Rotten 🍅🍋

Zatanna projecting her period cramps onto Constantine

as much as i enjoy the dog motif for jon i really do think it can go both ways. I'm re-reading the super sons comic and jon is constantly making Damian say "please" and "sorry" before doing what he wants. they both have such a tight grip on each other it's actually crazy

Jack: If someone is mean to you, you have to fight back, bud. You're a Drake, which means you're as tough as a dragon.

Baby Tim: Rawr.

Jack, holding back tears: Fuck, I'm such a good dad.

Janet: You have to be subtle with your insults. You must not be crude, nor weak. Understood, darling?

Baby Tim: So I can't say Daddy is dumb?

Janet: Exactly. You can offer to help him though. God knows that man needs it.

Brucie Wayne: Hi Janet, Jack! Oh, who's this little guy?

Baby Tim, staring into his soul: I saw pictures of you kissing Mommy and Daddy.

Brucie:

Janet:

Jack: That's because I'm a real catch, Timmy boy. Everyone wants a piece of me. I'm sure you'll be a heartbreaker just like me when you grow up.

Janet: Hun, shut up.

Baby Tim at a gala: OH MY GOD MOMMY ITS DICK!

Janet: Timothy! Where on earth did you get such crude language? No, stop it, no running-

Baby Tim: FLIPPY DICKIE!

Freshly adopted Dick Grayson after being bowled over by a toddler: Alfred did NOT go over this in his etiquette lessons.

Happy Valentine’s Day ~

The Batkids have the same twenty dollar bill that has been going around for like 16 years straight or something - beginning with Jason and Dick

The story goes:

Jason, 12: I bet you $20 that I can make Bruce cry without saying a word

Dick: Deal.

Jason: *walks up to Bruce and hugs with love in his eyes*

Bruce: *violently sobbing and picking Jason up*

Dick: *angrily walks by and slyly hands Jason a 20*

—

A few weeks later it’s

Dick, on a skyscraper looking down at a different one: I bet $20 that I can make this landing

(Info: this genuinely should not be possible for Plot Reasons)

Jason: okay but if you die I get to keep it

Dick: *jumps and lands it*

Jason: *sadly climbs back down to the street and hands a proud Dick the SAME $20 he earned not too long ago*

—-

This goes on between them for years - up until you know what

—-

Dick, out of habit: I bet you $20 you can’t do six front flips in a row

Tim, new and eager to please: watch me bitch

Tim: *does it perfectly - maybe with a tad bit of a waver but still*

Dick:

Dick, crying hysterically for many reasons: *hands the faithful $20 over*

—-

(For plot reasons Tim never spends it for X reason)

Steph: I bet you $20 I can make that guy over there ask for my number

Tim: okay

Steph: *comes back over after successfully getting him to ask*

Tim: *handing over the 20*

—

Cass:

Steph: oh you’re fucking on

Cass:

Steph: DAMNIT *hands $20 over*

—-

Cass:

Damian: -tt- yes obviously I can. I shall take on the bet

Damian: *wins*

Cass: >:(

—-

Damian: Thomas, I will give you a 20 dollar if you can scare Father

Duke: Hell yeah

Duke: *goes on a quest for a few days before he genuinely scares the crap out of Bruce*

Duke: GIVE ME THE $20 HOE

—

By now, it’s a very big inside joke between the bats

—

It’s Dicks turn with the $20 when it happens like the first day

Jason: hey I bet I can make Bruce cry

Dick: oh please he hasn’t since 2013

Jason: Watch me

Jason: *walks up to Bruce, says a few words, hugs him tightly, walks back over to Dick*

Jason: Wait for it…

Bruce: *wonders off and a few moments later - you hear crying*

Dick: *passes a very wrinkly and used $20*

Jason: what the hell is this? The routing number has been out of rotation for years

Dick: oh it’s the same one that we used back when we made stupid bets - it’s been around the family

Jason:

Jason: *definitely not crying*

—-

Anyway; the reason I made this post was cuz of this headcanon

The bat siblings might have a $20 bill but there’s a 75% chance they won’t give it to you because “oh it’s not spending money”

“(Bat) YOU’RE A MULTIBILLIONAIRE”

“I know but this one is special-“

One of my favorite genres of post

when your love language is secretly physical touch, but any amount of affection overwhelms you 🙄

Damian is an animal person, and I like to think that he has pets of all kinds. Including illegal ones and legal ones.

He probably has gone to his father more than once to get him to get a permit for a pet.

Damian, walking over to Bruce at that point in the day when he agrees with anything: Father?

Bruce, exhausted™: Yes Damian?

Damian holding up a paper: May you sign this?

Bruce not even reading the paper: yeah sure

Damian two weeks later walking into the manor with a pet ferret in hand: Father, I’ve named him Jason. Do you like him?

Bruce remembering that ferrets are illegal to own in New Jersey without a permit: He’s lovely… how did you.. get him?

Damian: You signed the paper two weeks ago

Bruce who doesn’t remember that but knows he definitely signed something: oh… okay

"No one took me seriously except you, the guy who made me wanna transcend the gods in the first place."

GAAAAAAAAYYYY‼️

I think this is peak DeathStar moment you guys.

This is based off a text convo I had with my cousin lmao

Tim sending a photo of Jason to Steph where the lighting hitting Jason’s shirt makes his stomach look a bit round: why does jason look 5 months pregnant?

Steph: he’s carrying it for roy

Tim: #meninwomendominatedfields

Steph: yessss!

Tim: i didn’t expect jason mpreg on my 2025 bingo card

Steph: same i’m loving the plot twists so far