Vervainandspritz - KEEP QUIET

Physical touch is their love language

Enemies with Benefits

Part 17: 1 of 2

Previous part here

I’m breaking this part up into two smaller parts because I just couldn’t wait to share more with you guys; I hope you’re all cool with that!

***!!!Warning: mentions of military service, hintings of PTSD!!!***

…………………………………………………………………………….

“Do you still think about it a lot?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you still think about it a lot?”

“Do I still think about what, love?”

Lying together in his bed, Tommy and Y/N were wrapped in each other, snuggled as close together as possible. His arm was around her while his hand tenderly stroked through her hair, and Y/N’s head was nestled on Tommy’s chest, her fingers softly running along his skin. She absentmindedly traced along the lines of the tattoo on his pec, and they’d been silent for a while, basking in the bliss of finally being together. It was now nearly morning, but the sky was still dark, and it still felt as if they were the only two people in the world, and Y/N hadn’t been able to resist asking the question.

“When you were in the army; when you were deployed,” Y/N clarified quietly, her head still resting on his chest. “Is it something you still think about a lot?”

Y/N felt Tommy tense underneath her, and she stopped tracing along his chest and laid her palm softly against him instead. When he didn’t answer right away, she then shifted to lift her head and look at him, and when he met her eyes, her voice was soft again.

“Polly told me, the morning after the robbery,” she explained. “And I saw your tags on the shelf last night.”

When Tommy still didn’t say anything, Y/N began to feel nervous. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought it up.

“I’m sorry,” she quickly began again, looking down and fiddling with the bedsheet. “I understand if it’s a sensitive subject, and we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I just...” she lifted her eyes and looked at him again. “I want to really know you, Tommy, and your past is part of who you are.”

Silently looking back at Y/N for another moment, Tommy was battling the issue of not wanting to talk about that part of his life and processing the unbelievable rush of emotion he felt for Y/N at her statement.

He’d gotten closer to her than he’d ever gotten to any other woman. Frankly, she was the first woman he’d ever wanted to give true consideration to. Rather than a cookie-cutter girl who had no real substance and was only useful for scratching an itch, Y/N was a breed all her own. She was the elusive perfect woman for him that Tommy had imagined in some of his darkest times, but who he didn’t think he’d actually find until he’d met her, and he felt something within himself soften whenever they were together.

But there were aspects of Tommy’s life that Y/N wasn’t going to learn about or get to the bottom of in a single conversation, or even many. It would still take plenty of time and silent patience before Tommy would possibly fully open up to her or reveal those parts.

“Forget it. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Y/N said with a shake of her head when he still hadn’t answered her, but as she began to pull away to give him some space, Tommy reached out and stopped her.

“It’s alright, love,” he said as he stroked her cheek. “It’s not exactly a secret.”

“It was a big part of your life,” Y/N replied, trying to softly encourage him to talk.

Tommy dismissively shook his head and shrugged a shoulder.

“It’s not important,” he said, wanting to downplay it.

“Yes, it is,” Y/N replied, not wanting to push him but not liking the fact that he brushed it off like that. “It’s a part of what shaped you; of who you are. And from what Polly told me, you were quite determined, for multiple reasons.”

“Polly likes to harp on things for the sake of being dramatic, even when they’re not important,” Tommy said, still trying to downplay it all.

“Tommy...”

He huffed out an exhale then, wanting to give Y/N something to appease her, but not wanting to focus on it for long.

“It was just something I chose to do,” Tommy said then. “I had anger and energy from a shit childhood that I didn’t know how to channel, and no other place to go. University wasn’t for me, and I figured I should at least make myself useful to someone, and so there you go.”

Y/N looked at him.

“Was it awful?” she asked then.

“It wasn’t a holiday,” Tommy answered simply, and she could tell he didn’t want to elaborate. “But I wasn’t useful anywhere else.”

“I highly doubt that,” Y/N said. “From what Polly told me, you were useful even before the army. Trying to take care of everyone; trying to make things better. That’s a lot of weight to carry, especially when you were so young.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Tommy answered.

“Yes, you did,” Y/N replied. “You didn’t have to shoulder that responsibility, but you did. And you could have just allowed yourself to stay angry, to choose a different path that could have been destructive, to let things stay as they were and just be mad. But you didn’t. You took it upon yourself to be better, to take steps to make sure your family was taken care of. Don’t belittle that, Tommy.”

From what small amount of knowledge she had on someone in his position, Y/N did know that Tommy’s dismissive attitude and downplaying of his past was a common behavior among veterans. But she sensed that it didn’t just stem from his military experience, but also from just who he was as a person. She knew he was determined, devoted, and fiercely protective of those he cared about. He always made sure everyone else was alright, but didn’t put any importance on himself because he always felt like he still wasn’t good enough, and like he still could or should be doing more.

Leaning forward and softly stroking his chest again, Y/N knew she shouldn’t push him any further right now.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to push you,” she said softly as she looked at him. “But just know that if you ever feel like sharing anything with me, or even if you just need someone to listen and not say anything, I’m here...and I think you’re very important.”

After a brief pause as he looked in her eyes, Tommy wrapped a hand around the back of Y/N’s neck and pulled her to him, their lips meeting for a passionate kiss as they each tried to wordlessly convey the feelings growing between them.

When they parted, Tommy stroked Y/N’s cheek as he smiled at her, and when she reached up and brushed a piece of his hair off his forehead, Tommy reached down and slowly ran the palm of his free hand back and forth over her bare bottom.

“Don’t look so pleased with yourself, Mr. Shelby,” Y/N teased him and gave him another quick peck.

“Well, let’s see, I have a sweet, beautiful, pistol of a woman lying naked in my bed, who can’t resist me and completely falls apart when I touch her, so I’d say I have plenty to be pleased about.”

Blushing and pushing away from Tommy in a feeble attempt to outdo him, Y/N spoke with a sheepish little smile as she pulled the bedsheet more tightly around herself.

“I do not fall apart, and I can totally resist you,” she insisted unconvincingly with another blush, scooting further away from him.

At that, Tommy rolled over after her and peeled the sheet from her body with little resistance before positioning himself above her and grabbing her wrists, pinning her in place. Y/N’s heart immediately began pounding again and she squirmed in pleasure as Tommy nosed along her neck and then kissed her there, his growing erection pressing against her pussy, which was immediately wet again.

“Oh, really?” he said tauntingly as he rocked his hips into hers and she moaned, arching up to meet his thrust. “Then why do I already have you moaning, and you’ve already drenched my cock again, hmm?”

He sensually kissed her neck again and rocked his hips once more, and Y/N whined as she tried to feel him exactly where she wanted, her wrists still in his grasp.

“Tommy…” she breathed out, the same desperation in her voice as there had been all night.

“That sounds pretty desperate to me,” he said to her teasingly as he looked down at her. “Now, are you going to keep up the charade, or do you just want me to fuck you?”

Speechless, Y/N just thrusted her hips up to him again, biting her lip in need as their eyes met and she silently begged him. Smirking, Tommy shook his head and spoke before slipping deeply inside her.

“Well, it was a valiant effort, love,” he said.

@nyxxie-pooh @xsweetcatastrophe @allie131313 @betty21rose @febris-amatoria

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KINKTOBER IS HERE WHERE ARE THE SLUTTIEST MOST FILTHY CILLIAN MURPHY FICS I'M READY

I love when trauma makes characters messy. I love when characters don't know how to show love. I love when they lash out. I love when they're vile and break down. I love characters who aren't perfect victims. I love when stories don't excuse behaviour but allow you to understand it

I will remove anyone from my life to protect the peace that I've worked so hard for. Nobody took me out of the dark. I did it on my own.

Unknown

The great acting on Natasha's side, the character's lively emotions and heartfelt love and pain she was feeling through the whole series is the reason I will ALWAYS choose Lizzie.

She deserved better.

peaky blinders — 6x03 created by steven knight

could you do a smut where it takes place after season 4, episode one when Tommy murders that butcher, so right after that he’s extremely pissed off and frustrated so he goes to the bedroom where reader is sleeping in the dark and he wants to let out his stress so he fucks reader roughly while still covered in all that blood it turns reader on a lot and Tommy’s very degrading with his words:)?

WHAT YOU'RE MADE FOR

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: death, angst, violence, angry sex, degradation, smut

A/N: Y'all better start sending requests istg

~~

It felt almost deranged, as Thomas stared in the almost dead man's eyes. Life leaving his irises, lungs choking on blood while trying to take a breath. One so desperately needed. His mouth wide open, pathetically attempting to inhale some oxygen which was already impossible. Last blinks, last moves before he fell to the floor, dirtying everything around and... Leaving the meat raw on the table.

Thomas looked around, only now noticing the state he was in. Covered in blood, almost head to toe. His expensive vest and suit pants absolutely drenched, not to mention the shirt. Letting out a sharp breath, he dropped the sharp tool to the floor, making his way out of the kitchen.

He had so much to do before Christmas. Since the cook died, he needed a new one. Tommy had to call around, find someone last minute and pay extra for cleaning and keeping silent about whereabouts in the Arrow house. So much to do, yet he could barely think with the adrenaline pumping through his veins, making his heart thump and his hands shake.

Normally he would take opium to make it better, but Thomas was well too aware of his wife's reaction to the drug. She hated when he was under influence.

Huffing angrily under his nose he thought of an alternative, and frustration grew as he thought about how difficult Y/N has to make it by arguing. Always arguing. Forcing him to eat better, to take care of himself. So damn loud and opinionated. Throwing back a glass of whiskey, his eyes landed on the staircase and the idea suddenly appeared in his head.

Without missing a beat he made his way up the stairs, leaving bloody marks on the handrail and expensive wood. Quickly walking through the corridor he barged through the door, his precious wife laying on the bed, beautiful as ever. Her white gown hunched up slightly higher than usual, revealing her creamy thighs and reminding him of the lack of underwear.

Standing there, simply staring Thomas felt his pants becoming tighter, all blood going south, exactly where he needed it. Quickly unbuckling his belt and pants he walked over, leaning forward he cooed quietly seeing her peaceful face.

His hand traced her cheek lightly, leaving a bloody mark that made his teeth clench. Deep, crimson red colour in such a stark contrast with the innocent face and white gown of hers. Without waking her up, he quickly pulled her to the edge of the bed by her legs, startling her awake.

"T–Tommy?" She mumbled, eyes barely open as he flipped her on her stomach with a growl. Adrenaline buzzed in his ears as he pawed on her skin, leaving mark after mark from the blood he had on. After a moment she lifted her head, looking back and seeing him completely red, which caused her to squeak in fear. "Thomas, wh–" but he cut her off, pulling his cock out and shoving her legs apart, spitting on her pussy to use as a lube.

"Shut up!" He hissed, climbing onto the bed and straddling her thighs. "I kept you safe. I've fulfilled my duty, and kept you safe!" He hissed into her ear, grabbing a handful of hair, nudging her entrance with the tip of his cock.

A loud moan caused by the sudden stretch and pain filled the air as he slammed himself to the hilt, not able to wait any longer. His hand immediately covered her mouth, two fingers shoved into her mouth to keep her quiet. "The least you can do is fucking take it" He growled into her ear, thrusting impatiently into her tight heat, feeling the wetness pooling from her entrance at his rough manhandling. "That's what you're fucking made for!" She moaned loudly, feeling the bitter metallic taste on his fingers, filling her mouth and making it hard to breathe which made her keep squirming.

Thomas laid himself over her, fucking her from the back, putting his complete weight on top of her.

"You feel it? The fucking taste?" He growled, pulling her hair with another hand. "It's a taste of your safety." His voice was different, clearly because of the chaotic situation he's been through just a couple minutes earlier. Y/N had no idea what was turning her on so much, whether it was the danger to this whole situation, or maybe him fucking her so roughly. "Answer me!" He roared, plunging even deeper than before, his tip kissing her cervix really hard, causing her to nod frantically. "Some cock and you're already too fucking dumb to speak, eh? Good thing your cunt 's always wet then" He added, cruelly almost, knowing how much she loved being degraded. "Nothing more needed to be my precious little fuckhole" He purred, picking up his pace, fucking her faster and harder. Whimper after whimper leaving her lips before he pulled his fingers out of her mouth and wrapped them around her throat.

"Shhhh" He cooed, "You don't want to wake up the kids, do you?" He emphasized the last two words with painful deep thrusts, making her feel like he was already in her belly.

"Tommy" She managed to stutter out, holding onto his hand which was squeezing her pretty hard, cutting off the blood flow and causing her eyesight to go blurry.

"I feel you squeezing my fucking cock. You like that, eh? Being fucked, covered in blood and treated like a cheap whore." He groaned by her ear, the free hand reaching underneath to pinch her clit and rub brutal circles, causing her to cry out weakly. "Nasty fucking cunt" He purred as she came around him so hard, before completely going limp on top of her. Pressing her into the mattress as his thrusts grew frantic, deeper and slower while her cunt milked him for all he had.

Only then did he let go of her throat, slowly threading his fingers through her hair, as they both tried to catch their breaths.

Tommy lifted his head up, seeing her so beautifully fucked out and smiled. Kissing the side of her face, he murmured.

"We need a cleaning service in the kitchen... and a new cook."

After Hours

Part 14

Previous part here

..........................................................................................

Hey, it’s Jason. I got your number off Y/N’s phone. Y/N will be at Plume tonight. I’ll have a back booth reserved for you. Be there at 9:00 p.m., and I’ll make sure you guys have a chance to talk.

Upon reading the text message he’d just received, Robert’s pulse quickened. He hadn’t heard anything since he and Jason had talked yesterday morning, but now, his heart was pounding with the anticipation of finally being able to talk to Y/N. Had she read his letter? What was she thinking?

Rather than question anything, Robert was going to seize whatever opportunity he could get. Quickly, he replied to Jason.

I’ll be there at 9. Thank you.

Exhaling, Robert was certain that the next few hours of waiting were going to be the longest of his life.

•.•.•.•.•

“I have to tell you something, but you have to promise that you won’t be mad at me.”

Pausing, Y/N looked over her shoulder to Jason standing in the doorway, her arm stopped mid-air as she had been reaching for her outfit that was hanging on the wardrobe bar.

“Nothing good ever started with that statement,” she said concernedly as she met his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Moving from the doorway and stepping further into the dressing room, Jason walked over to Y/N and looked at her.

“It’s not a bad thing, necessarily, but you might want to sit down.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Y/N said, dropping her arm and turning to fully face him. “What’s going on?”

“Just come sit,” Jason said, and he jerked his head towards the two chairs and small table that were off to the side of the room.

Apprehensively, Y/N followed Jason as he walked over to the chairs, and she sat down in the one opposite him.

“Jason, what’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”

Pausing for a moment, Jason looked at Y/N as she sat down, and then he spoke.

“Ok, before I tell you, please just remember that what I did, I did for your own good.”

Y/N shook her head, frowning.

“What did you do?”

Jason hesitated for just a moment again, and then he continued.

“I went to see Robert Fischer.”

Still frowning, Y/N wasn’t understanding what he was saying.

“What?” she asked confusedly, shaking her head, thinking she misheard him. 

“I went to see Robert Fischer,” Jason repeated. “Yesterday, at his office.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat as she processed what he said.

“You what?” her eyes widened. “What do you mean you went to see him?”

“I went to his office yesterday. I went to talk to him.”

“Talk to him?” Y/N repeated back questioningly. “What do you mean you went to talk to him? You don’t even know him. What could you possibly have had to talk to him about?”

“You,” Jason answered, looking at her.

“Me? What do you mean me? Jason, what the hell are you talking about? What’s going on? What did you do?”

Jason shifted in his chair.

“I went to go see him yesterday, to talk to him about you. You were so upset, and I was so mad about what he did to you, and I just felt the need to confront him about it. I wanted to tell him what an asshole he was and to leave you alone.”

“You what?!” Y/N practically shrieked after she heard Jason’s response. “Jason, are you crazy?! How could you do that?!”

“Because you’re my best friend, and I didn’t want him to keep hurting you or playing with your feelings! And since I knew you’d never stand up for yourself, I felt the need to do it for you.”

“Jason! Oh my God!” Y/N said, putting her head in her hands.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Jason replied, “but I didn’t want him to think he could keep hurting you.”

“Jason...” Y/N said again, her head still down. Her heart was pounding in disbelief and embarrassment. She couldn’t believe Jason had done this. When she looked up again, he was looking at her.

“I was fully prepared to just avoid him for the rest of my life,” Y/N said then. “This is nuts!”

“I’m sorry,” Jason repeated. “I just didn’t want him to hurt you again. You’re my best friend, and you’ve been there for me through so much, from the little things to the biggest obstacles, like when I came out to my family. I was just trying to be as good a friend to you as you are to me.”

As she processed his reply, Y/N’s anxiety lessened slightly. As nuts as the situation was, she was truly touched by what Jason had expressed.

“Jason...” she shook her head. “That is so sweet...and so twisted.” She gave him the tiniest hint of a smile. “You should have just left well enough alone."

"Well enough?” Jason asked sarcastically. “I would hardly say you’re well enough after what happened.”

Y/N shook her head again.

“So what...I mean...what did you say to him? What happened?”

“I went to his office and I told him that the things he said about you and the stunt he pulled the other night were about as low as someone could get. I told him that you were better off without him, and he was an asshole who didn’t deserve you.”

Y/N’s eyes widened.

“I can’t believe you said that.”

“He was pretty surprised, too,” Jason smiled back at her.

“I can only imagine,” she said. “So, what did he say when you told him all that?”

“He agreed with me completely.”

Furrowing her brow in confusion, Y/N tilted her head. 

“What? What do you mean?”

Jason shifted in his chair again.

“Well, that’s the other thing. I may have gone to confront him, but he ended up having a few things to say himself.”

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked again, her pulse rising once more.

At that, Jason pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the voice recordings.

“He didn’t know it, but I recorded my conversation with him. I wanted you to be able to hear whatever he was going to say.” Jason then set his phone down on the table and poised his finger over the play button. “I think you should hear this,” he finished.

After pressing play, Jason’s and Robert’s voices could be heard as their conversation from the day prior played back through his phone.

She heard it all. Everything Robert said. His misunderstanding about who Jason was. His admission of overhearing her with Beth and his shock at finding out she did this. The fact that he went to go see her the very first time and she didn’t even know it. That he’d arranged the performance at the new venue in an attempt to have the chance to talk to her after she’d rejected his other attempts and he’d missed her at her apartment. That he’d been trying to apologize since the day it all had happened. And most of all, that he’d said what he had not because he actually believed it, but because he’d been so temporarily blinded by jealousy, hating the idea of any other man seeing her like that or being involved with her.

The entire time the recording played, Y/N’s heart was pounding. She heard the truth, the sincerity in Robert’s voice, having come to learn over the last few years exactly what that sounded like. And then she heard his next statement.

“Because I’m crazy about her; I have been for a long time.”

Then more.

“...but she means more to me than anything.”

And finally.

“I love her. I’m in love with her.”

After that, Jason reached out and stopped the recording, and Y/N could do nothing but stare down at the table, shocked at everything she’d just heard. Her heart was pounding, and she didn’t know whether to cry or scream or...even what. What she’d just heard had suddenly changed everything, and all she could think about was the realization that Robert felt the same way about her as she did about him all this time, and that apparently, everything that had happened occurred because he loved her.

Finally, after a moment of silence, Jason spoke.

“He loves you,” he said. “I’ve never seen any man look as desperate or remorseful as he did the entire time he talked about you.”

“I...I...” Y/N didn’t know what to say. She was frozen from the shock of it all.

He loved her. He was in love with her, and he’d done what he had in an attempt to fix things, to apologize. She couldn’t believe it.

“Oh, and here, you should have this,” Jason spoke up again then, and he reached behind him and pulled something out of his back pocket. As he handed it to her, Y/N saw that it was an envelope, and as she took it from him, she realized it was the very same envelope that had originally been attached to each bouquet of flowers Robert had sent her those few weeks ago, the stamp from the delivery company still on the seal.

“Read it this time,” he encouraged her, and then he rose from his chair and left the room, giving her privacy as she turned the envelope over in her hand.

Taking a deep breath, her hands slightly shaky, Y/N carefully slipped her finger under the seal and opened the envelope. Pulling out the piece of paper, she unfolded it and held it in front of her, immediately recognizing Robert’s handwriting.

Dear Y/N,

There is absolutely nothing that I have ever wanted more in my entire life than to take back what I said to you that day. If I could somehow go back and change what happened, I would do it in an instant, and then I would instead tell you what I’ve wanted to tell you for a very long time.

You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. You are incredibly sweet, warm, intelligent, compassionate, and beautiful, both inside and out. I have never known anyone as loving and kind as you, and all I could do every day was count the minutes until I’d get to see you and be around you. You saw me in a way I never expected anyone to, and every day, you made me want to strive to be the man that you’d want, that you deserved. Of course, I knew I’d never deserve you, but that never stopped me from wanting to try.

I want to apologize, to tell you how sorry I am, but I know that will never be enough. What I said to you is unforgiveable, and I can assure you that I’ll never forgive myself for it, either. All I want is to tell you how incredibly sorry I am, and that I need you to know that I do not, nor have I ever, or will ever, think those things about you. What I said came from jealously, and although that’s no excuse, I need you to know that I didn’t mean a word of it. The only thing I can do now is hope that you’ll believe me, because you should know that the only thing I’ve ever seen when I look at you is perfection. The only thing I’ve ever felt when I’ve been around you is happiness. And that happiness went away the minute you left that day.

I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry, and I’m so ashamed. And I know I don’t deserve to even ask for it, but if there’s any way you could find it in your heart to give me another chance, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness.

Whatever you decide, please just know how sorry I am, and that if I could take it all back, I would do it at any cost. You mean everything to me, Y/N, and that’s something I should have told you a long time ago.

All my love,

Robert

By the time she’d gotten to the last few lines of the letter, Y/N could hardly see clearly due to the tears that were brimming in her eyes. Her hands were still shaking slightly as she held the paper, and upon setting it down in her lap and blinking again, the tears started to fall from her eyes. Lifting her hands to her face, she wiped her cheeks as she tried to digest all that Robert had written, every beautiful line.

She could feel him in that letter, feel his sincerity and his remorse. He meant every word; she just knew it. Through his words, she felt the connection to him that she sometimes could swear she felt in the past. Only this time, he’d verified that what she thought she’d sensed from him wasn’t just her imagination.

Her heart suddenly felt as if it had finally been released after being painfully twisted in a vise, and when she looked down at the letter again, Y/N knew that it was always going to be Robert who could make her feel this way. Him and only him. This incredibly sweet man with a good heart who had always made her feel like she was the only person in the world whenever they were together. Who’d always made her feel protected in one way or another, and who she now knew had exhausted every possible effort to try to tell her what she meant to him. 

Y/N sat there for several more minutes, just processing everything, when Jason cautiously entered the room again, checking to see if she’d gotten through the letter. Y/N silently nodded and then handed the letter to him to read, and after he’d finished and then set it down, the two of them looked at each other.

“He means it,” Jason said to her quietly.

Y/N nodded.

“I know,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I have to talk to him, but...how do I even start that conversation?”

Jason shook his head.

“He won’t care how you start it, just put him out of his misery and talk to him.”

Y/N nodded slowly.

“You can do it tonight,” Jason said then.

“What? How? I’m about to go onstage in a few minutes,” Y/N replied, looking at him. 

“I know. You can talk to him afterwards. He’s waiting for you.”

At that, Y/N’s eyes widened.

“Wait...what? You mean, he’s here? Out there? Right now?”

“Yes. I told him to come tonight.”

“Oh my God,” Y/N replied. “Jason! I...oh my God.”

“What? You love him, don’t you? You want to reconcile.”

“Of course I do,” Y/N replied. “But I can’t perform knowing that he’s in the audience.”

“Why not?”

“Because! I’ve always done this knowing that it was strangers in the audience. I mean, yes, he’s who I always think about, but...”

She shook her head, trailing off. No matter the fact that he now knew she did this, Y/N still had trouble with the idea of Robert seeing her perform. It was so personal, and despite how much she loved him, and how she’d always done this with him in mind, actually having him there was another story. Her pride still hadn’t recovered from the ensemble performance. Imagining doing this for him and actually doing it were two different things.

“I think you need to show him that,” Jason said then.

“Show him what?”

“That he’s the one you do this for.”

“What? No, I...”

Y/N began to protest, but then, upon thinking about it, she realized maybe Jason was right. After all, Robert was the one behind all of this for her, yet he’d been completely caught off guard by the entire thing. And while that wasn’t her fault, it was true that he deserved to know that he was the man behind every one of her performances. If she did this for him, then she should show him that. And as she thought of the heartfelt letter he’d written her, she thought that perhaps this could be a way for her to finally express her own feelings back to him.

Her hands clammy and her body feeling shaky with nerves, Y/N looked at Jason then and slowly nodded her head.

“Go tell Dee I need to change my song,” she said.

She grabbed a piece of scrap paper and a pen off the table then and quickly wrote something down. Then she picked it up and handed it to Jason.

“Then can you go tell whoever’s in charge of the music tonight to play this for me instead?”

Looking down and reading what she’d wrote, Jason then looked up and gave her a smile and a quick nod. Then he hurriedly left the room, and as she turned and looked at herself in the mirror, Y/N took a deep breath.

She’d never felt this nervous before in her entire life.

•.•.•.•.•

After having shared Y/N’s update with Dee and also the employee in the sound booth, Jason made his way across the large room of patrons and to the back booths. He spotted Robert in the booth he’d had reserved for him, and as he reached him, Robert looked up.

“She read your letter,” Jason told him after they’d greeted each other.

Robert’s heart pounded.

“And?” he asked, his expression both worried and hopeful. “What is she thinking?”

Giving Robert a knowing smile, Jason replied.

“Just keep your eyes up there and she’ll tell you,” he said, and he jerked his head towards the stage.

After that, Jason walked away, and moments later, the lights in the room dimmed and everyone’s attention was aimed to the stage. Soon, the stage curtain began to rise as a soft, slow intro to a song began to play.

A spotlight was aimed on the stage center, and upon the curtain fully rising, Robert saw Y/N standing there, looking more beautiful than he’d ever seen her before in a drapey, romantic, fuschia-colored evening dress. His heart pounded as he looked at her, and, her hands somewhat nervously clasped in front of her, Y/N’s eyes were aimed down as she stood in front of the microphone as the dramatic intro led into the first lines of the song.

Sweet love, sweet love,

trapped in  your love.

I’ve opened up, unsure I can trust.

My heart and I were buried in dust.

Free me, free us.

You’re all I need, when I‘m holding you tight.

If you walk away, I will suffer tonight.

I found a man I can trust,

and boy, I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I’ve finally found my way.

I am bound to you.

I am bound to you.

As Robert listened to the song and Y/N’s voice, he was completely captivated. Her emotion was palpable as she sang, and in that moment, he saw all of her beautiful warmth and vulnerability. Her nerves seemed to ease more with each line, and her face mirrored the emotion of the song as she continued, her hands unclasping as she closed her eyes and raised a palm to her chest in deep expression. 

So much, so young,

I faced on my own.

Walls I built up became my home.

I’m strong and I’m sure there’s a fire in us.

Sweet love, so pure.

I catch my breath with just one beating heart.

And I brace myself, please don’t tear this apart.

I found a man I can trust, and boy, I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I finally found my way.

I am bound to you.

I am bound to you.

Every word of the song went to Robert’s heart as he watched Y/N, and as he processed what the message was, he felt the same connection to her that he had that very first time he’d come to see her, only this time, it was even stronger. He didn’t wish, he knew she was speaking to him, and with that, his love for her rushed through him all over again, the feelings he had for her and the message she was sending him making it almost impossible to stay where he was instead of going up to her right then and there and wrapping her in his arms.

Suddenly the moment’s here,

I embrace my fears.

All that I have been carrying all these years.

Do I risk it all? Come this far just to fall?

Fall.

I can trust, and boy, I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I finally found my way.

I am bound to you.

I am, ohhh, I am,

I’m bound to you.

As the music faded out and the audience began clapping, Y/N finally opened her eyes, and when she did, Robert could see the shimmer of the tears that were threatening to spill over at any moment. His chest nearly caved in, and when she gave the audience a timid smile of appreciation and then turned to walk off the stage, Robert felt more restless than he ever had in his entire life. He had to speak to her.

As the lights came back up, Robert looked around the room, and he saw Jason heading towards him again. As he reached the table, Robert was already standing up.

“I need to see her,” he said to Jason.

Without a word, Jason instead just nodded, then jerked his head in indication for Robert to follow him. As they walked through the crowded room and towards the set of doors off to the side, Robert’s heart was pounding.

Making it back to the dressing room and closing the door, Y/N walked over to the vanity and gripped the edge with her hands, bracing herself. Her heart was pounding, the realization of what she’d just done hitting her again as she tried to steady her breathing. She knew Robert was out there somewhere, and she closed her eyes again, the barely contained tears finally escaping her as she released a shaky breath. In that moment, it was all just so emotional, and as she thought about Robert and everything she felt for him, she suddenly felt so alone without him there.

Leading Robert down the back hallway, Jason began to slow down as they approached a closed door to their right. Hanging back, Jason indicated to Robert that this was where he could find Y/N, and he encouraged him to step in front of the door as he looked at him.

“She’s in there,” he said to Robert quietly. Then he gave him a small smile and turned, walking back down the hallway and out into the club.

As soon as Jason had disappeared, Robert turned back to the door, his heart pounding. After pausing to take a deep breath, he lifted his hand to the door, gently knocking and waiting for a response.

Still standing at the vanity, Y/N raised her head and looked across the room when she heard a knock on the door. She guessed it was either Dee or Jason, and she quickly lifted her hands to her cheeks to try and wipe away her tears before she turned to face the door and then spoke.

“Come in,” she called out softly.

As Robert heard her voice through the door, he took a final breath before reaching out and grasping the doorknob. Turning it, he slowly opened the door, and upon pushing it all the way and being met with the sight of Y/N across the room, his heart pounded again. As their eyes met, he saw the surprise and the emotion on her face, and as he noticed the tears still shining on her cheeks, his chest tightened.

Frozen in surprise at seeing Robert at the door, Y/N couldn’t move at first, and when she looked in his eyes, her own welled up again. Her heart pounding, she released a small sob, and the tears fell again as she blinked and looked back at him.

As he saw Y/N standing there, Robert was still for just a moment, taking in the sight of her and trying to gauge her reaction. But when she gave a helpless little sob and she looked at him with tears shining on her cheeks, there was only one thing he could do.

Immediately moving, Robert stepped into the room and crossed the floor to her in three large strides, and when he reached her, he wrapped an arm around her waist while his other hand cradled the back of her head, urgently pulling her to him and into a kiss as he wordlessly brought her face to his. A tiny gasp escaped her just before their lips met, and as Robert covered Y/N’s mouth with his, he held her tighter, willing her to forgive him as he kissed her with everything he had.

Her heart pounding, Y/N could see the concern and the remorse in Robert’s eyes right before he grabbed her. She gasped as he pulled her to him, but as soon as Y/N’s lips met his, everything else washed away, his kiss and his embrace the only thing she needed now.

The kiss was deep, passionate, and as Robert felt Y/N kiss him back as she fell against him, he held her tighter, trying to show her both how much he loved her and how sorry he was. As he then felt her lift her arms and slip them around his neck, he was consumed with the insane relief and elation that he had another chance with her. She was forgiving him, she was trusting him, and she was giving him another chance. 

It could have been seconds or minutes – neither of them knew, and Y/N wrapped her arms more tightly around Robert’s neck as their lips connected again and again. Finally, she felt him loosen his grip around her waist slightly, and he slipped his hand from the back of her head to her cheek as he parted from her lips.

Reluctantly, Robert finally put space between them, not wanting to, but knowing that he still had to say it. Cupping Y/N’s cheek, he still lingered close to her, their foreheads nearly touching as they both opened their eyes and he looked at her.

“I’m sorry,” Robert whispered, stroking her cheek. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, and I’m so sorry.”

Still clutching him, Y/N inhaled a shaky breath, slowly nodding as he held her.

“I know,” she said softly. “I know. Your letter...”

“If you can forgive me, I promise you that I’ll never hurt you again.”

Nodding once more, Y/N softly pressed her forehead to his.

“I forgive you,” she whispered.

The final last bit of worry that Robert still had then vanished with those words, and he stroked Y/N’s cheek again, pulling away from her just enough to be able to look into her eyes.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said to her.

Looking back at Robert, Y/N’s heart pounded at his words, and the emotion she thought she’d seen in his eyes all those times before was now more obvious than anything, and, looking back at her, Robert saw the same in Y/N’s eyes.

“I love you, too,” she said then, a stray tear still shining on her cheek as she looked back at him.

Still cradling her face, Robert swiped away the tear with his thumb as he held her eyes for a moment longer, and when he felt Y/N lift her hand and lovingly place it on top of his, he knew that he had his second chance. And as he kissed her once more, he swore to himself in that moment that that was the final chance he’d ever need, because he never planned on losing her again.

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EVERY INCH OF YOU

Raymond Leon x Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: angst, smut, fluff

A/N: interact please!

Summary: The best day of the year turns out to be a nightmare, at first. At least until Y/N goes looking for safety within the so familiar arms of a man she pushed away. Was sacrificing their friendship worth it?

Y/N couldn't believe what was happening. Her eyes opened wide at the… sight, or more like the sound coming from one of the cabins. The party she attended with her long term boyfriend turned into the worst nightmare. All the time wasted, broken promises and times she defended him to her friends playing on the back of her mind, as the obnoxious sounds of Luke having sex with another woman made Y/N stop in her tracks, unable to breathe.

Only when tears spilled down her cheeks, she almost ran out of the bathroom, the door slamming shut. Her eyesight was completely blurry, only the blinding lights and familiar faces occasionally blinked through the blur, some people calling out her name or slowly making their way to her, wanting to talk probably until they saw the state she was in.

“Y/N!” She heard shouting from behind out of a sudden, and without turning around or thinking she pushed through the crowd, not wanting to see or talk to him. “wait! It's not like that! Please!”

Luke's voice became more distant as the distance grew between them, because she managed to escape much quicker being smaller in size than he was. She fell out the door straight onto the sidewalk, rain mercilessly pouring from the sky. Drenching her to the last thread in mere seconds.

Hearing the footsteps behind her, Y/N tripped lightly, slipping in her heels and twisting her ankle which caused her to groan weakly. Knowing she had little to no time, Y/N quickly took off her high heels, clutching them in her hand as she ran through the street barefoot, not affording to care what other people thought seeing her in such a state. Only a couple streets away she managed to catch a cab, jumping in on autopilot. After telling the driver the right address, she pulled out her phone from the slightly wet purse, wiping the screen and doing her best to stop sobbing, immediately clicking the right contact.

Are you home?

She sent mindlessly and a reply came less than two minutes later. On the other side of the screen, he furrowed his brows seeing the message. It was a well known fact that THAT day she was going to celebrate with her long-term boyfriend, so he didn't expect to hear from her anytime soon.

R: What happened?

He typed out, sensing something bad. After knowing Y/N for a decade, Ray knew her better than his own pocket, even though she cut down on the contact with him lately, because Luke felt insecure about their friendship. He couldn't say he was surprised, because he wasn't. Even though he never admitted anything, nor to Y/N or himself, he knew there was… something else to their friendship, and he never strayed from flirting with her whenever an opportunity appeared, despite knowing how pointless it was.

As soon as Y/N read the message, she knew he was home. If he'd be at work, Raymond wouldn't respond nearly as quickly as he did. Shoving her phone back into her purse, she didn't bother with an answer, instead wiped the tears off her face, gaining back some eyesight as she realised that she reached her destination.

After handing the money, she got out of the car, also barefoot, quickly making her way to the right apartment.

Water was dripping from her dress, hair and every single inch of her skin, making her look and feel less than presentable but at this particular moment, she didn't care. All Y/N needed right now was to finally make the right choice, and… finally feel beautiful.

Raymond was pacing back and forth in his living room, impatiently waiting for a text back that never came. He was quite worried, uneasy and absolutely stressed, so when he registered the knocking on the door, he immediately darted to the corridor.

The last thing he'd expect to see was Y/N, standing in the doorway barefoot, with smudged makeup and wet hair. But before he could ask, she walked in, dropped everything she was holding to the floor and her hands immediately clutched onto his shirt, pushing him onto the wall. Her lips pressed against his own tightly, immediately demanding access to his tongue, deepening the kiss. For a moment he froze, caught off guard by her sudden bold move. But then his lips responded fiercely, kissing Y/N back with bruising intensity as years of pent-up tension boiled over. One hand tangled in her hair while the other gripped the hip possessively, pulling her body flush against his hard planes. Neither of them cared about her belongings, or the floor getting absolutely wet. Raymond's mind went blank for a longer moment, but when he finally pulled back slightly, his eyes took in the sight of her teary face. He grasped her face, tilting it up to meet her eyes. Breathing deeply, clearly affected by the sudden closeness, Raymond asked.

“What happened?” In a whisper, his stomach churning at the sight of sadness drawn all over her pretty face.

Y/N just shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as her hands balled into fists, holding him close as if she was scared he'd completely pull away.

“Please. Please, Ray,” She managed to stutter out, before kissing him again. Y/N’s hands travelled underneath his shirt, tracing his muscles and freckles skin with her cold fingers, causing him to hiss quietly.

Raymond's eyes fell shut at the sensation, his heart pounding in his chest impossibly fast. He couldn't believe it was happening, her touch infatuating him like nothing else he ever felt in his long life.

Y/N clearly had no patience to take it to the bedroom, as she took off his shirt, then reached back towards the zipper of her dress, pulling it down. Raymond held her hips, pulling her close as he moved onto her neck, kissing and sucking marks on her skin. He felt like it was all a dream, completely helpless and weak trying to fight against the way her scent made him feel. Wrapping him from every single way, making him burn for more.

As her dress pooled down to their feet, his breath hitched, seeing Y/N reaching back to open her bra.

In that one moment his subconsciousness seemed to wake up, when Raymond saw a few tears streaming down her face. Clutching gently her hands, he pressed his chest to her own, keeping the material from falling, not letting her bare herself in front of him completely. Swiftly moving them around, Y/N ended up pressed to the wall. He held her wrists, caressing her skin as their noses brushed against each other once more.

“Tell me” he urged, seeing the sadness in the form of tears. She let out a quiet sigh, before burying her fingers in his hair gently.

“He… cheated on me.” She confessed quietly, feeling ashamed of her own choices that led to this moment. But he didn't let her drown, grasping her chin and tilting her head up once again. Their eyes meeting, and Y/n relaxed in the way he held her gaze. She braced herself for the upcoming pity she expected, like people always give hearing such a news.. but it never came.

“He never deserved you.” Raymond said, his voice a little rougher, almost tender despite the desire. “Not a single second he spent by your side.”

Y/N smiled through the tears, caressing his cheek with a hand for a second before pulling him to the bedroom. Pressing their bodies together once again, her hands running up and down his thighs as her tongue licked stripes over his pulse.

“I need you, Raymond. I need you to do what you have always wanted.” She whispered, breaching the silent agreement they had, to never address what was happening between them. Never cross the line, but it was too late now.

He groaned deeply, turning her around as his chest pressed to her back, greedy hands touching every inch of her skin like a man starved. Y/N was going soft in his touch, completely vulnerable and on his mercy, small gasps leaving her mouth with every kiss he was giving her.

Every touch, every whisper, every sound pushing past her lips was making him dizzy, his manhood throbbing so hard, he felt like he'd pass out when suddenly he heard her voice.

“Make me feel special, Ray. Please.” She almost begged, making his heart shatter with the tone of voice she used.

He stilled behind her small form, seeming to wrestle with himself for a long moment as he felt his throat tightening. He was never good at talking at… explaining his feelings. But Raymond couldn't get rid of the feeling that THAT was his moment and he couldn't afford to lose it. When he spoke again, his voice was deeper.

“You're so fucking special.” He stuttered out in a weaker voice, slightly trembling. His fingers held her a little tighter, almost like she'd turn into ash anytime. “No one can compare to you. In every woman I meet I look for you, but it's never enough. You're… you're a work of art, Y/N.” His voice turned more husky, but with each sentence it was easier to… talk. She was trembling in his hold as he turned her around, meeting her teary gaze once again. Taking a step forward, Raymond forced her to step back, her knee touching the bed frame while he slowly laid her down, climbing onto the mattress, gaze never faltering.

One large hand caressed slowly down her spine as the other reached around to cup her perfect breast, kneading the soft flesh.

“That pathetic boy never deserved you. He's a blind fool who couldn't appreciate perfection if it slapped him in the face.” He whispered into her ear, kissing her neck.

He rolled the nipple between his fingers, pinching lightly. “But I see you. Every inch of you, inside and out. And I'm going to worship you like the goddess you are, until you forget that worthless prick even exists.” As he finished, Y/N sighed deeply, stopping him with a hand on his chest, making him raise an eyebrow in question.

“Raymond, it's… it's not about him, I'm not heartbroken, just… I'm ashamed of the way I treated you. I should have never listened to him.” She confessed quietly, her lip getting wobbly at the pure beauty he was looking at her with. Raymond cupped her cheek, leaning down until their lips were brushing against each other. His eyes shone like never before.

“Forgiven” He whispered with a smirk, kissing Y/n deeply for a couple long moments, making her feel absolutely melty. Slowly pulling away, Raymond locked his gaze on her own, lowering himself onto her collarbone and leaving a little kiss, followed by another and another. Carefully making his way down, he kissed every imperfection, every lovely inch of her being. Slowly kissing away the sadness she held in her heart. “Beautiful” he murmured every now and then. Avoiding where she needed him the most and going lower until he caught her leg, lifting her ankle to kiss it too.

Only then, going up, Ray rubbed his rough hands up and down her inner thighs making her squirm.

“Patience” He growled quietly, lowering his head to kiss her in the right place. Y/n writhed in the sheets as he kissed, licked and sucked her delicate spots, bringing her to the verge of tears as eventually orgasm flowed over her mind so hard she became dizzy. Seconds later he hung above her like a raincloud, pressing his lips to her own, letting her taste the sweetness he got to finally try.

“Please” She squealed, unable to wait any longer, and he listened, lining up his cock with her entrance.

“You're so special. So–o fucking s–special” He stuttered out with a groan, slowly filling her up as she wrapped an arm around his neck, feeling the need to have him as close as possible. “To me” he finished quietly, squeezing his eyes shut at the heavenly sensation.

Raymond couldn't say that, not yet, he didn't remember how these words sound from his lips just yet, and Y/N understood it. He needed time to wrap his head around the change in their relationship. Kissing his jaw, Y/N pressed their foreheads together.

“I love you too”

shelby company limited.