Whorefornoodles - :4

smoked many many cigs tn merry christmas to all and to all a gn

what it’s like kissing nagi, reo and barou !

kissing nagi always starts off a little lazy, slowly pressing his lips against yours. he always takes his time with it — exploring your mouth, learning your reactions, relishing in the small noises you let out. he kisses like time means nothing to him, not when he’s got you in his arms. each languid movement from his lips feels like ocean waves lapping against your skin. the kind that tries to lull you into deeper waters. he mumbles your name against your lips and like a sirens call, you follow it. leaving you securely wrapped up in his arms as he continues to dive into you for as long as he wants.

reo on the other hand, kisses you like the world is on fire. and yet that doesn’t stop him from taking all the air out of your lungs. consistently leaving you both breathless, the passion driving the two of you in a downward spiral. one that has you chasing his lips everytime he pulls away to catch his breath, wasting no time in putting his mouth back on yours. because the choice between breathing and kissing you was never difficult, and he’d choose you over everything and anything in this burning world.

but then there’s kissing barou. who never does anything without purpose. he’ll leave with you swollen lips every time — nipping at them to draw you closer to him. each of his movements are filled with so much confidence, so much precision. for extra support, he’s not afraid to grab onto you and pull you close — grounding you so the center of your world is him, just as he intends. the deep rumbles emitting from his chest feels like an earthquake threatening to swallow you whole and yet all you can do is hold on just a little tighter.

can you imagine this massive man (scorching hot single dad nanami kento, 34) picking up his little girl from school, a little worn out because of work but absolutely happy to see his baby?

he kisses her forehead, slings her tiny butterfly backpack on his shoulder. his tired smile and the love he has for his daughter make you melt.

all of the moms are always talking about him and you totally get why. their every comment is so right.

“sorry for picking her up late, miss.”

“oh, no worries! we had lots of fun painting, right, sunshine?”

his mini-me nods enthusiastically and he melts. there’s nothing more he appreciates than you, his daughter’s teacher, caring so much.

is it wrong that wants to ask you out on a date? maybe, just maybe, take you to his house afterward?

Omg I’ve been binge reading your headcanons these last couple of days and I am absolutely I’m love with your writing!! There was just an idea that popped into my head, can I request the haikyuu boys scolding their pregnant s/o as they caught them doing something they definitively shouldn’t do, for example climb a high chair or shelf to reach something? I am in my baby fever feels 🥺🥺 with iwaizumi, suna, atsumu kuroo and whoever you like 🥰

scolding their pregnant s/o for doing something “dangerous”

↳ timeskip!iwaizumi, suna, atsumu, kuroo, kita

↳ a/n : stoppp omg tysm i’m so happy so hear that!! <333 apparently i’m on a baby fever roll too so here you go my dear nonnie😽 and thanks again!

↳ CLICK HERE FOR PART 2!

 — IWAIZUMI

“you seriously thought i wouldn’t catch you disobeying me?” he rhetorically asks when he sees you trying to get off of the counter as soon as you hear his footsteps in the corridor. obviously he doesn’t just stay there with his arms crossed but instead tells you to hold on to his arms to help you get down. surprisingly enough, he doesn’t really scold you for your recklessness... and you understand why the next day. it’s only 7am and morning sickness is what wakes you up, but you only get out of bed after realizing iwa isn’t next to you. and clearly you didn’t expect to see him sitting in the kitchen surrounded by wooden planks and metallic tools. “what?” he asks in front of your surprised expression, then explains himself very naturally: “these shelves are obviously out of reach for you, i have to rebuild them”

— SUNA

he knows you want to prove that you’re still capable of doing everything you used to do; and that’s why, after grabbing what you needed on the shelf, he has no choice but to threaten you in his own way: “if i ever catch you doing this kind of shit again, no more belly rubs for you, understood?”. but in fact he did catch you ‘doing this shit again’ a few days later... and your belly was still thoroughly rubbed that same evening. sat between his legs with a satisfied smile spread on your lips, you watched him point a finger at your belly: “now listen up, little one” he started with a very serious tone “don’t you dare be a stubborn baby, because i won’t be able to handle two of you... i can barely handle one”. chuckling at his words, you laid your head on his shoulder and grabbed his hand to put it back on your belly, “don’t worry, i think you handle me perfectly well, rin”

— ATSUMU

unlike iwaizumi, it’s through words that atsumu calmly communicates you his concern. “BABY WHAT’RE YA DOIN’??! ARE YA OUT OF YER MIND? WHAT IF TSUMU JUNIOR GETS HURT, HUH?”. but as soon as he sees you trying to get off that chair on your own, he runs to you with his arms stretched out in front of him. “for the last time, we’re not calling our baby tsumu junior” you reprimand him as he carefully carries you to the couch, where he sits down to put your legs on his lap. “but think about it!” he exclaims, “that way ya won’t ever have to say ‘i love ya’ to someone whose name isn’t atsumu...”. you roll your eyes, amused, and point out that he seems to have already thought everything through. and his answer is the same as usual: “well what else’m i supposed to think about if it’s not the two of ya?”

— KUROO

suddenly this smart mouth loses the ability to string more than two words together: “wow- wait! wha-hold up, don’t- you shouldn’t-”. in other terms, he’s panicking. “relax, tetsu. i’m ok” you try to calm him down as he carries you to help you get down from that chair with a worried look in his eyes. “what’s the point of having a tall husband if you’re still trying to reach the shelves on your own?!” he asks after making sure you’re safe and sound. hearing that, you flash him a smile that you know he won’t be able to resist, before wrapping your arms tightly around his waist: “this”. and you were right, as much as he’s still upset about what just happened, he really can’t resist that smile. “ok you got me there”, he chuckles, but promises himself to actually lecture you after the hug...

— KITA

a single glare from kita is enough to make you understand that you’re in trouble. big time. but as usual he doesn’t even raise his voice, which might even be worse... “what did i tell ya?” he asks once you have both feet on the floor. at first you don’t think that he actually expects an answer, but he absolutely does. so you give it to him, almost reciting it by heart: “if you ever need something, call me before doing anything stupid”. he nods approvingly, but you still feel the need to defend yourself, telling him that you didn’t want to bother him while he was busy outside. “whatever it is that i’m doin’ outside, it can’t be more important than not lettin’ ya get hurt”, he replies before outstretching his arm to grab two chocolate bars on the shelf: “i guess this is what ya wanted?”, he asks in a softer tone before putting them in your hand with a gentle smile. “you know me too well shin”, you mirror his smile, placing a quick peck on his lips.

TAGLIST : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @ughgojo @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @cubbluv @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac @ijustwantfreenetflix @miw0 @maitenight @xomiya @shoyotime @borealis-tristesse @lilliansis @succulentmom

unicorns and pomegranates

summary: Suna x F!Reader. "Do you ever feel like you were born to serve and die for someone in glorious battle," Suna says, valiantly failing not to flick his eyes back to you. You're frowning at your drink, trying to pick a particle off its rim with a nail. "Sexually, I mean."

"You are not normal," Atsumu tells him.

word count: 1.4k

cw: angst to fluff, friends to lovers, mild objectification, suna has strange inclinations, intoxication, one or two references to sex, …hand mention

a/n: i almost titled this "stop picking fights with knights and come wear tunics with the eunuchs"

You can't believe you were actually looking forward to this team dinner. It's the stupid fancy gala EJP Raijin puts on annually, in a stupid beautiful venue covered in white marble and stupid crystal chandeliers. You'd been so excited when Suna said, offhandedly, I get a plus-one, you wanna come with?

You should've known it would end up like this, feeling self-conscious in your expensive clothes while Suna stands far away and doesn't pay attention to you at all. He's not your date, you're his plus-one, gifted a glimpse into the world of professional athletes for one night only. He expects you to mingle with his friends, maybe even get yourself a real date to the next team event. It's such a stupid, cruel joke of the stars that he's the only one of these talented, handsome men that you want.

You take a sip of champagne and try not to think about it. He'd come to pick you up in his ridiculous fancy red car and stared at you with his inscrutable features and said I don't know, I'm sure it's fine, when you asked what he thought. Glowing praise, you thought, sitting among models and Olympians.

Across the room, Suna is trying to pretend that he is a eunuch. Eunuchs don't throw their best friends over their shoulder and carry them home and make sweet, sweet love to them all night long.

"There's something wrong with your face," Atsumu says.

"Do you ever feel like you were born to serve and die for someone in glorious battle," Suna says, valiantly failing not to flick his eyes back to you. You're frowning at your drink, trying to pick a particle off its rim with a nail. "Sexually, I mean."

"You are not normal," Atsumu tells him, "but yeah, I get the feeling."

They lapse into silence for a moment. One of the guys who came stag walks up to you and jumps into conversation. Suna imagines spiking a ball into his face several times.

"Are you feeling like that because of—" Atsumu starts, but Suna cuts him off with a violent slashing motion across the throat.

"If you say the words out loud, they become true," Suna says. "Shut your fat mouth."

"She does look good," Atsumu muses. "Nice necklace."

"Don't look at her," Suna says. "I actually don't even know who you're talking about. She's wearing a necklace?"

He glances back. You aren't, which soothes his concern that he'd been so distracted by the generous amount of décolletage revealed by your top he'd missed major details of your appearance, which he planned to burn into his memory and then never speak about until he died. His last words were probably going to be "the top button was undone."

"Maybe you would be failing less miserably if you actually talked to your date," Atsumu says. "How did you ask her to be your date without actually dating her?"

"It takes a lot of skill to put yourself this deeply in the friendzone," Suna says. "Someday you'll understand."

"I hope not," Atsumu says with feeling. "Hey, look, they're doing shots."

The rando who’s talking to you is clinking his glass against yours, making unnecessarily intense eye contact. Suna frowns; staring at you like a weirdo is his job. You glance away from your drinking partner for a second, your gazes connecting, and that’s all the invitation Suna needs to cross the room in the space of a split second. He snatches your shot from you with two long fingers and tosses it back, grinning widely at the other man when he’s swallowed.

“That was mine,” you say without vitriol.

“That was vodka,” he says, feeling the warm buzz of it in his belly. “You’re allergic.”

“Not allergic,” you roll your eyes, “just a lightweight.”

It’s true. Vodka gets you way too drunk, way too fast. Why hadn’t you said anything to this other guy? You only ever drink such hard liquor when you’re upset.

Are you upset?

“I’ll buy you another drink,” he promises. He’s glad he took the drink from you. It’s having a strange, dizzying effect the longer he looks at you, your darkened eyes, your parted lips. He reaches up and sweeps the back of his hand just over the curve of your neck, a light touch. He’s pleased when it leaves goosebumps in its wake, a short-lived mark he can leave on you.

“It’s an open bar, dummy,” you roll your eyes. The guy you were talking to has faded into the distance, though you don’t even notice.

He’d meant to stay away from you tonight. He’d meant to be a respectful friend, one who didn’t steal glances at you that he shouldn’t, one who didn’t want to punch out anyone else who looked at you with lust on their face. Every time he steps away, though, you seem to be tossing back another drink, giggling and leaning on a new shoulder, and he’s back at your side, plucking your hand away and glaring at whoever tries to talk to you.

Finally, he follows you down the hall to the bathroom, where you spin and lean heavy on the wall, facing him. Your eyes are bright and teary, all the gloss rubbed off your downturned lips, but he still wants to kiss them, for some reason (because he’s a creep, he scolds himself).

“What are you doing,” you sigh, and he blinks, taken aback.

“Just watching out for you, I guess,” he says. You pout.

“You don’t even care,” you say, voice catching. “You’re hovering like a jealous boyfriend and I don’t even know why.”

“I’m not,” he protests lamely.

“I know!” You explode, pushing away from the wall and wobbling dangerously. He clamps a hand down on your arm and supports your body with his; you are a bamboo shoot and he’s the stake. “I know. You think I’m ugly, you’ll never like me. I get it.”

“What?” Your skin is warm to the touch, and you smell a touch sweet, a touch spicy. He wants to lick the skin behind your ears, where your perfume is spritzed strongest. You couldn’t be more wrong if you declared that Atsumu was going to win a prize for scientific achievement.

“This is stupid,” you say, and oh, oh, no, there are tears welling up and streaking down your face. He pulls you in firmly, playing with the short hairs on the back of your neck. You cry into his chest, even though he’s the reason. “I want to go home. I just wanted to have fun.”

“I know,” he says, voice low, like he’s talking to a wounded animal, “I’ll take you home.” For some reason this encourages a fresh bout of sobbing. “I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“I just wanted you to think I was pretty,” you hiccup on the last word, and his heart stops.

“I think you’re so pretty,” Suna says. “I think you’re gorgeous. You don’t think you’re pretty?”

“I know I’m pretty,” you say, and he keeps trying to step back, walk away, pull himself out of a situation he has to be misunderstanding. “I thought you did, too, enough to invite me to this stupid thing, enough that I was so excited to pretend we were together or maybe that we would be together for real someday. Fuck, I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not,” he begs you to believe him.

“I thought just because you’re beautiful and you look at me—sometimes—like you want me or something and you touch me all the time, it might mean something. I am an idiot. And a bad friend. I even like your hands, Suna, you’ve made me so crazy I can’t even look at your hands without thinking about your fingers—”

Suna grabs you before you can finish a sentence that will surely land you pressed up against the wall with one of the hands in question in your pants. He says your name, serious, voice grating against all his instincts.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do,” you insist, looking like you’re going to start crying again. “I—fuck. I love you, Rintarō.”

It’s the final nail in the coffin.

“I’m going to enter noble and valorous combat to prove my worthiness,” he says instantaneously. You peer up at him, expression simultaneously baffled and cutting.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Suna says hurriedly. “Let’s go home. You should lie down, and tomorrow I need to clear some things up, repeatedly. Possibly for the rest of our lives.”

“baby, i have some bad news.”

if it weren’t for the goofy smile on kuroo’s face, you’d be a little more concerned by his words.

he’s waiting at the bottom of the stairs—all dolled up in his white dress shirt and black trousers. his interview with the jva is in about an hour’s time, so of course you dragged yourself out of bed to see him off—for good luck and whatnot.

“ugh you’re right, that tie does not match,” you grin, wrapping your blanket around yourself as you stroll down the remaining steps. his tie is solid black, but you thought a joke would do him some good—that, and you just wanted to see the priceless look on his face.

“first of all, ouch.” he clutches his heart with his right hand, feigning hurt as he passes you the coffee mug from his left. “and second of all, it’s pouring out.”

“so? you’re not made of sugar,” you hum, slowly shuffling into the kitchen as you sip at the hot beverage. he trails not far behind, stopping beside you as you watch the droplets stream down the window.

“i mean, i am pretty sweet,” he grins, slinging an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close.

“i think it’s pronounced lame,” you laugh. he peers down at you, and you can see the indent in his cheek from him biting down on the flesh—because heaven forbid you make him laugh.

he drops his arm from your shoulders, and swipes the coffee right out from under your nose. leaning against the counter, he tilts the cup back and downs the entire thing, finishing with an extra obnoxious ahh.

“as i was saying,” he pauses, sliding the empty mug onto the counter with a satisfied smirk. “you’ve seen my hair when it’s wet—totally not professional.”

“right, because your hair is so professional to begin with,” you respond, choking back a laugh of your own.

“hey, business in the front.” he smoothes a hand over his fringe before spinning on his heels and ruffling the locks at the rear of his head. “party in the back.”

“did you put that on your resume?” you ask, smiling as you watch him reach for a new coffee pod. he presses a few buttons, and within seconds you have a brand new cup brewing.

“yeah, i did.” he plants his hands on your hips, caging you between himself and the counter. “right under the paragraph about how sweet i am.”

he kisses you, and it’s innocent—no ulterior motives in sight. that is, until you pull him back in by his tie. you knew what you were doing, lighting that fire under his ass. now he’s overwhelming. the way he’s wedging his knee between your legs, taunting you with his little gasps that spill into your mouth—it’s making your head spin.

“how long do we have?” you breathe out, the urge to give him a little more than luck becoming all consuming.

he glances down, squinting to make out the tiny hands on his wrist. twelve minutes until he has to leave—more than enough time. he grips the back of your thighs, guiding you up onto the marble surface. the blanket that once hugged your figure is now discarded onto the floor, and now the warmth comes from his hands as they begin to wonder.

it’s the two of you versus the clock, and he’s not thinking with his head anymore—not that he usually does. he presses himself against you with force, and you have to plant your hands on the countertop for balance. but, it feels rather wet, and hot—and now the scorching cup of coffee that was waiting for you is settling into the fabric of kuroo’s dress pants. don’t get him wrong, he was all for making a mess, just not this kind.

“tetsu i,” you gasp, eyes widening as he pulls back with a hiss. the stain forming on his pants is practically invisible due to the dark material, but unfortunately for him—the splash zone wasn’t limited to just his lower half. “i have some bad news.”

You don’t win alone. That’s just how it is.

obsessed with this tweet

different types of kisses w hq men !

good night kisses - kita, akaashi, atsumu, TSUKI, sakusa, hinata, bokuto, oikawa, suga & osamu

kisses in which, you've already said goodbye but he can't help stealing another one. - OIKAWA, kuroo, atsumu, matsun, SUNA, hanamaki, daichi & kunimi

kitchen counter make-outs - ATSUMU !!, kuroo, suna, oikawa, IWAIZUMI, sakusa, meian, ushijima & aran

soft kisses while cuddling in bed - kenma, tsukishima, osamu, atsumu, sakusa, tendou, bokuto & kageyama

i missed you kisses - oikawa, suna, atsumu, kenma, sakusa, ushijima, kageyama, MATSUN, hinata & sugawara

a kiss on the cheek that turns into a kiss on the lips - KUROOO, akaashi, iwa, ushijima, yamaguchi, osamu & komori

one small kiss, pulling away for an instant, then devouring each other. - suna, ATSUMU, sakusa, KAGEYAMA, tsukishima, kuroo, IWAIZUMI !!!, meian, romero, daichi & matsun

top of head kisses - SAKUSA, tsuki, kuroo, ushijima, meian, AKAASHI, sugawara, daichi, semi & iwa