Rain Kisses

Hiyaaa!!! Can you do a Illumi imagine in which he opens up to reader for the first of how he is always lonely and reader comforts him by telling him that they will never leave him as they love him?!

Hiiiii!!! OOO so this was a really interesting request to me because at first I was like “hmm idk if Illumi would” bUT the more I thought about it and the more I analyzed his character, I think I figured out how he would. Like he wouldn’t do it in the same way Killua would, so I really had to get into his mind for this. Haha anyways sorry for the ramble, I hope you enjoy and I hope you enjoy this!! Some vulnerable Illumi for the soul<3

Illumi had never questioned his place in this world, nor his place within the family. He was the eldest Zoldyck. He was had a role in the family. He was an assassin. He had no need for friends. He lived in a completely different world. He had no time for human feelings such as loneliness and longing. He was born to kill, born to serve his family. 

This is how the Illumi Zoldyck held his outlook on life. He was built to serve his family. Oh and they loved him anyways, right? Of course they did! If they didn’t love him, why would they always be sending him off to work? Why would he be the one to clean up any messes from the others if he wasn’t loved? Love to a human was deep, love to an assassin was recognition and skill. His parents loved him, that’s why he kept working. Killua loved him, that’s why Killua was able to harness all his talent and be the heir to the family business. 

At least that’s how Illumi saw the world, until his whole world came crashing down. He was walking about the Zoldyck Mansion, as he does on a regular day, and stopped outside the room where his parents were screaming. 

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Kikyo screamed, a muffled sob could be heard as her voice broke. “If it wasn’t for you, Killua would be home now. He would be here, where he belongs and carrying on the business. It’s your fault he’s running around freely!”

“He will be back,” Silva responded, unfazed by the woman’s outbreak. “This is my son we are talking about. You and I know very well he’s not like the others. He is a success.”

“And what if he never comes back?” she rebutted, not showing signs of calming down. “What are we supposed to do? Give the business to Illumi? Our first attempt and failure! The family is better off dead than in the hands of him!” 

“Will you stop it already!” Silva raised his voice. “You know I’m no idiot, I would never hand off the business to Illumi. You and I both know he is just a pawn, one we made to be thrown away. He serves us nothing like Killua will. We will get Killua back.” 

While Illumi listened in with what appeared to be an emotionless expression, his heart began to shatter has realization set in. He was unloved? He was unwanted? He would be casted aside? He would serve no purpose? He had no purpose? This world has no space for him? 

He rushed away from the scene, his thoughts racing as he tried to deny it all. It couldn’t be real, right? He was an assassin. He had no reason to long for love, for accept. Then why was he now falling apart? 

Now he found himself at your doorstep, breathing heavily as he repeatedly knocked on the door till you answered. 

“Illumi!” you answered surprised. “What are you doing here? I thought yo-”

“Do I have purpose?” Illumi asked, cutting you off. 

“Well yeah of course,” you answered confused at his sudden outburst. “Why are you asking?” 

“I don’t know who I am anymore,” his usual emotionless face became consumed with pain. He looked as if his whole body was about to break, like a fragile piece of glass. One more hit, and he would be shattered. You quickly pulled him inside and onto the couch, asking him gently what was going on. You let him know you were safe, that he could come to you. He had never opened up to anyone like this before, so at first was nervous. However, you were so gentle to him and so welcoming, he found himself able to tell you it all. He told you how lonely he was growing up, the abuse he faced, the lack of love and appreciation from his parents, how Killua left him, the conversation he just heard, and how he is only now realizing how empty he is. He had finally opened his heart up to not just you, but to himself. 

“Illumi,” you hugged him tightly. “I had no idea you were carrying all that. I mean I knew you had a rough upbringing, but I never knew how hard. I’m sorry you have been through all this. I promise, you are enough. You have me and all my love. I love you more than anything Illumi. You’re not alone anymore. I’m here for you, always.” 

For what felt like the first time, Illumi allowed himself to be consumed by your love as he melted in your touch, leaning on you. You two had been together for a few months now, but for the first time Illumi’s eyes and heart were opened. He realized he had been chasing after this type of real, pure love his entire love. He was human. He was lonely, and now he is loved. The gates to his heart were open. He was experiencing real love for once, and he loved it. 

*Kiss Me Sweetly

Tendou x f!reader 

Angst with a happy ending, excessive fluff, friends to lovers, smut, dry humping 

4.4k words

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