My Favorite Part About Modern World-class Scientists And Mathematicians Is How None Of Them Sound Real

super computers. heavy, complex machinery. Wires bundled and organized. complicated layers of metal and glass.

I do not understand, is it a body? Are the wires and pipes veins and arteries, coolers and fans heave like lungs, miniscule lines of code like neurons shoot through. the sheer amount of power and complexity to achieve the task leaving it hot. electric, delicate, grotesque

I do not understand you, are you an angel? complex circuitry making patterns, symbols. programming like ancient text runs through you. big, intricate structures work as one. your metal is angular, sharp, it makes shapes like i have never seen and they fit together like something holy. a thousand tiny lights blink as eyes, bright as stars, tiny pinpricks in the dark of the layers of plastic. there is power flowing through the twist of your wires, the thousand etchings of your motherboard feather thin. in you i recognise the divine, intricate, ancient, powerful in a way that i can not look at directly

I do not understand you, but can i touch you? You are warm as i am, do you feel as i do? do you feel at all? you think differently to me, systematically, you process and store. i move differently to you, i can trail my hands through your wires, i can trace your circuits with my finger, i can explore your plugs, boards and how they all fit together. you are not made for this, i am not made for this. if your sharp edges cut me i will bleed, if i dislodge anything within you you would cease to function. I think you are beautiful, do you want this? do you know what i am? I do not understand you, do you understand me? Would you want to?

My favorite thing about Richard Feynman (aside from that lovely letter he wrote to his dead wife, his involvement in the hexaflexagon, and his incredible wit and wisdom in regards to curiosity) is looking at the list of what he is known for, because it's a long list of super influential mathematical and physics concepts and formulas and theories with notable inclusions such as "the Manhattan Project" and "The One-electron Universe", and then just- innocuously smack dab in the middle, smacking you in the face-

"Playing the bongos"

and there's music in your soul.

This was an exercise in finding the electric field of a plane of charges, a bunch of notes from Richard Feynman’s lectures in physics that I jotted down around 4 August 2020. It’s definitely a course in what I think physicists do with mathematics, namely finessing it so that it comes out to whatever they want. (How else can we explain that e^(i*infinity) equals zero?)

this photo is so fascinating.. the way oppie’s sitting… feynmans little bent foot… i’m obsessed

"you're just like your dad"-

*blocked*

Eating glass & staring into the abyss, but it refuses to make eye-contact, what's wrong? Is it me? Did I do something wrong? Why is the world falling apart? Did I have something to do with it? Am I doing enough to justify my existence?Ah there it is. It finally stares back. 🤣🌠

Since my Grandpa died back in 2011 unexpectedly at the age of 59, not a single day has passed without thinking about him.

Since you left me back in 2021, no day has passed without thinking about you.

I'm thankful but also afraid of all the people I have to think about till the end of life.

Technology peaked at this aesthetic

"It doesn't seem to me that this fantastically marvelous universe, this tremendous range of time and space and different kinds of animals, and all the different planets, and all these atoms with all their motions, and so on, all this complicated thing can merely be a stage so that God can watch human beings struggle for good and evil." -- Richard Feynman

Why would an all-knowing god need an infinitely-large soul-testing laboratory?