Yeah Okay And What If I Kill Myself

Damian and Jon are black cat and golden retriever coded to you. To me they are two snakes hissing at each other.

I so want more identity shenanigans fics about Jon crushing on (civilian) Damian, who crushes on (and a secret fan of) Superboy. It’s one of my favorite tropes.

Jon would be like ‘Darn. It. Why is my best friend so cute lately?’

While Damian would open his phone, get on private browsing (with all sorts of anti-spy stuff already installed), and read a Superboy x Reader fanfiction.

I like to think that thanks to Jason's death, Dick's hair became straighter and let it grew bacause he couldn't care less. He was trying to be a good brother to Tim tho, and Timmy was trying to also be a good brother but you know, he was doing the best a little kid could know.

Batman is so funny. Every time he tries to implement his whole no metas in my city rule this is how it goes without fail.

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Batman: No metas in my city

Dick: Except for Wally he’s my best friend

Batman: Fine

Dick: Oh and Starfire my girlfriend, technically she’s an alien.

Batman: …..I suppose

Dick: And I guess the rest of the Titans when they come to visit.

Batman: ....

Dick: *grins* That’s it I swear.

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Batman: No metas in my city except for the Teen Titans

Tim: What about Superboy he’s my best friend?

Batman: Fine

Tim: Oh and Bart he’s my other best friend

Batman: ......Alright

Tim: Wait, I can’t forgot Cassie and the rest of Young Justice

Batman: *scowls*

Tim: *puppy dog eyes*

Batman: *crosses arms* No metas in my city except the Teen Titans and Young Justice

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Damien: *raises eyebrows*

Batman: And Irey West and Collin Wilkes, Or Ace West and Jon Kent (depending on continuity)

Damien: Thank you

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Batman: *Looks at Jason*

Jason: *shrugs* Don’t look at me, I died at thirteen, I don’t have any friends.

Batman: That's concer-

Jason: Though Bizarro and Artemis were pretty cool…

Batman: *Adds them to the list*

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Alfred: Aren’t you forgetting someone?

Batman: Who

Alfred: *Gestures to the entire Justice League most of who are the parental figures of the kids his kids have play dates with*

Batman: Clearly this rule isn’t working.

He's just a little confused okay??

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

A list of things that are in fact cannon in my own little batfam world

- “Are we getting Jason’ed???” Something you say when you think you’re about to die by the hands of the joker.- Coined by Steph, when she thought she was gonna die at the hands of the joker with Tim. Is now used by everyone.

- WWRHD = What Would Red Hood Do?- was coined by Steph, is now used in every situation possible by every bat kid.

- Evil Baha Blast = The Lazarus Pit- was coined by Duke, when he thought that saying the actual name might trigger Jason. Jason laughed his ass off for about 10 minutes and has not called it by its actual name since.

Will continue this when I come up with more.

Damian Wayne gets caught by the press while sneaking away and hanging out in civilian clothing with Red Hood and Bruce finding out they know each other isn’t even his biggest problem. his biggest problem is that the interviewer asked what his connection is to the crime lord and why they have on camera the guy calling Damian ‘habibi’, and, panicking about whether or not Bruce seeing this interview could leak Jason’s identity, to throw him off the trail Damian said that Red Hood is his parent.

Interviewer: wait. but… i thought that Bruce Wayne was your biological father?

Damian, panicking even more because both Jason and Bruce would kill him if people thought that Brucie Wayne was the Red Hood’s identity: what, don’t you support trans people? Hood was my mother.

Jason only finds out what Damian did when after a week of confusedly nodding at the trans pride pins people kept wearing and pointing out to him on the street, and Damian refusing to look him in the eye, Nightwing shows up during patrol crying laughing about how Bruce Wayne got asked during a gala about his secret affair with a crime lord and held his champagne glass so tightly it exploded in his hands.

Bruce, on the other hand, got sent the interview clip by Tim halfway through breakfast, whereupon hearing the audio start Damian climbed out the nearest window to get away. after a slightly paranoid text to Talia about whether or not she was in Gotham wearing a face covering helmet every night, be proceeds to freak the fuck out. he has no idea who the Red Hood is, or how Damian knows him. He also has no clue that Red Hood knows HIS identity, and fully plans on showing up to Wayne events in the helmet to antagonise Bruce by stealing food and demanding they talk about the ‘custody arrangements’ of their son. all he knows is that Damian broke a window in his haste to Not Explain Anything, and that Dick and Tim are wheezing hysterically on the other side of the house.

Tim Drake grows his hair out past his shoulders and he looks equally as pretty as he is handsome. His family don't know what to do with this development because they suddenly all but having to beat people off him with bats wherever they go and the internet is losing its collective shit over #TimothyWithTheGoodHair.

The internet ranking Tim's hair cuts and finding that no matter what the style is (even that godsforesaken bowl cut), he absolutely rocks the hairstyle.

There's entire wars on social media on the "best" hairstyle, but they unanimously agree that his longer hair is the favored one

Image refference + draw of the selfie under the cut

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Post by @muchimm | 1 image

They like to fight crime and be friends!

I havent posted in a whileee havent I, you know how artblock is ;b

The Batkids doing that "Suspect" tiktok trend where they take turns filming each other running and say increasingly personal and deranged shit to make each other laugh.

Spoiler, recording Red Robin: *in a confused voice* Suspect listens to Green Day and Enya, like my guy pick a struggle

Nightwing, recording Red Hood: Suspect died once and made it his entire personality

Red Hood, recording Robin: Suspect has a superiority complex that is way too big for someone his size

Robin, recording Nightwing: Suspect has been engaged at least twice and married never

Red Robin, recording Spoiler: Suspect thinks assaulting people with bricks is a legitimate flirting strategy (Spoiler: It worked on you!)

Signal, who came out at night solely for this, recording Red Robin: Suspect can't come up with an original name and keeps stealing everyone else's

Red Hood, recording Nightwing: Suspect is actually a huge asshole but hides it behind that cheerful demeanor so everyone thinks I'm lying about it

Robin, recording Red Hood: I'm going to let the Suspect keep running because he needs the exercise

Signal, recording Red Hood: Suspect acts tough but has read every Jane Austen novel at least six times