I Would But I Can’t Feel My Legs

I would but I can’t feel my legs

A/N: This is prompt 27 <3 Hope you like it lovely anon! 

The sexual tension had been too much for anyone to stand. You had seen him, because you had texted him we’re at 5 things I like. It was a tradition by then since six years prior when your friend Ellie had turned 18, you had created the biggest bar hop of all times and then you did it every year. People had summed up during the years and so had Harry, just three years ago. 

You had met Harry through Suz. She had met him, at some set where he was shooting something and she was the lighting technician, and she had had this big, almost senseless crush on him for so long until this one day, she didn’t know how to attract his attention anymore- cause for him she was nothing but a friend- and so she had called you because you were fun, she had said, and everybody loved you. You weren’t sure whether that was true- after all, Suz had been your best friend for years- but the truth was Harry and you had immediately hit it off. 

All your girlfriends had joked about it, about how you had stolen Suz’s crush unintentionally and despite the fact that of course you found him attractive- you weren’t blind- since Suz was your best friend, and you knew she was only half joking when she said she would kill you if you ever flirted back, you had kept your distance from him. Granted, you were friends, you were good friends, you would hang out, have pizza at his flat, have a few beers at some pub when he was in town, sometimes with Suz and sometimes alone but you always kept things strictly friendly. 

Suz used to complain about how he barely texted her back and you nodded along, never letting her know he texted you almost every day. Suz was your best friend and you would never do that to her but at the same time, you knew her obsession with him was something physical and it kind of bother you a little that she would see Harry that way, as a piece of meat, when he was so much more than that. She used to say he was plain, boring, the typical guy with the typical guy’s conversation but that was not true, that was not true at all, it was just that she wouldn’t get to know him because she was annoyed that he had rejected her in a sexual way- Suz wasn’t used to rejection- she was beyond gorgeous. And it kind of bothered you, that you had to reject him yourself despite the way you felt- something you couldn’t help however hard you tried- simply because she wanted to be wanted by him. 

So you had texted him that day, because she had encouraged you to do so so she could see him and you felt, and it was bad of you to say it, you felt a little belittled by her because she didn’t even see you as a threat, did she? For she was so much more gorgeous than you and yes, she was your best friend, and yes you knew that- all your other friends would say that Harry must have been gay to say no to Suz for she was a goddess, but it kind of made you feel insecure even though it shouldn’t but…

What am I doing here then? He snapped you a picture of the pub he was with lots of your other friends and it made you smile, that he wouldn’t care about any of that. If you weren’t there, then he was in the wrong pub. You had seen Richard was with him so you had encouraged Suz to change pubs and meet him there instead of making him come and because she wanted to see him that very minute, she had playfully forced you to down your drink in a minute. Enough to have you tipsy that was. 

Harry grinned like a child opening a present when he saw the three of you walking inside. Suz had brought his new friend with benefit, this John guy from Belgium she had been sleeping with and it was your job to keep him entertain as she tried to attract Harry’s attention but as usual, Harry grinned and hugged you tight. 

“Bird!” 

He had started calling you bird after a month of knowing you, because a bird had actually shitted on your head while the two of you were having a cup a coffee. He had cleaned it off your hair but he had laughed for a long time after that and ever since then the nickname had stuck with you. 

“Suz!” He grinned and hugged her as well, shaking John’s hand and introducing himself. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders immediately after and smiled at both Suz and you. “Come on, I want you to meet some people.” 

Suz was walking behind you and you weren’t sure if he had meant you as in you or as you and Suz. You had noticed John’s face dropped and you almost felt bad for him even thought you knew he didn’t really care. Harry introduced the two of you to his band mates and your stomach tightened when he started to say this is Suz and this is my bird because you didn’t want it to happen again. You had lost your best friend when you were sixteen because her boyfriend, who was your best friend as well, had fallen in love with you- or so he said. 

So as soon as you met Harry’s friends, you saw your chance of mingling with them, so Suz could have Harry for herself. You were casually chatting to Sarah when Harry took your drink and placed it on the table, grabbing your hand and taking you to the dance floor. He smiled as he placed your body against his, his hands on the lower part of your back. 

“I knew you’d get along with the band.” He smiled. “I’ve been waiting forever to introduce you guys.” 

“Well you don’t stop touring the world, mister.” You smiled. 

“I know.” He chuckled. “And I’m having the time of my life but I’m so happy to be here now, to see you, you know? I miss you when I’m on the road.”

“Yeah, we all miss you too.”

“I was talking about you.” He pointed at your face. “I mean of course I mean everyone else too but…” He shrugged, smiling sheepishly. “You know.” 

You only nodded, your heart was beating faster than it should and he was getting closer but you turned your head and scaned the crowd to find Suz, looking at you with puppy eyes. You hated that this was probably hurting her and so you started joking with her, telling her she had the best dance partner because she was dancing with John and after joking about it for long enough, Harry got the hint and changed dance partners, grabbing Suz’s hands and giving you a tight smile. After a couple more songs, he made his way to the bar with the rest of your friends were drinking. 

“She’s just not into me, eh?” Harry whispered to Ellie as he glanced at you and Richard dancing like the scandalous idiots you were. 

“Who?” Ellie asked, hoping he would say Suz but knowing he was going to say your name. 

“Y/N.” He said as if it was obvious. “She looks so perfect tonight and I just want to hold her you know? But she’s just like elusive.” 

Ellie knew it all. You had talked to her about it and she always support the fact that you didn’t act on those feelings and kept avoiding him so she and Molly where the two people in charge of keeping the two of you apart when you had had one too many but that was enough, she thought. It had been nearly three years, three fucking years, you had been respectful enough. 

“She likes you too.” Ellie blurted out as she brought her beer to her lips. “It’s just… Suz, you know.” 

“So who’s this John then?” He asked, glaring at the way he was apparently flirting with you. 

Their conversation was cut short as both John and you walked towards the bar, laughing.  

“Well Claire is beautiful, eh?” You wiggled your eyebrows. 

“I guess.” He shrugged. “But so are you.” 

“Well thank you.” You laughed. 

“Good dance?” Harry interrupted, snapping. 

“Yeah.” 

He was jealous. Of course he was jealous and he would probably sound ridiculous if he said it out loud because as much as he wanted you, all the time, there was nothing more than one of the best friendships he had ever known between both of you. You were his best friend, simple as that, but he also thought of you in the mornings when he would wake up with a hard on only to realize he had dreamt about you. Again. 

And his eyes would drop to your mouth whenever you drank from a straw and he would wrap his arms around your waist and pull you close whenever you were dancing and tonight, tonight you looked so beautiful and that jumpsuit of yours, backless and fluffly was driving him crazy so what was that John guy doing telling you you were beautiful? Of course you were beautiful but you were his, not John’s and he had had enough of that so he bought a rose- because there was a woman selling roses on the bar- and he bought one and cut the surplus stem and tucked it on your ear. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” He whispered in your ear as he placed his hand on your waist, pulling you to him and making sure John saw that. “Because now you look way too beautiful.” 

You were blushing and he was so close so you were sure he was hearing your heartbeat. You swallowed and he smiled against your ear, caressing your bare back with one hand. 

“Sit down with me?” 

He grabbed your hand and you walked towards the table where all his friends were sitting and before you could take a seat yourself, he pulled you on his lap. 

“Just stay close, yeah?” His green eyes looked into yours, moving your hair to the side so he could see your skin. “I’ve missed you.” 

He pressed a chaste kiss to your bare shoulder and you wrap your arm around his shoulders as you sat sideways on his lap. Mitch kept bringing you drinks and you kept drinking because you were happy and Harry was so close. His hand was caressing your thigh and you had tangled your fingers on his hair, making him smile at you before he threw his head back and sighed in appreciation. 

The alcohol running on your blood was making the dim light look kind of hazy and the music sounded louder then so you had to lean on Harry when he talked to you. He’d whisper in your ear as his hands rested on your body, in places a friend wouldn’t really have his hands. 

“I love how you smell.” He whispered and his lips, you weren’t sure whether it was on purpose or because he was intoxicated himself hit your skin. “And this jumpsuit…” He held the fabric on his hand.

“What about it?” You had turned your face so you were facing him then. 

Your faces were so close you could feel his breath hitting your skin. His hand travelled up your thigh. 

“You shouldn’t wear these things around me.” He smirked. 

“You don’t like it?” 

He rolled his eyes before he smiled at you, his eyes dropped to your mouth, once, twice and he leaned in but Suz, Suz, Suz so you turned your head and his lips landed on your cheek instead. You hugged him so he knew, he had to know, and you hide your face on his neck, breathing in his scent. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. “I can’t.” 

He just looked into your eyes. He didn’t want to pressured you. He didn’t want you to feel like you had to. If you can’t, or if you didn’t feel like it, then that was that but then Ellie cleared her throat next to you and you looked up at her with a frown. She was smiling. 

“Will you go to the toilet with me?” She smiled. 

You got up from Harry’s lap and laughed as he held your hand playfully, not letting you go for the first few seconds. Ellie gently pulled you to a wall and shook her head at you.

“Go for it.” She said. 

“But-” 

“But it’s been almost three years and he doesn’t like Suz, he doesn’t like her. He’s head over heels for you! And you like him too so how is that fair? The fact that you guys are not together isn’t going to make him like Suz.” 

“But Suz-”

“But Suz will get over him, more so if he’s with you.”

“I thought you-”

“I know what I said but… Listen, Suz sleeps around with other people and she says she’s in love with Sean anyway and then she’s got this thing with Peter and John but…. What about you? You don’t sleep around, do you? You don’t even date because you’re in love with him! So go for it, girl.” 

“I can’t do that to Suz.”

“But you can do that to him?” 

You looked away, at Harry who was scrolling on his phone, and you looked farther away at Suz and Molly who were talking to some guys at the bar. Molly gave you a thumbs up and you rolled your eyes. Suz was in love with Sean. She had said that to you. She was going to visit him in Scotland in the summer and you… What did you have? 

When you got back to your friends, they were all waiting at the door to go to the next club and Harry wrapped his arm around your shoulders as you made your way there. He told you about the cities he had visited and about how much you’d like the people he had met and when you reached the club, you took him to the dance floor as soon as you entered. 

You danced for a few songs and you kept thinking what if it could actually work? What if you could kiss him right then and there? What if he could grab your bum or kiss your neck or take you home and make love to you? What if you could tell him you loved him? 

So you grabbed his hand and placed it on your hip as you pressed your back against his chest. You heard him swallow behind you and you felt your heart beating faster and faster as you hoped he would be okay with that. You deserved it, you deserved him if Suz had Sean and Peter and John, you could have Harry, right? You deserved him so you brought your hand to the side of his neck and brought your face closer to his, pressing a kiss on his cheek as you swayed your hips against his. Left, right, left, right, and his breath was hitting your cheek and his grip on your hips, both hands now, was tighter. 

“Y/N…” He whimpered from behind you so you turned around, you looked into his eyes, his pupils dilated making it hard for you to spot the green on his eyes. 

And then you leaned in and you kissed the corner of his mouth and that was the closest you had ever been to his lips and you pulled away and he followed, he wanted the real thing, he needed the real thing by the way he was pushing his bulge against you but you looked ahead. 

“Can I kiss you?” His voice sent a shiver down your spine.

“I want you to but I don’t want to ruin Suz’s night.”

He pressed kisses on your neck then, because he could do that without it being so obvious and he couldn’t- for the life of him he couldn’t- stay away from you now. 

“Then let’s go, bird.” He kissed your neck again. “Let me kiss you at home.” 

You squeezed his hand before walking to the door, him following suit, his body still so close to yours. You walked to his place, a little more than ten minutes away and because he had seemed calmed as he walked next to you, not really in a rush, it surprised you the way he pushed you against the wall the moment he closed it, his lips landed on yours with hunger and desperation. You gasped against his mouth and kissed him back with the same passion and you didn’t even recognize yourself as you wished for him to cup your breast. All of a sudden that thought, that had never really crossed your mind, seemed so important, so urgent, and you were dying for him to do just that so you kissed him harder, putting all that frustration on that kissed and he moaned against your mouth, sucking your tongue and diving his in that wet cave. 

“God.” He gasped against your mouth. 

He had never been so needy, so desperate for anything in his life and he almost felt guilty for the things he wanted to do to you. He had thought about it so many times, when he had seen you in little clothes, when you had done something he considered sexy, when you moaned as you took of your heels, when he saw you with wet hair after a shower. 

“You’re so perfect.” He rushed between kisses. “And you taste so good.” 

You fought for air as you surprised both of you, grabbing his hand and bringing it to your breast. 

“Fuck.” 

He squeezed the flesh, he cursed and he was afraid his knees might fail him because he had thought about wrapping his mouth around your nipples and so he had thought about you naked and he had never been this hard in his entire life. He hadn’t seen it coming, when you loosened the knot on the back of your neck and the front of your jumpsuit fell. You couldn’t wait either, you wanted him in a way that made you blushed, especially because he had pulled away from you and he was breathing heavily and he was staring down at your bare chest and maybe it had been too much, maybe you had pushed it.

“Holy shit.” He whispered. “You are actually perfect.” 

He didn’t give you enough time to say yes for he was kissing your neck a second after he had said it, his hands cupping your breasts and your waist and you could not wait anymore you could not wait at all and so you pushed your body against his, desperately, almost aggresively as if somebody had said this was the last time you’d be with him. 

“Harry” You whispered against his mouth “take me to your room.” 

He didn’t even lift his head from your neck and took you to his room, always kissing you as you walked backwards. He wasn’t saying much but then again he couldn’t believe it was actually happening, what he had thought about for years, what he had dreamt about for years. He had touched himself thinking about this, he had constantly reminded himself that you were at home for him to keep going and you had always been that lazy love of his, for the only constant thing in his life was the way he felt about you. 

He kept pushing you against all walls on his ways, devouring your lips and your neck and grabbing your flesh, your hips, your waist, your bum… You couldn’t take it anymore and the only thought of him being inside you, stretching your walls that had long been forgotten by yourself- because you were somehow waiting or somehow thinking that maybe, one day, Suz would forget about him and then you could tell him and he would know but the only thought, the only thought of him making you yours, of him entering you, his body connected with yours so you were one in that moment forever silent, something exclusively between you and him…

He lied you on the bed hovering above you and you took off his pants- his shirt had fallen somewhere on the way to his room- and his hard on sprung free, red, wet, swollen and you imagined it must be somewhat painful and your mouth watered- for you had never seen someone so big and so hard and thinking you had done that and that was for you made it watered double so you ran your thumb against his swollen tip as you held it in your hand, hot and hard, and he hissed and clenched his teeth. 

You kissed him so his jaw relaxed as you held him on your hand and you caressed the thin skin on his sex as your tongue was running on his bottom lip. He was a groaning, his hands holding his weight over you on the sides of your body as he let you explore him as he had explored you before and with a slow calm unfitting for the desperation in your belly, you kissed down his neck and chest and you seeped down his bed sheets until you were face to face with his arousal and the heat burnt your skin as you ran your tongue down his silk skin making a throaty groan come out of Harry who was trembling by then, still supporting his weight on his hands. 

He couldn’t take it anymore, the way you smelled, the way you sounded, the way you looked, the way you touched him because it had never felt like this, so intense, so wanted, so desperate and because it was you and he had never been more certain of anything in his entire life so the same moment you sucked his sex in your mouth, as if you were trying to drink all of him, he pulled out with a plop sound and grabbed you by your elbows pushing you against the bed. For a second you were afraid- you had done something wrong and he hadn’t liked it- but it was the suddennes and the desperation in which his mouth ravished yours as he pushed himself inside you that cleared that slight concern away. 

“Fuck, you’re soaked baby.” 

He moaned out loud even though he had barely got the tip in and he waited, for you to say something, for you to stop him, for you to make any signal of pain and he would immediately stop, but instead you placed your hands on his butt and pushed him inside you.

“I’m not wearing a condom.” He whispered. “But you were driving me crazy… That mouth of yours.” 

“I’m on the pill, H. Get inside, please.” You cupped your face and kissed him as he groaned. 

“Just tell me if it hurts yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

But you wanted it to sting, you wanted him to thrust into you so rough it made your head spinned for a while and you could tell how hard he was trying to control himself, to go slow because of you but you wanted it to burn your swollen lips and so pressing your hands against his bum, you thrusted your hips forward until you felt him on your stomach and he could barely breathe. 

He looked into your eyes and the moment he saw your pupils and how big they were dilated he understood without you having to say and thrusted his hips aggresively against yours so you shut your eyes and frowned as you moaned out loud, arching your back and he wanted to see that again so he pulled all the way out and all the way in again in one swift movement. Your sex grew thicker and thicker the more he thrusted his hips into you and he kept groaning- he wouldn’t last for long, he would embarrassingly come in no time- because you kept moaning and digging your nails on his back and he was fucking you harder than he had never fucked anyone before and it felt so good and so raw and pure, as if he had finally reached that place he had forever been walking towards. 

He fell on top of you, sweating, exhausted, and you wrapped your arms around him and massaged his scalp as he pressed lazy kisses on your neck. You didn’t say a word for as long as you kept trying to calm down your erratic breathings and even though it had only been a few minutes since he had been inside you, you already felt it sore and you weren’t sure if you could even move but your worries stopped the moment he looked into your eyes, with the biggest relieved grin you had ever seen on him and his hair was a mess and his eyes were dreamy and glossy and his lips red and swollen. He chuckled and pecked your lips once right before he stood up from the bed and walked inside the bathroom. You heard the shower running. 

“Are you coming?” He grinned from the bathroom door and you gave him a look as if saying not moving. He laughed. “Okay, would you please shower with me?” 

You smiled. 

“I would but I can’t feel my legs.”