Vervainandspritz - KEEP QUIET

WICKED GAMES

Summary: Jackson had one task, to protect her while her house wasn't a safe place anymore, not after her fiancé got them in trouble with the wrong people. How is it going to work out with her combativeness and Jackson's feisty approach? The story begins when things get slightly out of control.

Word count: 4.6k

A/N: There will be part two

Rushing to “my” room, I couldn't even sob properly. Even breathing was a struggle after the situation that took place just a mere hour ago. Not to mention the conversation that followed, and hurtful words from my fiancé.

The only person who was supposed to be always on my side.

The whole situation turned on me, and yet, he had absolutely no interest in listening to a word coming from my mouth. I could still hear Harry's raised voice, hushed by a quieter tone coming from Jackson as he said something that I couldn't really hear. Fury was filling me head to toe at the lack of understanding. At the whole fucking situation that Jackson, basically, put me in. Getting into bed, I hid my face in a pillow, finally able to sob quietly. Ringing silence followed by a sudden, dramatic slam of the front door.

“Don't cry” Low, husky voice echoed throughout the hall, as Jackson's steps grew closer to my room.

I didn't even have the strength to get up and push him off the bed after he decided to sit down next to me.

“He doesn't want me anymore, he won't marry me.” I said quietly, my head turning to look at his face. Resentment growing at the memory of every detail of the conversation with my fiancé.

“Harry doesn't think like that, he just… got carried away, yeah? Got a little angry.” Jackson was convinced, trying to make it all sound better, but he was clearly lacking skills on how to cheer someone up. My blood boiled.

“Angry?” I sat up abruptly. “I was the one who almost got sexually assaulted and he didn't even bother to hug me or take me home.” I growled, my eyes becoming teary once again.

He licked his lips out of habit, I noticed. I had made a pretty strong argument, so he thought for a moment.

After a long minute Jackson sighed deeply, his brows furrowed and eyes focused on the floor in front of him. Suddenly he took off his jacket and threw it on the dresser.

“I'm mad at you too.” I said, sniffling in the meantime and wiping my nose. “For leaving me, and it's not the first time. You were supposed to protect me.” My voice grew shaky as I spoke the truth. We both knew it was right.

Jackson looked at me without emotion. Then he looked down at his fingers.

“I had no choice.” He eventually said, straightening his back, running a hand through his thick hair.

“You could have told me you were going with your goblin girlfriend, then I wouldn't have gone.” My eyes locked onto his face, I could see the twitching of his eye. He was clearly uncomfortable, but so was I and it was all his fault anyway. “Do you know how I felt when you just followed after her, and left me alone?” My tone grew sharper, accusatory.

“I'm not proud of what I did.” He admitted, clearing his throat beforehand. Jackson's body heat was slightly distracting. The warmth from him was highly appreciated, even if I wouldn't admit it. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

"--and that's fine, I hate you with all my heart." My lower lip trembled. “I wanted to be friends with you, I tried to make our time more pleasant, I even fed you when your girlfriend simply refused to do so, and you know what? I've learned that it's better to be a cold bitch or you'll get your ass kicked like I did. Like I always do.” After my words, silence filled the room for a longer moment. I thought that maybe they landed right, but then he spoke up again.

“That's not true, you don't hate me.” Jackson stated. Like he was stating something obvious, looking at me emotionlessly. I got even more angry that THAT was the only thing he caught.

“I do hate you,” I growled, grabbing him by the collar. Jackson was clearly surprised, and I clenched my jaw. “I wish you would suffer like I did.”

It was the first time in my life that I was this close to him. He looked down at me without breaking eye contact.

“You didn't even admit to him that it was all your fault.” I shook my head with anger, fingers tightening around the material.

“If I did, he would have immediately packed and taken you back to England.” His voice was hoarse, blue steely eyes still locked on my face, not daring to create more distance between us.

“Good.” I perked up. “That's what I would have wanted.”

“But I wouldn’t. I don't.” He said out of the blue.

To add to my confusion, Jackson's hands landed on my ass, pulling me towards him. My pelvis touched his chest and I didn't know what was so irrationally fucked up about that, that I couldn't get a word out...or push him away, for that matter. I just stared with wide eyes at his moving lips.

“I am aware that it's all my fault and I really don't know how to repay you. I regret it.” His voice was confident, eyes empty and hands firm on my body. My breath quickened and I had no idea what to make out of it.

“Grabbing my ass is not the best move.” My voice was dripping with sarcasm and brows furrowed in surprise before he spoke up again, shutting me up.

“You like it, I can see it in your eyes.”

…and then something very important occurred to me. At first I ignored it because I thought every woman was prone to it, but no. I pulled myself out of his grip and sat down next to him.

“Harry was right, I really do deserve to be called a whore.” I chuckled, shaking my head lightly.

Jackson’s fingers only dug deeper into my hips as he cleared his throat.

“I’d tell you something, but wouldn't want to spoil your wedding plans.” He responded with a thin layer of mockery, looking at me without blinking even.

“I know about his fleeting affair with his secretary.” I cut him off, sighing deeply. “It was a long time ago, I forgave him.” Shame burnt in my face as I said it out loud, hearing how stupidly it sounded.

Jackson hummed, just nodded and took a deeper breath.

“I assume you didn't have any,”

“Exactly.” I looked at him with regret. “So what if I sometimes wear a dress that's too short and nothing else? I'll be a whore anyway, Harry said that himself.”

He put his arm around me completely by surprise. I raised my eyebrows at him, taking advantage of the fact that I had the material of his shirt close to my face. Without missing a beat, I pressed my nose against it.

“Did you just rub yourself in my shirt?” His voice echoed throughout the room suddenly. Tone annoyed, pierced with amusement. My head tilted up, eyes locking with his own.

“I'm a mess and I could really beat you up if you start complaining about my snot on your shirt.” I spoke in a quiet yet threatening voice, which made Jackson shake his head lightly.

“It's disgusting and unhygienic.”

Couldn't care less, I thought before moving away slowly. Suddenly I gasped, swinging my legs. I was looking at the color of my nails when something came to mind. It just came to me out of the blue, I knew that if I didn't ask him now, I never would.

Turning around I moved closer, facing him. Jackson's brows were raised at my sudden body language change, but my mind was set on getting answers.

“I'll ask you straight out, have you ever spied on me? Like.. in the bathroom?” My cheeks turned bright red as words started slipping off my tongue.

And it was such a casual question, I thought he would immediately deny it and get it over with, but he didn't say anything for too long. I looked at him instinctively to see his smile.

“I always do.”

I blinked a couple times, his words not really registering in my head. Was he mocking?

“Don't make fun of me, I really saw you” I huffed with annoyance. Jackson was unfazed, still smiling and looking me in the eyes carelessly.

“Because I was actually standing there.”

I took a deep breath not believing him. He was lying like always, I knew him... or at least I thought so.

“You are a fucking prude, you certainly wouldn't do something that your lady wouldn't like.” My voice was full of mockery and amusement, but my brain was still in shock at his behaviour and words.

Jackson slowly began to unbutton his shirt. He didn't look at me, as if I wasn't even there.

“What are you doing?” I muttered as he removed it completely.

“When you undress in front of me, you don't make a problem out of it.” Jackson replied, not looking at me as he casually started stripping like it was an everyday thing. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Nobody said I was making an issue out of it.” Doing my best for my voice to come out unfazed, I couldn't help the low, hoarse edge to it.

“So you won't be offended if I take off my pants as well?”

I scratched the back of my neck at his.. question.

“If you're going to do this.” I sighed, pointing at the standing figure, now almost naked. “What's your point in doing this anyway?”

Jackson shrugged. His wider, athletic, firm body now on display. I did my best to keep my eyes on an appropriate level.

“I'm hot.”

I nodded, glaring at him. He sat down next to me and loosened his boxers at the crotch. It was the second time I noticed it, but I didn't look into it.

“You know.” I paused for a moment, thinking. “I’m hot too.”

I didn't know what was driving me when I simply took off my blouse. I was cold, but I was doing something that completely contradicted my reason. Then I took a seat on the left side of the bed and burrowed under the blanket.

“I think you should go now.” I murmured from beneath the cover. I could hear him clearing his throat as Jackson's blue eyes followed every single move of my body.

“Why?”

“Because it's inappropriate.”

He didn't move quickly. It took me a moment to see his massive back as he headed for the exit.

“Good night." he said before closing the door behind him.

Good night, what's wrong with him?

~~~

“Do you think pretending to be contrite will get his attention? Don't be ridiculous, I'll destroy you if you do something I don't like.”

“Jackson” I growled, turning the screen brighter so he could see. He looked at me from the kitchen “I want you to see something.”

I shoved my phone under his nose. He frowned as he read the first message I got when I got home from the hospital, and the second one this morning. Reading it, Jack sighed.

“I'll talk to her” Turning around he went back to making himself food. I sat there, dumbfounded and annoyed with his lack of reaction. After several weeks spent together he could be a little more empathetic.

“And that's it? You won't even react appropriately?”

Swiftly turning around once again, he crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow.

“How am I supposed to react?” The tone of his voice mocking more than anything else. I took a deep breath, smiling wryly at him.

“You could at least say she's a bitch and you'll deal with her.”

He looked at me, irritated.

“She's my girlfriend, it would probably be inappropriate.” I snorted, and shot right back, unable to hold back.

“But taking your pants off next to me wasn't?”

Jackson tensed so I could see it landed well, but he chose to ignore me, making me sigh.

“Don't blame me for the fact that your wedding plans are slowly disappearing.” Came from his lips suddenly.

I felt a lump in my throat.

“They are not. I called Harry today.” My voice was weaker than a couple seconds ago, but I spoke up with confidence. Jackson suddenly snorted, throwing the dirty fork into the sink and turning to face me as he leaned on the counter.

“How so?” I raised my eyebrows at the.. weird tone of voice he had asking this question. Accusatory almost.

I looked down, putting my phone in my pocket.

“His mother answered, and then—” I paused for a moment, wondering if I really wanted to tell him this. “—it occurred to me that I might want to postpone the wedding. I regretted getting that fucking phone back.”

He ran a hand through his hair before folding his arms across his chest.

“This is probably a matter between you and Harry, I shouldn't get involved.”

I looked him in the eyes for a second, nodding lightly.

*Yeah, you're right.” I shook my head. “I just wanted to tell you to do something about this fucking message and I'm also worried about whether the contract was signed. Was it?”

“Yes, I quickly signed it that evening.” He replied with an unreadable expression. I thought for a moment, his words ringing in my head. Quickly.

“Are you aware that you may have agreed to something inappropriate? Have you read it?” I asked quietly, knowing how silly it sounded to him as he's probably done thousands of such deals before. To my surprise, he shook his head.

“Of course not. You know, I'm a human and I actually felt sorry for you.” he pouted. “That's why I came here in the first place. To check on you.”

I had no idea whether his words were true, but the lighthearted approach was annoying nevertheless.

“I don't need you to feel sorry for me. As you can see I'm doing fine.” I snapped back, straightening my back and narrowing my eyes at him.

I leaned back in the chair, not knowing why I was still standing there. I had planned to leave him, but I wanted him to make me food as well, but obviously, he wouldn't agree so I didn't even bother asking. Although it didn't look like it would happen, he only put scrambled eggs on one plate.

“Would you like to go out today?” Jackson asked suddenly in a normal, genuine voice as he sat down in his seat, grabbing the cutlery. I licked my lips, feeling hungry.

“I'm not in the mood.” I murmured back, my eyes fixated on his breakfast.

“I was thinking about a… club, actually. I need to drink.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise as I took a clean fork out of the set and sat down next to him.

“You, my dear? Aren't you too good for a club and drinking?” I asked with a grin, getting a bite of his food.

He looked at me strangely as I simply scooped up a piece of egg and popped it into my mouth.

“Um, from now on, you make breakfast.” I muttered with a mouthful of his scrambled eggs. Looking at me, he sighed.

“You should have told me earlier, I would have cooked a double portion.” I chuckled.

“You have plenty of it, we'll both get full, for sure.” I waved my hand as I started eating, reaching for the rye bread. Rippner didn't make any movement at first, but later - seeing my full mouth - he slowly started eating. And I even shared the bread with him, he took a slice from me quite distrustfully, which made me roll my eyes.

Well, that was progress. We ate from one plate, two weeks ago he would have thrown me down the stairs for that. “Actually” I started, leaning against the back of the chair, stroking my round belly. “I could go with you. Unless your goblin steps in again, then I promise you that I'll cut off your balls and you'll never fuck again.”

“She's not supposed to know anything about it,” He stood up, carrying the dirty plate away. I gasped dramatically.

“Are you going to spite her again? What if she doesn't let you eat like the last time?” Jackson rolled his eyes at my words, taking a gulp of water from the glass.

“I came to the conclusion that I also need something.. fresher.”

My eyes widened at the sound of his words. Fresher? What the fuck could it mean coming from HIS mouth?

“What do you mean?” I frowned. Jack shrugged with a barely visible grin, raising his eyebrows.

“I've known her all my life, I don't know what it's like to have another girl.”

I exhaled with relief.

“You finally saw the light.” I sighed, raising my hands high, towards the heavens. “I'm proud of you.” My words were nothing but mockery and jokes, but Jackson just rolled his eyes.

Once again I noticed him loosening his pants at the crotch and mumbling something to me as he went away. I just shrugged wondering what I was going to wear to the club.

When I got ready, I wondered if I was doing the right thing by going there. Last night, I was almost assaulted but I tried not to think about it, and… trust him again this one time, as I left the apartment with Rippner. We arrived a few minutes later but not without my groaning again because of the loud music. After a few drinks, Jack clearly relaxed, and after a second order, I managed to drag him out onto the dance floor. He was a little tipsy, I was a little more, but we didn't spare each other insults when I'd accidentally step on his polished shoes.

It was after two AM when we decided to finally leave. A taxi took us to the apartment building, and then we went to the apartment.

“Damn heels, my feet hurt, do yours too?” I asked, doing my best to stay upright.

“Mhm” he mumbled back, not looking at me. I grimaced as I walked straight after Jackson across the tiles. I grabbed the back of his shirt as he climbed the stairs.

“Will you carry me?”

“No” I groaned with despair.

“You were supposed to say ‘mhm”

He didn't expect me to jump clumsily on his back, almost hitting my head against the wall. Luckily Jackson caught me just in time and, sighing heavily, carried me to the bedroom. I sprawled on the bed, mumbling strangely as my bones began to creak.

Only after a second I realised that Jackson was still standing in the doorway. Swaying on his feet slightly, he breathed deeply while looking at me.

“Don't puke in my room” I warned with a chuckle, but he didn't respond. The silence caused me to glance at him, and breath got stuck in my throat.

“Mhm” he murmured, taking his shirt off slowly. Jackson's eyes were half lidded, and I could see him looking.

“What are you doing? You're hot again?”

My words hung in the air that thickened so much, I could barely breathe. His drunken gaze was even more intense than usual. Jackson tilted his head to the side, grazing over my body.

“No,” he replied, taking a step forward. “Just calculating how much longer I can stand not fucking you.”

Breathless gasp pushed past my lips at his words, as I slowly sat up higher, suddenly feeling naked under his predatory gaze. I didn't even respond, just shaking my head slowly as our eyes locked onto each other. I slowly got on my shaky legs, taking a step back.

“We can't, Jack” I repeated, even though my face was already burning hot. I didn't know whether I loved, or hated the way he became now. So… intense. I was losing my mind.

“A-and Harry…” As soon as I started, I heard a huff coming from him before he pushed me against a wall.

His eyes were dark with anger, lust and the dark, heavy desire he felt at the moment. Without missing a beat he took a step forward, pushing my body at the wall as his lips crushed mine. Jackson's hands found their way to my shoulders, pressing harder against the hard surface as his tongue pushed past my lips, finding my own. I didn't get a chance to even think for a moment before kissing him back, hands gripping onto his muscular shoulders, movements so shaky and frantic that I almost couldn't breathe.

”I don't want to hear it.” Jackson breathed out as we parted for a moment, looking deep into his eyes I could see a reflection of my own. Dark, full of lust and need. “You want it, and I want it. So we'll have it.” He groaned, leaning down and biting on my neck hard, making me groan out loud. He gladly took the opportunity, lifting me up, and pushed me back onto the bed.

“You don't even love him.” He purred into my ear, rough hands travelling down my body, touching every inch of my hot skin before I could even process him being so close.

“Shut up” I hissed back, my nails digging deeper into his shoulder to cause some pain.

His hot, firm body pressing against my own with full weight, pushing further into the soft bed. I couldn't help but let out a sigh, feeling it, hands falling off his shoulders and spreading flat on the warm surface, attempting to find some release in the fire smouldering beneath my skin. His eyes were just as sharp from a little distance, more.. dangerous. Cutting into the skin, leaving open wounds that would keep bleeding unless he'd decide to smooth them out with his rough palms.

Jackson pulled my leathery pants down, panties ending up as a piece of material on the floor impossible to wear in the state they were in. Ripped to pieces.

”You don't look at him like that” His voice coming much lower, booming right into my ear, accompanied by the sound of his pants shuffling, zipper coming undone. Blood in my ears was so loud, I almost couldn't hear my own breath. It felt like an out of body experience.

My left hand moved into his hair again, tugging on the strands and making him lean down even more. His masculine, heavy scent was all I felt, surrounding my senses forcefully and relentlessly..

”You’re ruining everything. You.. you don't even know.” I stuttered out, breathing heavily, struggling to stay as he started leaving wet kisses on my skin. His possessive hands grabbing and groping every piece of skin he could get a hold of. A low chuckle followed by a laugh left his lips.

”Shhhhh” He cooed, while one of his hands lined up his hard, throbbing manhood with my entrance. His red tip rubbing against the wet folds, making me cringe from the pleasure I felt. ”That's what you need, isn't it? Should have come to me sooner.” Jack chuckled, his hips pushing forward with a sudden thrust, filling me up to the brim.

”Fuck!” I yelled out in a muffled voice. The fullness ripping a cry out of my throat. As soon as he started moving, my brain felt foggy. The way his girthy cock stretched me wide, moving back and forth and grinding at all the right spots made me feel vulnerable and unable to fight him longer. My head fell back onto his shoulder, little whimpers and cries leaving my mouth as my hands kept holding onto his hair and neck.

”That's a good girl. Be a good girl for me.” Jack whispered with a grin, the pace of his thrusts becoming more animalistic with each passing second.

”Jackson please!” I whimpered as another thrust went right up to my cervix, the big tip of his cock slamming against it. The pain and pleasure mixing into a foreign combination.. one too addicting to let go. Practically hammering the tip of his cock into my wet, warm heat was overwhelming. Not a single thought going through my head. Jackson's hands groping and squeezing every inch of my body he could reach, his lips and tongue licking on the small, bleeding wound he created on the side of my neck, Bruising and soothing at the same time, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Complete opposite of how rough he was.

One of his hands sneaked down, skilfully squeezing my breasts in the meantime, heading down the smooth skin until he'd reach my mound. Wet pussy getting pierced with every thrust, and his fingers pressed onto my clit indelicately, rubbing circles at a brutal pace.

”Come for me.” His demanding voice filled my ears, followed by the sensation of his tongue driving me crazy, licking and marking the skin on my neck. Jackson's hair fell forward a little, brushing against my sensitive skin with every thrust while he held my body firmly against the wall, preventing my legs from giving out. Subconsciously my shaky hands clamped on his neck, long nails digging into the skin on his throat and ripping a loud moan out of his mouth while his cock throbbed viciously inside me. ”Oh my god!” I groaned in a shaky voice, when the sound of his moan pushed me over the edge. The sudden orgasm that I single handedly has never been able to achieve with other men went through my body like lightning. Shocking every cell and paralysing me completely for a good moment but Jackson kept overstimulating me further, thrusting relentlessly into my pussy even though it was squeezing him like a vice. Tears started going down my face at the impossibly painful and pleasurable sensation and he watched, looking into my eyes with a barely visible grin. Not letting go and holding tight for several moments before I went completely brainless, on the mercy of him and his big cock stretching me so well.

”That's it” Jackson hissed, quickly pulling out and grabbing a fist of my hair, I hissed as my scalp burned when he pushed me down on my knees suddenly. His cock just centimetres away from my lips while his face twisted into strong pleasure, blue eyes falling shut while Jack kept stroking his dick at a crazy pace. After a couple seconds finally, thick ropes of cum shot out from his tip, landing on my face. His facial expression and the way he stroked himself looked like a scene from the best porno, and I couldn't help but moan as his essence hit my skin. My jaw just fell slack open. Catching some of his cum I wasn't thinking, mind still foggy after this heated and sudden encounter.

He kept pumping until there was nothing coming out anymore. My face covered, eyes staring blank on his face. Jackson sighed deeply, letting go of his still hard manhood, using his own shirt as a towel before running a hand through his hair. Crouching down in front of me he pushed a stray lock of hair away from my face before grabbing my jaw.

“Much better. So pretty.” He purred, petting my red cheek for a moment before pulling me up on my feet, and back into bed, wrapping his arm around my waist.

“Oh my god” I eventually said, after the realisation settled and my brain started working. Aching between my legs present like never before.

“Quiet, woman. Some people want to sleep” He groaned with annoyance, and I couldn't believe he was the same man who just railed me into oblivion.

Like and comment for more please!

UNTIL YOU COME BACK HOME

Jackson Rippner x Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Warning: smut, angst, comfort

A/N: I'll get back to writing more chapters soon. For now, have this oneshot. Please Interact and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

“Oh god, Jackson!” Y/n gasped as soon as she saw him through the peephole in the door. Moving as quickly as possible, she swung the door open, pouncing forward to get a hold of him.

He stood there, his breathing shallow and rugged. White button up shirt ripped on his shoulder, revealing the bleeding wound. The material surrounding it was covered in crimson red. His hair sweaty, beads dripping down his face as he barely kept his blue, cloudy eyes open.

“Y/n” he mumbled, taking a heavy step forward as he grabbed onto her shoulders. She huffed as he put his weight on her, and with some struggle they managed to both get inside as she kicked the door shut.

Hundreds and thousands of thoughts ran through her head as she helped him to the living room where he mindlessly slumped on the couch.

“Wait here” she murmured, rushing to the bathroom for the first aid kit that was quite… advanced ever since she met him. Grabbing the necessities, Y/n quickly moved back to the living room, putting it all on the table with her shaky hands. He looked barely conscious and her heart was pounding like crazy as she took his shirt off to make sure that the visible injuries were the only ones on him.

He kept mumbling something every now and then but she didn't listen, instead she focused on stopping the bleeding from his shoulder and stitching him back up.

Breathing deeply, Y/n tried her best to get her hands more steady as she did her very best to ensure he'd be… better than whatever state she found him in.

Two hours and some tears later, Jackson was settled in her own bed, wearing only briefs and breathing heavily. She wiped her face while glancing at the clock only then realising how late it was. Jackson was completely out of it, and from the look of it, he would be for several more hours because of the medicine she gave him. The medicine he needed to ensure his wound wouldn't get infected.

Y/n was aware of his job, and it was one of the biggest factors of why she decided to never let their relationship move forward. Just sex, they said before. She couldn't afford getting her heart broken.

His lips said one thing, and his actions showed another, she thought. She wrapped her arms around his waist as she hugged his back lightly, her cheek pressing to his hot skin. Only for now, it was safe to do so. He was unconscious, so he wouldn't make a fuss about it. The closeness with lack of any sexual intentions. Intimacy. Comfort.

As expected, Jackson slept for a long time before eventually waking up, a little past 7 PM the next day.

She managed to clean up her bathroom and couch from his blood, getting her apartment to become squeaky clean because of the anxiety she was feeling. Y/n tried to be productive instead of impatiently waiting at him and biting her nails.

“Y/n” He said in a hoarse, husky voice before grimacing slightly because of the dryness and pain in his throat. Hearing him, she jumped a little, clearly startled as her book fell on the floor with a thud.

“Oh shit, you scared me.” Y/n said, with a hand on her chest as she eyed him quickly before getting up to get a glass of water for him, hearing the state of his throat. “How are you feeling?” She asked quietly after handing him the glass. Her brows slightly furrowed at his unusually pale skin.

“As wonderful as I look” He replied with a scoff after drinking the water and setting the glass aside with a groan.

“You were really hurt this time.” She started quietly, fidgeting with her fingers for a moment as she kept looking at him. “You’ve been asleep for over twenty four hours, Jackson. You—you need to tell me what happened.” She says eventually, crossing her arms over her chest as her frustration grew. She knew how unhappy he was whenever she'd ask questions, and Y/n liked his presence too much to risk losing him over that. So she wouldn't ask, not usually, but this time was different. It was too big to pretend like it didn't happen.

His pale, blue eyes avoided looking directly into hers as he let out a deep breath. His frame was tense.

“Don't act stupid, you know damn well what I do for a living, sweetheart.” He replied. “It's not always all rainbows and flowers.” The sarcasm smoothly made its way down his tongue, as always, seemed like. Y/n got used to the fact Jackson was fluent in this particular thing.

Hearing his tone her body tensed in a combative manner. Squeezing her first, she pointed at him with the other, shaking hand.

“Don't you fucking dare talk to me this way after I spent my whole night stitching you up, preventing you from bleeding out, and barely closing my eyes to make sure you were bloody alive!” Her voice shook slightly every now and then as she tried to stand her ground against him. “It's YOUR work to do… all that, but is it my work to always stitch you up afterwards? Why the hell do you come here since I don't deserve even a brief explanation?” She demanded to know, looking intently at him as she wrapped her arms around herself for some, much needed at the moment, comfort.

Jackson tilted his head slightly, raising his chin as he finally looked her in the eyes. His facial expression was impossible to read, as always.

But the one thing she was perfect at, was reading his eyes. Ever since day one, Jackson would always try to avoid eye contact in such situations. Even though his stare never failed before, and he was going through life thinking he mastered it.

Well, maybe he did. Y/n was the only one who saw more in his bright, storm and tempest filled eyes. So he'd purposely put a wall between the two of them. She knew him too well to believe in the theatrics he was so prone to use on people.

“Your apartment was the closest place I could think of at the moment. It's not that deep.” His voice was low and emotionless, husky from the lack of usage in the last twenty four hours but he managed to keep up the eye contact for just a few seconds before looking away.

Yet, it hurt her. Sighing deeply, she shook her head and made her way to the kitchen as Jackson slowly got up from her bed.

Looking around for his pants, he ran a hand through his hair with a groan. The one thing he could admit to himself was that seeing disappointment in her eyes wasn't… nice. It didn't feel good.

“So… when can I see you now?” He asked casually, trying to break the tension after a couple minutes, thinking that she just gave up asking him questions like always, after he'd shut her down.

The silence hung in the air for a longer moment, charged with unsaid words and buzzing emotions. Y/n was tired, visibly and mentally.

“Don't come here anymore, Jack. I can't do it.”

A quiet voice came from the kitchen, making his heart stop for a moment and his eyes to widen. Turning around he walked up to her, leaning on the counter.

“Come on, you're not mad at me, are you?” He asked, raising his eyebrows, not understanding the vulnerable expressions on her face, which she never hid. Y/n wasn't scared to be vulnerable with her feelings around him, which was always a source of conflicted emotions within himself.

With a resigned sigh, she put the knife and veggies down, looking up at him.

“No, it's… it's more than that. I just can't do what you're expecting of me.” She started, shaking her head a little. “Just—just fuck you, and then, then take care of you and never care enough to ask. I can't do that. It's—it's not me, I'm sorry.” The way her body language changed, the vulnerability and raw hurt in her voice made the annoyingly painful feeling gnaw at this one spot in his chest. He didn't know what to say for a moment before turning around and walking a couple steps through her living room. Anger and confusion grew in his head, as the only real emotions he knew so well. Hand tugging on his hair as he let out a humourless laugh.

“You don't mean it. We're just—just arguing again.” He said, trying to convince either her or himself, but the feeling of dread already settled between his ribs. His voice came out louder than intended, accusing even.

As the response didn't come, he turned around again facing her. Taking a couple fast steps he winced at the sharp pain in his shoulder.

“What do you want me to say, Y/n? We talked about it before, I— fucking can't tell you anything!” He said with sharp anger bubbling beneath the surface.

“Jackson, I said I get it! I just can't do what you want me to!” She exclaimed, her voice an octave higher than usually at his sudden outburst. She felt panicked with what was happening. With the idea of never seeing him again, and with what she was feeling at the moment. The feelings accompanying her were much more complex than she'd like them to be.

“Then why are you so fucking dramatic about it!” He continued pacing back and forth, not handling the situation very well, or picking up on the irony of his words.

Y/n raised her eyebrows with a scoff.

“Me? I'm just breaking it off, Jackson. You are the one yelling at me and running around my living room.” She pointed out, keeping the pain hidden away. For now.

He stopped in his tracks immediately as she called him out on the frantic behaviour.

“I wouldn't if you weren't like… this!” He spat out, his blue eyes filled with coldness and anger. The sudden motion as he swung his arm, caused the stitches to rip and blood started dripping down his arm. “Fuck!”

Y/n’s eyes widened immediately.

“Jack, calm down! Your arm!” She squealed, making him raise his eyebrows in surprise. Her hand grasped his bigger one as she pulled him to the bathroom, pushing him to sit on the edge of the bathtub. It was a fairly small room, with not much space after he'd fill it out with his wide frame, so without a second thought she slumped on his lap.

He sat here wordlessly, the combative facial expression still decorating his handsome face as she worked on the wound, cleansing it before getting to the stitching.

He didn't make a sound until the last stitch, when he suddenly let out a loud hiss at the particularly painful movement of the needle in his skin.

“Sorry” she said quietly out of habit. “You need to stop thrashing like a wild animal for the next few days.” Y/n added, concerned with his state.

Jackson scoffed, tensing as he looked in her eyes accusingly.

“Don't tell me what to do. You dumped me.” His voice was low and grumbly, still carrying some anger in it, but the way he put it made Y/n let out a giggle uncontrollably. His gaze softened slightly. He sounded like an offended child.

“As far as I know, we weren't together, Jackson.” Her voice was more playful than anything as she finished the stitching, putting the tools aside. Caressing the skin on his arm, Y/n sighed.

Jackson kept looking at her with a lump forming in his throat. After a minute he broke the silence.

“I don't know what you want me to say, but you won’t hear…” He started before clearing his throat, unsure of what words to use. Of how to explain.”—hear THAT from me, Y/n. I just can't.” He said quietly, his hands holding her hips, thumbs rubbing little circles on her soft skin. The silence settled in the air again, as she felt he wasn't finished just yet. Just needed some more time to recollect his words. “...but I don't want to not see you anymore.” He sounded weaker than ever, more… vulnerable. The trait she wanted to see in him so badly, making her heart soften in an instant.

Feeling the surge of hope rushing through her veins, she raised her hands to his face, tilting his head up so her eyes would meet his. Her eyes were– bright again, Jackson noticed subconsciously.

“You don't want to lose me.” She stated with confidence, knowing what he meant. Jackson neither denied nor confirmed, sighing deeply as he squeezed his eyes shut. “Say it.” She demanded, caressing his skin and as soon as he looked again, searching his blue eyes for anything that would show her she was wrong. She didn't find anything.

He took a deep breath, his fingers digging into her skin harder.

“I don't want to lose you.” He repeated, sounding like the words almost drowned him, but he knew it was a turning point. Jack knew she was – patient and understanding. It would be enough. They stared at each other for a longer moment before she touched his cheek with a little chuckle.

Seeing her eyes so shiny and cheeks blushed, Jackson regretted he didn't say it sooner. It took a lot, but it was worth it. Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead against hers.

“What's so funny?” He scoffed playfully, looking at her lips with a deep breath.

Y/n leaned in, kissing him in a way that took his breath away for a mere moment making him forget who they were. Who he was. A way that she wouldn't dare to kiss him before.

“Stubborn man” she let out with a sigh after pulling away.

Only then did she get up, pulling him back to the bedroom deciding that she'd force him to rest if he wouldn't agree right away.

***

Slowly opening her eyes, Y/n wiped her face with a yawn before she noticed he was awake. The admirably blue eyes looked at her halfway open with a smirk, and for a second she got mad at him for never staying the whole night before. The view was wonderful.

“Hi” She said with a chuckle, making him raise his eyebrow in amusement.

“Hi,” He replied, pulling her closer. Her dishevelled state made her even more attractive than usual, in a completely different way. It was a way that Jackson never looked at other women before which was a little scary, but well. He was way too sleepy to think about it now. With his own eyes barely open and vulnerable as never before, he let out a chuckle. It felt so easy at the moment, like he wasn't a killer without any actual identity. Like he had a chance for a life with the beautiful woman by his side.

Stretching with a groan he shifted to the side, being fairly careful with his injured shoulder. Jackson's hand landed on Y/n’s bare hip as her shirt shifted up, revealing her pale skin. She opened her eyes again, glancing at him as she heard the throaty purr coming from his mouth.

“Jackson” She warned with a giggle, knowing his intentions too well. “You're–” She started, but before she'd manage to finish, he flipped her on her back, hanging over her like a thundercloud. “–injured.” Her voice was defeated with an undertone of humour at his mischievous doings.

“Still healthy enough.” He replied, leaning down and grazing his nose over her neck. After two years of seeing only her, he wasn't able to prevent associating her scent with something– familiar.

Home

Pressed so tightly against her, Jackson felt the familiar stirring in his lower stomach, making him sigh deeply. His warm breath wrapped itself around her skin, making her shiver with delight. He leaned down, biting onto her neck lightly as his hands began stripping her of the pajama pants she was wearing.

She let it happen, until she didn't. Her smaller hand getting a hold of his wrist.

“In my way.” She said, turning her head to meet his eyes. “My way or not at all. Your stitches will probably burst again if I agree to do it the usual way.” She said with a voice that allowed no opposition. That was a voice he rarely heard, but the feisty look in her eyes was clear. She wouldn't bend under his will because she cared about his health.

With a loud, dramatic sigh he slumped on the bed, giving up. Seeing it, Y/n chuckled, raising her brows. Pointing at the tent in his underwear, she asked.

“So you need help with that or not?” Her voice was full of amusement and clear lighthearted mockery. Jackson's eyes immediately shifted to her face.

“Don't push it before I change my mind” he grumbled with a hidden smirk, making her laugh out louder as she got up, pulling her underwear down all the way before she straddled his hips.

Her soft hand began travelling down his chest, tracing every inch of his skin, appreciating the masculine firmness to him. The sensation of his muscles against her delicate fingers.

The air in the room immediately shifted, and Jackson's expression changed. His brows slightly furrowed, as he watched her actions. He was clearly confused, never touched with such intention before in his life. His muscles tensed beneath her fingers, almost expecting pain to come any second now.

Violence was all he knew. She understood it, but it nevertheless broke her heart a little bit.

Looking him in the eyes, she leaned forward, her lips following the path her fingers travelled. She left little kisses on each scar and imperfection she encountered.

Jackson wasn't sure what he felt. Whether he liked it or not, he was more confused than ever before. That's why when she reached the V on his lower stomach, still kissing, he rose up slightly.

“Don't” he said quietly. The atmosphere was so intimate and vulnerable, that for once in his life, he didn't feel up to being pleasured in such a way. He already let her do too much, Jackson thought.

Y/n looked up, meeting his bright eyes with her own. The tension and– fear on his face was visible for the first time since she ever met him.

Nodding lightly, she came back up, kissing him passionately as her hands worked on his underwear, pulling it down and stroking his hard length. Deep groans pushed past his lips with each move as his eyes fell shut. He looked more beautiful than ever, Y/n thought seeing him then.

Only the sensation of her warmth engulfing his manhood brought Jackson back, making him open his eyes and letting his jaw fall open.

“Fuck” he gasped, as she leaned back, supporting herself by holding onto his stomach, not forgetting about his injury.

His hands gripped onto her hips. Still sitting up, Jackson tried moving her on top of his hips to get her to move faster, but Y/n wasn't having any of it. Pushing him back, she leaned forward and captured his lips in a searing kiss while she sensually moved. She was in no rush. Y/n enjoyed every sensation the connection between them was giving her. The slow pace was making him more sensitive to their surroundings than the usual frantic rhythm. The sound of her quiet sighs and whimpers filled his ears like the most beautiful melody. The way her face gave away the all-consuming bliss she experienced from how he felt inside her, but also from how… close they were. Jackson felt like he was slipping. The situation was getting out of control as his mind started spiralling into the vulnerability, which he desperately didn't want to happen.

Looking up, he noticed Y/n watching his face intently, her mouth slightly open as she moved to her own rhythm. Her breasts swayed with each movement before she leaned down, kissing all over his neck while her hands travelled around his collarbones, caressing his skin.

Wordlessly Jackson's bigger hand slowly grabbed hers, moving it up towards his throat, wrapping it suggestively with a certain look in his eyes. Y/n knew.

Of course she did.

With a quiet sigh, she shook her head lightly, moving upwards to his cheek, the gentle touch sending shockwaves down his spine as she watched him with care and gentleness he never experienced.

Covering her hand with his own, Jackson sat up lightly, moving her closer. He didn't fight it anymore.

“You're so beautiful” He breathed out, wrapping his arm around her waist and capturing her lips in a deep, sensual dance as she caressed his hair. They both seemed to get lost in the sensations, drowning in each other's presence without any will or need to seek saving.

As Y/n squeezed her eyes, her body tensing on top of his, Jackson knew she was coming. Leaning his forehead on her collarbone, he followed right after. For the first time in his life, he realised that the way she held him felt even better than the most amazing orgasm he ever experienced.

…and just like that, Jackson knew he’d stay the night, and countless more.

Because even if he couldn't name or say it, he knew the reason why he would keep coming back.

***

Taglist: @lau219 @xsweetcatastrophe

Absolutely him

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

Teenage!Tommy Shelby x Teenage!Reader

Summary: One kiss and plenty of definitions to the meaning of it. Did it even have one? Y/N and Tommy seem to have different opinions on the matter.

Warnings: a bit of angst, swearing, violence, jealousy

A/N: interact please!!

~~

"Aren't you mad?! He was... Standing so close to her! How dare he!" Eleanor everything but yelled, pacing back and forth in her bedroom after she watched through the window how the middle Shelby brother chatted with Margaret on the street, while she was almost all over him. El was red from anger, hating when someone disrespected her dearest friend. Y/N on the other hand was sitting by the vanity table, curling her hair and sighing deeply at Eleanor's words.

"Well... We're not together, he's free to do whatever he pleases." She replied, trying to keep her voice in a stable line. Hearing her friend's dramatic gasp, she rolled her eyes and turned around to face her. "El, I'm serious."

"but he kissed you! Just four days ago! How can you not be angry?" She asked with disbelief, but Y/N shook her head and grabbed her hands.

"El, let's just enjoy this night out, okay? You know my father's not fond of letting me go often. And maybe, just maybe we'll show him what he lost, hmm?" She suggested, trying to soothe Eleanor's anger a little.

The other girl just sighed, fixing her hair in the mirror for the last time before glancing back at Y/N.

"Okay. Let's show him"

Less than twenty minutes later they got to the destination.

As soon as they arrived at Y/N father's pub, all guests started nodding with respect, knowing what her surname was, and that she was not to be messed with. Shortly after arriving both girls got their drinks even though it was illegal to sell them to women without a man by their side, yet the bartender knew better than to argue. Irish music was playing loudly, and people mostly danced, drank and laughed loudly, having a great time.

Y/N's and Eleanor's friends already took a seat by the big table, greeting them happily. Time was passing quickly, half an hour later a group of boys barged in, knowing them as the local troublemakers. Mostly Shelby's.

Eleanor immediately glanced at Y/N giving her a silent nod as she went ahead to grab more drinks. Y/N herself couldn't complain about boredom, especially because she caught the eye of David, a boy who was a year older, going to the same school as she was. He was kind and mostly a gentleman. Even though the glances he was sending her cleavage didn't go unnoticed.

He was smart, despite his little self obsession. Talking about his hobbies, asking about hers occasionally, but mostly she was nodding along. Y/N was well aware of Thomas' presence in the pub, so when David started leaning in for a kiss eventually, she also did. Letting out a quiet sigh in anticipation she braced herself for the kiss... That never came.

Instead, she could hear a loud thump of a body hitting the floor and as soon as she opened her eyes, she saw Tommy standing above David, giving him some solid bruises. Her eyes widened with another delivered punch, when the weaker boy's nose cracked.

"Tommy!" She squealed, pulling on his arm. He ignored her for a minute, only when she yelled again did he notice her holding him. As he looked back, she pulled him out of the pub immediately.

"What the fuck are you doing! Are ya mad?!" She yelled, punching him in the chest. He furrowed his brows angrily.

"Me?! What was THAT!" He pointed at the door, leaning down to her level so they could argue properly.

"What?" She asked, playing dumb. Y/N was quite a little actress. He groaned with annoyance, running a hand through his hair before looking back at her.

"I thought we were dating but–but you were.. all over him!" He said in an accusatory tone, pointing at her. Y/N gasped at the gesture, swatting his hand away.

"We're not dating!" She responded in a confident voice, looking into his eyes for a reaction. He glared at her for a second before huffing in anger.

"We bloody kissed! I kissed you!"

"it was just ONE kiss, Tommy! It happens!" She tried to convince both him and herself, keeping her cool almost too well.

He on the other hand folded his arms across his chest, taking a step forward.

"It was just one kiss?" Thomas repeated dumbly, and she nodded in an affirming way. He didn't say a word for a long moment and when Y/N glared at him with disappointment and grabbed the material of her longer dress to lift it and walk away, he stepped forward again.

Before she could react, his big, bloody hands got a hold of her cheek, pressing his lips against hers again, but this time the kiss was longer and he held her closer. More confident.

"There" He eventually said, slightly pulling away and looking down at her, still holding her cheeks. "Two kisses now. Now we're datin'" He said in a voice that does not indicate any opposition. Y/N's cheeks grew hot and it took her a second to collect her thoughts before he sighed with annoyance.

"Suddenly want to date now, do you? In the morning you were all over Margaret!" She said, pushing him away with renewed anger, pushing her hair out of her eyes. Tommy didn't let her step away though, grabbing her hands and pulling her back, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding them there.

"John broke her glasses." He said, caressing her cheek with a slight grin. "I was asking her to not tell on him to her mum, you know, Mrs Lanchester. Our teacher." He explained calmly, grabbing her chin and making sure she was looking in his eyes.

"Oh..." Y/N said, blushing even harder, causing him to smirk, to which she punched him again lightly. "Don't smile like that, Shelby!"

Thomas grabbed her hands, leaning down to kiss her knuckles as he smiled again, before leaning forward and stealing another kiss.

"Is three kisses enough to consider us dating or should I keep kissing you some more?" He asked, his blue eyes glistening with mischief and the feelings he held for her.

~~

"...later he went to war, and I waited. When your father came back, we got married. End of the story." Y/N said, blushing as she glanced towards her husband. Thomas was wearing his mischievous grin, while kids giggled in the background.

"Dad punched that guy!" Twelve year old William chuckled, and little George just cheered along with his older brother.

"He was a cunt anyway" Tommy mumbled, and Y/N shoved him lightly.

"Language!" She said scolded, putting a hand on his thigh under the table. "David was just... Being nice." She responded, to which her husband raised his eyebrows in annoyance.

"Shush, woman" He said, giving her a demanding kiss.

"Oh, stop it!" Fifteen year old Madeline groaned with disgust. "Tell me more instead! How did he ask you to marry him, mum?" She asked curiously.

"Well. He took me to a very special place, fell on one knee... And asked me." Y/N added, smiling wildly at the memory.

"...at least this time he asked." Madeline said with irony, smiling mischievously towards her dad, in the exact same way he usually did.

"Watch it" He warned jokingly.

"Better late than ever" Y/N said, squeezing her husband's thigh and looking at him with love.

Leave comments guys, let me know if I should continue with this or maybe not!

LOVE YOU WITH MY EYES CLOSED

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Part one Part two Part three

Summary: At a young age Y/N was given away for marriage, years later the dust began to settle and her life caught a rhythm she stopped fighting. Is Tommy, the man she once knew too well, ready to play along and let her go once again?

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: depression, heartache, mental and physical abuse

A/N: Slow introduction, next chapter will pick up on pace. Enjoy

Coming back to Birmingham ignited more mixed feelings than Y/N expected it ever would. Pushing through the difficult changes back in the day caused her to stomach so much pain and.. distress at the inability to make her own choices. She thought there was nothing in her to cause fear anymore.

A weird kind of fear it was, this time. Looking out the window as the train plummeted through the fields, shaking and groaning under the weight of people all heading to the city she couldn't shake off. Four years passed so quickly, in a pace she didn't understand when she looked back at the first months of constant struggle she endured. Leaving everything behind. Becoming nothing more than a tool to life of.. prosperity for her family.

She fought it for so long, back then. Much to her father's misunderstanding, her unbreakable spirit made everything so much more difficult.

Yet eventually everything must come to an end though, in a reality where her value was tightly connected with how pretty she was, and how aesthetically pleasing she looked, hanging on the arm of a man she barely knew.

It was much easier to ignore from the distance, but the closer she got to Birmingham, more wounds began reopening, hurting and itching despite her neutral expression and unmoving figure.

One of his hands rested on her thigh, the other one holding a newspaper. The lack of communication was nothing short of normal between them. After all, when nobody was around, they didn't have to pretend as much. Nickolas Winterbourne, a man coming from a life where nothing ever ran out, where pantries were never empty and clothes never dirty. He existed in a controlled environment snuggly clothed in money at every corner, shielding him from any difficulties life planned to throw his way - unaffected by the simple disdain of modern times they happened to live in.

For what it was worth, Y/N considered herself lucky. He was… polite, usually gentle which was way more than she could have ever asked for from people in his social class. His hands were smooth, untainted by physical labour that he never had to do. His disposition contradicted his father's, a man purely self-absorbed and cruel with one purpose – wealth.

Y/N was grateful for the person he was deep down, even though he was forcing her into situations they could avoid, yet rarely violating her physically or mentally.

Nickolas was… indifferent. His demeanour calm, collected and bordering on bored most of the time. His eyes looked at her with a never ending patience and neutrality she grew to appreciate, after watching the way many of his brothers treated their own wives. She was lucky.

The mindset she worked so hard to build, throwing away the values she dreamed of as a little girl, the warm dreams of having a loving marriage with several kids, conversations that would seem to go on forever sprinkled with tender kisses on the forehead and warm touches that would warm her up on cold nights. She exchanged those hopes for expensive dresses and a mansion much too big for any amount of wood to warm. There were continual expensive dinners and meaningless conversations with people she wouldn't care to see ever again with fake seemingly polite smiles. These people never stopped beckoning for their service, acting like the simple action of pouring themselves tea was too much to burden their minds with.

So she was grateful, playing along with the quick pace of life they had. Dressing up quickly, perfecting the empty smile she got used to wearing on a daily basis.

“Be grateful, because you could have had it much worse” she mentally repeated to herself.

A soft squeeze of his hand tore her out of her thoughts, his brown eyes watching her patiently. He witnessed the difficulties she struggled with back then. So her silence rang louder than ever.

”We will spend two days in Birmingham and be back on our way. Tomorrow is the day of the gala, and the day after you will spend on your own matters.” He spoke quietly, reading the troubling emotions in her eyes. He always saw through the mask of neutrality he taught her how to wear like her second skin: a mutual understanding.

Her eyes slowly followed along the lines of his face, finally settling on holding eye contact. Slowly nodding, she covered his hand with her own before forcing out a small smile.

”Thank you” She responded, straightening her back before the train started slowing down before coming to a full stop.

Patting her thigh for the last time, he pulled away.

”Come on. It's time to go”

~~

After getting out of the train, Y/N watched how after stepping out her boots immediately covered in mud.

Some things never changed, she thought with a smile as the scent of smoke filled her nostrils.

”Christ” Nickolas muttered, his face twisting in disgust. Birmingham was nothing like the London they were used to, first expression of the city obnoxiously underwhelming for Winterbourne.

Standing by the road sign they waited for a moment before the designated car pulled up, halting by their feet as the driver opened the door, offering to help in packing the luggage.

Y/N seemed distraught, looking around as she immediately recognized the streets despite small differences and the fact she didn't leave even remotely close back then. A city centre it was, fair distance from Small Heath. A place she used to call home.

”Come on, get in the car” Nickolas whispered, noticing her distracted gaze, grabbing her arm lightly and nudging her towards the vehicle, bringing her out of memories thick like smoke. Looking at him she nodded, obediently getting inside before the car took them to the hotel.

One she had never been in before. This whole situation felt suffocating in ways so weird, she was barely able to look him in the eyes. Even as they moved to the building, getting all the formalities done she couldn't help but let her mind wander towards the ghosts of her past.

Loud, obnoxious laugh filled her head bringing a little smile on her red lips. One that definitely belonged to John, his eyes glimmering with mischief like most of the time. Through the eyes of imagination she saw Ada's long, dark hair she constantly complained about, sighing dramatically in a way that never ceased to make Y/N roll her eyes. Suffering from success, she used to call it, teasing her friend with whom she grew up so close.

A sound came to her ears as lift brought them to the right level, she moved seemingly on an autopilot when her husband fumbled with keys, looking for the right one.

As the door swung open she let out a silent sigh as she remembered. The memory she worked on suppressing so long caught up randomly, big, blue eyes surrounded by thick, dark eyelashes. Colour so dynamic, swiftly changing with the feeling simmering beneath his tough exterior, yet always so bright and clear when he looked at her. She felt like she saw him for the first time, despite it being nothing but her exterior shell shattering at the unwanted memories flooding back in.

Suddenly, she felt out of breath and barely an hour after checking into the hotel, she was in bed facing away from Nickolas. The wall she put up between them nearing the height of one he tried to shatter after getting to know the girl. She seemed so small as she lay on her side, every inch of her body hidden under covers. Hair scattered on the pillow, keeping his gaze away from her features.

They just got here, and he was already losing, Nickolas thought, before remembering the small detail that could shatter his reality if ease if looked into.

”Goodnight” He whispered, pressing a kiss onto her shoulder before turning away and giving her space as the lights went out.

It was only so long he could bend reality to his will, he thought, before closing his eyes and allowing Morpheus' embrace to swallow him up.

In contrast to him, Y/N didn't fall asleep once. The unknown anticipation swirled around in her stomach, pushing her even further away from the man sleeping by her side. Something was coming, and she knew it.

~~

”Do you really trust what you're saying?” Her voice came to his ears, quieter, less confident than usually she'd speak to him.

Leaning forward on his arms, he let his head drop in defeat for a moment before lifting him up. Strong, unyielding gaze meeting her worried, slightly anxious eyes.

Her position in the family and in company made her learn how to deal with emotions on her own for years.. which was never an issue. Woman could only be so vulnerable after raising that many kids and protecting them from the disgusting reality with her fragile hands and soul on her shoulder. But she managed.

So the rare vulnerability she displayed that evening, looking in her nephew's eyes was nothing short of special. The string of responsibility connecting them in ways none of his siblings would understand.

Staring blankly for a moment, he ended up nodding.

”I know, Polly.” He spoke up, his voice heavy with exhaustion and the fear he tried to bury somewhere between his ribs, to never be seen again. But it was there, alive as ever, making his heart thump in an unnatural rhythm. Reminding him of one of survival. Desperate attempts to stick to life even when the dirty earth in the tunnels tried to swallow him alive.

”You need to trust me when I say things will go back to normal. I waited for long enough.” His voice came out sharper than he'd like it to. Blue eyes soothing the damage his voice has done and Polly understood.

Being a witness to the struggles he faced on daily, responsibilities piling on him like layers of clothing, giving no space to grieve the loss of someone who was never supposed to be gone.

…and so he didn't. Instead building an empire on his bitterness and pain, trusting that… whatever was up there would provide if it was meant to be.

That day for once in his life Thomas wanted to pray.

~~

“You need to pick up your pace, Y/N. We can't afford to be late to such an event.” Nickolas snapped, his usually calm and collected demeanour dishevelled with stress as he watched time ticking away on his watch.

She didn't sleep, almost at all. Putting on the mask was more difficult than usual, having to layer the makeup on her tired face, exhausted eyes. The years of struggles managed to catch up in the nine hours she spent on trying to fall asleep. Dreamless nights and loveless days connected with the anticipation in her stomach making it impossible to close her eyes.

”What will they think of us if we show up late, Y/N?” He shot once again watching her movements with his chin higher than he usually carried.

In moments of distress Y/N saw his father in him, usually perfectly hidden away lack of spine showing through the wounds of what the perfect life did to him. Minor inconvenience making him furious.

”Put on your jacket and smoke a cigarette, Nickolas. By the time you're done I will be waiting.” She responded in a neutral way, already taught to not feed into his bitterness in such situations. Not because he was right, but rather to avoid making him cranky as he would surely ruin her already difficult evening.

Watching her with contempt for a moment, he let out a heavy breath before stepping away.

”Five minutes or you will walk there. I'm not going to be late because of your irresponsibility.” His voice faded with the distance growing between them.

Y/N sighed looking at her reflection.

A man that was never supposed to be a husband.

All eyes were on them as soon as they arrived. Y/N smiled, nodding along to the people she saw for the first time as they spoke to Nickolas. She was to not speak unless spoken to, Mr. Winterbourne taught her four years ago. Smile, look pretty and watch your husband. Be attentive and elegant at all times.

Entering the event took them about fifteen minutes with all the pleasantries Nick kept giving away to his associates. Deep down she hated it. The constant need to pretend, not a single movement one of her own.

”Mr. Winterbourne!” A voice came from behind their back as they walked into the main room. An older man with jet-black hair approached quickly, his arm wrapped around the waist of his wife. Glancing at her, they exchanged a joyful look before standing right by Y/N. “Long time no see” His voice was low, but not threatening. Something about the tall and broad man was inviting, friendly.

”Indeed, it's been a long while.” Nick responded, straightening his back before greeting the older woman, getting a hold of her hand gently and kissing the temple. ”How is life treating you, Sir?” His tone mannered and calm, just like always whenever he was in a public eye. After getting a response, he began talking about the details of the gala before the woman suddenly interrupted him.

”...and who is this beautiful woman?” She spoke completely relaxed to which Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. If she interrupted her husband or any man he was currently talking to in such a manner, she'd get severely punished if not slapped at the spot. Nicholas raised his eyebrow but quickly put on a collected exterior again.

”This is my wife, Y/N” He introduced her, slightly embarrassed that he forgot to do so in the first place. What would they think of him? The older man reflected, kissing her temple with a smile and his wife took her hand in her own.

”Oh, I see” She said, looking at the ring on her finger. ”Absolutely beautiful, how about we get something to drink while men talk about the important matters?” She suggested light-heartedly, winking at her husband who chuckled, shaking his head before giving a simple nod.

”Great idea. I will find you in just a few moments, Precious.”

The way their interactions took place made Y/N truly shocked, she's never seen such behaviour among people in their class before. Were people of Birmingham different than them?

Waiting for his approval obediently Y/N only moved when he gave her a stern nod, clearly not pleased with his own performance, yet he would never admit it.

His behaviour was different this time, she could clearly see it. He was more emotional in the wrong way, every little detail making him visibly angry.

”I’m Meredith” The seemingly fourty year old woman stated, glancing at Y/N sideways. ”You seem to love these kind of events, don't you?” She joked, seeing the way Y/N’s smile dropped as soon as they turned away from their husbands. Internally she panicked hearing the elegant woman's remark, her eyes widening with fear. ”Oh, no worries. We're on the same page… besides. They serve really good drinks, so soon enough it will be bearable.” The tone of her voice was light and amusing as she gave Y/N a little shove. Her demeanor was relaxed and open, matching her husband's which was… refreshing.

”Better get to it then” She mustered a smile in response.

To be fair, time did start passing faster as they settled by the table, slowly sipping on tasteful drinks and talking in a way that allowed Y/N feel much less comfortable than she was at first. A breath of fresh air.

”We’re local. My husband, Christopher, is the owner of several businesses passed down through the family. That's how he knows Winterbournes.” She explained eventually before leaning in closer. ”He doesn't get along well with your father in law. Tradition and peace are the only things keeping them tied together.”

Y/N listened carefully, appreciating that after a couple drinks Meredith's tongue got a bit loose. Usually she'd never hear a single detail about her husband's business or family. She wasn't family by blood, so her access to information was very restricted.

Getting lost in her thoughts again she zoned out for a second before Nickolas’ voice came to her ear from close proximity.

”This is my wife, Y/N Winterbourne.” He introduced her and it took a second to stand up, smooth out her dress before her eyes met the guests.

…and just for a second, her heart stopped, mouth slightly parting as she met the blue gaze she dreamed of for so many years.

”May we dance, Mrs. Winterbourne?” Thomas Shelby asked, standing side to side with her husband. Slightly shorter yet visibly towering over him.

For once she forgot her manners, not able to tear her eyes away from him as she gave a quick nod and without another word, he grabbed her hand pulling her towards the dance floor among other couples. Completely stiff and frozen, her vocal chords were not cooperating as she was on the verge of a panic attack.

His hands grabbed her own, setting them on his shoulders as he pulled her closer.

”Breathe” He said quietly in a husky tone as his scent almost made her faint.

After Hours

Part 13

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

Mortified. Absolutely mortified.

There was no other way to describe it.

She was absolutely mortified.

Y/N initially had no intention of doing what she’d done that night, but upon seeing Robert, thinking of everything she felt for him but also how much he’d hurt her, she’d been unable to stop herself.

The literal lap dance she’d given him had come from somewhere between desirous arousal and offended anger, battling between still loving and wanting him, and feeling like she could nearly slap him again. And when it was over and she came to her senses once more, she knew that her only option was to bolt out of there as fast as possible and do everything she could to never see him again. That was the last time she’d let him hurt her.

•.•.•.•.•

The looks she’d given him — the obvious hurt in her eyes, but then also something else. The arousing feel of her body on his, the touches she she’d given him. The way his hands had felt on her. The instinctive need to hold her closer. The insane desire he had to just erase the mistake he’d made, take away the hurt he’d caused, and have her back with him and to tell her that he loved her.

These were all the thoughts running through Robert’s mind the next day, and as he sat at his desk and was unable to do anything productive, he kept trying to think of anything he could do now to possibly fix this. But it was hopeless. He’d screwed up royally, and he had no options left.

“Mr. Fischer, there’s someone here to see you. He’s not on your schedule, but he’s insisting you two know each other. He says it’s urgent and he needs to speak with you right away.”

Frowning at the words his receptionist, Mary, was saying to him through the phone intercom, Robert stood from his chair.

“What’s his name?” Robert asked then.

“Jason Dryers.”

Robert frowned again.

“I don’t know a Jason Dryers.”

There was a brief muffling as his receptionist spoke to whoever this visitor was, and then she spoke to Robert again.

“He’s insisting that he knows you, and that he needs to speak with you about Miss Y/L/N.”

At the mention of Y/N’s name, Robert’s eyebrows shot up, and then furrowed as he tried to figure out who this person could be.

“I’ll be right there,” he said into the phone, and then he moved from behind his desk and crossed his office.

As he opened the door and stepped out into the reception area, he saw a man who appeared to be about his age standing at Mary’s desk. The man turned around upon hearing Robert open the door, and as Robert looked at him, he immediately recognized him as the man who Y/N had been especially friendly with at the club that one night.

“You may not know me, but I know you,” Jason said upon making eye contact with Robert. “And I need to talk to you about Y/N.”

The mention of Y/N had Robert deciding that he needed to hear whatever this guy had to say. He’d been unable to stop her before she’d left the club last night after the ensemble performance, and all Robert had been able to think about all morning was how much of a mess all this had become and how insanely regretful he was for allowing himself to ruin everything.

Giving a slight nod to Mary over Jason’s shoulder to assure her that it was ok, Robert then silently stepped aside, making room in his doorway and gesturing for Jason to come into his office. After Jason had entered, Robert closed the door behind them, and then looked at Jason expectantly.

“What’s going on with Y/N?” he immediately asked, his face etched with concern. “Is she ok?”

Jason tilted his head, giving him a look of disbelief.

“Oh, so you’re suddenly concerned about her? After having called her a gold digging slut, hurting her so badly that she spent an entire week crying on my couch, and then intentionally embarrassing her by arranging that little show behind her back?” Jason scoffed. “You’re a real winner, aren’t you?”

Robert’s brow had furrowed deeper and deeper with each accusation Jason made, and he shook his head and tried to speak as he took in what he was saying.

“What? I didn’t—“

“Look, I don’t give a shit how rich you are or what influences you have. I’m not going to let you keep hurting my best friend. And while she may be too sweet to ever confront you, I’m not nearly as nice as her. So, I’m simply here to tell you to stop playing with her emotions and leave her the hell alone.”

Robert was trying to keep up as Jason made his declaration. But two words he’s said stuck out the most.

“Best friend?” Robert said to him.

Expecting a different response, Jason was poised to continue yelling when he registered Robert’s words.

“Yes, I’m her best friend. And I’m not gonna let you keep hurting her.”

“I thought you were dating her,” Robert said then, his pulse gradually rising as he started realizing he’d been very, very wrong.

“What?” Jason asked, again taken aback by Robert’s response. “No,” he shook his head as he frowned. “We’re best friends.”

“So, you’re not dating her? You two aren’t involved?”

“Considering the fact that I’m not interested in women, the answer to that is a definite no.” Jason crossed his arms then. “Although, if I was interested in women, I’d treat her a hell of a lot better than you have, I’ll tell you that.” He paused again before speaking once more, furrowing his brow in confusion. “What made you think she and I were dating?”

Robert looked at Jason.

“I saw you two at the club that night. You two kissed and hugged, and you seemed very…close.”

Jason looked back at Robert with equal confusion.

"I'd hardly call a quick kiss on the cheek 'close,'" he said.

"I..." Robert shook his head. "I thought maybe..."

"So, you see her give another man an innocent kiss on the cheek or learn she might be casually dating, and you immediately decide that means she's a gold digging bed hopper?" Jason started once more, angry again. He shook his head. "You know, for the longest time, I was rooting for you," he said, looking at Robert. "Every time she talked about you. I didn't even know you, but from everything Y/N would tell me, I was convinced you were a good guy and that you cared about her. But clearly, you don't give a shit about her. And you know what? That's fine, because you don't deserve her. If your opinion of her can be so easily swayed and you could be so cruel as to say what you said and do what you did to her, then you don't deserve to even know her. She's a million times better off having nothing to do with you. You're clearly not who she thought you were, and the little stunt you pulled last night was a low blow."

Shaking his head adamantly, Robert spoke then.

"I didn't arrange any of that last night," he began. "Well, I mean, I sort of did. I mean, I knew Y/N was going to be there, but I had no idea it was going to be that kind of performance. I thought all the women were just going to sing a song or something by themselves up on stage. I had no idea it was going to be what it turned out to be. My colleague arranged all that."

"But you did arrange it initially, though? And you knew she was going to be there," Jason emphasized. "You knew she was going to be there and you didn't tell her. Why? Just so you could humiliate her? Was what you said to her not hurtful enough, already? You had to catch her off guard and make her do it in front of you, just to make her feel worse?"

"What? No!" Robert insisted with another fervent shake of his head. "I arranged it initially, yes, but that was because it was my only option to possibly see her. I was trying to find a way to apologize. She'd refused what I'd sent her, she wouldn't respond to my calls or texts, and when I went to her apartment, she wasn't there and I had no idea when she'd be back. I had to work out some other way to see her so that I could try and talk to her. And if she knew ahead of time that I'd be there, I knew she wouldn't show up. I know it was extreme, but it was my only shot at being able to see her."

As Jason listened to Robert, his anger slowly started to lessen. So he'd done what he had to try and apologize?

"You went to her apartment?" Jason asked then.

"Yes," Robert replied. "After she'd sent everything back to me, I decided to try and speak to her in person. But when I went there, the doorman said she'd been gone for days, and that he didn't know when she'd be back. I waited for almost two hours, but she never came home."

"So you were trying to apologize?"

"Yes," Robert replied, nodding. "I've been trying to apologize since the day it happened, but she wouldn't have it. I didn't know what else to do."

Crossing his arms, Jason felt no sympathy for him.

"Maybe you shouldn't have ever said what you said to her in the first place. That would have been a good start. And the fact that your opinion of her could be so easily swayed tells me that an apology from you likely isn't really that meaningful. And just so you know, you couldn't be more wrong about her."

Robert shook his head yet again.

"What I said was terrible; I know that. And you have no idea how sorry I am. But I swear to you, I don't actually think any of that about her. I know I said it, but I didn't mean it."

"So then why did you say it?" Jason asked.

"Because I was jealous," Robert admitted. "Until that first time I went to see her, I had no idea she did this, and honestly, it was a shock. Not only that, but I hated the thought of anyone else seeing her like that. And then when I went and saw her the second time, the songs she'd sang were so different from the previous week. And I know now that they're just performances, they don't mean anything, but at the time, it threw me. And then I saw her with you, and I just..." Robert shook his head. "It was all just so unexpected. After we saw each other that night, and then at work the next day, I was still trying to wrap my head around it, and I know that what I said to her was terrible — horrible — but I swear to you, I didn't mean any of it. I felt jealous and surprised, and I just..."

He trailed off then, and Jason took the opportunity to circle back on something.

"Wait, so you'd seen her performing prior to that night when you two saw each other?" he asked.

Swallowing nervously, Robert realized he'd outed himself, but it was all coming out now, so what else could he do but be honest?

"Yes," he admitted.

"But she's never told you she did this," Jason shook his head. "How did you know?"

Robert released a resigned exhale.

"I overheard her talking about it with her friend one day," he said. "And when I learned about it...I don't know...I just had to go and see her."

"But you didn't tell her about that?" Jason asked.

"No," Robert shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Because I felt guilty, and I also didn't want to embarass her or make things awkward. How could I admit to going to see her?"

"But you did go."

"Yes."

"Why?"

Robert looked at Jason.

"Because I'm crazy about her; I have been for a long time. And when I learned she did this, I had to see her. What would you do if you had the opportunity to see the person you're crazy about like that?"

Staring back at Robert, Jason was slowly unravelling the mess that this had all become, and after a brief pause, Robert spoke again.

"Look, I know that what I said to her, how I acted towards her, is inexcusable. And for the last two weeks, I've spent every minute wishing I could take it back and trying to figure out some way to fix things. But believe me when I say that I don't actually believe any of what I said — I only said it out of jealousy, and I took it out on her. I just couldn't stand the thought of any other man seeing her like that. I know that's not an excuse, but she means more to me than anything, and I couldn't help how I felt. And now, I have no idea what else I can do, and it's killing me. I hate myself for all this."

Looking at Robert, Jason could see that the regret he felt and the sincerity in what he was saying was clear. And as Robert took a deep breath, he spoke again.

"Listen, I know I haven’t earned any favors here, but will you please just tell her that I'm sorry? I just need her to know that I don't truly think any of those things about her. I need her to know how sorry I am.”

Pausing momentarily, Robert then turned and walked back to his desk, opening a drawer and pulling out a sealed envelope.

“And maybe you can give her this,” he said.

Walking back over to Jason, he then handed it to him, and as Jason took the envelope, he gave Robert a questioning look.

"It's the letter I tried sending to her each time along with the flowers," Robert explained. "It's an apology, and it tells her how I feel about her. And I understand if she won't give me another chance, but I need her to know how I really feel."

Looking down for a moment at the envelope, Jason then looked up at Robert.

"And how do you really feel?" he asked him.

Looking back at him, Robert's face was completely serious.

"I love her," he replied. "I'm in love with her."

After a moment's pause, Jason switched the envelope into his other hand, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"You know, you could have saved the both of you a whole lot of time and trouble if you'd just been honest with her a long time ago."

Robert shook his head.

"I didn't know if she felt even the slightest bit what I was feeling," he said. "And I couldn't risk telling her and then losing her."

"You wouldn't have lost her," Jason assured him.

"How do you know?" Robert asked.

"Because she's as in love with you as you are with her. She has been for ages.”

Upon hearing that, Robert's heart pounded.

"And that's why what you said hurt her so badly,” Jason finished. “She loves you, and she thought you were someone who would never hurt her."

"I never will again," Robert replied, shaking his head. "Please, just have her read that letter."

Nodding, Jason then partially unfolded the piece of paper he'd pulled from his pocket, and then he looked at Robert again.

"The fact that she’s in love with you aside, you should also know that there was never any need for you to be jealous," he said, the hint of a smile suddenly appearing on his face. "Maybe take a look at this, and you'll understand why."

Jason holding out the paper, Robert reached out and took it, and Jason gave him a nod before heading for the door.

"I'll give her the letter," he confirmed. Then he walked across Robert's office and opened the door, stepping out and closing it behind him.

After Jason had left, Robert looked down to the paper in his hand, and after a moment's pause, he unfolded it. Upon glancing over it, he saw that it was some kind of personal worksheet that the owner of Plume had had her employees fill out. It was covered in Y/N's handwriting, and it asked questions like:

“What makes you feel empowered?"

“What makes you feel confident?"

"What makes you feel sexy?"

"What's your favorite aspect of performing?"

Reading through it, Robert came to the last question on the page.

"Is there someone in particular you think about when you perform? If so, who is it?"

As he read Y/N's response, he then suddenly understood what Jason had told him.

“Robbie”

@nyxxie-pooh @xsweetcatastrophe @febris-amatoria @vervainandspritz @allie131313

@an-eclectic-of-mass-destruction @betty21rose @cardan-official @teawonderfultea-blog1 @meister95

@4ria790 @shopgirl6us @wonderlanddreamer @mrs-bond @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf

@mspookington-blog @helftmich @lara2719 @cillmurphyslover @peskybinders

@vastcapacity @ll4n4 @tommyshelby87 @fmo166 @cassandratyrellm

@galactict3a

TASTE OF SHAME

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary: Once you're taken to the Arrow house, you can't seem to understand the reason for which he brought you here. Maybe Mr. Shelby just appreciates your company... Or maybe not.

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: non-con, oral (m receiving), Dark!Thomas Shelby, humiliation, degradation, straight up abuse, human t*

A/N: That's straight up abuse y'all LOL. Written for an amazing @novashelby

~~

"My sincere apologies, Mr. Sotheby," His voice came out smooth, butter like, as he slowly raised from his chair. His facial expression remained completely emotionless, the only sign of the fact he actually cared at all were his slightly furrowed eyebrows. The other man's eyes widened suddenly, as a gun came into his view, aiming directly between his eyes from a short distance, mere two feet. The older man's heart began pounding in his chest as an embodiment of a death threat looked him dead in the eyes. "For arranging my words in a way that gave you the false impression that you had any choice." A loud gunshot cut through the air, stunning the frightened man as his body trembled like a blade of grass. Pure fear, Thomas saw in his eyes, as he moved the gun, once more aiming it at the man's forehead. Mere inches from his head was a hole in the wall.

"Sign the contract" He eventually added, calmly, with a gaze as dead as his opponent would be if he didn't immediately listen. Which he did, of course, not being able to afford bargaining with the devil not a second longer.

Gripping the pen with his shaky hand, he signed the contract so evil, he could barely breathe. Giving up the horse so dear to his heart, along with his only daughter. Y/N.

~~

If someone asked, Y/N would tell that life was... Weird. That was the exact word she'd use. Weird. Months following her.. forceful moving were misleading, to say the least. She braced herself for all kinds of impact, whatsoever, coming from the hand of a gangster who wouldn't bat an eye on becoming the death for hundreds of people. He was indifferent, cold, never faltering to wordlessly remind people of who he was.

The first couple days, Y/N spent purely in the room she woke up in for the first time. Heart violently thumping whenever she'd hear muffled steps behind the door.

…and so she waited, and waited, until one of the maids brought her dinner with a smile gentle enough to bring some sense of safety, but not enough to reach her eyes. After that... She left the room, silently walking through the dark corridors of Arrow house. The cold and silent air occasionally cut with little Charlie's laugh or chatter, whenever someone would visit on the rare occasions Mr. Shelby was home. She didn't dare talk to him, hell, even look him in the eyes. The energy and power he emanated with was enough to make her understand her position.

Not worthy of even looking at him. And so she avoided him at all costs, like a little mouse would with a big scary cat. Even months after moving in, once the maids established the rules with her in Tommy's name, she was focused on being... As little trouble as possible. Despite the comforts of the big mansion, she constantly felt in danger.

Especially when the source of that feeling would stare at her across the room when she wouldn't manage to leave in time. Feeling his heavy gaze on her back, or hearing a snarky remark as she wouldn't dare to turn around.

So she knitted, attended horses, went on walks around the property and even indulged in meaningless talks with the only young woman she'd occasionally meet, Ada Shelby. Sister of a man so scary, yet not resembling him one bit. Y/N grew to like her.

"Does he talk to you at all? I never asked you before." Ada asked, letting out a cloud of smoke in the air as Y/N's eyes remained focused on the tea she was preparing.

Shifting from one leg to the other, Y/N tensed lightly, not wanting to talk about him.

"Not really, and... And I think it's okay." She finally stuttered out. "Mr. Shelby is a busy man and I don't want to get in any sort of trouble. Life has been treating me well ever since I'm here." Her voice was confident, yet gentle, just like always, not daring to speak about the humiliations she was dealing with on daily from him.

Ada looked at her cautiously for just a second, before taking another puff.

"He wasn't always like this." She eventually said, her voice low and quieter, almost as if he could hear it.

As if she knew

Y/N's eyes met hers, exchanging the knowing look which held something heavier. Something she couldn't put a finger on.

"I believe you," She breathed out, nodding.

~~

"Y/N" She heard, looking out of the window. Voice muffled through the thin wood of her door. "Please, come in" She offered kindly, seeing one of the older maids come in, offering nothing but a small smile on her thin lips.

"Mr. Shelby asked you to come to his office" She stated calmly, but the uneasiness in her eyes shone through the façade. Y/N froze for a second, her hand gripping onto the side of her nightstand.

"W-Why?" The usual gracefulness and

minimalistic confidence she carried herself with, gone, giving way to fear. She watched as the older woman let out a sigh, gently tilting her head to the side with a small smile.

"I'm sure you'll find out once you get there, Miss."

When she left, Y/N cautiously came closer, her head peaking out of the doorway to look at the door office. Dark wood, almost black. So fitting to the personality it hid days and nights.

He asked her to come, and so she did. Lazily making her way through the doorway, occasionally hearing the creaking beneath her white shoes.

That's what he was getting her. White shoes, white dresses, white everything. Y/N never dared to ask whether it was Ada, maids or himself choosing the type of underwear she wore. At the idea, her cheeks turned dusty pink just when her hand grabbed the handle.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed lightly, slipping into the room and closing the door behind. It took a few seconds before she moved at all, immediately feeling like she was caged in a lion's den.

As he flipped through the papers, she looked up, finally seeing him. Thomas didn't bother to look at her, continuing his work with a cigarette lying in an expensive ashtray, smoke seeping seemingly all the way to the ceiling.

"Mr. Shelby" She spoke up quietly, fumbling with the hem of her dress as her heart loudly thumped, perhaps trying to escape her ribcage.

Breathing through her mouth, Y/N tried to calm herself down as he seemed unbothered, as if she wasn't there.

So she waited, because he asked her to come. So she did.

"Sit down, Y/N" He finally said after several moments, not bothering with a quick response. He could afford to make people wait for him.

...and so she did, following his request which always sounded too demanding to officially call it that. Sitting on the chair in front of his desk, she leaned back, keeping her hands neatly folded on her lap. Waiting for a reason he called for her. All the dark and even darker thoughts ran through her mind one after the other.

Is he going to kill me? Have I done something wrong?

Five minutes turned into ten, ten into fifteen before finally, Y/N couldn't stand the tension as it turned into a pounding headache. She was.. scared.

”Mr. Shelby, why am I here?” She managed to breathe out eventually, fearfully glancing into his eyes hidden behind the glasses he wore.

Thomas didn't move, finishing up the contract as he smoked, inhaling the smoke into his lungs and carefully letting it out. As the cigarette came to an end, he stumbled it out before looking up and catching her staring at him. Shamelessly, he watched every small expression on her face, glancing towards her legs covered in white tights before sighing, and leaning back into his armchair.

”To keep me company, why else would you be here?” He responded in a husky voice, stating it as an obvious fact, making her feel stupid. Just like he wanted her to, of course.

It wasn't new by any means, Thomas Shelby he never missed an opportunity to talk to her like she was stupid, or openly mocking her.

Inhaling the smoke, Tommy let his gaze linger on her a little longer before dropping to his documents once more, losing interest in a conversation that hardly happened.

Y/N nodded, obediently which he saw in his peripheral vision.

Good girl

~~

After six days of her daily visits in his office, Y/N grew slightly less anxious. She didn't know why would he want her company since he clearly despised her, showing it on every step he could… besides those couple hours she was spending in his office.

That was the only exception.

One the seventh day, Y/N didn't wait for Frances to come and get her, instead she got ready on her own, bringing the book she was given by Mr. Shelby last time. The less she had to talk to him, the best it was for her own good.

Making her way across the quiet, dark corridor, Y/N sighed deeply before pressing on the handle, as the door opened.

As always, he was sitting by the desk, round glasses on his face as Thomas Shelby didn't spare her a single glance.

He never did whenever she came, even if he was the one who demanded her presence.

Y/N stood by the doorway, holding onto the book before finally, he sighed with annoyance, looking up.

”Take a seat, Y/N” He invited another day in a row, already knowing she wouldn't move if he didn't… allow her.

So good she was, never touching the things she wasn't supposed to. Never asking, never talking if he didn't start the conversation. The innocence was causing an itch, one Thomas couldn't scratch on his own.

Almost soundlessly she walked over to the couch, one that was too expensive to be this uncomfortable, but Y/N wouldn't dare to complain.

She sat on it quietly, putting her book aside as she looked out of the window, falling deep into her thoughts.

Y/N wondered, why was she even here? How did her family react to her sudden absence, did her father say the truth?

Times were difficult, dangerous enough for many young women to just… disappear.

Was that what he told her mother? she wondered, feeling the heartache at the memory of her loving mother. Her travel through the depths of her memory took longer than she thought, when suddenly, Y/N heard that deep sigh along with the armchair moving abruptly. Wooden legs scratching against the floor, perhaps leaving marks.

Her eyes snapped up, seeing him raise from his seat, rolling up his sleeves as he shook his head lightly.

”Books aren't interesting enough, eh? I thought little girls liked little stories,” He mocked, pouring himself another glass of whiskey, stirring it around with a swift move before he turned to face her. Feeling the shift in the air, Y/N shook her head with fear, her heart thumping loudly.

Can he hear it? Y/N wondered,

”N-No, Mr. Shelby I–” She started nervously, trying to explain but he cut her off without a care,

”’Yes, Mr. Shelby, ‘No, Mr. Shelby” His voice came out in a snarl, taunting as he saw pure fear in her eyes. ”I taught you well after all”

It wasn't new, the way people feared him. But the pure, little thing like her, it.. felt different. Addictive even. Taking a couple steps forward, he stood nearby before leaning down, his outstretched hands causing her to wince, afraid.

The impact never came, Y/N felt him tug on her chin. ”You don't have a single fucking ounce of rebellion in you, Dove.” The corner of his lips turned upwards as she closed her eyes, not brave enough to pull away from his touch. ”Doing exactly as you're told, eh?” His words were brimming on the edge of appropriateness because of the tone he was using. Her heart was thumping loudly with fear, and Y/N wondered whether… he heard it.

”I’m d–doing what I have to,” She quietly responded, feeling humiliated with the insinuations.

Suddenly Thomas crouched down in front of her, his rough, calloused hand grabbed her jaw, tugging and perhaps leaving bruises as he made her look into his eyes.

”No,” He hissed, ”You’ll do anything I fucking tell you to.” His voice was rough, a little odd even for him. Y/N tried to blame it on the amount of alcohol he drank. Tommy's eyes danced around her face, searching for any sign of weakness and as soon as he held her gaze once more, his lips turned into a wolfish grin.

The girl… she was completely pure and innocent. Her eyes so clear, he could read every emotion going through her head. His grip became stronger as he leaned closer.

”Are my books not good enough for you?” He snarled, unable to hold himself back from looking on her lips. Y/N squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to shake her head as tears gathered under her eyelids. ”Look at me,” He growled, and she tried, but the fear was overwhelming. ”I won't tell you twice” She sniffled, opening her eyes as she noticed the close proximity he was at.

”Not so fuckin’ stupid after all, eh?” Thomas let out a humoured sigh, leaning forward and leaving a little peck on her lips, before pulling away.

Slowly he walked over to the table, pouring himself another generous glass of whiskey.

”I know girls like you” He spoke up suddenly with a shake of his head, eyes remaining locked on the glass. ”Raised without a firm hand, to be treated as a princess of sorts..” The way his tongue wrapped around the words brought disgust to her mind. ”You think you're too good for us, Y/N? Too good for my house?”

Y/N watched with teary eyes as his head snapped up, meeting her gaze.

”Too good for my books, aren't you, Y/N?” The young girl sniffled, attempting to catch a breath so she could explain…

”N-No, Mr. Shelby.” Y/N stuttered out, but he ignored her voice, taking another glass in a gulp before turning around with a shake of his head. Y/N glanced towards the door, silently analyzing whether she'd make it to the door before he'd catch her.

Quickly giving up, as she realized that... She was very far away from anything she knew. There was nowhere to run from him.

Thomas felt her gaze at his back, as be poured whiskey into the wide glass in his hand. He turned it in his hand, thinking for a moment before he faced her again. Slowly walking across the room, as he pointed towards his desk.

"There's a pack of cigarettes on my desk. Light one for me, Y/N." He demanded out of the blue, not sparing her a single look and the tone of his voice proved to her that... There was no time to lose. He wanted it right away. Immediately getting on her feet, she walked towards the desk, passing by Tommy by mere inches, trying not to flinch as his scent registered in her senses.

Strong, heavy and... Specific.

Taking out a single cigarette out of the pack, she grabbed the little box with her shaky hand. With furrowed brows she finally managed to light it with a match, keeping it directly with the flame.

Tommy watched with amusement at her inexperience, clearing his throat as he leaned on the desk.

”Put it to your lips, then light and inhale. It's the only right way to do it,” He instructed sternly, watching her face. Seeking reaction.

Y/N tried to maintain a confident façade, but internally she felt out of her depth, cringing at the idea of feeling the flavour of tobacco on her tongue. She had never smoked before nor had she any inclination to start. This was certainly a test he was giving her: a test of her obedience and one she wasn't willing to fail.

Letting out a quiet sigh, Y/N lifted the cigarette to her lips, mirroring the way he's always done it. Under the watchful gaze she lit a match, holding the flame to the end, as she suddenly inhaled the smoke as instructed.

Not being able to hold it even for a second, Y/N plucked it out of her mouth as she coughed loudly, struggling to catch her breath.

Thomas couldn't help but chuckle, ripping the cigarette from her grasp and shoving it into his mouth for a long inhale, gaze remaining on her face which turned a few shades of pink darker.

As she slowly managed to pull herself back together, Thomas slowly smoked, one of his hands resting on the desk by his thigh. As her eyes met his, he smiled lightly.

”Do you like it, Y/N?” He asked, eyes narrowing as he watched her carefully, seeking every emotion. Y/N steadied her breath, straightening her dress slowly.

”No, Mr. Shelby” She said with a strained voice. He chuckled, exhaling a cloud of smoke towards her face.

”What’s there not to like, eh? Everyone smokes.” He mocked, raising an eyebrow in the way which made her blood boil.

”The taste,” She responded calmly, ”It’s disgusting”

This time Thomas let out a full laugh, taking the cigarette out of his mouth as his head fell back slightly. He shook his head, looking at her dumbfounded facial expression. Pointing towards the chair by the desk, he motioned for her to kneel down. With wide eyes she silently begged him to let her go, but he didn't.

Only after she did, Thomas scooted closer to the edge, leaning down.

”What do you know about taste, little girl?” He taunted, outstretching his hand to grasp her jaw tightly, too tightly for any sign of comfort. The cigarette was still burning between his middle and ring fingers, making her dizzy with the intense smoke. ”You’ve tasted nothing, Y/N, have you?” His voice was harsh, underlined with the inappropriate desire he held deep in his mind for so long.

The way she… did everything he asked. Despite the burning tears in her eyes, and fear which never left her body around him, she always listened.

”N–No Mr. Shelby” She repeated weakly, as one of the tears ran down her cheek. Y/N tried to nod, to make him happy in anyway just so he would let he go.

”That’s fucking right” He barked loudly through clenched teeth, ”’Yes, Mr. Shelby’, Good fucking girl” He hissed, pulling back, letting go of her jaw.

Looking down, Thomas set the cigarette between his lips before dipping two of his fingers in the glass of whiskey.

”I’ll give you something to try, eh?” He breathed out, looking back up into her fearful eyes. Setting the glass on the desk by his side, Thomas gripped her hair with one of his hands, harshly pulling and keeping her exactly where he wanted, causing pain and more tears to fall.

”Open your fuckin’ mouth” He hissed, as she didn't listen, trying to keep her mouth closed. With another hand he squeezed her jaw just beneath her cheekbones, causing it to open involuntarily. As it did, he shoved his fingers into her mouth, making her taste the bitterness of whiskey on her tongue.

As she surrendered, Tommy relaxed visibly, letting go of her hair as his head tilted to the side.

”You want to be a good girl for me, Y/N.” He said in a voice so odd and low, she couldn't take it in any other way than… threatening. Crying wordlessly, she nodded, tongue swirling around his fingers just like he wanted.

With the amount of whiskey he drank himself, it was easier to read his eyes. The shade slightly changing, pupils dilating depending on what he thought and felt. Her scalp burned, just like her tongue. He watched entranced, moving his fingers in her small mouth, feeling his pants growing tighter around the crotch.

Without missing a beat, he brought the glass to his lips, chugging it in one big gulp before pulling his fingers out of her mouth.

”Did you like it, Y/N?” He asked, petting her cheek with wet fingers, before sighing. ”...and don't fucking lie to me” He growled, causing her to wince in fear as she frantically nodded.

Thomas scooted a little closer, tugging on the material of his suit pants with his dry hand.

”Good,” He added, baring his teeth in a wolfish smile before spreading his lips, and shoving wet digits into his own mouth. Moving them around as he kept eye contact with Y/N, who didn't dare to look away.

”Open” He demanded in a husky voice once he freed his fingers, lifting them to her face. Y/N was too scared to deny him, parting her lips lightly, and it was enough.

Enough for him to slowly shove them inside, his own lips parting as he panted with burning desire. The sight of his spit covered fingers disappearing into her mouth made him completely hard. ”Suck them for me,” He offered gently, but the frenzy in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

Obediently looking him in the eyes, Y/N started sucking as best as she could, trying not to choke as he shoved them deeper. It was difficult to focus on the task as he groaned every few seconds, another one of his hand sitting tightly on his crotch, squeezing and tugging.

Her tear stained face seemed to only spur him on, so Y/N did everything to stop crying.

”Please” She tried to speak around his fingers, feeling absolutely humiliated with what was happening.

Hearing it, he slapped her cheek lightly, almost petting as his brows furrowed in mockery.

”You wanted to taste, so fuckin'–taste it!” He growled, choking her as he shoved his fingers deeper once again. ”Ah, that's it” Thomas sighed, taking in the sight of her teary and spit covered face, causing his cock to twitch impatiently in his trousers.

Only then he pulled his hand back, letting her get a breath as he spread the spit all over her cheek, touching the soft skin.

”Can–Can I go now?” She asked quietly, trying not to sob, but as he shook his head slowly with a chuckle, Y/N knew it was far from end. Furious sobs ripped out of her throat, causing him to tilt his head as he watched, leaning back.

”You need to understand one thing, Y/N” His voice turned serious, completely different from the usual mockery he was treating her with. ”You see,” He sighed, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. ”I paid for you a small fortune. You and the horse you love, eh? What was his name?” He spoke in a low tone, keeping an eye contact.

”Inferno” She choked out,

”Ah, yes. Such a smart girl” He praised, petting her thigh and causing her to squirm. ”Which in the adult world means I own you. Fully and completely.” A small grin spread on his face, not reaching his eyes. ”So when I tell you to read, you read. When I tell you to suck, you fuckin’ suck! You hear me?!” He raised his voice with each word, followed by stumbling out a cigarette in the ashtray as he raised from his chair, quickly standing right in front of her.

”Look at me,” He demanded, and the warmth radiating from his body only reminded her of how close he was. Of how easily he could hurt her. So she did.

Looking up, Y/N’s eyes met dark orbs, almost completely black in the dim light of the room and with the desires he was holding deep inside. His fingers lightly grabbed her chin, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the side.

”...and right now, I will teach you another thing that you will be grateful to me for,”

With that, Thomas let go of her chin after pulling it down, making her stare ahead. Her eyes falling on the tent in his trousers, the evidence of his desire and list evident in a way that she was terrified of.

”Please, just–” She muttered out, before another slap landed on her cheek, this time harder, successfully shutting her up.

”I’m growing tired of little bitches like yourself pretending to be all proper, Y/N. Don't make me tell you what to do, because you won't like it, I assure you.” Y/N swallowed her tears, bracing herself for another potential hit as her hands raised in the air, reaching for his belt and slowly unclasping it.

She fumbled for a moment with his zipper, earning an annoyed sigh from him which made her move faster in fear. Pulling down his briefs, Y/N closed her eyes in hopes he wouldn't notice, but of course he did. Chuckling loudly, Thomas tutted.

”You’re ought to be grateful. Thank me for wasting my fuckin’ time on you!” He growled, getting a hold of his erect member and slapping it across her cheek, making her squeeze her eyes tighter. ”Ungrateful little whore,” He added, grabbing a fistful of her hair, pulling her closer.

”Open” Tommy demanded, pressing his tip against her lips, making her internally cringe but fearing his unrestricted violence, she parted her lips once more. “If I feel your teeth even once, I'm going to fuck your worthless cunt so long till you grow fat with my bastards” He growled, pulling on more strands, forcing her to nod her head in understanding.

Y/N remained motionless, not knowing what to do and at the same time, she didn't want to provoke him.

Feeling her obedience and fear, Thomas sighed, letting go of her hair and petting her cheek lightly.

”Good girl”

Moving his hips forward, he stuffed her face with more of his cock, giving her some time to grow accustomed to his thickness.

“Now suck on it, Dove” He instructed, watching her face as she hollowed her cheeks, taking him deeper as she sucked on the few inches she had in her mouth. Tommy hummed under his breath, feeling the familiar tingling in his spine at the sight. Such an innocent, pretty girl falling into the devil's embrace. Sinning on his account as he watched, and drank every second. ”Just like that”

Just when Y/N got used to the pace and depth he settled earlier, Tommy pushed on her head, forcing her to swallow him further and making her choke. She fought against his grasp, feeling dizzy with the lack of air as he began fucking her throat, not really caring about the nails sinking into his thighs.

Pulling away, he let out a laugh glancing on the mirror a few feet away from him. Y/N violently coughed, trying to catch a breath but his attention was elsewhere. Mirror which happened to stand by the opposite wall, a few feet behind Y/N’s back allowed him to get a perfect look. Her dress ridden up, revealing her white panties.

”Who knew you'd be such a whore, eh? Maybe I should make a penny out of you, after all. You'd do well in a brothel if that's what you like,” He laughed cruelly, leaning forward and shoving his cock back into her mouth, as he grasped her underwear. Tutting and groaning, Thomas pulled up, causing the material to dig into her pussy and ass. Y/N cried out around his fat member, trying to get out of his hold but he was too strong.

Tommy pulled until he became satisfied with the wet patch on her underwear, which was now evident on the white lace.

Letting her pull away again, Thomas grabbed his spit covered cock, tugging and rubbing as he groaned loudly, throwing his head back. The sight of her kneeling in front of him, with her cunt wet and face tearstained was too much, as orgasm suddenly arrived when he didn't expect it.

Stroking furiously, Tommy shot out load after load, painting her face just like he imagined before.

Silently, Y/N prayed to anything that was willing to listen for it to be the end of this encounter. Her sobbing died down, and gaze became absent as she dissociated.

Eventually seeing the difference in her eyes, Thomas chuckled darkly before running a hand through her messy hair.

”Don’t make me repeat myself,” He said, his voice echoing throughout the room before she raised her dead eyes to meet his.

”Thank you, Mr. Shelby”

~~

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