I Felt That

some scorching hot tea brought to you by mr. peanutbutter

history fucked me up

oxford was built and operational as a college before the rise of the mayans and cleopatra lived in a time nearer to pizza hut’s invention than to the pyramids being built

Can I stay on the phone with you at least?

bojack has meant a lot to me over the years so it’s a bittersweet good-bye… thanks for comforting and inspiring me through thick and thin

me consuming fictional work after fictional work to distract myself from the fact that i exist: i can have little a escapism. as a treat.

S03E13 - The Coming of Arthur part II (deleted scene)

the Moon in “The Goldfinch”, part 1

It seems the moon plays a great part in “The Goldfinch”. Boris’s Arabic name is Badr al-Dine which means “The full moon of Faith”; according to Theo’s father Theo’s zodiac sign is Cancer, and the ruling planet of Cancer is the moon; Theo’s mother tells him her childhood story about being homesick and cured by the presence of the moon... Pure coincidence? Let’s run through the book and do some research.

The very first time we meet the moon on the pages is right after the explosion when Theo explains to the reader what he sees.

An image of a damaged, ruined world with a boy inside looking at the moonscape of rubble, trying to orient himself and figure the best way to go.

Then Mr.Barbour, Andy’s father obsessed with the sea and yachting, mentions the moon. Why here? Cause if Barbours had had Theo with them that summer everything would have changed for him, he would have been the part of their family, they would have been his new home. However, as we are aware that never happened. The mist in the description...

The next time the moon appears again it’s an object, a moon dial clock at Hobie’s. Theo’s attached to many things in his house: smell of beeswax and wood, furniture, dense, almost touchable foggy, autumnal, a mild and welcoming micro-climate. It’s the very sense of home for Theo. No surprise something moon shaped emerges just after the formal greetings between Hobie and Theo.

With Larry even this vague sense of home is gone again. Theo feels uncomfortable around him and wishes he was anywhere else (Tibet, Lake Tahoe, the moon). Besides, the last time Theo and his mother went out for a meal happened to be in a place called Moondance Diner.

In Vegas Theo’s room is bare and lonely, no one cares that he never changes his clothes or isn’t in therapy. He pokes around the house and finds random stuff like real estates leaflets, new wine glasses still in the box and other things including a cardboard box of beat-up trade paperbacks such as Your Moon Signs. But all these things aren’t on their places, that’s why it still doesn’t feel like home at all. But the chapter isn’t named Badr al-Dine for nothing.

So basically Boris is an embodiment of the moon, faith and home. Boris answers Theo’s question whether the moon is the same everywhere with a bold confidence “of course it is, you idiot”. There’s a very significant part of Theo’s doubtfulness about that. He doesn’t want to accept all this as his home though he has no alternative cause even in his dream there’s no solitude and his mother’s image is faulty.

The next time we see a crescent moon which enlightens the thrilling scene in the swimming pool.

What’s this all about? Boris sings a polish song about two smalls kittens, and the boys are them indeed. Lost, scared, laughing and grieving, alone and together at the same time, covered in blood (Boris’s mostly). It seems unreal but the next day breaks into this inexistence bringing the bright sun. And nothing happens, the spell isn’t broken: they’re here together and alive.

Badr al-Dine chapter ends with Christmas celebration (Boris’s praznyky, праздники :) and Larry saying these very words:

The whole thing is so magical that after Boris’s toast Theo accepts happiness doesn’t seem quite such a doomed or fatal idea.

Wind, Sand and Stars starts with Boris’s girlfriend Kotku and a half a year time gap in Theo’s storytelling canvas. The main things have to be mentioned: 1. firstly, Theo’s not on good terms with Kotku’s assumptions of ownership of Boris 2. Secondly, he becomes closer to his father. However, this situation proves to be a double betrayal when Larry freaks out and beats Theo trying to make him get the money immediately. Just after that Boris comes and tells Theo he’s forced to leave the country because of his father’s job. Everything seemes frozen, like the planet has stopped. However, the moon is still there. In spite of being a disturbingly unreliable narrator Theo reveals he’s overwhelmed with feelings he’s troubled to explain.

After departing ways we won’t see the proper moon for a significant amount of time. And when we finally meet it again (with an appearance of Boris, of course) it’ll be a completely different moon according to Theo.

🎵Mr. Blue, don’t hold your head so low that you can’t see the sky🎵