Maki Naro @ The Nib

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

bkg being huffy and soft

What people think writing is like: careful planning and thought out plotlines

What writing is actually like: being possessed by an idea that you are constantly arguing with

Legitimate *pro bono legal services* don’t exist without a good reason. In a few of the exmormon groups I’m in you’ll see regular posts saying stuff like “Look what my lawyer sent me today!” with a pic of their resignation confirmation letter from the church.

You know. Just stuff that a normal average church that is definitely not actually a cult would do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

🙄

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

more under the cut!

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On reptile and invertebrate cognition...

Something that bothers me when people talk about the cognitive limitations of certain animals is that vague, human-centric words get thrown around and treated like Indisputable Science. When really, the definitions attached to those words are really important.

Example 1: “Reptiles don’t feel happiness”

Well, what exactly do you mean by “happiness”? Do you mean the exact combination of cognitive and emotional sensation that constitutes human happiness? Reptiles certainly don’t experience human happiness, but neither do canines or birds (which don’t even experience mammalian happiness), and we don’t usually go around saying that dogs or parrots don’t feel happiness. We understand that dogs and parrots experience a positive emotional state that is similar to human happiness.

Reptiles aren’t as cognitively or emotionally complex as dogs, parrots, or humans, but they still experience pleasure and can form positive associations. Should we call that happiness? Is a positive emotional state, characterized by high levels of pleasure, an absence of pain, and all current needs being adequately met not a primitive version of what we call happiness?

Same with “reptiles don’t feel emotions”. Well, no, they don’t experience anything approaching the intensity of human emotions, as they don’t have big, thinky cortexes to attach meaning to the emotional reactions of their limbic system. But recent studies have shown that reptiles do have a primitive version of the limbic system and even the neocortex (that whole “reptile brain, mammal brain, human brain” theory has been all disproved by recent science).

At the very least reptiles experience the primitive emotions of pleasure and fear. There are even reptiles that mate for life and form social bonds (even to the point of caring for offspring that are not their own) and reptiles do actually have their own version of the hormone oxytocin (it’s so similar that vets can administer oxytocin to eggbound reptiles to make them lay). So there’s likely more emotional complexity there than we currently understand.

Example 2: “Tarantulas can’t learn”

What do you mean by “learn”? Do you mean that you can’t train a tarantula to spin on command? Or do you mean that a tarantula isn’t capable of changing its present behavior based on past experiences?

Pretty much any animal that can encode memories of past experiences can learn. Recent science has shown that even some plants may be able to somehow encode past experiences and become desensitized to repetitive stimuli and they don’t even have brains.

Like most animals, tarantulas will dampen their reaction to repeated stimuli. A tarantula that is regularly picked up will eventually have a less dramatic response to the stimulus of being placed into a hand. That’s a type of learning.

Tarantulas can also learn to associate a particular stimulus with an event that repeatedly comes afterward (like Pavlov’s Dogs). They will very quickly attune to the set of stimuli that occurs right before feeding time or their cage being opened. That’s learning.

Fun Fact: Studies have shown cockroaches can learn this way too and that cockroaches can recognize and show preferences for individual humans. Hissing cockroaches placed in the hands of someone they recognize are less likely to defensively hiss than when placed in the hands of a stranger.

This may seem like a silly thing to be bothered by, but the reality is that the way we talk about animal cognition can have a real, tangible impact on their welfare.

People can jump pretty quickly from “reptiles don’t experience happiness/emotion” to “reptiles can’t experience pain/discomfort”. Which can lead to devaluing the welfare of reptiles or assuming that as long as the animal is alive and not actively ill or injured there’s nothing else to worry about. This kind of thinking is a big part of the major pushback against enrichment in certain reptile keeping circles.

Similarly, enrichment is almost unheard of in most of insect and arachnid keeping despite the fact that there is a growing scientific consensus (and even a handful of studies) that invertebrates can benefit from enrichment. There also aren’t any welfare laws governing experiments on invertebrates (except cephalopods) because they’re largely considered to be akin to instinctual robots and unable to feel pain or discomfort.

As people who know the difference, it is really important to use specific language and explain what we mean when talking about the cognitive capabilities of animals (especially often maligned and misunderstood animals).

✩ Midoriya Izuku ⋆ 緑谷出久 + Horikoshi’s Sketches ✩

Bakugou: anything that comes out of your mouth is fucking stupid

Todoroki: All Might

Bakugou: [loud gasp]

[later]

Todoroki: [crying into his All Might pillow] i’m so sorry All Might, i didn’t mean it, he was just being so obnoxious