Nah… Look At Them 😪

Nah… look at them 😪

I Couldn't Be More In Love - part III

Colson and the reader have been friends since high school. “Friends”. Maybe they were more than that but before they never really spoke about it… and everything was okay until Colson started to act quite strange because the reader started to spend more and more time with his co-worker Harry Styles.

Part I

Part II

In the last couple of months I spent hella lot of time in the studio but I could not really compare nothing to the feeling what I felt when I recorded that particular song.

Maybe I needed to record it. Maybe it just cleaned my soul. It hurt me, but it felt so good.

Harry said that this might be the therapy I needed… and he was right. It wasn’t a composed song… everything just came from a really deep place… from my soul, from my heart. It wasn't planned... and maybe that was the reason why it was so... honest. Real.

"I think… I’m ready…" he stepped out from his fitting room after our photoshoot wearing already his chosen outfit for his birthday. The fact that he could pull off even a potato sack as much as Gucci was unbelievable. I think it was and still his superpower.

"That’s more than okay…. because I’m here waiting for the birthday boy." I stood up from my really comfortable chair and took his hand in mine. We decided that even if we had a long ass day we will celebrate his birthday with some friends in his house.

"You could have gone if you wanted…. " he said while we were walking to the car

"Oh yeah… that would have been such a good idea… turning up without the birthday boy. I think they would have killed me. They want you... Not me." I admitted.

I was really glad that we spent the last couple of hours doing some shoots and interviews because my makeup artist and hairdresser made me look kinda good so I didn’t have to worry to make something good out of my face alone… after that studio session I really needed some professional touch up… not just on my body but maybe on my soul too. sometimes I really think that these make-up artists in reality are wizards because they can do the impossible to happen.

"We thought that you would never really show up… " Matt Healy was the one who greeted Harry in the door.

"This perfection needs time to be made…" I pointed at Harry showing off his extravagant outfit which I was in love with.

"Y/N… Matt Healy… Matt Healy.. Y/N… your new lyricist love." Harry introduced me to his friend and I almost fainted hearing his words.

"Harry showed me some of your works… and Jesus Christ… when will you have free time for me? We have to work together… like ASAP." this kind of compliment was something I was never really dreaming of.

"Thank you… I think. And now, if you excuse me… I’m gonna hide somewhere where I can pass out for a bit…. because I was not expecting this… that’s for sure. Okay?" and I didn’t really try to hide my craziness I just needed some time alone… and maybe some alcohol in my blood too just to help me process everything.

"We can jam here too... We have everything here.... But mostly we need... us." I heard Harry and Matty chatting from the distance and I already started feeling excited but also relaxed. This space was my happy place, my friends were my happy place.

Just alone in the last year I met some really incredible and so talented people who I adore on a level what can’t really be explained with human words that I just gave up hiding my real feelings when I met them. I just really showed them how I felt then and there. Some people just deserved to be recognized and showed the love they can cause in the other's heart.

Maybe I was really overwhelmed by all the incredible people in the house that’s why I decided to go outside just for a minute, just for some fresh air… that’s when I saw a familiar car which wasn’t here when we arrived. Even if it was dark outside… I recognized that car… and then recognized the person who sat behind the wheel too… I just had to get closer.

How did he even get here? Why was he even here?

As I was getting closer and closer to him the heavy feeling inside my soul was getting more and more intense, but I just could not stop moving.

It was really Colson and he didn’t even notice me until I was right next to the car… because he was staring at his phone. When he saw me… I think he got scared a bit. He hesitated but then he started to let down the window but he didn't look at me.

It was clear that we hadn’t spoken in the last 24 hours. We could literally feel that. And there was a reason for that which was way more deeper than we thought before…. it was more than unspoken words. But my brain just could not function properly. Why? The answer was quite simply: I was afraid. To be honest… I was terrified.

"I bet you didn’t get back your license… so why are so driving around without it?" I just had to say something… no matter what but just some words... to melt the ice, to try to cover the awkwardness what we started to feel.

"Uuupps…" he admitted with an awkward smile. "You caught me…"

"I would be happier if you would take care of yourself… Mostly if you didn't try end up in jail... " I admitted and then somehow my hand just started to open the door because it was kinda frustrating that that thing was between us… and that he just didn’t really want to look at me properly. "How did you get here?" I asked him the right question.

"I don’t know… by car?" he answered and now I could smell his not so alcohol-free breath. His half ass joked didn't even reached my brain, I ignored it totally.

"I swear to God Colson… if you will drive like this again… I will kill you with my bare hands." I punched him in the chest, but he didn’t really care about it. He was there almost lifeless. "You really lost your mind…."

"And it seems I’m not the only one…. " he murmured then he touched his phone again so I could see what he was previously watching.

It was a recording of my last song in the studio… of THAT song.

"How… how did you get this?" my lips were trembling and when I wanted to reach out for his phone… he looked at me and our eyes finally met. I froze. My everything froze and I got paralyzed.

"The curly haired boy sent me this… with his adress." he let his phone fall to his lap while I was feeling that there were a storm coming for my body. I really thought that I was gonna pass out. My chest, my head, my body… every inch of me started aching intensely.

"I… I… I didn’t know about this…. He should not have..." I shook my head not really being able to form a proper sentence. I was shocked to say at least. The blood in my veins felt like ice cold water.

"Did you really write this for me?" he asked and when he did that I just had to lay to the door because if it would have not been there… I would have fallen. To move was something impossible for me. Maybe to exist was something even more impossible for me.

"For who else could have I written it?" I asked sarcastically maybe way too strongly.

"For anybody else… but not me… " and if something could hurt me… this was that something. If he would have said Harry’s name… I swear to God I would have buried him there and then in the garden.

"For God’s sake…" - I shook my head without even looking at him, without even breathing properly. "Why is that so imp…. " I wanted to say it out loud but before I could have finished my sentence, he brought me between his legs and his lips found mine.

First, I didn’t really know how to react so when he noticed this he thought that he made a mistake I made sure that he didn’t have to think that… not at all. Because after that first kiss… the second one was way more emotional.

That kiss had everything in it. The suffering of the last 24 hours, the tears from the studio, the lust I felt for him God knows since when. And maybe he felt something too because he sat back to the car pulling me on his lap as if it was the most natural thing to do.

I was holding his tired face between my fingers, I wanted to touch his soul as much as I wanted to touch every inch of his.

"Because I don’t deserve you… " he murmured to my lips when our forehead touched and needed some air to breathe. We tried to function properly, but it seemed that it was just not for us at the moment. "You are way too good for me… " he gently kissed my lips and while his words said one thing… his body said another thing.

" Can I decide that… ?" I asked then put my hands on the back of his neck staring at his ocean blue eyes which were shining so much that I just could not believe it. "I never really thought that… this would happen…never in a million years..." I bit my lips not really wanting to let him go. "Everything happens... so fast... "

"Yesterday… when you pulled that stunt on me… it took me so much strengths not to jump on you there and then and fuck the life out of you... " he admitted finally smiling a bit." … it was so hot that I just still can’t process it. I’m just so sorry that I was such an idiot… " and he said this I started to lay little, gentle kisses on his neck.

"A fact on what we can agree." I admitted getting closer to his ear, biting it a little bit. "But to be fair… the boys with a girlfriend never really were my type." I stated him referring to the well-known fact that Harry had a girlfriend which he didn’t really could process as it seemed before.

"I hope that he feels the same about this question too…" his hands just rested under my shirt, on my back, somehow they climbed there and I didn't really mind at all. His touch was calm... and much needed.

"Because am I your girlfriend now?" I asked him laying back a bit, looking at his face.

"I fucking hope so… because if not… this would be kinda awkward…" he admitted while my hands were already on his bare chest because my fingers just unbuttoned his shirt and while under my ass… I could really feel his real... thoughts. The undeniable lust.

"Ohhh… the saint has spoken…" I just had to laugh, I could not hold in, so I laid my head on his chest. "… I walked on you before in much worse situations… and then the girl wasn’t really your girlfriends to be honest…" I continued and just to torture him a bit I moved my hips just enough for him to notice.

"Psssst…. " he hid his face in my hair because he knew that he could have not say any bigger idiotness. "But you will be my girlfriend… won’t you?" he asked with real hope in his voice.

"I couldn’t be more in love…" I started murmur the song and I think with this I gave him my response.

"Okay… so now we can go in and tell this to everybody just to calm everybody’s soul down." he pointed to the house where was a real party going.

"Everybody’s or just yours?" I asked back furrowing my brows.

"Okay… let’s forget this. We just should go home..." he figured it out that this wasn’t his best idea yet. "But to be fair… the devil doesn’t really have a soul so..." he referred to himself.

"But if we talk about fairness... you really could say hi to the birthday boy…" it was the least he could do after this.

"But I already got the best gift ever? Maybe he would be jealous of me..." he squeezed my butt a little bit, but I still almost fell out of the car. His idiotness was next level.

"Jesus Christ Colson…" I almost burst into laughter while almost started to cry too. "… you should just shut up…"

"Maybe you should just help me with that…"

Tag list (tell me if You want to be on it) ♥

@no-shxt-sherl @kiss-yall @bakerkells @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @mgk-rooklover1997 @fake-me-out @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @southernmgkpunk @thegunnerkelly @lovemythsworld @painkillerash @rosesinmars

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