walking, finally leaving your sight. 

Slumping into one of the chairs, you felt the blood rushing through your body, your head feeling fuzzy after all of that. 

Then a line of customers started trickling back in, and you poured yourself into work. 

What an interesting place this is. 

~

He came back again. And again. And you always forgot to ask for his name. 

He never said much. He always ordered at least three boxes. And you always spaced out as you stared at him at least once before he left. 

Luckily he always seemed to come during a slow hour, catching you cleaning with no other customers to attend to.

You wanted to ask if he liked them. If he liked your dad’s favorite recipes. It seemed like a silly question, since he ordered so many every time.

But you liked his voice, and you thought it would sound really nice if he said it. 

You caught yourself grinning in the mirror at the thought as you got ready for the day.

I think I like it here.

“Good morning, miss Y/N!”

You had just stepped downstairs, morning light still not quite touching the world, but your shop was full of people.

“I… I’m sorry. The shop’s not open yet. But I’m happy to share my pot of coffee with you if you’re willing to wait on the doughnuts!”

You felt extra grateful that you’d dressed for the day before coming downstairs.

“Thank you dear, but you’ll be coming with us.”

A tall, thin woman moved toward you, a rough scar bisecting her face, and you clenched your fist to stop yourself from recoiling. It was too damn early for someone who looked like a gnarled old witch to break in and threaten you.

Is she threatening me?

“Sorry, uh,” you said awkwardly as you moved behind the counter. “I’ve got a lot of doughnuts to get started for the day.”

“Not today, sweetie,” the witch-like woman said, her reddish nose bobbing as she shook her head.

“I don’t– Did I do something wrong?”

You shrank back against the wall as guards moved against you, gripping your arms.

“Not at all,” the woman nearly shrieked, failing to sound comforting. “In fact, you are being granted the highest of honors. You are about to become part of Big Mom’s family!”

You had been squirming only slightly, not really fighting against the men holding and moving you. But now you slumped, confusion hurting your brain too much to keep steady.

“What do you mean? What’s happening,” you asked, panic building in your throat the closer they got you to the door. 

“You have been chosen to wed the shining star of the Charlotte family. Our strongest warrior, a man whose back has never touched the ground. My perfect big brother, Charlotte Katakuri!”

Your mouth hung open as she continued, her voice manic, louder with each word. She may as well have been speaking another language. 

She pointed a long, twig-like arm at you, and you tried to clear your head to understand.

“You can call me Brulee, sister in law. Tomorrow you will become Charlotte Y/N.” 

You stood, frozen and dizzy.

“Come now, lots to do, sister,” she tutted, snapping her fingers.

“But why? Why me?”

She reared on you, her red nose inches from yours.

“You’re special, of course. You were chosen. And you’d better learn not to question Mama.”

“Please,” you pleaded, twisting against the guard's hold. “I don’t–”

“Don’t question mama! And don’t even think about refusing her.”

The guards tightened their grip, leading you toward the door.

“Wait!”

“Don’t res—”

“Please change the sign! Please let my customers know I’ll be gone, I don’t want them to wait out there for me.”

Brulee frowned at you, but had one of the guards write a note, hanging it on the door.

“Thank you,” you sighed with relief, giving her a grateful smile.

She frowned again.

You didn’t resist, and the guards let you walk freely. You felt the stares of citizens on you, and watched a group of onlookers waving as the ship departed for the main island. 

Whole Cake Island. 

It was incredible. The sounds, the colors, the smells! Excited locals rushing around, as if preparing for something big. 

Like a wedding.

Brulee spent the travel time regaling you with stories of her brother. 

The second son of the Big Mom Pirates. One of the Three Sweet Commanders. The Minister of Flour who governs over your new home, Komugi Island.

“When he was born he stood straight up, and slept on a chair. His back has never touched the ground. He’s never laid down, and never been knocked down either.”

“That sounds tiring,” you muttered under your breath, but she turned, grasping your wrist.

“Not to my brother. He’s more than strong. He’s superhuman. He’s noble, and cool-headed. And you are going to be the perfect wife for my perfect brother. Got it?”

“I-I got it.”

She released your arm, and you tried to fight your nerves, but you couldn’t stop shaking. 

You were led through a massive castle that looked like, or was it a cake? The ceilings were so massive, you had to crane your neck to see them.

Brulee left the guards outside, leading you into a gorgeous bedroom, with an extravagant bathroom, and at least ten servants carrying all sorts of fabrics, powders, shoes, and more. 

You felt like you were in a whirlwind, just staying still and letting these strangers touch you, pamper you, fit the white dress to your body.

Now and then you’d pay attention to what they were saying between their giggles and demands. 

“She’s so lucky.” 

“I wish I could join the family.”

“I wonder if his children will be as perfect as he is?”

Finally, you were freed from their hands. Dinner was brought to your guarded room, and you watched the night fall.

You curled up in the luxurious bed, and sobbed silently. You caught yourself whispering under the blankets, eyes burning as you tried to make sense of it all.

“Dad, I’m sorry. I’m trying to see the good here. But I’m scared. I love this place. I love making people smile. But what if this man… What if my husband is a bad person? What if he’s mean? What if he doesn’t like me?”

Visions of terror filled your mind. If they could kidnap you for this, could they really be good people? This land seems so happy and prosperous, could this marriage be a good thing?

“Is this a miracle, dad? Should I let it happen, and hope for the best?” 

“Will they kill me if I try to run?” 

“I’m scared, dad. I wish you were here.”

Finally, your quiet sobs fell into slow breaths as sleep pulled you under.

Morning arrived, and the servants were buzzing with excitement as they prepared you for the wedding. You felt empty, hollow. They kept pinching your cheeks lightly, trying to wake you up, to convince you to be happy.

All you could manage was a weak smile as you looked at your reflection.

“You look beautiful, sister,” Brulee praised, patting your hand. “It’s almost time.”

She led you to a massive stone room, guiding you to a small bench before leaning over you. 

“Just wait here. It won't be long.”

She left, and you didn't turn to watch her go. You thought about running. There were no guards in this chamber. 

You bit your lip to keep from crying, afraid of what might happen to you if you ruined your makeup.

“Y/N…”

A choked gasp left your throat as you turned, looking for the owner of that deep voice.

Your favorite customer was there, his height looking almost normal in this massive room. He sat along the wall on a giant bench, leaning toward you.

“Oh, hello,” you practically squeaked, throat caught with unshed tears. “What are you doing here? I’m sorry I couldn’t make your order today!”

“Please,” he stopped you, holding out his gloved hands. You blinked at him, noticing that his normally black attire was white, somehow making his hair and tattoos stand out even more.

“What are you…”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have let this happen.” 

“Let what happen,” you asked, your mind moving so fast it felt like it was tripping over itself. You stood without meaning to, walking closer.

“You were brought to my island as a gift. For me.”

His dark eyes poured over you as you stood, silently waiting.

“I shouldn’t have told mama that I liked you. I tried to convince her to stop, but there’s no way to stop this without violence now. And I cannot hurt my family.”

Violence? 

Your heart beat in your chest like a bird, wings flapping desperately to escape a cage. 

“Mama is a decisive woman. When she makes her mind up on something, it will happen. I am usually the one to make it happen. Most of my siblings have their marriages arranged. I didn't…”

Regret tinged his voice, and you met his eyes.

“Why me?”

He looked away, sighing as he leaned back against the wall.

“My siblings brought you to my island because they thought I would enjoy your doughnuts. I happened to mention how much I’ve enjoyed your work, and your… company. So Mama has decided that you’ll be joining the family. That you and I will marry. In less than an hour.”

You’d never heard him say so many words at once, and his voice rolled over you while you tried to comprehend everything. Your mouth hung open as you stared at him.

“You must be frightened.”

He shifted on the bench, looking almost uncomfortable before he caught himself. He adjusted the movement, making it look deliberate. But you noticed.

He’s just a person.

“I think having a first date might have been nice,” you teased with a small smile. 

He stared down at you for a long moment, before his brows furrowed.

“You shouldn’t have to marry a monster.” 

“What do you mean,” you questioned, starting to feel lightheaded from everything.

“When we kiss, it will be over…”

“We’ll be married?” 

“No.”

You hadn’t thought his eyes could get any more intense, but they sure did. You stood, still as a statue, waiting for him to explain. 

“There’s something I have to show you.” 

Katakuri unraveled his scarf, slowly revealing the lower half of his face.

Your eyes went wide at the sight of his large mouth, scars stretching from ear to ear. Sharp teeth or fangs jutted out at the edges of his lips. 

Your first thought was that he did look like a monster.

‘You can’t tell somebody’s heart from the outside, sweetheart. Always give people a chance.’

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, after you stood there too long, thinking of your dad’s voice.

You watched those huge hands start to drape the scarf, looking away from you as he covered his scars.

“Wait,” you commanded, voice almost too loud in the echoing room. You reached up to put your hand on his knee, shoving aside a brief thought about how things would work with his height.

“Will you be kind to me?” 

He paused his movements, face still uncovered. Your whole body rolled with warm shivers as he laid his hand on yours.

“I will be kind to you. And I will protect you.” 

“And you’ll tell me how much you like my doughnuts?”

An almost surprised huff left him, and you were pleasantly shocked to see his wide lips twitch up, a hint of a smile there. 

“I love your doughnuts. They make me very happy.” 

Your toes curled in your shoes as you grinned up at him

“Okay,” you nodded, dread shifting to excitement. “I guess we’re getting married then? Please, promise to be kind.” 

“I promise,” he agreed, head tilted as he looked at you, before wrapping his scarf back around. 

You were practically bouncing on your feet now, and your words came out high and fast.

“So, your name is Katakuri?”

“Yes.”

“Is it true you never lie on your back?”

“We’ll learn a lot of interesting things about each other later,” he promised, voice low as he patted you on the head.

“Right now we have somewhere to be.”

There were so many people. So much food, so many sweets. 

Big Mom was enormous, even taller than Katakuri. All of her children looked so different, so interesting. 

Everyone seemed happy.

I’ll choose to be happy too, dad. I just wish you were here with me.

The ceremony and vows flew by, and luckily you remembered what to say. Then the end arrived, and you realized that you didn’t know what to do.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may start your marriage with a kiss!”

How am I supposed to kiss him?

Your question was answered as his large hand scooped down beside you. Looking into his face, you could have sworn he was smiling by the slight crinkling of his eyes.

A giggle left your lips as you nodded, and you gasped as he grabbed you gently around the waist, lifting you up.

You heard the cheers of his family as he turned away from the crowd, keeping his face from their sight.

“I am sorry, Y/N.”

His whisper made your heart ache for this strange man. He seemed so lonely, even with all of his family looking up to him. 

Maybe neither of us have to be lonely anymore.

You touched a hand to his cheekbone, and he seemed to freeze.

“Don’t be sorry, Katakuri. Let’s just be good to each other.”

You felt a hum move through him before he carefully pulled his scarf down, just enough, just for you.

He’s so big!

That thought hit you again, but you’d already decided. You’re already his. You leaned forward, and kissed him between the sharp fangs at the edges of his mouth.

His lips were warm, and soft, and sweet.

You let out a hum of contentment, wiggling slightly in his grasp. He pulled back, covering his face, then he stared at you. 

“Hi,” you said softly, feeling your skin flush as you felt suddenly shy.

“Oh mama, mama,” Big Mom laughed, making him turn to face the party.

“My family is getting bigger and bigger! What a wonderful day. Let’s start with the cake!”

~

Katakuri didn’t join in on the fun, sitting on the edge as if keeping watch over his own wedding. Everytime you tried to talk to him, new in-laws would drag you away, light conversations and laughter hogging the day. 

Finally, you were ushered away, waving back at the crowd as your husband joined you. 

Instead of a carriage, you were carried away from your wedding on Katakuri’s shoulder, adjusting the scarf so that it would stay in place. 

A procession of onlookers applauded, calling his name. You even heard your own name once or twice. It felt like the entire island was cheering for you, and you were caught in the chaos of a world you never could have imagined. 

Your mind started racing as the wedding was over, the real world starting to return. A million questions tore through you, and you didn’t know where to start, until one came tumbling out.

“How are we going to sleep if you never lay on your back?”

He let out a sound that could have been a laugh as he kept moving toward your new home. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll show you.”

Likes and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!

a/n: Once again, I'm so happy to take requests! I probably wouldn't have thought to write for this big guy, but now I love this lil doughnut man. He's so sweet 😭😭 (Let me know if I should write the honeymoon... 😳)

Tag List: @shewrites02

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some thoughts were thought

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Words: 4.8K Author’s Note: Stranger Things AU - Lets just pretend that Steve and Carol are still in school, only Steve is the Steve we all know and love, and Carol is still a harpy.

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