Virginhater - Mildly Evil

youtube

picture this: u are high rollin at the craps table, youve had a few drinks, gettin a little crazy, the juice is loose, & just when the excitement is at its peak, u toss those bad boys, both dice start leaking a viscous fluid. thats the rare double slimes babey, & youve just won a million fucking dollars

what I wouldn't give to have the gastric constitution of a nine-year-old again. like you know when you're in grade school and you're like okay I'm gonna have some gushers and pizza and one of those dubious chalky grocery store cookies and then go run around with my friends! and now as an adult if I eat the wrong brand of peanut butter I have to lie down for an hour

how trump and elon text each other

i fucking hate fruit flies literally get out of my face im not a fruit

i bet on crazy frogs

haha i feel like we've got chemistry *starts sobbing and pissing a little*

sucks the edamame good and hard thru its pod

why cant i not go to work when i dont feel like it and still get paid