Since Joining Tumblr, I’ve Met A Lot Of Young Queer People. Look, I’m A Bisexual Man In A Gay Relationship,

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

More Posts from Whixy and Others

5 years ago

do you think bkdk have canonical feelings for each other and if so, in what way?

wig ok ive thought about this a lot

honestly, canonical feelings in a romantic way— like love or lust, nah. i don’t really believe that.

that isn’t to say that they don’t have a million complicated feelings piled up when it comes to each other. i definitely believe they care about each other deep down, and even ‘love’ each other platonically. their care for each other factors into their mutual obsession w/ one another that they don’t know how to handle.

as in, it’s clear in canon that izuku has always cared for katsuki. constantly wanting to help him, always reaching out to him if he can. like in season 1, he was literally willing to sacrifice a secret—that could’ve seriously put the entire world in danger—to make sure katsuki’s mental health was okay.

Do You Think Bkdk Have Canonical Feelings For Each Other And If So, In What Way?

that was something that i don’t think he would’ve gone out of his way to clarify for anyone else, but given the fact that izuku has been frequently running after katsuki his whole life, he feels some sort of entitlement to him. i don’t wanna say it’s ‘love’, because that’s not what being in love probably is, but it’s definitely more than how izuku just ‘cares’ for people. the way he sees katsuki is on another level, imo. and this is just one example.

like there’s also,,,, you know— the sludge villain incident, when katsuki got kidnapped, the final exams arc, etc

meanwhile, on the other hand, i believe katsuki also cares for izuku deep down, while not knowing how to show, or even wanting to convey those emotions at all. his hyper fixation on izuku showed right since the first season— in which izuku began a new life with his new power, and katsuki cared deeply for him and only him at that time. he made izuku’s ‘moving on’ all about himself, demanding to know answers and getting frustrated at the fact that izuku had ‘betrayed’ him. to me, even if katsuki doesn’t realize it himself, that says “i care about you and what youre doing, and i especially care about how you think of me”. that says “i care” in a bit of a messed up way. he feels like izuku is obligated to his benefit.

Do You Think Bkdk Have Canonical Feelings For Each Other And If So, In What Way?

like ok. who knew he would whine so much and feel so insecure about deku ‘tricking him’ when he originally could’ve ignored izuku completely and focused on himself.

in addition to that, i think subconsciously, katsuki sort of feels some sort of level of intimacy with izuku, and sees him as sort of a ‘safety net’ in a way…?

Do You Think Bkdk Have Canonical Feelings For Each Other And If So, In What Way?

like. why would he tell all this shit to izuku if he didnt feel something about izuku— if he didn’t feel like he needed him in some way? (like esp the line about todoroki. there was literally no reason katsuki had to tell him that but he for some reason just blurted his insecurities to izuku as if it were nbd, which is a big deal for him considering katsuki originally wants to think he can ‘beat everyone’) (and once again this is just one example of a few times)

listen,,, so basically i sorta went off topic but all in all i think they care about each other deep down, esp each other’s success. i think they ‘love’ each other platonically, while also subconsciously feeling some sort of permanent attachment to one another, because they do need each other— and that feeling is mutual.

5 years ago

Looking down at the exhausted, but finally clean, kitten in your lap, you smiled softly. You had found the little thing half frozen and incredibly ill, some monster having tied it up in a plastic bag and abandoned it in the dumpster. It was only the slight movement from within the bag, that had caught your attention, part of you having assumed it to be a rat of some sort. 

You were glad you had checked.

Though the kitten had stunk to high heaven, you were more concerned about warming it up, and had spent a good couple hours slowly warming up the tiny fur ball in the sink, not having wanted it to go into shock by warming it up too quickly. Once it had warmed properly and was moving a little more, you had hastily washed what you could from its body, before gently wrapping it in a towel, wishing you had a hair dryer.

Much to your relief, the kitten had eaten quite well as you fed it by hand, keeping it wrapped up until it dried. By the time you had unwrapped the tiny little thing, it had fallen fast asleep, little belly full and body finally a safe temperature. 

Running your fingers over its soft belly, you snickered  softly, watching the way its little paws twitched as it dreamed. Who could possibly harm such a sweet little thing, you would never know.

Deciding that you should probably find something to let it sleep in, you carefully started to pick it up from your lap, only to freeze, feeling something odd on its back. With careful, slow movements, you rolled it over, lips twitching as it simply remained asleep. 

You were gentle as you ran your fingers over the strange growths on its back, trying to figure out what they were. As if in answer to your question, the tiny kitten stretched sleepily in your palm, both growths abruptly spreading wide with a tremble, before tucking back into its side as it drifted back off contentedly.

Dumbfounded, you stared down at the “kitten”, trying to absorb the fact that yes, your new little furry companion did in fact, have bat wings of all things.

You needed a drink.

5 years ago

rb this with ur opinion on this shade of pink:

Rb This With Ur Opinion On This Shade Of Pink:
5 years ago
A Gremlin™ Appears
A Gremlin™ Appears
A Gremlin™ Appears
A Gremlin™ Appears
A Gremlin™ Appears

A Gremlin™ appears

5 years ago
whixy - WHIXY
whixy - WHIXY
whixy - WHIXY
whixy - WHIXY
5 years ago
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places
Our Bones Remember The Struggles We Went Through. And We Are Not Voiceless After All.  Other Places

Our bones remember the struggles we went through. And we are not voiceless after all.  Other places to see my posts: INSTAGRAM / FACEBOOK / ETSY

5 years ago
Bkg Being Huffy And Soft
Bkg Being Huffy And Soft
Bkg Being Huffy And Soft
Bkg Being Huffy And Soft

bkg being huffy and soft

5 years ago
All Might’s Other Life Long Friend From America
All Might’s Other Life Long Friend From America

All Might’s other life long friend from America

twitter

5 years ago

me: i wanna write

someone: then… write?

me:

Me: I Wanna Write
5 years ago
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 
AU Where Bakugou’s Mask Moves According To His Emotions, Making It Extremely Easy To Read Him Lol 

AU where Bakugou’s mask moves according to his emotions, making it extremely easy to read him lol 

+Patreon+

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whixy - WHIXY
WHIXY

Lic. Graphic Designer and Illustrator. Venezuelan. 22.

269 posts

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