ONE OF THE BOYS

Hard times (part one)

roommate!eddie munson x roommate fem!reader (established friendship)

Summary: after getting your electricity and water shut off, you and your roommate are desperate for money, so desperate that you’re willing to have sex with each other on camera, but will your 10+ year friendship be able to with stand all the drama that comes a long with shooting a porno?

⚠️warnings: eventual smut 18+ mdni, financial hardships, angst, use of the nickname ‘mini’ no use of y/n, unwanted pining (one sided for now), eventual best friends to lovers, mentions of porn.

note: this concept is loosely based off of the movie ‘Zac and Miri make a porno’ (don’t forget to tip your writers with a comment and reblog)

wc: 3.3k

You were exhausted and you needed a shower, the day was long and you felt sticky and sweaty. So as soon as you and your best friend Eddie, who also happens to be your roommate, walk into the front door of your apartment, coming back from the closing shift you both worked at family video. You head to the bathroom and he heads to the kitchen for a late night beer.

You pull the baby blue shower curtain to the side as you work the knobs to start your nice steamy shower, you’ve been thinking about it since mid day. But you were most excited to slip on some pajamas, get into bed and cuddle under your fluffy duvet while some tv show plays in the background. You just needed to wash the day off, first.

As you sing a tune you heard over the video stores, speaker. You reach for your coconut scented body wash and loofa, washing your body down from neck to toes. Next, you move onto your hair, grabbing the blue ‘finesse’ bottle of shampoo that sat on the small window seal, you pour a generous amount on your hand, bringing it up to lather your hair that felt heavy from the excess hairspray you used on it this morning.

Once the shampoo is ready to rinse out, the water cuts off, leaving you in a state of shock, as the shampoo from your head begins to run down your neck, and onto your back. ‘What the fuck?’ was all you could think, as you began to play with the shower knobs trying to asses the problem, with no such luck you decide your next best option is to call for your roommate.

“Eddie!” You scream as you yank the curtain open, sticking your head out

You hear his loud boots barreling down the hallway, coming towards you.

“Yes?” He says as he cracks the door open, not wanting to stick his head in, in case you were indecent.

“I’m covered you can come in,” you sass

“Hey, just makin’ sure” He says with a smirk, as he walks in, putting the toilet seat down to sit on.

“What’s the problem?” He asks while studying your face.

“Did you pay the water bill?” You squint your eyes at him

“I thought it wasn’t due until Friday?” He mumbled

“No, it was due last Friday, Eddie! I told you that.” You didn’t intend for it to come out so brash, but given your current situation and your need for sleep, you were a bit more snappy than usual.

“Well, I had to pay for the parts to fix the van. I took some money out of the bills, but I mean I thought I had time to put it back.” He says scratching the back of his neck, as his shoulder deflate.

“Okay, well they shut the water off and I still have shampoo in my hair!” You whine, as you scrunch your nose up in anger. It came off way too cute to take to serious, and if Eddie wasn’t in a panic to help you, he would’ve teased you about it.

“Shit, okay okay, hold on. Let me find something to wash it out with.” Eddie says as he looks around the bathroom frantically.

“The toilet, grab that cup and get some water from the toilet, please?” You say as you motion your head towards the little white cup by the sink.

He grabs it before lifting up the toilet seat, only to gasp “fuck, I took a piss earlier and forgot to flush.” He says, cheeks a rosy pink as he looks back at you with sympathy.

“Eddie, not that water! Lift up the back, there’s clean water in there.” Pointing your finger towards the back of the porcelain bowl

“Oh yeah, I knew that.” He says with a small smirk as he dips the cup into the water and walks over to you, “okay, put your head back, I’ll get the shampoo out.” He motions you back with his free hand.

You tip your head back, gripping on the shower curtain for dear life as he begins pouring the water on your hair and scrubbing to get the shampoo out. His fingers were surprisingly soft and gentle, you almost got lost in the feeling of his nails scratching at your scalp. You and Eddie have been friends since kindergarten and have done many things together but this by far is the most intimate, you couldn’t help the butterflies that were erupting in your stomach. ‘It just feels really good, that’s it.’ You told yourself as Eddie continued to wash the suds from your hair.

After the shampoo was fully washed out, Eddie handed over your black silk robe that was hanging on a hook behind the door, you delicately placed it on your damp body, wrapping it around your front and tying it as tight as it would go, all while behind the closed shower curtain as Eddie stood on the other side, sat back on the closed lid of the toilet.

“So? I guess I’ll call them in the morning and see if they’ll give us an extension, at least until this friday.” He says as he bites the side of his cheek, arms crossed over his chest.

You open the shower curtain, stepping out onto the soft floor mat of the same color. “We asked for an extension last time, isn’t there like an extension limit or something?” You ask as you grab your toothbrush, applying a dollop of minty toothpaste before bringing it to your mouth. “Well I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.” Eddie says, glancing at the way the black robe hugged the curve of your ass before looking away, he stands up onto his feet, as he starts walking towards the door, it was getting too hot in here for him, and he almost couldn’t breath.

Before he was able to make it out, you turned towards him with your back up against the sink, toothbrush held in your hand as toothpaste suds covered the sides of your mouth. “What do we do if they don’t give us one? Where are we gonna get the money to turn it back on? Not to mention the late fees.” He could hear the worry in your voice, that was the dynamic of your friendship; you’re the uptight worrier while he’s the careless, laid back, “everything will work itself out” kinda guy. It was a good balance but that’s not to say it didn’t absolutely drive you up the wall.

“I’ll take care of it mini, don’t worry okay?” He gives you a small smile, before turning back to the door, “cmon Eddie we’re not kids anymore, can you please use my legal name?” You chuckle as you turn back to the sink to spit the rest of the toothpaste out, wiping your mouth on a wash cloth “you’ll always be my mini though.” He walks out, softly closing the door behind him and heading back to his beer he abandoned on the kitchen counter that was now dripping with condensation.

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Mini, was a name given to you for your small stature, you were petite growing up and nobody let you forget it. You would say you’re about average height now, maybe a little under average but somehow the nickname just kind of stuck.

You decided to worry about the whole water situation in the morning, nothing you can do about it now. You just really wanted to get into bed and maybe watch the arsenio hall show until you fell asleep, which is exactly what you did.

Eddie’s night most likely went how it always does; he drank all six beers, smoked some weed out of his sticker infested bong and then passed out while still in his clothes, classic Eddie.

The next day Eddie called the water company to try and work out an extension. He said he would try everything to get the water back on, but when he got on the phone the tech basically laughed at him, telling him there’s no way he was able to give Eddie an extension due to ‘the recurring late fees’ so basically you were shit out of luck on the water unless you had the full payment, it was the last thing you wanted to hear and you were in a sour mood because of it. You understood that Eddie did what he had to do, if the van hadn’t gotten fixed you’d have no ride to work for the money to pay bills, but that didn’t stop you from closing yourself in your bedroom and just wanting to be alone.

You and Eddie worked another closing shift, so you had time to sulk and brainstorm with yourself about how this could be handled. Come as you are by nirvana played in the background as you laid on your bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing for an idea, maybe something you could pawn or sell, you didn’t want to have to get a second job but that was your last resort.

You were so close to saying ‘fuck it’ to pawning the necklace you never took off, it was a name plate necklace your grandma gave to you the Christmas before she passed away, it was very special to you but you were that desperate.

As long as you and Eddie had been living together you’d never struggled this hard, but after Eddie got fired from his mechanic job (where he got paid way more than he was making now) for fucking one of his customers in the back seat of her car and getting caught by his manager Tom, you had no choice but to get him a job at family video with you, so this was your current situation.

You were quickly thrown from your thoughts when the radio on your dresser abruptly cuts off, you sit up looking around your room trying to decipher what happened, but when you notice the alarm clock on your nightstand and it’s lack of big red numbers, you scrunch up your face in confusion.

“Fuck!” Is heard from down the hall, you jump up, opening your bedroom door and making your way out to the living room where your roommate is throwing a fit on the couch, Doritos chip bag by his side, his white and red Reebok pumps hiked up on the coffee table, knees bent with his Super Nintendo controller in hand. “What happened?” You question. “Cocksuckers turned off the electricity, I told them I’d get it to them by Monday.” He says through gritted teeth, tossing his controller on the table making you jump from the loud clatter.

You wanted to be mad, but you couldn’t. Eddie was tough enough on himself after the whole being fired ordeal so you quietly padded over, plopping down on the couch beside him. “Well, I think I have an idea.” You say as you cross your socked feet, pulling them close to you. “Okay, let’s hear it.” His tone laced in defeat as he rubs his hands down his face.

“I can pawn the necklace my grandma got me, that should be an extra $250. I mean it’s not much but it’ll help with some late fees.” Eddie’s head snaps towards you, eyes meeting yours. “No, no way mini! I’m gonna figure this out okay? I know how much that necklace means to you and I’m gonna do everything I can before we have to start pawning our shit.”

“Ed’s, c'mon there’s not much else for us to do, I mean I guess we can get second jobs? We can donate blood, or-” you ramble on before eddie intervenes “I’m gonna start selling again, I’ll walk to the payphone and call Rick in a few and see what I can get, maybe he’ll front it to me and I’ll pay him back once it’s moved.” He says as he shakes his head while his eyes scan the living room.

“Eddie no, there has to be something we can do that won’t get you thrown in jail. You remember what Callahan said, one more fuck up and you’re going away for awhile. Let’s just look at our options here, okay?” You’re on the verge of panicking, if Eddie picks up selling again and gets caught he’ll be prosecuted to the fullest extent, as per what the new chief of police told him.

“Let me handle this Min, just sit there and look pretty, alright? I’m gonna get this taken care of. I promise, okay?” His sneakers hit the floor as he shoots up, walking towards the front door, he takes his leather jacket from the hook and throws it on before walking out. “Eddie please, just be rational, please!” You beg as the words ‘just sit there and look pretty’ bounce around in your head. You weren’t sure if you should be offended or flattered, but with the butterflies fluttering around in your insides, you realized it was the latter.

Eddie got back once you were ready for your shift. You decided since it was a pretty warm day that a button down floral dress, and your doc martens would suffice, next you threw on the always flattering green ‘family video’ vest. You walk back into the living room after pulling your hair into a claw clip.

Eddie walks through the door with a sullen look on his face, “how’d it go?” You timidly ask. “He gave me the fucking run around, talking in this bullshit code, anyway he said he can’t help me right now.” He shrugs, moving down the hall towards his bedroom, before he stops to look back at you. “I’m gonna go smoke and get ready for work, you wanna join?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec.” You say before joojing your hair a couple more times in front of the entry door mirror

You spent the remaining time before your shift laid out on Eddie’s bed as you both passed a joint back and forth, it was weird not being able to turn on some background music while you two talked like usual, and the apartment was starting to get humid even with the windows half open as a light breeze crept in. You were pretty sure there was something in this weed that was a little stronger than usual because you couldn’t take your eyes off of Eddie as he moved around his room, throwing on whatever clean band shirt and ripped jeans that were in his dresser. You’ve never noticed just how pretty he was. ‘Jesus Christ, what is in this shit?’ You asked yourself as you brought the joint back up to your lips and took another puff while your eyes continued to ogle the man in front of you.

“You gonna pass it, or you just g’na keep checking me out?” The daze you were under slowly faltering, as you notice Eddie with his hand stretched out towards you, waiting for the joint to be placed between his thumb and index finger, his eyebrow is cocked with an apparent smirk on his face.

His words immediately make your cheeks heat in a light pink hue, as a cough sets off deep in your chest at the prospect of being caught. “Yeah you wish, Ed.” You chuckle awkwardly, as you place the joint between his fingers, you quickly pull your hand back as if you’d been burnt when his index finger brushes against your own. You weren’t sure if you wanted to continue to sesh with Eddie if the weed was gonna make you feel like you had feelings for your best friend. ‘Yeah right, Eddie was like a brother to you.’ You thought to yourself, ignoring the icky feeling in the pit of your stomach at the brief notion.

You both made it to work with a couple minutes to spare, which was very rare as Eddie had a tendency to make you late for everything. Once clocked in, you began your work behind the checkout counter while also on rewind duty.

Eddie worked the floor, helping customers and putting away recent returns. In between Eddie would come up to you with new ideas on how to get some extra cash, every idea even more brazen than the next. Everything from begging for his old job back to panhandling on the corner of a highway, you were afraid his ideas were gonna continue to snowball into something even more unhinged as he paced in front of the counter you were sat behind.

“I think we need to come up with some rational ideas, okay?” You say, breaking Eddie from his internal crisis. “Rational? I’m being very rational, you’re just not thinking out of the box, Min.” Eddie chuckles before grabbing his cart of returns. He reaches to pick one up out of the pile, a sly smirk lighting up his once glum face. He holds up a tape of a bald man and a blonde woman in a rather provocative position, green stickers hiding their most private areas. He begins slightly waving it around “Duty calls. You know where to find me if you need me, just uh knock first.” He says with a wolfish grin. The whole one sided interaction has your stomach in loops, at the idea of Eddie touching himself in the ‘restricted area’.

It was a typical Wednesday night at family video, the lack of customers giving you ample opportunity to think. You thought about the possibility of having to move back in with your parents, you would do everything in your power to make sure that didn’t happen though. You couldn't go back to living with two people that barely even acknowledged your existence. You were beginning to come to terms with Eddie’s crazy ideas actually being plausible, it made you nervous but at this point you would do whatever he suggested.

“Holy fuck!” You were so in your head that the booming voice coming from the back of the store made you jump a foot in the air, you placed your right hand over your racing heart as an aid to facilitate the heavy thuds in your chest, but it didn’t matter with everything going on you were already on edge.

“Mini, come here!” Eddie shouted after drawing back the red curtain to the adult section. You keep your eyes on the door for a few seconds, making sure no customers would be walking in while you weren’t behind the counter. You make your way back towards the cackling voice of your best friend, you draw the curtain back, your eyes scan the little area before they land on him. A devious grin graces his face, it instantly makes you swallow the last of the saliva on your tongue, leaving it dry.

“What are you over here shouting at? Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack back there!” You cry out before swatting him on the shoulder. “Yeah, well once you see this you might have the same reaction.” He snorts while simultaneously trying to dodge your swat.

Eddie holds up the tape you’re assuming was cause for his startling reaction. “Not this again.” You groan, “no, no trust me you’re gonna wanna see this.” He lets out another cackle as he places the tape into your hands. “Do you recognize anyone on that tape?” He boldly asks, studying your face as you study the erotic picture in front of you, your eyes widen as you realize who you’re looking at.

“Steve?” The tape is new and the green stickers hadn’t been placed over their exposed body parts, your eyes catch a glimpse of Steve’s dick and your face flushes as you look back up to Eddie, your voice practically caught in your throat, while you stand there in shock. “Fucking Harrington, can you believe it? He’s doing porn now!” Eddie shouts, while he shakes his head. “Should give him a call and see if they’re hiring.” You giggle at your dumb joke.

Eddie’s eyes widened at your suggestion, like a lightbulb had just went off in his head.

“Mini, you’re a fucking genius!”

Thank you for reading!

Part two

•Taglist•

@livsters @prettypeachsworld @akiratoro420 @samanthasgone @dylpickleblog @lightcommastix @little-wormwood @gaysludge @emxxblog @eddieslittlewh0re @sillypurplemurple @lovely-lynn-writes @tlclick73 @ajkamins @dilfs-lover @lolalanaie @aocxdx @ambthegamer @alanamarie @josephquinncore @bebe07011 @bambipowerblueaddition @marriedtoeddie @chopper-witch @dissociatinginfp @stairwaytozai @edsforehead @itsametaphorbriansblog @haylaansmi @thoughtsoftheantagonist @paranoidmunson @totalmesstm @parkerloveer @elesoteri @chloes-files @melhoran @lezzy-bennet @killer-joy3 @aysheashea @wolfiepirate @mmvnsons @sluggzillaa @thehuntresswolf

I just spent 6 hours of my life reading what seems like every single Gareth x Reader post on this app. I’m slowly falling for this boy more and more with each one I read. I beg you writers out there to make more cause I just wanna read them and show sm love to them cause I’m catching feelings hard asf rn for him😭

u think i am joking but this is genuinely how i look while writing: “god, you’re so fucking wet” and “such a good girl” for the hundreth time in my miserable existence

set later in the Solar Lunacy timeline where the Daycare Attendants are rooming with the reader, drew this funky maintence guy during the art stream and twitch chat got too attatched to him

( Reader DID tell the Daycare Attendants that the maintence guy was coming over and to hide, but Sun just wanted to say hi \ and Moon is lowkey territorial since there’s no more daycare to patrol )

I dont even care about this guy but twitch chat has grabbed him.

Urgent Appeal for Gaza: Your Help Can Make a Difference

Dear Friends,

I hope this message finds you well.

saving lives changing lives

The situation in Gaza is truly heartbreaking. Over 1.5 million Palestinians have been displaced from their homes, leaving behind everything they once had. My name is Osama, and I am a displaced Palestinian working alongside a dedicated team called "A Sign of Hope." Together, we are on the ground, distributing critical aid to those who have lost everything, but the need is overwhelming.

Nearly 390,000 people are now crammed into UNRWA schools, while the rest are living in tents, facing unimaginable hardship. We are working tirelessly to provide food, water, medicine, and clothing, but we simply cannot do this alone. We need your help to reach more people who are desperately in need of relief.

Here’s how you can help:

Donate: If you're able, please consider making a contribution. Every dollar makes a difference. Your donation will directly help provide essential supplies and support for those in need.

The people of Gaza are in desperate need of your support, and together, we can make a meaningful impact. Your generosity can offer hope where it's needed most.

Spread the word: Please reblog my pinned post to raise awareness. Every share helps us reach more people and bring attention to this crisis.

Thank you for your compassion and solidarity.

With deep gratitude,

---

Bitchy & mean reader

Y/N was a spoiled brat

She got what she wanted

And she destroyed whoever got in her way

She wasn't nice

Popular because people feared her

Never bothered to have many friends

She doesn't do the fake shit

Boys wanted her

And wanted her bad

But she'd ruin them in seconds

Leave them wishing they never tried in the first place

The day she set her eyes on Eddie Munson

She knew he had no option but to be hers

She fucked him on the first date

Had him crying and begging in seconds

He was a gorgeous crier

Didn't bother to listen to the rumours when he came to school, neck covered in hickies

His puppy eyes following her every move

It happened to every guy in the school

Many felt bad for Eddie

Until they noticed he got special treatment

She actually talked to him the next day

Shoving her tongue down his throat in the middle of class

Grabbing his hand and moving it under her skirt in the bathroom stall

He felt like he died and went to hell

This girl was no way making it to heaven

She loved that he was a soft boy

Quickly protecting him everywhere they went

Two boys were shoving each other in the hallway, one ended up smacking Eddie into a locker

He groaned as he held his head

"WATCH WHAT YOU ARE DOING YOU PRICKS" she screamed. Shoving both boys as hard as she could.

Both smacking into the lockers behind them

Her heated glare disappeared in seconds when her eyes landed on his puppy eyes

"you okay baby?"

Or when a girl decided to trip Eddie in the cafeteria

Laughing as he landed harshly on the ground

She marched over to the table in seconds

Grabbing the girl by her hair and yanking her off her seat

"YOU TOUCH HIM AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU!"

Her eyes and tone soft as she helped him up

"it's okay baby. Let's go home"

Or when a server had the nerve to get his order wrong

Eddie excitedly took the bun off of his burger, preparing to drown it in ketchup

A small frown took over his face

"baby what's wrong?" She caught on quickly

"it has mustard. I hate mustard" he admitted quietly

Grabbing a knife and preparing to scrape it off

But she snatched the plate away, marching up to the counter

"BABY ITS FINE" he yelled quickly

Not wanting her to cause a scene

Her pink heels clicked on the floor as she waited

"can I help you?" The server asked

With a polite smile, "my boyfriend asked for no mustard. Would you be able to make him a new one please?"

She may be a bitch but she had manners

Unless they didn't have manners back

"I'm sorry ma'am but he never said that"

"you calling my boyfriend a liar?"

Eddie heard her voice getting mad

Quickly sliding out of the booth to calm her down

"baby it's fine" he said sweetly. Kissing her cheek

"no baby. You want no mustard and you ordered it with no mustard" she said sternly

"no he didn't" the server snapped back

"YES HE DID! HE WANTS A BURGER, SLIGHTLY PINK WITH NO FUCKING MUSTARD!"

Another time they forgot his extra pickles

"is your food right baby?" She asked sweetly

Her pink nails holding his hand

He nodded and lied through his teeth

"perfect"

She eyed his plate

"did you get your extra pickles?" She asked, noticing his plate didn't seem to have a single pickle on it

"no but that's okay. I don't really want them anymore"

But her ass was already walking away

Her tiny skirt flowing on her hips as she walked with purpose

Seconds later coming back with a plate of pickles

Free of charge :)

Eddie simply got whatever he asked for

She had money and she'd buy him anything he wanted

The blue guitar he kept seeing at the mall?

She bought it a day later

The leather jacket he tried on but put back when he saw the price?

She yanked it right off the rack, shoving it in her cart

If he wanted three types of candies at the movie theater, her baby got all three

She was a bitch

A stone cold mean asshole

But with Eddie?

That was her baby

And she would cherish him for life

bitter

*ੈ✩ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: ethan landry x reader

*ੈ✩ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: drunk confessions, .2 seconds of angst, no spoilers :)

*ੈ✩ 𝐚/𝐧: part 1 of 2!! i swear i promise, i pinkie promise that part 2 will come out today

you don’t get jealous, ever. 

it was your (albeit private ) defining feature. you were content with everything you had— no, beyond content: you were happy. you didn’t want anything else because you didn’t need anything else. you had a good family, enough money to keep you from debt, good friends, and even better academics. 

so imagine your surprise when you get that bitter feeling boiling in your stomach at the sight of your “friend,” ethan landry, eyeing another girl. 

you’re being very liberal with the term “friend,” but it’s only because you can’t think of a word to describe someone you’d been hanging out with for a few months, talking and treating them as a friend, but going home and imagining what it’d be like to fuck them senseless.

you’d probably call it a crush, but “friend” sounded much less embarrassing. 

but it’s all going on at some stupid party for some stupid celebration you couldn’t care less about; all you wanted to do was get drunk enough to barely avoid a hangover. you went with your small group of friends, and eventually forced yourself to socialize once you had some juice in your system. 

and it was when you were talking to some pretty girl from your liberal arts class when you saw him: leaning against the wall, red solo cup in hand, eyes stuck on a girl in a halter top with patterned shorts to match— a girl standing right across from you. 

and maybe it was something in the way his fingers were tapping on the plastic cup, or the twitching of his knee, or the way that he just refused take his fucking eyes off of her—

it set you off. 

suddenly you found yourself at a table full of cheap bottles of booze, and your plastic cup was full, brimming with whatever concoction of cheap seltzer and even cheaper tequila you could find. soon enough, you were weaving and dodging your way through the sweaty masses to try and find an exit.

finally, after eons (three minutes) of searching, you managed to find yourself a door, and relished in the early spring chill that hit your skin.

you tried to drink and forget, seeing as though that was the whole reason you came out here. but no matter how much jungle juice you downed, you found your mind wandering back to him.

you couldn’t stop thinking about how ethan refused to look at anyone but her, how even when people greeted him, he waved them off without even looking at them. and you couldn’t stop thinking about the way she was dancing, as if she was born to do so, and how he wouldn’t stop fucking staring at her.

you weren’t jealous— you didn’t get jealous. this wasn’t jealousy, it was just…

just what, envy? envious of what? of some dork you’ve grown particularly fond of eyeing some random girl at this stupid frat party? of the guy you’ve been harboring a crush on for months staring at a girl he didn’t even know? of ethan landry, the boy you hadn’t stopped thinking of for months, thinking about anyone but you?

no, you weren’t envious. what could you possibly be envious of?

“what are you doing out here?”

you jump at ethans voice, beginning to feel particularly sluggish— when did your cup get so light? as a matter of fact, when did it get empty?

“i could ask you the same thing,” you say, finding it increasingly difficult to formulate words. 

“it got too sweaty and crowded in there,” he sits down next to you, bringing his arms close to his torso at the sudden cold breeze. “i always forget how much i hate coming to these parties.”

“then why do you keep coming?” you raise the cup to your lips, frowning when you remember its lack of contents. 

he doesn’t say anything.

“is it because of a girl?” you see him tense from the corner of your vision, however foggy it may be. 

ethans shaking his head. “what makes you say that?”

you shrug, carefully placing the cup by your feet. “i saw you looking at her,” his shoulders drop, and you can’t help but feel something in your chest drop too. “she’s really pretty, i think i have a few classes with her.”

“i really don’t know what you’re talking about.” he feigns ignorance, the coward.

“come on ethan, don’t pretend to be stupid, i know you’re smarter than that.” a chill runs down your spine, you tell yourself its not from the sudden realization of your close proximity to him, but instead because of the cool air around you. 

“wait, are you…” he turns to you. “are you jealous?”

you scoff. “jealous? i don’t get jealous e—than,” you hiccup between the syllables of his name.

“you know, i have a tendency to misread situations, but you…” he pauses to take a dramatic breath. “you seem really jealous.”

“okay, sure but…why would i be jealous, hm? it’s not like i make the rules on what girls you can and can’t look at.” you’re staring into his eyes. those wonderful, beautiful, adjective-ful eyes that make you want to start screaming and shaking and crying and throwing up. 

you can’t stop looking at his eyes, and you can feel your gaze flitting between the two.  

you want ethan to quip back with something sharp and cleaver, but he doesn’t. he just turns away from you, shrugs, and keeps on nursing the drink in his hand. 

for a moment, you feel guilty, another feeling you hadn’t experienced in a while. maybe that made you a good person, or maybe that just made you a socially inept asshole. 

you don’t know why you feel guilty, but you suspect it has something to do with how silent ethan is, or how his brows are leaning with regret, or how his shoulder are slumped much more than they were a second ago. 

“i wasn’t looking at her,” ethan mutters, breaking your shared silence. “i was…looking at someone else.”

you want to curse him out because, really, why did it matter if he was looking at another girl? it was someone who wasn’t you, and that’s all that mattered. 

“i don’t care ethan, it’s not that serious—” you cut yourself off when you turn to him, frozen in how quickly you drown in his puppy dog eyes. 

and then it hits you. 

he wasn’t looking at that girl, he was looking at someone else.

he was looking— 

“at you.”

oh.

oh.

you want to say something, you really do. in any other situation, if it played out exactly like this but minus the alcohol, you’d be able to come up with some poetic ass speech about love and devotion and life—

but you’re drunk, and you can’t think. you don’t want to think. 

so instead, you act. 

instead, you kiss him. 

your hands are grasping at his shirt and you’re kissing him hard. you don’t care if it’s sloppy or bad, you just care that you’re kissing him.

and, obviously, ethan cares too. 

because in a moment, one of his hands are brushing the crook of your neck, and his other arm is shaking around your waist. you know your breath tastes like black cherry white claw and dollar store tequila, but with the way ethan was kissing you, it was as if you were the best thing he’d ever had in his life.

it’s like he’s starving— as if he’s been waiting for this for months. and you wonder, passively, if he’d been pining for you all this time as well. you want to ask him, but asking him would mean you’d have to stop kissing him, and at this point you’d rather die than have that happen. 

so you’re quick to pull yourself onto his lap, stradding one of his thighs. you’ve just started to work with the hem of his shirt and god just feeling his v-line makes you dizzy— but ethan pulls away, and you feel your jaw slack at the sight of his lust-blown pupils and spit-kissed lips.

“as much as i want this to happen,” you note how heavy he’s breathing. “i really wouldn’t want to have sex with you on the front steps of a house party.”

you’re standing up with a curt nod, pulling ethan by the hand as you back up.

“also my room is like, twelve minutes away—”

“my house is just down the block, and my roommates are gone for the weekend.”

ethan glances towards the direction that you gestured in, and nearly trips over his shoes as you start walking towards it. 

“yeah, that actually sounds perfect.” 

all the way home, neither one of you can stop imagining what it’s going to be like to get fucked senseless.

Im here to ask for some Riddler hc with a male s/o

Please all of the ones in the tag are just fem or just an extremely feminized reader. I just want to kiss the incel and not get dysphoria orz

I hope this is good! ^^

---

In the dim, neon green light, your eyes adjusted to your surroundings. You had once again been ordered over intercom to move from room to room into whatever hideout or safe house or riddle nightmare dungeon The Riddler had squatting in.

You hadn't known what had made the man pick you. You weren't necessarily out of the ordinary, didn't stand out more than any other citizen of Gotham. You weren't especially wealthy or powerful. The Riddler should have had no real reason to target you. In fact, you couldn't even recall having seen him before, outside of news reports.

The only thing you could call back to was the strange feeling that you had been watched for the past few months. You had waved it off as a paranoia, and now you had come to regret it. This was Gotham, after all. If someone felt as though they were being watched, there was at least a chance of it being true.

Though luck hadn't been on your side in that matter, it had at least been in your grasp during the riddle trials he subjected you to.

You awoke here, in the dark, in one of the seemingly endless rooms you found in the building Riddler stuck you in. It had taken a few minutes for you to truly wake, to shake the grog from your mind as you adjusted to the dim light.

Feeling your way around the room, you had found a letter. Squinting your eyes, you made out the message.

It is priceless, but it comes to you for free. What is it?

Your heart sunk, your eyes going wide and mouth dropping open in horror at your circumstance. Your heart radiated in your chest, breathing becoming shallow and fast as panic and adrenaline overtook you. It took everything within you to keep your legs from going weak and slumping to the floor in hopelessness.

Oh, God. Oh, God, why you? You hadn't even seen the guy in person before! What did he want from you?!

Trying to get your breathing under control, you read over the riddle again. It is priceless and comes to you for free...

Glancing to your side, you could spot the outline of a door that hadn't been visible to you before. And beside the door was a receiver, most likely in which to give your answer.

Slowly, you approached, note still in your shaky hands.

Priceless and free. Was it... Silence? Silence was golden, and it was free.

You took a shaky breath, slowly breathing out. "Silence?"

The speaker fizzled to life as you heard a voice imitating a buzzer. "Not quite! Try again."

If your mind could have made a noise at that moment, it would most assuredly be the sound of an old dialup computer as it tried to process what just happened.

The Riddler. The Riddler had spoken to you. Bad told you that you had gotten his answer wrong. And you were still alive. Not that you were complaining, but this was normally the part where he started killing people.

Try again. He wanted you to try again. Well, not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, you thought over the riddle again.

It is priceless, but it comes to you for free. What is it?

Your eyes practically burned a whole into the paper, as though hoping it would reveal some sort of secret. This wasn't even fucking fair, anyway. You could know every riddle on Earth, but put someone in a life-or-death situation, and it's no wonder they forget everything!

He was probably running out of patience. He could kill you at any moment.

Licking your lips, you decided on your answer.

"... Love?"

Almost immediately, you heard the sound of a lock being opened, and Edward's voice flooded into the room.

"You got it! I knew you would...~"

For a moment, you simply stared at the door, unblinking. You took in your situation, at what the criminal had just said, at the both terror and relief at still being alive.

Eventually, taking a deep, shaky breath, you forced yourself forward, hoping that once you stepped out of the door, you'd be free.

Of course it couldn't be that easy. You barely made it through the other trials Edward had put you through.

You were placed into another room, with another note.

I am round, thin and shiny, and often studded with stones; I am one symbol of a relationship. What am I?

A timer began to tick down as you took in the room. You knew you needed a ring - but which one?! The dark room was littered with them. On the floor, on tables, hung up on hooks. Metal rings, copper rings, rings that toss at carnival games. Throwing yourself to the floor, you dug and sifted through the different rings that were on the floor.

30...

You pawed at any of the rings on the floor, hoping that touching them would count as an answer.

25...

But what if that doesn't count? Did you need to wear them?! You began fumbling with them to put them on, sliding the bigger rings onto your wrists like bracelets.

20...

Your hands shook with adrenaline as you looked over the rings on the table. Your anxiety and the low light made all the circles blend into one blobby shape as you tried to figure out which one was the right one. You held back sobs as you tried to deduce which one was right - if there even was a right answer.

15...

You jumped, hearing a clicking noise to your left. Whipping your head about, you spotted it: One of the rings that were hung on a hook, suddenly illuminated in green lighting.

10...

You flung yourself over to it, your whole body shaking as you wrestled the other rings off a finger.

5...

You couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't hold the thing without dropping it, your vision going fuzzy with tears. This is it, you were dead!

5...

You managed to pick it up on your second near-blind swipe at the ring.

5...

Had... Had the timer stopped?

You never took your eyes off the timer as you put on the ring, unblinking.

Another unlocking noise.

"Such a smart cookie!" The Riddler spoke again. "And Batman has the audacity to say he's the smartest man in the city!"

You were pretty certain Batman had never said anything like that, but weren't exactly in a position to argue.

Another room, another life-or-death riddle.

When it comes to both you and matters of the heart, it can break you under the wrong amount of pressure. What am I?

Luckily, the walls closing in on you steadily lead you toward the answer rather quickly.

"A crush!" You screamed.

In an instant, the walls returned to their original positions. As the door unlocked, Riddler praised you once more.

"It's incredible how witty you are in dire circumstances. It seems we have a lot in common!"

And the final room. You head felt fuzzy as you tried to recall what happened before you lost consciousness.

A knife. And a note that read, What is mine, but only you can have?

A body on the ground. A woman. You felt sick. You knew that riddle. The answer was "my heart", but what was thr body for?

"My heart!" You announced.

"You're very close, dear."

You swallowed, turning your attention back to the woman's body. God, you felt like you were gonna vomit. Slowly, you searched the woman's pockets. She felt deathly cold even through her clothes. Pulling out a wallet, you opened it.

Maya. Maya Hart.

Your eyes flicked back to the knife, and an image flashed into your mind that made you retch.

No. No, no, no, no, please, God, don't let him make you do this. You didn't want to. Even if she was already dead, she was still a person...!

But, he'd never let you out of here if you didn't solve it.

You didn't even recall picking up the knife. Just the feel of it in your hands. The flash of metal in the dim light. The sick sounds and how her blood looked so black in the light. The feel of the already cold organ in your hands as you barely kept yourself from becoming sick.

My heart.

And then... You couldn't recall the next moments after that. The Riddler had probably stuck up on you, attacking from behind and knocking you out somehow, and here you were. Tied up in another room, restrained in a chair. Waiting for death. Or worse.

You kept your head hung, as it had been when you awoke, waiting for the inevitable. Or maybe stalling the inevitable. Either way, you waited in the darkness until the weight and strain of your position grew to be too much.

The cracking of your back hadn't made you gasp, but it sounded like someone else had. Someone in the same room as you.

Him.

He was here with you the whole time.

"Ah, finally! I've been waiting for you." The Riddler cooed as he looked upon you, helpless in your restraints.

With all the courage you could muster, you locked eyes with him. "What... What do you want from me?"

"Just one final riddle, my love. I promise."

Your eyes shot open wide, stuttering out a barely formed series of sounds. His... His love?

Before you could even process the previous sentence, he continued. "What is the fabric of your shirt made of?"

The fabric of your shirt? What the hell? You could barely even remember where you had bought the thing, let alone what it was made of! What were shirts usually made of? Cotton? Polyester? A mix of both-

As you feverishly wracked your brain for an answer, The Riddler used that distraction to swiftly move in, swooping down to your sitting position to press his lips against yours. A gloved hand rose to cup your cheek, a thumb stroking softly at your jawline. He hummed into the kiss, pressing even deeper into it, before pulling away.

Edward chuckled at the shocked look on your face, grinning wide ad he gave you the answer.

"One hundred percent boyfriend material."