Capi this was so goodđđ
You had joked with Ghost before about getting married, never with a tone serious enough for it to be taken into account, even if it was something you dreamed about whenever you were alone with your thoughts. What you hadnât expected was the question to come up at such an inopportune time.Â
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Sergeant Reader
rbs greatly appreciated!
WC: 2.1 K
a/n: i hate giving my fics titles so just assume the song in the title is the vibe i want the fic to have lmao. also this is unedited and not beta read so beware of typos and shit
warnings: estabilished relationship, profanity, whump, description of wound, mentions of death, badly timed marriage proposal, medical inaccuracies, fluff, happy ending
Itâs cold.
No, scratch that. Itâs fucking freezing.
God, you hate the cold. Considering how much you despise it, it amuses you to think you might have been a desert creature in another life. A lizard, maybe. The types to scurry really fast and eat small insects all day. What a life.
Youâre lost in your musings but you think there are a few very faint voices calling for you. Where are they coming from? Above? Seems like it. First, you hear their voices getting clearer, and recognize a word. Itâs your codename, meaning, itâs your teammates voices. But why do they sound so agitated? Next, you feel pain. Quickly rising, scorching hot pain in your abdomen.Â
Oh, thatâs right. You were shot.
A scream echoes out wherever you are and only later youâd recognize it as your own, in the same moment you recognize Ghostâs own booming voice frantically calling out for you, and the heavy weight of Soapâs large hands holding you down so you wouldnât trash as much. It had been ironic, really, how much the mission went smoothly, 99% of it being completed without a hitch, but right as you were about to celebrate success, some fucker neither of you had seen before had decided to put a bullet in you - any of you - blindly, and it so happened it would hit you. The offender was long gone, a throw knife lodged in his skull as quick as a blink of an eye in the split second after the gunshot was heard, but the damage was already done. A few seconds before it happened, you had groaned how much you couldnât wait for evac to come so you could take a hot shower and sleep, since your bones were aching, and Gaz had laughed and called you old-spirited. So much for that shower, you think as you take in the surroundings of what you could see of the abandoned safe house from your position on the blood stained table. It was painful to think about if that same table was used in the past for a family reunion or to gather folks around for good news, before hell broke loose and war tore apart the people, so you didnât think about it. Ghost called your codename again and you cast your eyes downwards to look at him, the fear in his eyes sending a chill down your spine.
âHey! Talk to me, donât you dare close your eyes!â
You had screamed as he was removing the projectile from your flesh, you realized. Was not your first rodeo, a thought that made you want to laugh bitterly, but just the idea of laughing made you wince in pain. His hands were currently trying to stop the bleeding, and after taking one look at the wound, you suddenly felt at peace.Â
It was pretty shitty you were going to die in an equally shitty safehouse, but thatâs the life you chose. So, against your better judgment, you chuckle lowly and decide to follow your superiorâs orders.
âKeep talking, eh? Alright.â You groaned once more when he applied more pressure to your gaping wound. âL.t, do you- do you remember when i told youâŚI wanted to retire early and - fuck - get to the countryside and get a big ass dog?â
He looked up at you briefly, glad you were talking but clearly wondering where you were going with this. You knew he hated when you spoke of the future as if you were going to die - which, right now, you were pretty sure it was really happening this time - but you couldnât help yourself. Of course he remembers that conversation, it was in the beginning of your secret-not-so-secret relationship. You had asked him what he would do if he wasnât a soldier, and he had given you a very cryptic and vague answer that resembled a lot like nothing. In turn, you told him your wishes half heartedly, as if thinking of living for 10 more years was a very distant dream.Â
The relationship between the 141âs Lieutenant and one of its Sargeants was a sort of urban legend going around. People knew it was happening, but didnât dare speak of it, and no one had ever really seen any proof of it, so, it was best to avoid prying into Ghostâs private matters as to not risk being at the receiving end of his annoyance, and, in turn, you both found solace in having something that only the two of you knew about. It never hindered your professionalism and it had been going on for a few good years now, so it became somewhat naturalized between the folks coexisting in the same space as you and Simon after a while. However, that never stopped the natural curiosity to flourish in a few people - namely, your comrades, who always knew there was something going on given the fact youâd literally look at your superior with hearts in your eyes - so you had to ignore Gaz and Soapâs expectant eyes on you as you spoke so tenderly, the intensity of witnessing the start of what seemed like a very intimate talk momentarily sharing space with the worry they were feeling over you.Â
â...Yes. I remember.â
He never forgets the things you say, even if you think itâs not important at the time. You hummed, ignoring the pain that came with it.
âBig dogs were never really my thing. I just-â A cough ripped out of you, and you didnât need to look to know there was blood in it. â I just thought it was the kind of thing youâd want. Big dogs fit you. It felt less scary to think about retiring once I added you in the equation.â
You were slurring your words and you knew it. As you regained your breath, you briefly saw a very wide-eyed and angry looking Price curse into his comm asking where the fuck was the goddamn chopper. Your codename being barked alongside the word âWIAâ to a poor fellow soldier on the other side of the line left you with a bad taste in your mouth. You hate how scared Ghost looked, your big, scary, stoic Ghost, and you canât help but feel selfish for leaving him, even if being shot was not your fault and wasnât really in your plans when you left the base that morning.
âStop talking like youâre fucking d-â
âWe could have done it, you know?â Your laugh is, once again, bitter, and youâre acutely aware of the tears streaming down your face. Death has never scared you, but now that you got a reason to stay, youâre terrified. âCouldâve gotten hitched somewhere nice. Canât really imagine you in a suit, though.â
The pain doesnât stop, but it gets duller as you feel your consciousness slipping away, and you never fought so much to stay awake in your entire life. Simon yells something to Soap among the lines of getting something from somewhere so he can continue trying to save you, but you donât register his words. His tone softens once his eyes are back on you.
âIâd wear a suit if you asked me to, sweetheart.â
âI know. I wouldnât ask, though.â
Not caring there are other people in the room, you smile at him, well aware it must be uncanny to see Ghost be so tender towards another person, but again, you were the lucky one who got to see it every time it was just the two of you, so you got used to it with time.
Your vision starts spinning more and more, and your eyes start to close the moment you hear the familiar, faint sound of a helicopter getting closer, Simonâs big hands suddenly on your face to try to keep you grounded, and he sounds even more exasperated than before. He calls your name - not your codename, for once.
âStay alive, do you hear me?! You gotta stay the fuck alive so i can take you to the bloody countryside and get bloody hitched-â
âYou askinâ me to marry yaâ in my deathbed, sir?â You manage to slur out, your smile growing despite the panic you donât have the energy to express settling in your bones, and Simonâs eyes widen even more behind the mask.
âYes, I am, so stay with me, thatâs a fucking order-â
You chuckle, closing your eyes as the frantic sounds around you all blur into a garbled mess. Faintly you feel your body being moved around, a strong wind on your blood and dirt caked hair, hear some more shouting, but then,
Silence.
ââââââââââ
Feels like the thousandth time you have woken up, and the feeling of coming in and out of consciousness is unbearable at best.
The first time - or the second, you donât remember - there was a strong light above you, but you had no energy to open your eyes, so it lasted a measly second before you were out again. Later, you heard an unfamiliar voice saying something about an induced coma for a few days for a better recovery. You wondered if they were talking about you (they probably were). This happens a few more times before you actually feel your consciousness coming back for good, and, before you open your eyes, the first thing you notice is how warm it is, and, if you could, youâd smile. The spring air smells good, and you think you catch a whiff of cleaning products while you inhale, suddenly aware of how empty your lungs felt. The third thing you notice is the weight on your hand, and once you open your eyes, you find a familiar set of skeleton gloved hands on top of your own. A few years back you had told him with a laugh the print was very 2000âs, and he had just brushed you off with a scowl, but youâve never been so glad to see the tacky thing. His thumb caresses your skin as he patiently waits for you to become more aware of your surroundings, and you instantly smile when you finally meet his gaze, which looks extremely relieved.
âHi.â Your throat feels parched, voice straining as if youâd swallowed a kilo of sand, but Simon thinks your voice never sounded so sweet to his ears.
âHi.âÂ
It hurts to move, but you do so anyway, slowly sitting up despite Simonâs protests just so you can see him more clearly and grasp his hand a little better. While you are busy cringing at the dull pain in your stomach from the stitches, he extends a glass of water for you, to which you grab and gulp down immediately, quenching your thirst and looking over at your partner with such gratitude an onlooker would have thought he was a literal godsend.Â
âHow bad is it?â Your voice still felt rough from disuse, but at least it sounded a bit more familiar to your ears.Â
âPretty bad.â He doesnât bother you with details; he knows you were never a fan of hearing about your wounds descriptively. âBut youâve always been tough.â
You flash him a grin that has him silently flabbergasted both with how beautiful you are and how quickly you seem to bounce back from a near fatal injury. Suddenly, you remember your last words before you blacked out, and your smile turns shy as you cast your gaze down to where your hands meet.
â...Did you mean it?âÂ
Simon has always been extremely observant and smart, he knows what you are talking about immediately, and you like to think he is smiling under the mask as he goes back to gingerly caressing the top of your smaller hand with his thumb.
âI did, sweetheart.â His voice is low, and every time he calls you a pet name it has your heart doing somersaults. âIâm sorry I don't have a ring yet and I don't know when we would have some time off to have a ceremony, but I want to marry yaâ. If youâll have me, that is.â
Feeling like your smile would grow so big it would rip your face, you beamed at him, acutely aware of how you must have been looking like a mess with a - hospital - bed head and tired eyes, but youâd hoped he could notice the hearts in your eyes as obviously as you felt them. Things always seemed to fall in place with Ghost; no need for extravagance or huge acts, and the fact that your marriage proposal was exactly that, made you fall even more in love with him. You watched lovingly as he raised your hand to press a mask covered kiss on the top of it, and shook your head, laughing gently.
âOf course iâll marry you, Simon.â
Fics take me so long because I write 10 words and then scroll mindlessly through 3 different apps for 2 hours
100 posts!
Ahhhh I can't believe I've made 100 posts already! It's been about a year here on tumblr and I'm so thankful for the positive interaction I've had!! Love you all so much!đ
This was so good! I'm honestly in love with this storyđĽşâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸
*Please do not plagiarise, copy, or repost anywhere else.
Pairing: 40s!Bucky x Autistic!Reader
*18+ only. Minors DNI. If you follow/reblog, please have your age (or an indicator of your age) in your bio.
Summary: Your time at the front has come to an end, and you return to London with the rest of the SSR team. While reuiniting with old friends, you make some new ones too, and can finally have some quality time with Bucky.
Warnings: Fluff, kissing, making out, suggestive stuff, talk about the war and invasions, found family, some cheesy musical numbers (yes, really). No smut in this chapter but it's coming soon, don't you worry!
Author Notes:
I don't know what I think of this chapter. Depression's been kicking my ass lately so I'm kind of doubting everything right now.
The character Thea is coded as having ADHD. Her traits are based off one of my best friends whom I adore (when we hang out we're a neurodivergent powerhouse).
As Iâve been writing Iâve also fallen in love with Thea as a character. Maybe I should do a spin-off about her. Click to read her bio.
The Windmill Theatre was a famous variety theatre that became best known for its shows involving nude models in still tableaus.
DISCLAIMER: The readerâs autistic traits are predominantly based on my own, but every autistic person is different and will display different traits in different ways.
Your friend, Thea, was a dancer. Or at least, a former dancer. The toast of the Folies Bergère and the London Criterion in the 1920s, she had since turned her hand to choreography and now directed shows at the Windmill Theatre.
Yes, that Windmill Theatre.
Your peculiarities balanced each other out. She could be forgetful, you remembered everything. She was disorganised, you were the very much the opposite. She was always late, your time management was impeccable. Sometimes it was carnage, but most of the time you were the perfect pair, and she was one of the best people you had ever met.
Right now you were using one of the public phones at the port, trying to liaise with Thea about collecting your key. She had been looking after your flat since you had been away, and you were trying to sort a good time to meet her.
So far, you were struggling.
"Is that tapdancing going on in the background?" You winced.
"Yes love, sorry. I'll get her to stop." You heard Thea move away from the mouthpiece and call out. "Sweetie, would you stop for a moment please? My poor friend can't hear me."
That wasn't strictly true, but it was easier to understand than 'my friend is sensitive to noise and can't focus on my voice while you're dancing and will probably cry if you don't stop.'
The tapping ceased, much to your relief.
"Sorry darling, what was I saying?"
"About my key. Our train gets in at five.â
"Yes! I gave Joey your key."
"Why does Joey have my key?"
"I'm in rehearsals when you arrive in London."
âI could meet you at the theatre?â
âItâs the sitzprobe for the Christmas show sweetie, Iâll be backstage.â
"Fair point! So where am I meeting Joey?"
"He's watching the rehearsals, so you can meet him in the auditorium. I'll let them know you're coming."
Thea's fiancĂŠ, Joey, was a lovely man. A former RAF pilot who had lost his right arm in action, he and Thea had met one night after a show at The Windmill and had been inseparable ever since.
It had been wonderful to see her so happy, and with a man who thought the world of her. Now, you couldnât wait to introduce her to Bucky.
"Can I bring a friend?" You asked tentatively.
"Of course you can, sweetie!" And you could hear she was beaming on the other end of the phone. âWait, a friend? Is this a pal, or did you find a nice gentleman out in Italy?â
âYouâll have to wait and see!â You giggled, wanting to tell her everything but knowing that you could be easily overheard in your current location. You also knew that you had only paid for a limited amount of time on the phone, and as soon as you started enthusing, you wouldnât stop.
***
You met Bucky in the corridor of the train when you were returning from the lavatories. You had been separated when disembarking the boat, which had made you quite anxious, so finding him again was a great relief.
Then again, travelling in general had always been incredibly stressful for you, the noise, the queues, all the people. You wished that you could magic yourself to new locations without the stresses and strains.
âHello, sarge!â You gasped, trying to hide how relieved you were to see him.
"Lieutenant, I need your services." He smirked, pulling you in and enveloping you in his arms. You hugged him back, realising just how exhausted you were in that moment.
âI was wondering where youâd got to.â You said softly. âWe were all ordered onto the train after collecting our bags.â
âWe had extra checks on our papers.â Bucky told you, rolling his eyes. âTook ages. Anyway, now that Iâve found you, can I have a kiss?â
âOnly if you say please.â You teased. Normally you didnât know how to joke with people, it was hard to know whether the joke would land or not. But with Bucky it felt different, you could read him because he was honest, and he was good at sensing what you needed, or asking if he was unsure.
Bucky straightened his back and raised one eyebrow. âPretty please. With a ribbon on top.â
You nodded, grinning broadly, before pursing your lips to meet his as he pulled you closer. He kissed you desperately, hungrily, not caring who might see.
âI have a compartment to myself.â You told him. âI was sharing with an old fart who smelled of peppermints, but luckily he had his eyes closed the whole time so I didnât have to speak to him. But now Iâm by myself. Come and join me!â
Your ramble made Bucky giggle, before he rested his nose against yours. âHmm⌠I think a bit of canoodling will definitely make the journey go faster.â He said with mock seriousness. âGood idea, lieutenant.â
For the remainder of your journey to St Pancras, you sat on Buckyâs lap in your compartment, curtains drawn, in each otherâs arms.
âI need to say something.â Bucky murmured as he snuggled his head into your neck.
âThat sounds ominous!â You didnât like when people said things like this, even if they ended up telling you something nice. I have something to tell you, we need to talk⌠those words never failed to fill you with anxiety. âI hope itâs not something bad?â
âOh no, itâs good! I promise!â He looked at your mouth for a moment before he spoke. âWhen I got captured, I never expected to survive. Then, when Steve rescued me by some miracle, all I wanted was to find some peace. Iâm just so tired and battered that I didnât think I was capable of⌠I never expected toâŚâ He broke off, thinking about what he was going to say next. âI never expected to meet someone. I didnât even think I was ready. But I feel safe with you. You donât expect me to be anything, you donât ask me to hide anything. I donât have to pretend when Iâm with you. Back in Brooklyn I was expected to put on an act, always be the charmer, always be the one in control, be the protector. But around you I can be vulnerable. Ah jeez, am I making any sense?â
You nodded, trying to stop yourself from crying with joy at his words.
âAnd I hope you feel as though you can be yourself around me, and be vulnerable if you have to. Because I wouldnât have you any other way.â He continued, before kissing your nose.
You didnât say anything in response, you didnât know how to put your feelings into words at that moment. Instead, you nodded, letting the emotion wash over you and the joyful tears fall. Gently, you covered his face with kisses, before nuzzling your face into his neck, pulling him close.
***
Suitcase in one hand, Buckyâs hand in the other, you led your handsome sergeant down the steps of the Windmill Theatre. As he saw the posters by the door, he gently tugged your hand and whispered in your ear.
âWait, is thisâŚ?â
âYes.â
âThis isâŚâ
âYes.â
âThe Windmill?â
âYes, the Windmill!â
âOh wow.â
âBut you wonât see anything of that nature today, Bucky. The girls wear robes during rehearsals.â
You were merely stating a fact, but Bucky snorted with laughter.
âBaby, I only have eyes for you!â He laughed. âBut I appreciate the heads up.â
âThereâs no need to be ashamed of wanting to look at a naked woman Bucky. Well, unless youâre a Peeping Tom, then itâs wrong. But these girls get paid and want to do it here. The real shows are stunning, they look like artworks.â You had gotten used to rambling in front of Bucky, because you knew it was safe to do so. He never told you to stop or shrink yourself. He said he found it endearing and sweet.
He put his arm around you and kissed your ear, before whispering into it, speaking slowly so that you could hear through your earplugs.
âI bet you look like an artwork too.â
You could feel your face go hot. Bucky must have noticed your shy grin, because he giggled and kissed you again.
âCome on, lieutenant, letâs get your key and get you home.â
The auditorium was less crowded than youâd anticipated, but you still wore your earplugs, just to be safe. The orchestra were already in their seats, warming up, but the stage was empty. Your heart leapt in your chest as you thought of Thea backstage, giving a pep talk to the dancers, buzzing with energy.
You couldnât wait to give her a hug.
In one of the auditorium seats you spotted Joey, dressed in his uniform and medals, empty sleeve pinned neatly. As soon as he spotted you and Bucky approaching, he grinned and waved.
âJoey!â You waved at him.
"Well hello there!" Joey greeted you in a loud whisper, his face beaming. You couldn't help but smile too as he pulled you into a hug. âItâs good to see you.â He said. âTheaâs going to explode with happiness!â He looked at Bucky then. âAnd is this your friend? Thea told me all about it. Good to meet you, chap!â
Your heart started to pound as Joey extended his hand for Bucky to shake.
âI didnât⌠I just mentioned I was bringing someone!â You explained, flustered, but Bucky was smiling.
âCall me Bucky. Itâs nice to meet you too.â He said, shaking Joeyâs hand, before slipping his arm around your waist.
Joey handed you your key, counting the keys on the loop first to make sure all were accounted for.
âThea told me to tell you, that she wonât be able to get away to say hello, but that Iâm to give you a hug from her, which I already have done, and she will see you at The Fighting Cocks tomorrow. She said to bring friends.â
The Fighting Cocks was your local. You liked it there, the pub landlady was lovely, the barmaids knew you, and it had a nice, quiet atmosphere. But âbring friendsâ â that was typical Thea. You had read Carl Jungâs theory about Introverts and Extroverts, and she was definitely in the latter category.
You liked making friends, it was just that too many people in one go could be a little overwhelming.
âWill you stay for a song?â Joey asked. âTheyâre really rather good.â
âWeâll stay for a song, then I think we best get going.â You looked at Bucky, who nodded in agreement. âAs for the pub⌠maybe we could invite Captain Rogers?â You asked him tentatively. Most of your other friends lived outside of London, and the only real pal you had made out in Italy was Fraser, and he was still out at the base. You werenât sure whether Peggy would join if you asked her. Sometimes it was physically painful asking somebody to spend time with you, only to be told âoh Iâd love to but Iâm just so busyâ. That always meant ânoâ.
âIâll ask the guys from the 107th too. Theyâd enjoy experiencing an old English pub I think.â Bucky smiled, although from his eyes you could see that the thought was making him feel tired.
As Joey smiled and beckoned you both to get a better view of the stage, you pulled Bucky close and whispered, âIf the pub gets too intense tomorrow, just say âcustard creamsâ to me and weâll leave.â
Bucky giggled, âWhat are custard creams?â
âTheyâre vanilla flavoured biscuits, although you canât often get them these days with rationing. I thought it would make a good code word.â
âCustard creams.â Bucky grinned. âIâll remember.â He stopped and looked at you as you found some places in the aisle. âThank you.â
âFor what?â
âI get tired quite easily these days. Itâs good to know I have an out tomorrow if I want to go home.â
âMy friend Judith and I used to do something similar at university parties. Around 1 oâclock in the morning people either get very sleepy or very loud, and it stops being fun. So we would say âI have to be up for the milkman tomorrowâ and that would be our code to leave.â
âWhy the milkman? Doesnât the milkman just leave the bottles outside the door?â
You shrugged. âPeople would be too drunk to apply any logic to the statement.â
Bucky giggled again. âWell, âcustard creamsâ is much easier to remember.â He said fondly.
Just then, the orchestra started, and the singer strutted on stage. He started a bright, energetic song. As he approached the first chorus, a line of dancers started to appear.
The rhythm of the steps, the piano, the singing⌠It was all so wonderful, the way it was affecting your body and making you want to move.
God, you had missed music. You had missed it so much.
You started to sway to the music, your hands up and waving in a manner you had seen stage performers do. Joey, laughing, joined you.
Bucky just wrapped his arms around your waist and swayed with you. His body was relaxing against yours, and although you couldnât see his face, you knew that he was smiling.
***
As Bucky walked you to your door, you threw your arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. The thought of asking him to go to bed with you had been on your mind since your kiss in the woods. In fact, you had been thinking about it constantly.
But just asking him âwould you like to come in and sleep with meâ just wasnât the way things were done.
âDo you want to come in for tea?â You asked instead. âThea said that my neighbour Mrs Penlington dropped round some things yesterday, so thereâs not a lot but we canâŚâ
âI have to report to the SSR accommodation unfortunately.â Bucky said with a furrowed brow. He took you in his arms gently. âTell you what, letâs meet tomorrow, before the pub thing with your friend. We can go for a walk in the park and have lunch? Then Iâll tell the guys to meet us at the pub.â
âYeah, yeah that sounds good.â You said, trying to hide your disappointment as he kissed you.
After Bucky left, you sat pondering over his words.
Safely in your flat, unpacking your things, refamiliarizing yourself with the old place, you replayed the interaction in your head.
Bucky was honest with you, always had been, so if he genuinely didnât want to come in, he would have said so, but sometimes people used excuses to soften the blow.
He saw you to your door, that was something. He came with you to the Windmill. He had time to do that, so why didnât he want to come in?
And you had spent half the train journey from Dover petting and kissing, and he had told you how much he cared about you, confessing his feelings.
Perhaps you were overthinking it all, but when you had mostly encountered dishonesty from people and had gotten used to deciphering their words like a tangled web, it was hard to tell your brain to work differently.
Maybe he was just tired. Heâs been through a lot. Heâs exhausted. Itâs understandable that heâd want some alone time. You want alone time, you always need it after work.
But Iâm here. All his. Why didnât he take the chance?
Maybe he was just tired.
***
âThis stuffâs good!â Bucky said, digging into the cottage pie in front of him.
The two of you had met for a walk in Regentâs Park, before finding a spot to have lunch. The restaurant was nice and quiet, just how you liked it, but your mind was still racing.
âSee, English food isnât all bad!â You joked, although you could hear the nerves in your voice. You were still pondering on the evening before, and were struggling to hide how tense you were.
Bucky finished his mouthful, and gestured to you with his fork. âWhatâs troubling you? Tell me. You kept staring into space when we were walking in the park.â
Here it was. You liked that your relationship with Bucky was based on honesty, but that didnât make it any easier to put your feelings into words.
âI suppose I was a little sad when you didnât want to come in yesterday. After the train journey and what you said about me maybe looking like an artwork I thoughtâŚâ You trailed off, suddenly feeling bad. âIâm sorry. I guess I get a little confused when things arenât crystal clear.â
Bucky swirled the dregs around his teacup. When he spoke his voice was sad and quiet.
âI was exhausted baby, Iâm sorry. I would have just fallen asleep, and I didnât want you to be disappointed.â
Told you. The poor boy just wanted to rest.
âI wouldnât have minded you falling asleep.â You told him.
âI know, I just needed some time alone after all that travelling and the excitement of the day. That and⌠there was something Steve said that was playing on my mind. I guess I needed to process it all. I didnât really know how to say all of that yesterday.â
You nodded, understanding. You reached out and held his hand, smiling when he lifted it to his mouth and gave it a kiss.
âWhat did Captain Rogers say?â
Bucky sighed and bit his lip. âI think Steve will want me back at the front with him. Not yet, but soon. He wants to stamp out Hydra, and I canât let him go alone.â
No. No, thatâs so unfair.
âBut you said you were tired! Youâve been given time to rest!â You protested.
âWe have some time here. Itâll be January when we head out, February if Iâm lucky. That gives me a month or two.â
âThatâs not enough.â You protested. âYou were⌠After what happened to youâŚâ You didnât want to put it into words. He had been through enough. He needed peace. He deserved it.
He took both of your hands, squeezing them again.
âBut do you understand why Iâll have to go?â
Slowly, you nodded.
âThe SSR might post me elsewhere too.â You conceded. âIâll have to go where they send me. Or, stay put in London until the war is won. I understand duty.â
âBut you know that doesnât change how I feel about you, and the fact that I want this to continue.â
âThis?â
âYou and me.â
You and me. Me and him.
Not caring who saw, you got up from your seat and moved to the other side of the table. Gently, you sat on Buckyâs lap, wrapping your arms around him and resting your head on his shoulder.
As Bucky cuddled you in response, he whispered in your ear, âThat old broad by the window is staring daggers at us.â
âLet her.â You replied, kissing his neck.
He chuckled, pulling you closer. âThatâs my girl.â He said.
***
A group of people could be overwhelming, yes, but this group you didnât mind so much.
Dare you think it, but you felt at home.
The boys of the 107th were a little boisterous, but you had to admit, they were a lot of fun.
You got on with Gabe the best. A fellow linguist, the two of you had started excitedly talking about your studies and what you loved about French and German. Jacques meanwhile was grateful to have another person who spoke his language, and you, him and Gabe had to halt your French banter and make sure that everybody else could understand you.
Morita and Dugan were sweethearts, even if they did have a propensity for sharing inappropriate jokes. You didnât understand some of them, but Morita was drunk enough to explain them to you. That was very much appreciated, and helped you understand the humour. Falsworth was a little posh and stiff upper lipped, but charming too. He had scolded Dugan and Morita for sharing such obscene jokes with âa ladyâ, but when you had informed him that the girls of the ATS were just as foul-mouthed, he had laughed along and relented.
You had also gotten the chance to speak to Captain Rogers too, or, as he insisted you call him, Steve. You had only spoken to him a few times at the base in Italy, and you found him to be an absolute delight.
When Joey and Thea had arrived, you had become overwhelmed with joy. She had swept you up into a tight hug, and had insisted upon meeting your âfriendâ.
When you had introduced Bucky, she had grinned broadly and winked at you, mouthing âI approveâ in a way that Bucky could see. It made him blush, and you hide your face in your hands for a moment, but it was lovely.
Joey had fitted in perfectly with Steve and Bucky, while Thea joined the little French circle with you, Gabe, and Jacques. She had visited Marseille, Jacquesâ hometown, for a holiday when she was employed at the Folies Bergère, and watching his face light up as they shared stories was lovely to see.
Usually, groups intimidated you slightly. There was always an expectation to act in a certain way, and the social rules were different. But tonight you felt relaxed. Perhaps it was Buckyâs presence, his kind nature, loving and accepting you.
Or perhaps, in a way, this rag-tag team felt more comfortable and safe than your own family.
***
âSo, the lieutenant here tells us that you used to be a showgirl.â Falsworth said to Thea, speech slurring slightly after his fifth pint.
âMore of a dancer really darling, but Iâm more of a choreographer now, although I can still do a very good high kick!â Theaâs enthusiastic rambling almost matched yours, and you loved it.
âDancing, huh?â Steve grinned. âI should pay you for some lessons, Iâve been told I have two left feet.â
âWell, I do a touch of singing as well.â
âYouâll have to serenade us!â Dugan added.
âAlright then.â Thea said frankly. âThereâs a piano here, and Marge the pub landlady has a wonderful collection of sheet music.â
She got to her feet, smiling, the rest of the group looking at her in amazement.
Thea had once told you that there was no point in feigning modesty. If you had a skill, you should be proud of it. You liked that motto.
âIâll accompany you.â You offered, standing to go and join her.
Yes, just like old times. You and Thea singing at the piano together!
Piano was something you had picked up as a child. It had been something to focus on, an escape, a way to keep your hands and mind busy while adults argued around you. Your grandmother had taught you the fundamentals before she passed away, and although you were no George Gershwin, you could accompany yourselves and others competently.
âWhat do you want to sing?â You asked Thea as you set yourself up at the piano with the array of sheet music.
âSomething from the music halls! Thatâs where I got my start after all!â
That didnât narrow it down very much.
âHmmâŚâ You flicked through the songbooks, until you found something. âHow about this? When I Take My Morning Promenade?â
âYes!â Thea cried, clapping her hands.
âIâll turn the pages for you, baby.â You heard Bucky say, and he appeared from behind you, standing by the piano.
Oh you sweet, sweet thing.
âAfter the last war, the old boys used to love this song. It reminded them of happier timesâŚâ Thea rambled as you set yourself up, Bucky primed and ready to turn the pages.
Thea started to sing, somehow giving the provocative song class and charm. Everybody in the pub was looking at her as she sang, and you couldnât blame them.
Everyone except Bucky, his eyes were only on you.
Well, you and occasionally the song book. Sometimes you had to tap his wrist to prompt him to turn the page.
As Thea finished her song, the whole pub erupted in applause. You and Bucky joined in. Theaâs singing never failed to make you smile, and it felt so amazing to be surrounded by music again.
As Thea gestured to you to extend the applause to her accompanist, you extended your arms and laughed, before shrinking rather shyly.
âNow letâs sing a duet, sweetie.â She said, coming over to the piano and taking a seat beside you. âYour choice.â
You knew the perfect song, no sheet music required, and as you began to play and sing slowly and with feeling, Thea was full of emotion.
âA lady known as Paris, romantic and charming, has left her old companions and faded from view. Lonely men with lonely eyes are seeking her in vain. The streets are where they were, but thereâs no sign of her. She has left the SeineâŚâ You sang.
You knew how much Thea missed Paris, her life there, and every piece of news of the occupation there broke her heart. Sometimes it helped to feel something, to sing about it, to mourn it, and thatâs what this song was for.
Thea took a deep breath and started to sing the chorus with you, harmonising.
âThe last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay, I heard the laughter of her heart in every street cafĂŠ. The last time I saw Paris, her trees were dressed for spring, and lovers walked beneath those trees and birds found songs to singâŚâ
You didnât look at Bucky as you played, focusing instead on your duet with Thea, but you could feel his eyes on you, sense the shift in his mood.
He was feeling it too. The sadness, the grief, the nostalgia.
âThe last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay, no matter how they change her, I remember her that way!â That line especially, you could hear Theaâs voice break slightly. Adapting your accompaniment, you shifted your left hand from the piano to hold hers for a moment.
As you and Thea finished the song, and you ended with a small flourish on the piano. The applause and sounds of appreciation were more muted, but still enthusiastic.
As you looked between your friends, new and old, and back at your handsome sergeant, there was a warm feeling in your chest.
Groups could sometimes overwhelm you, yes.
But this one here? This one felt like home.
Updated: 4-22-25
đ=Fluff
đ=smut
â¤ď¸âđŠš=angst
Can you make one where y/n is xaden's sister and he hates her for some reason she doesn't know about. Garrick finds her attractive and goes behind xaden's back to date her. After liams death Garrick is assigned as violets bodyguard (?) and because of that y/n and Garrick won't be able to talk much and she gets jealous a lot. Then one day xaden and her get into a fight for some reason and xaden accidentally finds out she's pregnant (he doesn't know she was dating garrick) he becomes concerned about her safety and explains why he hates her. Can you make it very angsty and the end fluffy?? Please
Sorry it took me so long to get to this! This sounds like an interesting fic and if a good plot line strikes me I will definitely write a story for this :)
Definitely reach out again! If they said they'd be in touch and they weren't be persistent! You deserve an answer at least from them!đ¤
Advice needed (if anyone sees this - if no one sees it, I never wrote it haha):
Should I, or should I not, try emailing the one casting director I know again?
For context, this person gave me a chance and sent me an audition a year ago. I didn't get the part, but they said they still liked the tape and would send me other stuff, but then I never heard back. So I chased them up around July 2021 just to check in and see if there was anything suitable for me that had come up, and didn't hear back again.
I mean, in all likelihood they're probably very busy, or I'm just not what they're looking for, or they've forgotten who I am because they'll have loads of people contacting them every day, but what's the harm in sending another polite email?
I honestly don't know how this 'put yourself out there/be persistent' etiquette thing works and I never have đ Don't wanna harangue someone, but it's hardly haranguing if I last emailed them in July, right?
Updated: 3-20-25
Oh this was so much fun! Here's mineâ¤ď¸
Something nice and fluffy and fun! It's simple: make a dress-up doll (or several), and reblog this post with your character. Make yourself, make an OC, make your favourite character - anyone you like!
If you have your favourite doll maker, you can use that, but I've included some suggestions below.
The two makers I've used are for femme-presenting folks, and were drawn by @ummmmandy đ
Her dress-up doll maker is here: https://www.dolldivine.com/dress-up-schmess-up.php
And here's the face one: https://picrew.me/image_maker/114808
There are also these fabulous sites where you can find dress-up dolls for different genres, characters, and gender expressions:
https://www.dolldivine.com/
https://www.azaleasdolls.com/index.php
https://meiker.io/games/tag/dress-up-game
(Although I'm a lot shorter in real life and my eyebrows are more wayward!)
Just a friendly reminder as I renovate my blog to start writing again! I've gotten an uptick in interactions/follows on my blog just since I posted yesterday for the first time in a while. While I love that my blog is being enjoyed, it is intended to be enjoyed by adults (those who are 18+) not minors. I will be going through my follower count today and blocking any minors that I missed during the time I was not active. I will also block ageless and blank blogs as well so if you intend to interact with my blog, please put something in your blog that shows how old you are(or even send me a private message if you arenât comfortable doing that!) and please donât lie about your age. I also have this posted in my blog rules that I will link here!
This blog is run by an adult who frequently creates and reblogs 18+ posts. It's not intended to be viewed by minors. If you are under the age of 18, do not follow or interact with me. "I'm mature for my age so I'm okay with seeing this!" is not a valid argument here. If I see you, you'll be blocked. You're welcome to come back and follow me when you are legally mature, but until then; leave.
â˘23 â˘18+ only â˘requests are open â˘kind of trash writing lolBlog Navigation
100 posts