Original Post: Https://www.tumblr.com/un-monstre/731346185908092928/disability-will-have-you-thinking-shit-like-im

✩ 𝐱𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫!𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 ✩

hi, i'm valerian; yes, i'm yet another queer theorist on tumblr - original, i'm aware /lh

generally, i try to remain on topics primarily focusing on queer culture history, and identity; however, i tend to share whatever piques my (special) interests

like, i'm gonna be so fr and say that my posts basically go wherever the autism takes me lol

i don't really care who reads/reblogs my posts and, sure, if you want to dm me, then go ahead (please refrain from messaging me if you're under 18, thanks), but i can't guarantee i'll reply. likewise, asks are fine but i can't promise a timely reply.

also if you're into art, feel free to look at my portfolio ^-^

this will likely be continuously revised as i feel the desire to btw

Thanks for reading my ask! A fun fact in case you're not already aware, the company that made LADs also made another otome game called Mr. Love Queen's Choice which also is within the world where Evol exists and even got an anime. They did the Nikki series as well (Infinity, Love, Shining, etc) so this company really has a handle on appealing to women in general. Just wish they weren't so greedy with their gacha.

You're welcome! It was a great read - I really appreciated the additional context you gave about Otome games in general!

And omg, I might have to check those out lol (I say, as an unashamed LADS player xD)

Also, STRONG agree, like the gacha stuff is honestly a bit of a letdown (though tbf, I'm also incredibly unfamiliar with gacha games so I'm *slightly* immune due to not fully understanding the mechanic lol)

To the moon and back

you’ve been my girlfriend in my head since

٠࣪⭑ The first time we kissed ٠࣪⭑

Pairing : Xavier x fem!reader

cw : nsfw, smut , friends with benefits to lovers , slightly coworkers to lovers if you squint, fluffy , they’re madly in love with each other.

Xavier’s hands grip your hips , as he pistols into you from behind.

Your hands gripping the sofa for dear life trying to cling onto any consciousness you have left.

Rough hard thrusts mixed with sensual rolls of his hips, passionate intentionful movements.

That’s what you loved most about sex with Xavier that every movement felt intentional like he was always trying to convey something to you.

“your almost there star, doing so good for me, pussys clenching so hard trying to milk my cock huh you is that what you want my star girl”

“ please Xavier , cum inside me need all of you”

He nips at your ear letting out the most desperate moan you’ve ever heard. Sending you both over the edge

Your walls contract, pulsating and milking everything out he has to offer.

Xavier pulls out slowly , a string of his seed following catching his attention.

Running his fingers between your folds his cum slowly seeping out already , he pushes it back in you, leaving his two fingers in for a moment longer almost plugging you to make sure there was no other option but for you to be bred.

“pushing that come back in so hard you’d think you want third partner with us on our missions”

You chuckle, moaning when he wiggles his fingers inside you a bit.

“It wouldn’t be awful having another one of you to watch over during our missions” Xavier flops down on the bed leaning over and kissing your forehead in the process.

Sex with Xavier wasn’t one of those world wind stories you had always seen in the movies.

You two had been assigned partners on missions , clicking immediately your sassy nature and Xavier’s calm and collected demeanor. It had just been colleagues getting along at one point.

But then you started to notice overtime Xavier was everywhere, he wasn’t close with anyone else at work and he’d taken a liking into following you around. As soon as you’d walk in putting your bag on your desk, Xavier would have two coffees in hand one for you and one for him.

“ how’s your hand” Xavier examines the cut from afar

“eh, been better, that wander was real asshole hm” you giggle.

Xavier nods firmly a glint in his eyes that he agrees.

“ I have some cream I can drop off if you’d like”

You agree, mostly because you always see the serious side of Xavier it would be nice to see what this guy is really like outside of work.

a knock on your door comes at around 9 o’clock

You open the door, Xavier bag in hand with a cozy white oversized hoodie on appears.

“ sorry for dropping it off a little late , I overslept” he says apologetically sleepiness still in his eyes as he rubs them.

“ you’re completely fine Xavier you didn’t even have to do this in the first place, but isn’t it a little late I mean you still have to get back to your apartment .. you really didn’t have to come all the way over here”

“ I live next door” he smiles as if he’s dropping the most casual news.

“ WHAT”

And that’s when the lines started to blur, movie nights at your home, cooking lessons at his normal friendly activity, until one cooking lesson ended with you on the counter and him in between your legs. But it wasn’t like sex had taken over whatever relationship you two had going on. Xavier still came over to do mundane things like watch movies and etc, but you’d noticed him taking on more of a responsibility with you . If your trash was outside your apartment to be picked up. He’d take it down on the way with his. Or cleaning up around the house. But you’d just taken it as you two naturally getting more comfortable with each other.

“ alright princess , up up” Xavier had suddenly gotten off you lifting you bridal style heading towards the bathroom.

Sitting you on the toilet so you could go pee.

You look at him as he turns away face towards the corner.

The same man that had just blown your back out on the couch, was turned away to give you privacy as you peed ?

You giggle to yourself a bit he truly was the sweetest.

“ all done ?” He asks back still turned away.

“ yep” you reply

He then passes you by to turn on the water of the bath tub, after a couple seconds checking to make sure the temperature is right he gets in signaling for you to sit between his legs.

Between his legs you slightly turn your head up at him.

“ you know, you really don’t have to do this I know how hard being a hunter can be. we work the same job, I mean isn’t sex supposed to take the pressure and responsibility off a little, you don’t need to take care of me” you squeeze his hand

For a moment you see the wheels turning in his head trying to process everything you had said

He quietly replies

“ precious things need to be taken care of” squeezing your hand back.

Your heart flutters a little at his response was it bad to feel like maybe just maybe this could be more than friends.

Work had been extremely exhausting for you lately not just on your body but on your mind as well

You’d decided to take a day off just a mental health day feeling like you really needed it.

You planned to lay in the bed all day wrapped in blankets and a box of cookies watching your favorite dramas.

At around 8 am you hear your door unlocking, “that’s odd” you think to yourself. the only person who has the key is Xavier who should already be at work.

To lazy to get up and check you stay in bed it’s either Xavier or a serial killer and at this point if it’s a serial killer you’re just gonna accept your fate. From the bed you see Xavier peeking in at the door frame.

He’d brought your favorite cookies and an arcade plush the special addition pink alien you’d been wanting, which you knew had to have taken him ages since the claw machine wasn’t his forte.

He puts the bag next to your bed as he climbs under the sheets wrapping himself around you.

“so this is what happens when you have sex with the sleepy guy you go on missions with, you pick up his habits” he says jokingly

You giggle and then those giggles swiftly turn into soft sobs, sobs of exhaustion.

“ I know Angel , I know” Xavier says kissing the crown of your head.

“I want you to hold me like this forever” you whisper sleepy eyes in and out of consciousness finally closing shut.

Xavier’s eyes soften “you are my forever”

Your eyes flutter open, shifting in bed to wrap yourself tighter around Xavier.

Except, he isn’t there

You sit up slightly looking around, he’s in the living room cleaning up around your apartment

He spots you , quickly putting down the broom he walks quickly over to your room.

“do you need anything princess?”

His domestic nature making your pussy throb you reply.

“ just you”

“ anything for you princess” climbing onto the bed pulling you closer to him.

He works his way down your neck sucking and biting.

“ Xavier” you whimper his name foot teasing the draw string of the sweatpants he’s wearing trying to tug them down.

He groans into your ear , suddenly tugging the sweatpants off, sitting back on his hunches dick glossy with precum

“ you see what you do to me princess” he says pumping his cock

You pull off your sweat shorts you had been wearing to reveal your folds , hand in between them showing him how wet he had made you.

“ just from watching you clean the apartment” you utter small whimpers between your words.

“ my dirty girl” Xavier moves closer to you

You wrap your legs around him locking him into place

“ need you inside me Xavier, need your cock”

His hands gripping your hips he pushes inside your wet cunt.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever get sick of that initial entrance of his cock , your gummy walls contracting on his cock with how much your pussy wants to milk him but all at the same time your pussy is so tight it doesn’t want to let him in.

“ ohh— Xavier , oh my— holy shit” your head rolls back.

He’s in and out of your pussy at a rhythm that’s unrecognizable.

It doesn’t take long for you to feel your insides unraveling with every thrust.

Your orgasm so close you can taste it on the tip of your tongue.

Oh— right there , I’m so close you moan

“gotta fill you up princess, show me how much you love it , show me how much you love this cock”

“ Fuck— Xavier .. I love you”

That’s all it takes for him, unexpectedly you feel his hips shutter

his body tenses up , his eyes go wide , a choked moan leaving his lips

He had came at you saying you loved him..

Spurt after spurt of warm seed fill your pussy, so much that you would’ve thought this man hadn’t cum in months even though you know for a fact he had.

Hips bucking naturally like aftershocks of what you had just done.

Your realization of what is happening is what takes you over the edge , pussy contracting on his cock that’s still actively spurting come. As you squirt all over his lower belly.

Xavier flops down on the bed next to you.

The room is filled with heavy breathing from the both of you.

Xavier reaches down caressing your hand although he’s trying gather himself as well his instincts always comes back to taking care of you

You both just lay like that for a while.

Until you look over at him thoughts of your relationship fill your head as well as what just happened.

“ Xavier , do you love me”

He turns his head to face yours

“ to the moon and back”

You squeeze his hand

“ are you in love with me” you quip

“madly”

You look at him through your eyelashes

“do you ever find it weird we have sex , you clean my apartment , you stay at my home more than at yours , you take my trash out , you know me more than I know myself but we arent dating”

“maybe to others , but you’ve been my girlfriend in my head since the first time we kissed”

Your eyes tear up

You smack his chest, as his eyes change looking like a worried puppy dog

You sniffle “ why didn’t you tell me that I was falling in love with you this whole time and I thought you thought we were friends with benefits.” you whine kicking your feet

He giggles rubbing your hand

“I wanted you to realize on your own, because even if you didn’t feel the same way I would rather live my life in a never ending circle of friends with benefits with you, than not have you in my life at all.”

“ should I ask you formally” he gleams

You nod excitedly

“ y/n will you be my girlfriend”

Epilogue

You and Xavier walk hand and hand into the arcade

Most likely scaring every child in there with your fierce aura.

Pointing at the newest addition of the alien now coming in blue color with embroidered flowers on him.

“ we’re not leaving here without him” you look at Xavier

You and Xavier now sit on the bench waiting for the bus you excitedly clutching the blue alien arm hooked to Xavier.

You’d been giving him smooches constantly after winning you the little blue alien, which took him 7 hours and countless tries.

“ your welcome baby” he kisses you back tiredly

“ but I do have something to say”

You turn your head smiling ready to listen

“how could you ever think we were friends with benefits, I mean I’ve never heard of a fuck buddy spending hours to get a pink alien from an arcade”

“the same way you came inside me countless times before we ever hit girlfriend boyfriend status” you retort quickly

“ fair point” he says kissing your cheek as you two walk hand and hand onto the bus.

The Onion pulling zero fucking punches.

i just think it's bullshit that alternative meats, milks, eggs, breads, and other foods are prohibitively expensive. like i don't know how to tell people that not everyone who eats vegan or vegetarian is choosing to eat that way because of their moral beliefs- a lot of people are eating these foods because they have food allergies or intolerances, or have other gastrointestinal issues

i don't have a choice. it's downright cruel to make these different options more expensive. there is no one size fits all diet- every single person needs a unique diet and some folks literally have no choice but to utilize these substitutes. some vegetarians cant digest soy. some vegetarians can't eat beans. i also don't know how to tell you that not every vegetarian or vegan can ingest raw vegetables and fruits, or even cooked ones, for that matter

there are a LOT of health conditions like irritable bowel syndrome, gastroparesis, crohns disease, and other gastrointestinal issues that can cause a person to become very sick or even die if they ingest too much raw plant matter, especially vegetables high in fiber. when these fibers cannot be broken down by a person's digestive system, they can form blockages in the intestines and kill people. not every person on this planet benefits from eating a lot of leafy greans. some people are allergic to chlorophyll. some people are allergic to citric acid. diabetic people have to be careful with certain vegetables and fruits causing spikes or dips in blood sugar, and many people with diabetes end up with gastroparesis, or similar gut issues. there are a lot of reasons why people can't just switch to a diet of salads and fruit smoothies every day.

alternative foods need to be available to everyone, regardless of how much income they make. having safer alternative foods should not be relegated to the rich. these are not just being consumed by spiritual white moms on instagram. these foods need to be accessed by disabled people all over the world.

Please, for the love of god, leave me CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS!!! If you think it’s implied, I promise you that to me it is not. If you give me poorly worded or vague directions I’m gonna spend half an hour stressing over the potential different ways to interpret them and either become paralyzed with indecision or inevitably interpret them the least correct way possible

Mascs and butches and studs who like being called pretty boy.

Reblog if you agree.

The rise in the popularity of Love and Deepspace (which, for brevity, I’ll be abbreviating to LADS) is incredibly interesting to me, particularly when we analyse it in conjunction with broad social trends within dating and relationships. I think that the uptick in AI Companionship and how women engage with it reflects a deeper set of issues pervading relationships and intimacy with women who experience attraction to men. Moreover, I think that this does speak to a generalised divestment - or, at the very least, re-examining - from previous views and approaches to heterosexual relationships. Personally, I believe that this is developing as a reaction to the broader uptick in misogyny.

While LADS is often dismissed as simply a ‘Gooner Game’ - that is, essentially, pornography for women - I think that such a dismissal is both inaccurate in terms of the game’s content as well as the motives and draw experience by its playerbase. It’s not entirely incorrect to point out that, yes, there is a degree of suggestive content in the game, particularly in the dating/relationship sides of the game, but LADS is much deeper than that. The game presents a self-directed approach to players: players interested in the story and universe of LADS can focus on that, whereas those players who wish to prioritise the ‘dating simulator’ aspects of the game are free to do so - while the dating aspect is, admittedly, much of the draw, presenting it as solely a dating game is, really, quite inaccurate.

Moreover, I think the way such a criticism is levelled is far more telling about the critics than the players; fundamentally, it suggests a refusal to engage with the game by simply writing it off as nothing more than just simple fluff met to titillate touch-starved players. Plus, the fact that this criticism has been, broadly, made by men is rather revealing. Firstly, it’s quite telling that a game that heavily targets, and is played primarily by, women receives these critiques, whereas arguably far more ‘explicit’ games that target men do not - or at least not from these same critics. Secondly, I think it’s rather telling that a game where the Love Interests are primarily approaching the player/main character through a lens of respectful attraction receives such heavy criticism from men.

But what truly fascinates me is the draw of LADS; as previously mentioned, I think that LADS represents a sort of ‘Heterosexual Idealism’ - that is, the idea of a heterosexual relationship where the man genuinely loves, respects, and cares for his girlfriend. And I think this speaks to a broader trend in society; we see more and more women turning to these types of ‘escapist’ content - such as LADS, CharacterAI, Dark Romance, and similar content - that, arguably, fulfills this Heterosexual idealism in response to the resurgence of misogyny in society, particularly in terms of dating.

To put it bluntly, as more and more men demonstrate themselves to be incapable of being a proper partner - often reacting with blatant misogyny when called out for such failings - I think we’ve seen a growing divestment from women. Relationships with men can be perilious, toxic, traumatising, and, unfortunately, too-often abusive. Naturally, it’s understandable that many women would choose to simply refocus their time and decentre men from their lives.

And this is where LADS comes in. LADS, and AI Boyfriends broadly, offers a sense of fulfillment for this desire for emotional intimacy with men while often avoiding the pitfalls that come with it. Women don’t have to worry about Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus, nor Caleb abusing them, manipulating them, cheating on them, or anything else - they represent a simultaneously wish fulfillment of Heterosexual Idealism while also highlighting how, truly, low the bar is. Really, do the LADS boys truly represent an unattainable ideal, or do they simply represent the idea of a man who consistently goes above the bare minimum? It wouldn’t be impossible for a man to be what LADS players desire - sensitive, kind, emotionally intelligent, respectful, and supportive - it’d simply require consistent effort. But such a request is too often met with anger, resentment, mockery, or dismissal.

Which creates the question: if an AI Boyfriend can offer a sufficient simulacra of a relationship beyond what many men are willing to do, is it worth it? Is it worth letting oneself be wooed by the digital embrace of Artificial Intelligence?

It seems many women have, to some extent, answered yes.

But from this comes another question: how do we bridge the human desire for physical intimacy with the intangibility of AI? Currently, while AI has made admittedly shocking strides in advancement in terms of communication ability, memory, and realism, it is still bound by the limitations of the black mirror of computer screens.