HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LAW 🎊
Velcro baby Damian
the reason Jason started learning to cook was because before he died he used to go to Dick’s apartment like once a month for stilted forced ‘brotherly bonding’ on the demand of Alfred, and Dick had to cook them dinner every time up until the time where he mixed up the salt and the cocaine he’d been holding onto for evidence for one of his cases and he accidentally drugged them both to shit. the night ended with them deciding it would be a wonderful idea to go on a quick patrol and they blew up like three cop cars. Dick paid Jason off to never tell Bruce and after that Jason refused to let him cook for them and had to learn how to do it himself.
tim needs to get on indeed dot com
In this headcanon, Damian didn't learn English until the age of 8, which made it his 7th language. As a result, his English isn't very good. However, he hides this well because he is a fast learner. He is good at speaking English but has to take his time to comprehend it when someone speaks to him.
This leads to the event where Damian gets de-aged and he doesn't understand anything they are saying, which makes the batfam confused as to why he is not responding. The first person to realize what was happening was when Cass spoke Arabic and Damian finally responded.
Jack: If someone is mean to you, you have to fight back, bud. You're a Drake, which means you're as tough as a dragon.
Baby Tim: Rawr.
Jack, holding back tears: Fuck, I'm such a good dad.
Janet: You have to be subtle with your insults. You must not be crude, nor weak. Understood, darling?
Baby Tim: So I can't say Daddy is dumb?
Janet: Exactly. You can offer to help him though. God knows that man needs it.
Brucie Wayne: Hi Janet, Jack! Oh, who's this little guy?
Baby Tim, staring into his soul: I saw pictures of you kissing Mommy and Daddy.
Brucie:
Janet:
Jack: That's because I'm a real catch, Timmy boy. Everyone wants a piece of me. I'm sure you'll be a heartbreaker just like me when you grow up.
Janet: Hun, shut up.
Baby Tim at a gala: OH MY GOD MOMMY ITS DICK!
Janet: Timothy! Where on earth did you get such crude language? No, stop it, no running-
Baby Tim: FLIPPY DICKIE!
Freshly adopted Dick Grayson after being bowled over by a toddler: Alfred did NOT go over this in his etiquette lessons.
🐱☕️
i think the rest of the bats probably forget that Tim actually has a full time job. like an important one. they probably text him all the time like ‘wanna help me with this case’ and Tim’s like ‘can’t sorry I’m in Germany for the next 3 days’ and then all the kids are talking for the next week like ‘wow Tim’s probably in some deep shit with this international case he’s working. can’t imagine what he’s dealing with rn’ and then the week after Tim’s at the manor for dinner and Dick’s like ‘so tell us all the gory details of the case in Germany!’ and Tim just looks at him lost.
‘what case’
‘the reason you had to go undercover in Germany and couldn’t join me and Jason’s stakeout!’
‘i never said i was undercover’
‘why the fuck else would you go to Germany?’
‘business convention’
‘…’
‘…i had to give a seminar- you guys know im a CEO right?’
‘well BRUCE never had to travel when HE ran the company-‘
‘BECAUSE BRUCE WAS SHIT AT HIS JOB THATS WHY A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD HAD TO TAKE OVER’
and Bruce is sat at the end of the table just slightly offended.
autistic damian who finally feels comfortable to stim, develops a stim where he puts his fingers in his mouth and the rest of the batfamily doesn’t know what to do because it’s unsanitary and not good for his teeth but they don’t want to crush his spirit.
Popular art blogger/online artist Damian with fan Maps is awesome
She even commissions him once and Damian,who doesn't really need to or want to only did bc Maps made the coolest idea ever and he just HAD to. Neither notice till Maps shows up with custom keychains he made and they're like the spider man meme
Damian and Maps bestie arc begins trust‼️‼️
OMG SUCH A CUTE IDEA I LOVE IT
JUST A SKETCH OF THEM, I'M SORRY 😭✋‼️✋‼️‼️✋‼️✋‼️✋💖‼️💖‼️