I Think I Got The Major Ones

“omg you’re so creative. how do you get your ideas” i hallucinate a single scene in the taco bell drive thru and then spend 13 months trying to write it

negative affirmations

I can be worse

I still have time to fuck things up

I can kms any time I want

do we think blond men are born evil or does some tragic event occur with all of them in their formative years

you knock on my door and hear loud barking and scrambling noises and me yelling "no!! down boy!! down!!!" and then when i open the door there is a single crab on the floor

I'm not like the other shrimp

*trapped in trolls cave, weaving under their oversized rudimentary furniture while they chase me down*

troll with cockney british accent: maybe we'll boil em... mash em... puttem in a stew, let him roast in 'es own juices.... my belly's rumblin just thinkin bout it!

other troll in a normal white guy voice: Oh Ooh maybe we could try a little quinoa salad

some cats

Me: im trans

Snake: Hrm... trans huh? give me a moment

Snake goes into a box and calls up his husband

Snake: Otacon, this lady dropped a piece of intel in regards to herself, do you know what "trans" means

Otacon: Snake, that's short for the term "transgender" a phrase used for those who's identity doesn't align with their asigned sex, some use hormones or surgery to better fit their lifestyle

Snake: Chemical and Surgical modification huh? they're like supersoldiers but they choose to change to fight for their own spirits rather than a nation...

Otacon: Remember snake, being "trans" is an umbrella label, many in the community identify beyond our common gender binary, including traditional cultural gender roles or wholly new ones

Snake: A wide variety of genders, such diversity not only make them unpredictable but increases practical versatility, impressive stuff

Otacon: oh this is just like Lily Hoshikawa from my Japanese animes

Snake leaves the box

Snake: You're pretty good huh? this trans stuff sounds intense, you have my support as a fellow soldier