Me Asf

literally me on a random thursday

"OH BOY, IT WOULD SURE SUCK IF THE FAE TOOK ME!" cried the man banging pots and pans together in the middle of a mushroom circle.

my plans are to cry in the shower

its a sunny day when i remembered the fact that Helaegon is

canon

married

has TWINS boy and girl (jackpot bcuz they can experience parenthood raising boy and girl at the same time)

another baby boy conceived in the new year because he was jealous seeing his wife dancing with their nephew and that makes it 3 kids

sleep in one bed

'pathetic, up to no good' x 'innocent, secretly freaky' couple

doomed, angsty, marriage of convenience, failmarriage trope so elite that it lit up into so many ideas, possibilities and even the parallels on how their relationship develop in fanfics

💚 yes thats Helaegon for you 💚

i need to have my ribs cracked open and my heart bitten into and yes it is a sex thing obviously

you want to fuck him i want to unzip his flesh and crawl inside him and hide there forever

idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that